


How To Pet: A User's Guide

by drainbamage954 (cats_cradle6766)



Series: How To Pet [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Asshole!Junmyeon, Barebacking, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Cats, Cats Turning into Humans, Collars, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Hand Jobs, M/M, Marking, Platonic Petting, Scratching, Spoons, catnip, petting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-13
Updated: 2013-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-23 00:49:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 86,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3748909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cats_cradle6766/pseuds/drainbamage954
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lu Han has never really been able to get along with cats. Until Junmyeon gets one and his life is turned into even more insanity that it already is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How to Pet: A User's Guide [Non-Explicit]

**Author's Note:**

> For those wondering at the sudden addition of chapters for this story, please allow me to explain.
> 
> I have long been uncomfortable with many aspects of How to Pet: A User's Guide and thus have edited and created two versions of the story: a non-explicit and an explicit version. 
> 
> The non-explicit version will be posted in the body of Chapter 1, titled "How to Pet: A User's Guide : Non-explicit". This version has been edited to remove all of the sexual scenes and much of the references for sexual content and has been purged of any use of the word "fuck" or other equally offensive language (slurs, derogatory allusions, etc). That version is suitable for teen and up audiences.
> 
> The explicit version will be posted in the body of Chapter 2, titled "How to Pet : A User's Guide : Explicit." This version has very minor edits but in general the original content of the story is exactly the same. It has been virtually unaltered save for the modification of "Luhan" to "Lu Han" in accordance with proper nomenclature and linguistics. This version still contains explicit profanity and other offensive language. I have kept this version available primarily because a clean and altered version is provided and I am not under the impression that readers will fully support a completely 'revised' version being posted and the original completely removed. This version is explicit (NC-17) and is not suitable for audiences teen or younger.
> 
> That is all for explanation concerning How to Pet: A User's Guide. I appreciate any support, kindness, and enthusiasm from readers, new and old, who may enjoy this story. I remind that How to Pet is not a serious work, was written for a specific recipient from a prompt, and is a mark of my own early days as a writer. It is not to be distributed without permission and plagiarism is not tolerated.
> 
> Thank you for reading.
> 
> \- Drainbamage954 (Lonio)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the Non-Explicit version of How to Pet: A User's Guide. 
> 
> It is currently still being edited and revised and will be posted as soon as possible. Thank you for your patience.

Currently, the rated T version of this story is still being edited and will be posted before the end of 2016. Any who wish to read that version of the story are asked to please wait until I am able to complete it and post it.

Thank you for your patience.

Sincerely,

\- Drainbamage954


	2. How To Pet: A User's Guide [Explicit]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the originally posted version of 'How to Pet: A User's Guide' with minimal mechanical and polishing to initial errors. This contains all of the original rated (explicit/sexual) content from the original piece and should not be read by anyone under the age of 18 due to the graphic content.
> 
> The only major change to this story is that the name 'Luhan' has been changed to 'Lu Han' through the entirety of the text to adhere to character conformity and proper nomenclature.

Lu Han has a problem.

It is nothing dramatic, like leprosy or an allergy to himself or a crippling case of claustrophobia. No, Lu Han’s problem is that no matter what he tries, despite all of his best intentions and attempts, every single cat he has ever encountered seems to harbor some sort of instant loathing for him. Usually, Lu Han can just get by with this, sitting on the couch of his friends as their cat stalks around and loves everyone except him. Usually, as soon as Lu Han even so much as tries to go near it, the cats react as if he’s just come at them with his hand on fire. 

Yixing, when he managed to finally notice how Lu Han would sadden as Yixing’s extremely friendly cat Lightsaber (Lu Han never even bothered asking about the unfortunate name) would dart away, hissing and falling over itself as soon as Lu Han went near it, made vague attempts to console him whenever he noticed. 

“You have to let him approach you,” Yixing tried to explain to Lu Han carefully, laying a gentle hand on Lu Han’s shoulder. “Cats take their time and do things on their own terms. They are very independent creatures. You can’t just come at them like you would a dog.”

Lu Han doesn’t really point out that dogs don’t really seem to like him either. Well, except for Yifan’s extremely stupid Labrador, but Chanyeol eats squirrels and tennis balls, so Lu Han doesn’t really consider himself that special. Lu Han finds little consolation in Yixing’s advice, as he sits on the floor for a good three hours waiting for Lightsaber to approach him. Lightsaber seems to think Lu Han is mostly pathetic if the swishing of his tail and the constant twitching of his ears is any indication. 

Lightsaber seemed okay with their relationship until Lu Han tried to pet him on the head, at which point he left a gaping wound on Lu Han’s wrist and wouldn’t come out from under Yixing’s bed for the rest of the day. 

Yixing patted Lu Han on the shoulder and told him to buck up. 

Lu Han thinks he’s hopeless. Which is why, when Junmyeon shows up to their apartment with two bags of litter, some cat food, a scratching post, and a cat carrier full of small ball of feline fluff, Lu Han wonders if his roommate has a secret vendetta to completely ruin Lu Han’s self esteem. 

“You got a cat?” Lu Han asks Junmyeon, apprehensively eyeing the bright pink cat carrier and wondering if he is about to be judged forever by this new addition to their home. Or if this cat, like every other cat he’s ever met, will also flee from him in abject terror due to his nonexistent but supposedly underlying aura of ‘cat-murderer’. 

“Just picked him up from the shelter,” Junmyeon declares happily, smiling in delight as he juggles all of his cat related shit and tries to toe off his shoes at the same time. 

“Since when did we decide to get a cat?” Lu Han asks, choosing to watch Junmyeon struggle rather than help him out of preemptive spite for the horrible cat-rejection he is about to become victim of. 

“Since I asked you last Friday,” Junmyeon says, finally managing to toe of his shoes. “Plus, you know how much I love cats. I really missed having one.”

“I was drunk out of my mind last Friday,” Lu Han says, frowning at Junmyeon as he carelessly drops the litter on the floor and the carrier jostles a little. Lu Han has the very protective urge to take the carrier from Junmyeon but would rather not have the cat inside go into fits of seizure-like shock before he can attempt to introduce himself in a non-hostile fashion. 

“Which is exactly why I asked you then,” Junmyeon says, flashing him a smile and Lu Han, not for the first time, sincerely questions the ‘nice guy’ reputation Junmyeon lords around like an imperial title. 

“And I told you we could get a fucking cat?” Lu Han asks, feeling that even if he was stone drunk, he wouldn’t have agreed to that. 

“Actually, you babbled about trains for a good ten minutes before rolling off the couch and knocking yourself out on the coffee table,” Junmyeon says, cocking his head at Lu Han as he sets down the cat food. “I took that as your blessing for my proposition.”

“I hate you sometimes,” Lu Han grumbles, finally stepping forward with a sigh and taking the scratching post from Junmyeon before the elder breaks himself, the cat, or puts a hole in the wall. He drops it carelessly on the sofa as Junmyeon shuffles excitedly into the living room. 

“Time to welcome our newest addition to the family!” Junmyeon chirps happily, setting the carrier on the coffee table and opening the door. 

Junmyeon had said that this new cat, just past a year old, was extremely friendly and cuddly, having bounded up to him with instant enthusiasm and joy before nuzzling up to him and being irresistibly adorable. It had been instant love. According to the staff at the shelter, this little ball of fluff was extremely affectionate, though it did have a sassy side and would prance about superfluously on occasion before batting around some of the other cats. 

Junmyeon names his new pet Chen and coos at it as it peeks it’s fluffy little gray head out of the carrier curiously. Chen is very affectionate towards Junmyeon, bounding about after him adorably and rubbing against him at all times while purring violently enough to shake his entire body and be heard from across the room. Chen is basically the cutest damn creature Lu Han has ever seen. 

And Chen couldn’t give two shits that Lu Han exists at all. 

Unlike all of the other cats Lu Han has encountered, Chen doesn’t hiss and spit and flee and claw and run and treat him with absolute terror. No. Lu Han discovers over the next three months that, instead, Chen treats Lu Han as if he isn’t there. And somehow, that is even more torturous. Sure, Chen will shy away at times when Lu Han tries to, in a fit of spontaneous hope, touch Chen. But overall, Chen basically will regard Lu Han with a ‘when did you arrive among the living’ expression and ignore the fuck out of him. 

The only time that Chen even remotely acknowledges Lu Han’s existence in a non-skeptical and disapproving manner is when he decides that Lu Han’s face at 4:30 in the morning is the most comfortable sleeping spot in the entire apartment. Lu Han doesn’t know if this may potentially be a sign of slowly growing acceptance of Lu Han, which no other cat has ever displayed towards him, or if Chen is, in fact, just trying to slowly destroy all of Lu Han’s sanity by sabotaging his sleeping patterns on a nightly basis. 

Lu Han considers that it might not irk him so much if Chen didn't follow around Junmyeon like Junmyeon was the ultimate combination of his mother, his lover, and his fraternal twin. Chen almost seems to relish in squirming as close as he possibly can to Junmyeon, literally squashing himself around his owner as Junmyeon grins in delight. Then Chen will look over at Lu Han’s slightly frowning face with a look that suggests that Chen owns what Lu Han can never have and he should totally go eat shit because he will never be as boss as this little ball of gray sassy fluff. 

“Your cat hates me,” Lu Han says one morning over breakfast as Junmyeon tries to eat a bowl of cereal, drink his coffee, and tie his tie all at once. 

Junmyeon sighs witheringly. “Chen doesn’t hate you,” he says, that obnoxious patronizing tone creeping into his voice. “He sleeps on you, remember? And he doesn't try to claw your hands off when you try to touch him like Lightsaber does.”

“He also acts like I am the litter he shits in,” Lu Han points out as he taps his toes in and out of his house slippers. 

“He just has a personality,” Junmyeon says around his cereal and coffee as his fingers claw with his collar. “You have the morning off, why don’t you try to bond with him? He’s only been here two weeks and you haven’t really made an effort.”

“I haven’t made an ef- What!” Lu Han snaps, abandoning his cereal (he hates cereal anyway) to shoot Junmyeon an agitated look. “Junmyeon-“

“Late for work!” Junmyeon interrupts and flashes him a brilliant smile. “I’ll be back later. Eat without me. I’m grabbing dinner with Sehun again.”

“Would you two just fuck already?” Lu Han says exasperatedly as he dumps his cereal in the sink. “You’re already disgusting as it is. Why not make it officially repulsive and do the nasty?”

“It’s a miracle anyone likes you,” Junmyeon says cheerily before grabbing his briefcase. “I blame your own pent up sexual frustration. Why don’t you take your own snark and shove it up your ass? Then you’d be half getting some.”

“I hate you,” Lu Han says, kicking Junmyeon out of the house. 

“My cat hates you more!” Junmyeon calls joyfully as the door swings shut and Lu Han has a minor moment of flailing in annoyance at his roommate before stalking back into the apartment and flopping down onto the couch. He has a good two hours before he has to get ready for his job at the local bookstore. He grabs the remote and turns on the television. 

Lu Han is halfway through the weather report when there is the faint tinkling of a cat collar and Chen is waltzing into the living room looking like he owns the place. “Hey cat,” Lu Han says, not really expecting a reaction but a small part of him hopes anyway. Chen doesn’t disappoint as he completely ignores Lu Han and instead jumps up on the TV table to climb on top of the TV and drape himself over the screen, smiling in contentment as his tail swishes past Seoul’s current weather conditions. “Hey, Chen, can you stop? I’m trying to-“ Lu Han cuts himself off. Because he’s talking to a cat. As if it’s a real person. 

Well, at least he’s not talking to himself. 

Lu Han decides he might as well try to bond with Chen. He tentatively gets up and walks towards the TV where Chen seems dead to the world in a half-asleep (are cats always asleep or something?) state. He hesitates, watching Chen closely, before reaching out and trying to pat Chen on the head. Chen instantly jerks away and looks up at Lu Han with wide accusatory eyes. “Hi ChenChen,” Lu Han tries to say gently, even adopting one of the simpler names Junmyeon uses on Chen (he figured ChenChen-foobly-woobly-bumber-pants is a bit excessive at the moment). “Mind if I pet you?”

Chen looks like he does mind. A lot. 

Lu Han tries anyway. 

Chen falls off of the television in his attempt to avoid any and all physical contact with Lu Han. Lu Han frowns as he restocks classics and sorts through inventory for the rest of the day and makes cup ramen for dinner after he tried to feed Chen and was met with absolute rejection of his ‘tuna supper surprise.’

A week later in which Lu Han has done nothing but endure Chen and Junmyeon’s ever-growing obsessive relationship, Junmyeon comes home one day carting jjajangmyeon and an overly bright expression. 

“Welcome home, fancy pants. Did you get laid?” Lu Han commemorates himself on his greetings. 

“I’m not allowed to treat my favorite roommate to dinner?” Junmyeon says in mock offense as he sets down the food, eyes immediately darting around for his one true love in feline form. A moment later the tinkling of a collar is heard and Chen comes bounding into the kitchen to his owner and immediately tries to climb Junmyeon’s pants. Junmyeon lets out a shriek of pain as Chen scrambles up him and Lu Han feels a small amount of appreciation for the feline as Junmyeon clearly fights his instincts to shake his pet off his leg violently because that would probably hurt his poor adorable ChenChen-foobly-woobly-bumber-pants. 

“I take it back, I love your cat,” Lu Han says as he watches Chen climb Junmyeon and Junmyeon does a horrible job at hiding how painful those small claws are. 

“Well, I’m glad, because I just got assigned on a two week business trip,” Junmyeon says and Lu Han blanches. 

“You what?!” Lu Han garbles out. 

“I leave tomorrow!” Junmyeon continues happily as if his leaving on a two-week business trip isn’t a big deal. Technically, it isn’t. Junmyeon has been dragged off by his surprisingly successful job many times before to go ship over the globe and act amazing and perfect and appropriate. In fact, the only time Junmyeon drops the perfect person of the year façade is when he is home and he and Lu Han basically are just complete shit to each other. It’s a highly effective relationship in Lu Han’s opinion. 

“Who is going to take care of Chen?” Lu Han asks, feeling the answer creep under his skin before Junmyeon can turn his ridiculously disbelieving eyes on Lu Han and make him feel unnecessarily guilty.

“What do you mean ‘who is going to take care of Chen?’ You are.” 

Lu Han makes a small frantic motion with his hands. Chen is still latched onto Junmyeon’s lapels and looks curiously around before noticing a bug and launching himself from his owner to chase it around the kitchen in rapt hunting instincts. “Why do I have to take care of your stupid cat?”

“Lu Han, Chen is now part of our family too,” Junmyeon says, giving Lu Han a pointed look. 

“What family? We’re roommates!” Lu Han really does hate Junmyeon sometimes.

“That’s like family!” Junmyeon protests back and gives Lu Han a sad, whibbly look. “Lu Han.” 

Lu Han really seriously absolutely hates Junmyeon sometimes. And the times he hates him most is when Junmyeon pulls those horrible sad tears and expressions which always manage to have Lu Han caving because Junmyeon expressing his emotions is the most painful thing to experience. Ever.

Junmyeon is leaving the next day for Guam. Lu Han doesn’t even know what language they speak in Guam. Junmyeon doesn’t either but is completely unconcerned regardless. He’ll probably just charm his way through the goddamn trip anyway. 

Junmyeon leaves Lu Han with a few cat care instructions the next morning and Lu Han spends three hours just watching Chen sleep on his bright blue cat perch trying to figure out how he is going to care of an animal that doesn’t acknowledge that he exists. How is he supposed to comply with number seven of Junmyeon’s list ( _play for three hours for optimal exercise_ ) and number nine ( _cuddle for at least one hour before bed. Because ChenChen gets lonely_ ) if Chen basically treats him like he’s lint. 

Lu Han attempts to fulfill Junmyeon’s list. Chen stares at him in abject skepticism while Lu Han flutters around one of millions of cat toys Junmyeon has filled the apartment with. Lu Han finally gets frustrated and ends up just bapping Chen on the head with the feather toy and finds it relatively amusing though Chen obviously does not and stalks away after about 30 seconds of this treatment to kick cat litter out of his box. 

Lu Han manages to only really do steps #1 through #3 which are ‘feed ChenChen,’ ‘clean ChenChen’s box’ and ‘make sure the sink is full of water before you leave for work because Chen likes to drink from there more than a bowl.’ 

Lu Han wakes up to Chen sleeping on his face at 4:45 in the morning and thinks this may be progress but rules that our when Chen shifts upon being woken up and his back paw leaves a deep scratch in Lu Han’s left cheek. Tao, the sales boy at the bookshop, keeps asking Lu Han if he needs a Band-Aid the entire following day and Lu Han finally concedes gently if just to shut the other up. He walks around with mini-bat man plastered to the left side of his face for the rest of the day and as a severely satisfied Tao flashes him thumbs up periodically.

By the end of day two of Chen either ignoring Lu Han or flat out rejecting his every attempt to interact (choosing instead to knock over nearly every household appliance and shred Lu Han’s sports magazines out of boredom apparently) Lu Han decides that he needs to take a breather and take a walk. Which he does. For two hours and ends up stalking the Cheonggyecheon and musing if all animals ever hate him. 

Though Chen doesn’t so much seem to hate Lu Han so much as take sadistic pleasure in continuously thwarting Lu Han’s attempts to get closer to the cat and attempt to love him by prancing his silly gray sassy self all over the apartment. All over the apartment, except near Lu Han. 

At least pigeons seem okay with Lu Han, seeing as they just fumble over themselves near everyone so he’s not exactly an exception. Though Lu Han doesn’t entirely know if he should be taking consolation in the stupidest bird on the planet being chill with him. 

Lu Han pauses, hands in his pockets and fumbling with loose change, before looking out at the Cheonggyecheon and pausing. He’s mostly close to the beginning, where there is a small area set up where stupid sappy people can walk out, step on some foolish little circle area, and try to throw a coin into a circle in the water a little bit out, making a wish for something like true love or the loss of their virginity before they turn 30. He stares at it for a few moments, turning the change in his pockets over a few times with his fingers, before he makes a sort of definitive snort and stalks forward, dragging the coins from his pocket.

“Ooh, oppa! Are you making a wish?” a girl says as she watches Lu Han stalk forward with determination. 

“Of course I am,” Lu Han says, turning to her and smiling down endearingly. He’s being an asshole but he doesn’t entirely care. It’s fun. “I’m wishing to find my true love today.” 

The girl’s cheeks color instantly and she makes a sort of squeaking sound as her friends all squeal behind her. Lu Han flashes them a dazzling smile before turning and picking out a 100 won coin, frowning slightly and taking aim.

Lu Han purses his lips. I wish Junmyeon’s stupid cat would love me, or something. Or turn human so I can punch him or whatever because I can’t punch a goddamn cat morally. Lu Han takes aim and throws. 

The coin lands in the dead center of the small circle and Lu Han grins in satisfaction, straightening up as the girls behind him all cheer and clap enthusiastically. 

“Oh, Oppa! I hope your wish comes true!” the girl says, slightly breathless as Lu Han turns around and walks away from the Chyeonggyecheon, smiling slightly in satisfaction. 

“So do I,” Lu Han says, flashing her a smile before walking off. He tries not to think about the fact that he has just wished that Junmyeon’s cat would become human. Because that may be admitting that he’s legitimately begun to lose him mind. Over a freaking cat. 

Lu Han goes to sleep after collapsing into bed with a huff and half wrapped in his blankets, burying his head into his pillows and sneezing as he inhales cat hair. 

Lu Han wakes up entirely too warm. Which is unusual, because Lu Han is usually comfortable in most temperatures and often rarely actually wraps himself in blankets enough to warrant such discomfort. But he is far too warm. And he can’t really move properly and it feels like the vast majority of his body has gone numb. 

Lu Han tries to move, and realizes there is something very large and very heavy currently lying on his face. Lu Han would usually find this unsurprising, considering Chen seems to love sleeping on Lu Han’s face. But this morning, there is no itchy fur covering Lu Han’s face. Instead, it feels horribly like skin. Bare human skin. 

On Lu Han’s face. 

Lu Han does a very good job and not freaking out as he takes the hand not numb and reaches up tentatively to touch whatever is lying on top of him. Yep, that’s skin. And it’s warm. And breathing. And human. 

Lu Han’s throat may currently be host to his heart pounding like a jackhammer but he does consider that he has woken up to stranger things before. Like that one time he woke up saran wrapped to a pool chair wearing a Mexican hat and shaving cream in the middle of an elementary school playground in university. Waking up to a warm body sprawled on top of him is not uncommon. It’s just that usually Lu Han can remember who it is. Or Lu Han can’t and the pounding headache and boiling nausea explain that part for him. 

But Lu Han isn’t hung over beyond reason. And Lu Han is entirely sure he went to sleep last night alone in his own bed brooding about Chen the gray rejecting cat. So there’s really not a great explanation for the current human sprawled on top of him. Lu Han quells the panic in his throat and tries to push the other person off of himself so he can hopefully get up and call the police. Or bolt. Both seem like really appealing options at the moment. 

The other human shifts and lets out a sort of mewl, stretching on Lu Han and Lu Han realizes, with a jolt as certain parts brush, that the other human is completely naked. And a man. 

Lu Han briefly contemplates if he’s been drugged. 

The other man seems to be waking up though, as he shifts and ends up rolling off of Lu Han enough that Lu Han can drag the dead weight of his numbed limbs away and try to regain feeling in them. It will be painful but probably necessary if he wants to be able to sprint from the room and not fall into a heap on the floor when his entire left side is asleep. He takes the interim time to look at who was asleep on him and freezes. 

The man, whoever he is, is entirely naked and is, in all honesty, excessively hot. Smooth thin bodylines that all curve and dip in physical perfection. Lu Han doesn’t think he’s ever really seen someone with such a long back that dips down in small curved hips, and glorious ass, and then the longest and thinnest and smoothest legs he’s really seen. And Lu Han has seen a lot of really impressive bodies. But nothing quite compares to this. The stranger is turned away from him, head, topped with messy black hair, is buried into Lu Han’s comforter in a strangely cute fashion for how goddamn sexual his body is. 

Lu Han isn’t quite as panicked about the other being in his bed anymore, but that is largely due to how attractive the other is. And he is still mostly trying to fight back hysteria. 

Lu Han’s left side begins to burn as his circulation returns and he shifts to get out of bed, jostling the nameless person on his bed. The man lets out a long whining sound that is entirely sexual sounding and Lu Han actually has to swallow around the lump in his throat as he stretches with as much luxury as his body has which, as it turns out, is a lot. 

Lu Han doesn’t really need this at 6 AM when he’s having a very controlled panic attack. The very logical part of Lu Han’s brain tells him to get out of bed, go to the phone, call the police and report a random naked man in his bed. He briefly contemplates how that conversation will go before he decides he can bear the embarrassment and tries to get from bed. 

The naked man rolls over as soon as Lu Han moves and proceeds to wrap himself around Lu Han, who lets out a sort of horrible strangled cry because naked and his resolve snaps as he flails, trying to pry himself from the bed. This seems to startle the other as he is immediately released and man is suddenly clambering over him quickly before apparently having some difficulty and tumbling to the floor with a loud surprised cry. Lu Han, back pressed against the wall next to his bed and breathing heavily, takes a few moments to try to keep from screaming and then peeks over the edge of the bed. 

The naked man seems to be having a lot of trouble with reality, as he is staring in shock at himself and his hands and can’t seem to comprehend how to use his arms and legs. “Um,” Lu Han coughs out and the other looks up at him sharply. His eyes are bright gold and Lu Han’s own widen in shock. He swallows. “Are you okay?”

“Why does the weird one always insist on talking to me?” the stranger says, voice soft and pleasant despite how harsh the words are. “Honestly, if you’re not going to answer me when I say something, I don’t get why you keep trying.”

Lu Han blinks. “Excuse me?” he says and the man cocks his head to the side. His eyes are flecked with dark brown. “What did you just say?”

“Can it understand me?” the stranger continues, looking confused. “That’s weird. I would have though me calling you a lady whore every day for the past week would have elicited some response. Not this.”

“Past wee- what?” Lu Han is very confused and feeling a lot of panic. What is this strange naked attractive man talking about? “Why are you in my house and naked and _in my house_?” 

“Honestly, talking like I don’t live here too,” the stranger says and frowns, shifting on the floor. “As if you haven’t been trying to get me to like you since Junmyeon brought me home. Crazy human.”

Lu Han has to be having an out of body experience. Because, if he lets himself think like this is a real thing happening in real life, this man in front of him is suggesting that he is, in fact, Junmyeon’s cat, Chen. Turned man-thing. “What’s your name?” Lu Han asks, feeling the world spin. 

“Chen,” the stranger says and looks at Lu Han in boredom. “Though the one who feeds me likes to call me a lot of really humiliating names. Like ChenChen-foobly–woobly-bumber-pants or whatever. At least you usually call me by my name. Or sometimes cat. Do you know how degrading it is to just be called cat?”

Lu Han starts laughing and it turns hysterical within moments. Because he’s probably just gone crazy. It sounds desperate on his own ears and the stranger, self proclaimed once-cat Chen, looks at him in shock and Lu Han finally notices the thin band cutting into his neck. 

It’s the cat collar Junmyeon had bought Chen after the first day with the name tag clearly displaying the name CHEN in engraved curly letters exactly like the one the gray tom wears around proudly. Lu Han passes out from lack of oxygen as he hyperventilates into oblivion. 

Lu Han wakes up to Chen the cat-human patting him in the face with a hesitant but curious hand. Lu Han completely rationalizes his frantic flailing trying to get Chen the cat-human to get the fuck away from him as he hyperventilates the still complete lack of clothing on the other. Lu Han throws himself from the room and barrels into the living room, where he begins frantically pacing and rambling to himself about losing his mind and having horrible dreams that he can’t wake up from. 

“Oh my God, this is _Inception_!” Lu Han yells, stopping in the middle of the living room and staring in shocked horror at the television, hands buried dramatically in his hair. There is a loud thump from behind him followed by a groan and Lu Han spins around, fingers clutching at his skull as he looks at Chen as the other attempts to pick himself up from the floor where he’s collapsed, ass in the air, and looking very perturbed. “And you’re still naked. Oh Jesus pissing.” Lu Han suddenly pauses, frowning as he looks at Chen the cat-human as Chen tries to reorient himself. “But if this is _Inception_ , then I can totally be justified with treating this like it’s okay. And if that case it’s totally fine to find you super hot.” He lets out a triumphant laugh. “Now your naked makes sense!”

“I’ve always been naked,” Chen says, frowning as he pushes himself up. “You’re the weird humans who wear things to cover up your stupid lack of fur.”

“Fuck, if I’m dreaming, I don’t give a shit,” Lu Han grumbles, shuffling past Chen to his room as Chen tries to figure out his limbs, dragging his sleep shirt over his head and throwing it on the bed, quickly followed by his pants until he is just as naked as Chen. He wanders back into the living room where Chen is hobbling around oddly on his hands and feet, bum high in the air as he tries to walk on all fours. “What are you doing?”

“I refuse to reduce myself to your level of impractical ambulance,” Chen says, giving Lu Han a patronizing look. 

“You’re just waving your ass around,” Lu Han says, reaching forward and smacking aforementioned body part and earning him a loud squeak as Chen falls to the ground and rolls away. 

“Oh my Cat, you hit me!” Chen says, eyes wide as he scuttles backwards on the ground as what looks a lot like tears pool in his eyes. “You actually hit me!”

“What, have you never been hit before?” Lu Han asks, stretching lazily as he looks at Chen curiously. 

“No!” Chen says and looks aghast at the though. “No one has ever hit me. Are you crazy?”

“Nope, I’m in _Inception_!” Lu Han says happily, laughing as he lunges for Chen, continuing to laugh as Chen scrambles away frantically, eyes wild as Lu Han wraps himself around the smaller male. “Dude, if you’ve never been in a fight, you don’t know what you’re missing!”

“Oh my Cat, get away!” Chen wheezes out. “You’re touching too much! Did anyone ever teach you how to pet? Oh Holy Mother of Felines!”

“Of course I know how to pet!” Lu Han says, grabbing at Chen’s flailing arms. Fuck dreams are realistic when you’re in Inception mode. “I’m awesome at petting!”

Chen suddenly jerks to glare at him. “Your version of petting is to smush your hand on my head and rub back and forth vigorously. That isn’t petting. That’s abuse. I don’t like you petting me! No one wants to be pet when you jab your hand at them like you’re going to ram it into their face.”

“Who says I’m going to pet your face?” Lu Han asks, looking up as Chen manages to scramble away from him and flings himself over the couch, watching him warily from behind the pillows. Lu Han grins. “People don’t pet people on the face.”

“Humans are weird,” Chen says. “They’re repulsive.”

“You’re a human,” Lu Han points out, picking himself up slightly and watching Chen curiously. 

“I refuse to accept this horrifying fact,” Chen says before doing his strange four-legged walk to the kitchen. Lu Han gets up and follows him, watching in amusement as Chen stares at the litter box and frowns. “It’s a lot smaller.”

Lu Han barks out a laugh. “You’re not actually going to- _Oh my God_!” Lu Han nearly trips backwards as Chen tries to clamber into the litter box and squat down. “What are you doing?!”

Chen glares at him from his spot in the cat box. “What does it look like? Would you mind? This is kind of private. I don’t stare at you while you take a dump.”

“Yes, you do!” Lu Han yells, brandishing a finger at Chen as the other continues to frown slightly. “You stare at me creepily from the sink while I take a piss every morning!”

“You talk to your genitals,” Chen says flatly. “I find it weird.” Lu Han sputters incoherently as Chen shifts in the litter. “Seriously, please go away?”

“You’re not actu- oh my – no!” Lu Han sputters before lurching forward and grabbing Chen by the arm and dragging him to his feet. Chen squawks indignantly and starts protesting a lot of hissing and spitting sounds, fumbling over his feet as Lu Han drags him to the bathroom and shoves him inside, gesturing violently to the toilet. “I don't care if this is inception. I am not watching you take a shit in a litter box.”

Chen looks at the toilet. Chen looks at Lu Han. Chen looks back at the toilet. Chen frowns at Lu Han and stares at him. “I don’t understand.”

“You use the toilet for when you have to take a shit,” Lu Han says, frowning back at Chen. “Or a piss. Or other gross crap. I don’t know, just no litter boxes.”

“No, I get that,” Chen says exasperatedly as if Lu Han is the dumbest being on the planet. “I’m saying I don’t know how to use this.”

“You-“ Lu Han gapes at air. “I- You and- This is why I never want children!” Lu Han ends up yelling. 

“You contemplate reproduction?” Chen says, giving him a skeptical look. “Well, you do have good genes and are probably a good mate.”

“This dream is weird even for me,” Lu Han grumbles. “Can I manipulate it?” Lu Han presses his hand to the walls and tries to shove his hand through. “Nope. I guess I can’t manipulate my own dream.” He turns to Chen. “I am an awesome mate, what do you know.”

Chen gives his nether regions a very evaluating look, head cocked to the side and Lu Han flushes, suddenly very aware of the other’s gaze “Hey, eyes off. I’m not staring at your junk.”

“Why not?” Chen asks as if it’s the simplest thing in the word and Lu Han chokes on air. “I’m not shy. Well, except about pooping. Speaking of which-“

“There!” Lu Han blurts out, pointing frantically to the toilet while angling himself so he is partially hidden from Chen. “You sit there and do your thing and then wipe your bum with that.” He jabs a finger at the toilet paper. “Then you push that lever and it goes away.”

“You humans make things really complicated, you know that,” Chen says, raising an eyebrow at Lu Han before moving over to poke at the toilet. He looks back up when Lu Han hasn’t moved. “Can you go now?”

“No,” Lu Han snaps out. “You might break it.”

Chen rolls his eyes. “I won’t break it,” he drawls, huffing and rolling his shoulders in a horribly feline manner.

“This is a dream! I don’t know what will happen!” Lu Han yells in protest. “Maybe everything will suddenly start blowing up.”

“Why do you keep saying this is a dream?” Chen grumbles, finally sitting down on the toilet and looking unbalanced. “It’s not a dream.”

“Ha!” Lu Han says, pointing at Chen. “You would only say something like that if this was a dream.”

Chen blinks at him. Lu Han vaguely notes that the gold in his eyes has faded into half brown. Though it is sill very visible. “You’re insane, aren’t you. Oh my Cats, you have rabies!”

“I don’t have rabies!” Lu Han protests, sputtering and frowning at Chen as the other nearly falls off the toilet and starts making frantic scrambling motions away. “I am asojdpaih-“ Lu Han doesn’t really get to finish as Chen has found the plunger and proceeds to beat him with it and therefore out of the bathroom, slamming the door shut a moment later, locking Lu Han out. 

As Lu Han lies sprawled on the floor in a tangle of limbs with a toilet plunger suctioned to his chest, feeling pain flare up from his ass from falling, he considers that perhaps this isn’t Inception and that he is, in fact, awake and this is just a living nightmare. “Oh my God, how did this happen?!” he yells as panic slams into him like a Bull.

“I don't know! Did you get bitten by any bats recently?” Chen yells from the bathroom. “The talking box was saying stuff about them the other day! How much of this fluffy paper stuff do I take?”

Lu Han has a brief moment of contemplation before he pulls the plunger off of his chest and chucks it at the door, scrambling from the floor and sprinting into his bedroom and diving into his bed. Wrapping himself in his blankets and wishing all of this away. He doesn’t know how long he stays there, wrapped in his blankets and trying to regulate his breathing, but he freezes when he feels a gentle pressure on the side of his bed, eyes snapping open. The pressure increases and he flings the blankets off, startling Chen to roll into a heap on the floor. “No!” 

Chen looks at him in relative shock from the floor. “What?”

“No people on my bed!” Lu Han snaps out from his blankets, burrowing into them again so he doesn’t have to look at the nude specimen on his floor. One can only look at someone unabashedly naked for so long before it becomes compromising. Especially when they look like Chen. Which is, in short, good. “Only I get to be on my bed.”

“What?” Chen laughs out. “But you let me on your bed before!” he protests, as he pouts on the carpet in a mess of limbs and naked body parts.

“You were a cat then,” Lu Han bites, glowering amid his sheets. “That was different.”

“I don't understand,” Chen says as he tries to roll so he’s not looking at Lu Han awkwardly from between his ankles. 

“No one is allowed on my bed except me,” Lu Han says flatly and sniffs superiorly as if this confirms the argument. 

“I sleep on your face,” Chen points out with a raised eyebrow as he moves to lounge on the floor, eyes trained on Lu Han as his head cocks to the side in a disturbingly feline fashion.

“Yeah, why do you do that exactly?” Lu Han asks, poking his head out and watching as Chen stretches on the floor, his body moving in a horrifically pleasing manner that just has Lu Han’s eyes sweeping over it entirely inappropriately. Oops. “I’ve been meaning to ask you that but until now, you’ve been a cat, making that relatively problematic.”

Chen studies him for a while, gold-brown eyes unblinking as they look at Lu Han in a very calculating fashion. Lu Han shifts uncomfortably, trying to look only at Chen’s upper half. “Junmyeon snores,” Chen finally says and Lu Han feels this is high anticlimactic for all the dramatic tension Chen has been building. 

“Seriously?” Lu Han deadpans, trying to beat down the disappointment that crawls up his chest. He had, somewhere, deep down inside, hoped that Chen sleeping on him been a sort of subtle hint that Chen didn't hate him. But, apparently, he has been gravely mistaken. “You sleep on my face because Junmyeon snores?”

“You sounds so disappointed,” Chen says flippantly, spayed on the floor as if lying on the floor in the nude is completely natural behavior. Though, technically, for Chen, it is. “What, were you hoping I had some sort of fetish for sleeping on faces? I’m a cat. You face is warm and nice. I sleep on it. End of story.” He cocks his head to the side. “I mean, I could sleep on your crotch. Would you prefer that?”

Lu Han spits sounds at that mental image and tries to rationalize vocabulary. 

“Apparently not,” Chen says, frowning slightly. 

“You are the most shameless being I’ve ever encountered,” Lu Han says, watching Chen extend his arms over his head and arch his back in a luxurious stretch that is entirely sexualized. 

Chen looks at him skeptically. “I am a cat. Cats don’t feel shame. We feel judgment and superiority. That’s how it works.” 

“Well, right now, you’re human, so I demand you put on pants,” Lu Han snaps, shuffling among his blankets and pointedly ignoring the flush that is probably blatant on his cheeks. 

Chen frowns at him. “Pants?”

“Yes, pants,” Lu Han says flatly, frowning at Chen as the other looks impossibly perturbed. “You wear them over your junk so it doesn’t stare at other people.”

Chen raises an eyebrow. “Are you referring to my genitals?” 

“Put on pants now,” Lu Han spits from his blanket nest, trying to ignore the heat that has accumulated in his blankets and failing miserably. “Before I make you.”

Chen gives him a skeptical look. “You’re going to make me put on pants?”

“I will staple them to you,” Lu Han says tonelessly. 

“I don’t want to put on your stupid human things,” Chen says petulantly. 

“Put on clothing or I’ll pet you!” Lu Han snaps, feeling his skin itch as Chen’s body tenses. 

“I don’t even know how to-“

“I will pet you!” Lu Han yells from the bed and Chen scrambles up and back. 

“No!” Chen yells back and looks a bit frantic. 

“Pants or petting!” Lu Han threatens. 

“I don-“

“Petting it is then!” Lu Han bellows, launching himself from the bed towards Chen who nearly flies off the floor in his attempt to escape Lu Han, Lu Han at least manages to grab a stray pair of boxers and haul them on himself before snatching another pair and barreling at Chen. “All the pets for you, ChenChen-foobly-woobly-bumber-pants!”

“I hate that name!” Chen screeches as he ducks behind the couch and out of Lu Han’s reach, dodging the taller and scampering towards the kitchen. “It’s worse than when you just call me ‘cat’!”

“You are-were- a cat!” Lu Han yells, thundering after Chen and tripping over his own feet. Damn this cat-human is spry. “Why wouldn’t I call you cat?”

“Would you like it if I called you human?” Chen snaps, scampering behind the kitchen counter and feigning around Lu Han, glowering. “Rather than Lu Han? I can just call you ‘human’ all the time.”

“I thought you called me ‘lady whore’,” Lu Han bites, trying to grab Chen and failing. 

“Only sometimes,” Chen says, frowning and backing up, pausing for a moment as he looks at Lu Han. “Most of the time I just call you Lu Han. But you never respond to it.”

“I don’t speak cat,” Lu Han points out. 

“Well, then you’re clearly dumb,” Chen says, shrugging. 

Lu Han sputters. “I am not!” he spits out. “You don’t wear pants!”

“Cat!” Chen snaps, glaring.

“Human!” Lu Han retorts, brandishing the boxers at Chen. 

“No, that would be you,” Chen says before suddenly darting around the counter and trying to bolt past Lu Han. Lu Han thanks his years of soccer obsession and athleticism as his reflexes act for him and he latches out, catching Chen around the middle and bringing them both to the ground with a loud grunting crash. Lu Han is breathing heavily, having been chasing Chen around the vast majority of the apartment. Chen’s body heaves under him, the smaller trying to writhe out of his grip and Lu Han clamps down, smushing him into the floor and eliciting a muffled whine. Still panting slightly, Lu Han looks up, finally raising his head from where it was mostly pressed aggressively into Chen’s right shoulder and looks down at Chen, who seems to have finally stilled under him. 

Chen looks back, eyes flecked with gold as he looks up at Lu Han from the floor, mouth parted just slightly as air passes between lips quickly and Lu Han realizes belatedly just how much of them is touching. It’s suddenly very warm. Chen’s breaths are quick against Lu Han’s face as he looks at him, eyes guarded as his body remains relatively frozen on the floor under Lu Han. Lu Han swallows, trying to ignore how soft Chen’s skin is, or how pink his lips are, or how there is a faint blush against his cheeks. Lu Han tries to ignore that he is currently lying on top of a very attractive naked man. 

Lu Han doesn’t do a very good job. 

“You really, um, should,” Lu Han tries to figure out proper words through the mess of syllables rolling around in his brain. “Pants.”

“Don’t pet me,” Chen says and his voice is horrifically breathless as it leaves his throat. Lu Han feels heat spike up his spine. He resists the extremely strong urge to smack himself because he is currently having very compromising reactions to what was, twelve hours ago, a cat. An extremely sassy, stuck up, and hateful of Lu Han cat. 

That slept on his face nightly to cause maximum cerebral trauma and discomfort. 

“Don’t make me pet you,” Lu Han growls out and presses himself harder into Chen, earning a grunt. “If you don't put on pants, I will pet you. And you know, you may even like it.”

Chen suddenly bucks up, throwing his entire body weight against Lu Han and nearly throwing the larger man off. It is only out of sheer reactive instinct that Lu Han keeps Chen pinned, shoving him back into the floor with another grunt. Chen glowers up at Lu Han, gold flashing in his irises and catching Lu Han slightly off guard. “Get off.”

“Pants,” Lu Han grinds out from clenched teeth as Chen writhes under him. Lu Han grits his teeth harder, because with the way Chen is currently pressing insistently under him-

Chen freezes and Lu Han swallows. Chen looks back at Lu Han, eyes suddenly wide and surprised. Lu Han tries to keep his face impassive, focusing on stern, looking down at Chen. 

Chen cocks his head to the side, looking up at Lu Han with a faint curiosity. “Are you in heat?”

Lu Han can only describe the sound he makes as ‘partially strangled and high donkey wheezing.’ Chen just looks more intrigued under him as Lu Han battles the reality that he is currently developing an erection because of a naked cat-human-man on the floor under him. 

“Is this normal for humans?” Chan asks, wriggling under him and Lu Han bites his tongue to try to fight back his body’s response. “Do I have to worry about developing this too?”

“I don’t know,” Lu Han snaps out, shoving Chen back to the carpet. He may be developing a hard on, but he’ll be damned if he let’s Chen get away without pants. He does not need that right now. “Do you want to fuck other male cats?”

“I can’t reproduce with other male cats,” Chen says easily as he observes Lu Han, eyes turning slightly wary as he watches Lu Han glare down at him. “Why? Do you want to mate with other male humans?” Lu Han presses his mouth together pointedly and Chen’s eyes fly wide. “No!” Chen bellows, suddenly surging to life under him with renewed energy and vigor, nearly throwing Lu Han off again as he begins to fight tooth and nail to get away. 

“What!?” Lu Han yells, trying to pin down Chen as the other scrambles for his life. 

“You’re going to try to mate with me!” Chen screeches and nearly rips out his fingernails as he tries to claw away from Lu Han, jerking his hips upward repeatedly as he tries to buck Lu Han off. It does not help matters. “Oh my God, this is so wrong!”

“I am no-“ Lu Han tries to snap out but Chen elbows him in the jaw, sending his head snapping to the side. “Ow! Goddam- I am not-“ Chen whaps him in the head a few times and Lu Han groans, face now planted in Chen’s lower chest as the smaller roils under him. “Would you-“

“No!” Chen screeches out giving an almighty heave and finally succeeding in tossing Lu Han from him and scrambling a second later to his feet and flying from him, nearly slamming into a wall in his haste before hurtling into Junmyeon’s room and slamming the door closed. 

“I was not trying to mate with you!” Lu Han yells from where he has been left sprawled on the floor. 

“I knew humans were sick disgusting creatures!” Chen yells, slightly muffled from the other side of Junmyeon’s door. “Why do I have to be in this hideous body?”

Lu Han bites his lip, still in a tangle of limbs on the floor, before pushing himself up slightly. “If it helps, I think you look plenty attractive.”

Lu Han smirks at the strangled scream Chen emits from Junmyeon’s room. 

At least one perk from Chen suddenly embodying human form is that Lu Han can at least enjoy bothering Chen now instead of just trying to figure why Chen seems to hate him. 

The first day of Chen being a human, Lu Han spends the morning going about his normal routine, glancing towards Junmyeon’s room occasionally as he prepares for work. He leaves with a knock to the closed door and a gentle reminder that Chen can help himself to food in the fridge. 

Chen seems to throw something at the door. Lu Han translates this to mean he understands and leaves for the day. 

The bookstore Lu Han works in seems impossibly normal after the morning Lu Han had and he keeps expecting Tao to randomly sprout a snuffly nose and a tail at any moment. Just to prove that Lu Han is, in fact, losing his mind. Tao doesn’t. Instead, Tao keeps asking if Lu Han is okay and checking his temperature repeatedly until Lu Han finally bats him away with a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey, spitting horribly ridiculous porn at the younger boy. Tao wisely avoids him after this, though he does continuously shoot worried looks at his elder. 

Lu Han comes home to none but the living room light on, clothing everywhere, and Chen curled in a heap on the couch in a pile of Junmyeon’s socks, shirts, and wearing a ridiculous assortment of clothing. There are cans of cat food scattered everywhere.

“Well, at least you put on clothing,” Lu Han comments as he steps over a pile of seat cushions. 

“Back!” Chen yells, chucking some of the socks he’s nestled in at Lu Han. “You stay away from me with you strange mating notions.” He glowers from his spot, arching his back and looking so impossibly feline Lu Han has to blink a few times. 

“How was your day?” Lu Han asks, smiling at Chen instead of answering him. He figures it’s easier to completely ignore the fact that Chen is wearing Lu Han’s boxers (finally) and one of Junmyeon’s heinous sweaters. “Did you eat anything?” Chen eyes him warily. Lu Han huffs. “I’m not going to rush you, calm down.”

Chen straightens himself indignantly. “I am calm,” he rebukes and looks down his nose imperiously at Lu Han. Lu Han watches him for a moment before jerking as if to run at Chen, sending the other scrambling backwards and falling over himself, letting out a loud yelp. Lu Han snorts into laughter as Chen flails and gets tangled in a random pair of pants. 

“Yeah, calm,” Lu Han says, still chuckling as he moves to the kitchen. “Why is there cat food everywhere?”

“I couldn’t open it,” Chen says from amid his piles of clothing. 

Lu Han pauses, about to open the fridge. “You were going to eat cat food?”

Chen scowls at him. “What else was I going to eat?” he pouts, face scrunching up in an oddly cute way. 

Lu Han shakes his head, tugging open the fridge and peering inside. Junmyeon at least left a few things before Lu Han starves. He figures he’ll last about three days if he splits it between himself and Chen before he has to either cook or order out. “Real people food?” Lu Han calls as he drags out a few ingredients. “I don’t know, I wouldn’t eat cat food.” He turns and sees Chen watching him grumpily from the couch. “Hungry?”

Chen huffs at him before curling back into his blankets, pointedly ignoring him. Lu Han stares, frowning, before taking a breath and setting the ingredients for jiggae down on the counter. Chen ignored him as a cat, Chen ignores him as a human. Lu Han can just ignore him right back until Chen decides that communicating is something he can abide with. Especially considering Lu Han would bet money that Chen hasn't eaten since he grudgingly ate the _Chicken Dinner Fiesta_ last night out of his dish. 

Lu Han hums as he cooks the simple meal, a small tune that had been playing in the bookshop all day. Chen remains unmoving on the couch, just in view, and Lu Han glances up every now and then before going back to his work. After a half hour, the rice cooker beeps and Lu Han turns off the stove. He serves himself and sets down at the kitchen table, placing a few side dishes around and setting in to eat. He looks up at Chen and is met with unblinking brown-gold eyes staring at him from the couch. 

“Hungry?” Lu Han asks, raising his eyebrows as he speaks around his spoon. Chen lets out a small snort and then rolls back into himself, lithe form curving elegantly despite the haphazard position. Lu Han chews briefly, spoon resting against his lips as he watches Chen. “Guess not,” he says cheerfully before digging in once more. Chen doesn’t move from his place on the couch at all as Lu Han finishes eating, half watching him and half looking around the apartment lazily. After dinner, Lu Han washes up briefly then flops down in his favorite chair and turns on the television, switching to the sports channel. Chen doesn’t move as Lu Han half watches the programs and absently fiddles with a Rubik’s cube. 

At ten thirty, Lu Han turns off the television and saunters to the bathroom, briefly washing up before going to his room and changing into his sleep things, crawling into bed and switching off the light. He doesn’t say a word to Chen, just ignores him as much as the cat, well, human now, has done to him since he moved into the apartment. Lu Han drifts to sleep thinking of gold-brown eyes and a delicate mouth and wondering if he’ll wake up to a cat or a human in the morning. 

Lu Han wakes up to an unfamiliar warmth and weight pressing against his side and, after a moment of confusion, his brain registers that he is not alone in bed and he acts accordingly. He lashes out with every limb he has and essentially beats the intruder off his bed. The foreign creature lets out a loud yelp as Lu Han smacks and kicks them off his bed, finally being propelled to the floor in a loud thump and a groan. “No one on my bed but me!” Lu Han yells, leaning over the edge of his bed to glare at the tangle of human that is Chen, still wearing the boxers and horrible sweater. “I don’t share!”

“It’s not like I wanted to sleep with you anyway,” Chen huffs, dragging himself up proudly and pointedly not looking at Lu Han as he straightens himself primly. 

Lu Han sputters for a moment before hurling at pillow at Chen. Chen does not duck in time and it flumps into him roughly, sending him staggering back a few feet. “Why were you sleeping on my bed if you didn’t want to sleep there?” Lu Han snaps, frowning as he registers that it is once more two hours before the time he usually drags himself out of bed. 

Chen shakes himself slightly, looking as uninterested as he probably can and setting his shoulders lazily. Lu Han stares at him, waiting for an answer for a while and watching Chen carefully. Chen shifts his stance before looking down and studying his hands as they flex before him. He glances at Lu Han, eyes unblinking, before tossing his head and walking lazily from the room. “There was a draft in the main room,” he says as he exits and Lu Han, after a moment, flumps head first into his bedspread and groans. 

Of course Chen as a human would be just as impossible and as much of a diva as when he was a cat. 

Chen spends the morning following Lu Han around curiously while acting as disinterested and uninvolved as possible every time Lu Han turns to look at him, instead pretending as if he wasn’t even remotely interested in Lu Han in the first place. Lu Han finds himself smirking to himself as he catches Chen watching avidly as he fixes breakfast and operates the coffee pot. He also catches Chen watching him keenly as he finishes his shower and goes through his morning routine in mostly a towel. Chen fiddles with Junmyeon’s scattered shoes to appear distracted when Lu Han turns towards him sharply. 

“Do you want some breakfast?” Lu Han asks over his coffee as he looks towards Chen, now seated on the floor and trying on Junmyeon’s various hats as he watches Lu Han put away things in the kitchen. Chen looks quickly out the living room window and stares, pointedly ignoring Lu Han. Lu Han snuffs into his coffee before placing it on the counter and picking up the litter box. Thankfully there isn’t anything in it, but Lu Han wants to make sure. He wanders off to his room and shoves it on the top shelf of his closet, on top of a few boxes full of sports gear. He returns to the main room, passing Chen and ruffling his hair. Chen bats at him frantically as he passes and makes a variety of agitated snuffling sounds, earning him a stupid grin from Lu Han before the elder grabs his keys and leaves with a cheery “Be back by dinner!” and slamming the door closed. 

Tao hovers around Lu Han for most of the day, asking if Lu Han is feeling better and whispering in excitement about the new guy who looks constantly on the verge of entering a REM cycle. Lu Han only half pays attention to him, instead focusing on reshelving and keeping the high school delinquents from spitting their gum into the magazines. The new kid dozes off in the science fiction section three times and Tao snuffles his laughter into his hands.

Lu Han returns home, feeling tired and hoping to never see another copy of Harry Potter in his life, and immediately trips over one of Junmyeon’s potted plants, suddenly situated in the front hall and tipped on it’s side. Lu Han is successful in keeping himself from falling but not so much in keeping the shocked sound in his throat as he tries to take in the current appearance of the house. It’s in complete chaos. He manages to pick and step his way through what seems like every object in the house before finally arriving at the living room. 

Chen is seated in Lu Han’s usual armchair, knees drawn to his chest, as he pokes through a pile of spoons in his lap. He is nestled again in a pile of clothing and blankets and barely looks up when Lu Han walks into the room. 

Lu Han takes a breath, trying to keep himself from having a mild panic attack at how completely torn apart the apartment is. “Um, what did you do?” he asks. He thinks this is a valid question.

“What do you use these for?” Chen asks, frowning at the pile of silverware. “I mean, I see you and Junmyeon use them a lot but don’t understand how they work.” He looks up at Lu Han and cocks his head to the side. 

Lu Han pauses, swallowing down his annoyance and the horrible crawl at how unsanitary the entire apartment is. “We use them to eat,” Lu Han says, keeping his voice even as he stares at Chen and ignores that the curtains have been ripped down and are lying on the television. 

“Really,” Chen says and looks back down at the spoons, frowning. Lu Han shuffles over, picking up a few items and trying to figure out where to start with the absolute disaster. Chen looks up at him, holding a spoon purposefully in each hand. “Feed me,” he demands, looking up at Lu Han sternly. 

Lu Han stares at him. “What?”

“I want food,” Chen suddenly whines, voice rising loudly and he shakes the spoons at Lu Han, his entire form shaking along with his wildly gesturing hands. “Feed me, now!”

“I just-“ Lu Han begins to say but then stops himself, frowning. “No, get your own food.” He turns, dropping the items he picked up and slouching to the kitchen. It’s been too long of a day and he just wants dinner and to go to bed. Fuck the house. Fuck the cat human.

“I can’t!” Chen whines, suddenly scrambling from the chair and tripping over his mass of things, legs still uncoordinated as he tries to hurry after Lu Han. “I can’t open my food! And everything else is weird! Feed me! Feed me, now!”

Lu Han does his best to ignore the obnoxious sounds of Chen following him into the kitchen but nearly careens into the fridge when Chen slams into him, wrapping his arms around Lu Han and dragging them both to the floor. 

“Hungry!” Chen mumbles into Lu Han’s back and Lu Han does his best not to slam his elbow into Chen reflexively.

“Get off,” Lu Han says, trying to pull himself from the floor, which is covered in chip bags and abandoned shrimp puffs. 

“Hungry~” Chen whines, wriggling impossibly against Lu Han and nuzzling his face into Lu Han’s back. 

“Get! Off!” Lu Han all but yells and manages to fling himself from Chen, scrambling to the other side of the kitchen and slipping over snacks. Chen, startled by the yelling, has scrambled back, eyes wide as he looks at Lu Han and Lu Han tries to calm his breathing. “What the fuck did you do to the house?” Lu Han yells before he can stop himself. “Honestly, what the fuck? It’s chaos!”

Chan seems to shrink back, curling into himself, looking at Lu Han in shock, as if he’s never heard a loud sound in his life. Which Lu Han knows is a lie because Junmyeon isn’t exactly quiet with his revolving door of hookups. Lu Han sighs. “Okay, look,” he says, trying to breathe through his nose. “I’ll make you a deal. You clean up the house, and I’ll feed you.”

Chen cocks his head to the house. “Clean up what?”

Lu Han snorts through his nose in agitation. “The house. Put everything back that you messed up.”

Chen doesn’t blink. It’s really disconcerting. Especially with the speckles of gold still present in his eyes. “It looks better this way though,” he says.

“Clean or no food!” Lu Han says firmly, standing and crossing his arms. Chen hesitates for maybe a fraction of a second before lazily getting up himself, throwing a strange look at Lu Han and sauntering from the kitchen. Lu Han watches him, feeling his heart hammering in his chest and trying to quell the panic and agitation racing over his limbs. 

Lu Han is just turning to the fridge, praying that it, at least, as been left alone, when Chen suddenly sticks his head back into the kitchen. “And then food, right?”

“Yes! Then food!” Lu Han snaps, starting and nearly falling into the milk. Chen seems pleased with this as he scampers the next moment from the kitchen and out of sight, leaving Lu Han to breathe like a winded buffalo at the vegetables. Lu Han sets about trying to make mapo dofu. This is a very simple dish, considering the vast majority of it comes from a sauce packet. He makes a lot of noise in the kitchen (which is hard to do, considering the most difficult thing he has to do is brown meat and cut up tofu) to try to distract himself from the loud bangs and thumps emitting from the rest of the house. Chen sticks his head in a few times, sniffing curiously and eyes wide as he watches Lu Han cook before Lu Han shoos him away with a glare. 

Just about when the rice beeps it’s completion, Chen comes racing into the kitchen, faint jingling of the bell of his collar still around his neck little warming before he skids to the floor, slamming into Lu Han again and babbling about ‘food’, ‘hungry,’ and ‘feeding’ as he latches onto Lu Han and nuzzles vigorously against Lu Han’s right hip. Lu Han nearly flips the hot frying pan on top of both of them. 

“Get off!” Lu Han yelps, trying to kick Chen off from where he’s wrapped around his leg and pawing at him enthusiastically. 

“I’m hungry,” Chen whines, face still pressed into Lu Han’s hip and wriggling obnoxiously. “So hungry. Feed me? Feed me, _please_ , Lu Han?”

Lu Han stills, spatula aimed for Chen’s head, as he looks down at the being currently melded to his side. “What?”

Chen finally looks up at him, eyes shining and face pleading. Lu Han gulps. “Feed me, Lu Han. I’m hungry,” Chen says, voice pleading and desperate. 

It’s the first time Chen has called Lu Han by his name and something about how the name rolls off of his tongue has a knot forming in Lu Han’s throat. “I have to check your cleaning,” Lu Han says around the gourd lodged in his trachea and Chen, after blinking once, suddenly scrambles from Lu Han and grabs him, hauling him from the kitchen and into the rest of the apartment. 

Well, it doesn’t look quite as much of a complete mess. Lu Han at least has to give Chen some credit. He did apparently try to clean. Whether he was entirely successful is another matter. But at least the plant is back upright and the curtains are by the window rather than on the television. Lu Han highly doubts that Junmyeon’s clothes are back in their proper places though. Chen is watching him steadily, eyes wide and unblinking as they look at him. “Food now?”

Lu Han sighs. He’s hungry. And too tired to really deal with this shit. And Chen looks far too catlike and sexy-cute when he looks at Lu Han like that. “Food,” Lu Han sighs and Chen immediately is scampering back to the kitchen. Lu Han runs a hand through his hair before following him. He finds Chen staring in confusion at the pan of mapo dofu and the two plates set out. Lu Han shoves him aside absently and Chen stumbles but immediately latches onto Lu Han, watching in fascination as Lu Han opens the rice cooker, spoons out a bit of rice and then a serving of _mapo dofu_ for each of them. Lu Han glances at Chen as he does this and it’s like watching a small child discover their hands for the first time. Chen seems too enraptured with the process. He smiles despite himself. 

Lu Han sits Chen down at the table with himself, despite the others protests that it’s a ridiculous notion, and is on his third bite when he looks up and sees Chen poking at his own plate as if it’ll bite him but he’s not entirely sure. He pauses, spoon of rice and seasoned tofu half way to his mouth. “What are you doing?”

Chen doesn’t even look up. “How do you eat it?” he says, sniffing the plate curiously. “It’s hot. And human faces are weird. I’ll burn myself.”

Lu Han almost drops his spoon. Almost. “You don’t eat it with your face,” Lu Han sputters, staring at Chen and trying not to laugh. Chen looks up in surprise, hands gripping the plate and looking desperately hungry. Lu Han purses his lips and gestures with his spoon. Chen frowns, before looking down at his own spoon in confusion. “You eat it with a spoon. Or chopsticks.” Chen looks up and appears desperately helpless. 

Lu Han sighs, pushing himself from his chair and wandering over to Chen, picking up the others spoon and giving it to him. Chen holds it like a three year old holds a crayon and frowns moodily. Lu Han bites his lip and directs Chen to the plate of food. “Now you take a bit of the food onto your spoon,” he says. Chen looks at the food, then at Lu Han, then at the spoon. He hits Lu Han with the spoon. 

Lu Han yelps and glares at Chen as the other grins, scoops up some rice and mapo dofu and attempts to shove it in his mouth. He succeeds and looks extremely pleased before his eyes widen as he chews, spoon still lingering by his mouth. “Hot!” Chen yelps, face giving way to a pained expression and opening his mouth, trying to fan the heat from his mouth. 

Lu Han realizes slightly belatedly that giving Chen, who has survived on cat food his entire life, his mapo dofu that is typically spicier than normal due to his own Chinese heritage and love of heat, might not have been wise. However, rather than apologizing, Lu Han shrugs and takes a spoonful of Chen’s food himself, popping it into his mouth. 

“Well, if you don’t want it,” Lu Han says loftily around rice and tofu and Chen’s face falls. 

“No!” Chen hastens to say, pulling his plate closer to himself and throwing his arms over it protectively. “My food. I’ll eat it.”

Lu Han grins to himself, wandering back to his own chair and food. He watches Chen during the meal and smiles at the other’s childlike attempts to eat, frowning at the spice and yet determinately plowing through the meal out of desperate hunger. Lu Han finishes first, sighing and going to grab a beer. Walking back, he finds Chen, spoon still clutched in one hand, and licking delicately at the other. Lu Han freezes at the door, watching as Chen licks a few more times before rubbing his hand vigorously through his hair and frowning. 

“What are you doing?” Lu Han finally rasps out, staring at Chen. 

Chen looks at him in the most patronizing fashion Lu Han has ever seen a human look at anything. “Washing,” he says, as if this is the most obvious thing in the world. “What does it look like?” Chen gives him a ridiculously superior look before going back to licking his hand and attempting to scrub behind his ears.

Lu Han, before he can stop himself, bursts out laughing. Chen looks both startled and affronted by the reaction. Lu Han doesn’t even bother correcting Chen or even answering his questioning expression. He just walks to the living room, flops onto the couch, and switches on the television, flipping to the evening news. He’s managed to get through the weather and top head lines, just starting into a few local stories when there is a dip in the couch beside him and he looks over to see Chen hesitantly settling in beside him. 

Chen doesn’t look at him. In fact, his eyes are directed anywhere but at Lu Han, but Lu Han can see from the angle of his body and the way he carefully slides into a curled up crouch that Chen is there on purpose and just trying to ignore but not ignore Lu Han. Lu Han lets a smile tug at his lips. He doesn’t acknowledge Chen’s presence as the other shifts occasionally beside him. He only looks over when he hears the suspicious sound of licking again. 

Chen is now licking his arm and frowning. Lu Han tries not to let his stomach plummet at the extremely strange sight. Chen looks over after a moment. “Do you mind? I don’t watch you when you bathe.”

“You’re not a cat anymore,” Lu Han says, as if just piecing the part together in his mind. Lu Han is pretty sure he should be more concerned with the fact that Chen was once a cat is entirely acceptable in his mind than Chen’s apparent bathing habits. But really, Lu Han has had enough weird shit happen to him at this point that glossing over that obvious fact seems completely reasonable. “You’re a human now. Human’s don’t lick themselves.”

“Weird species,” Chen mumbles before craning his neck and trying to lick his bare shoulder. Lu Han absently lets his eyes wander over Chen. He’s wearing Lu Han’s giant fur hat he had been wearing when Lu Han arrived home and the pair of Lu Han’s boxers Lu Han had shoved at him that first day. But other than that, he’s still mostly naked, smooth skin only interrupted by the black collar still fastened securely around his neck reading _CHEN_ in big curly letters with complimentary bell. Lu Han swallows at how lean and smooth his entire body is. He absently remembers how Chen the cat had been extremely lean and smooth, all long bodylines and slim feline sass. It’s a little disconcerting how Chen is still so feline despite his human appearance. 

“You should bathe,” Lu Han says, eyes on Chen’s ribs, which are just barely visible when he shifts. 

“What do you think I'm doing?” Chen asks, exasperatedly, giving Lu Han a look as he attempts to lick over his shoulder. Lu Han’s eyes flicker to Chen’s tongue as it darts out to try to drag over skin. It’s suddenly very warm on the couch. 

“Nope!” Lu Han yelps, getting up abruptly and turning off the television. Lu Han uses the physical act of walking to the kitchen to try to wipe the image of Chen’s tongue from his mind. Nope. 

“Where are you going?” Chen asks, craning his neck over the back of the couch and watching Lu Han with a perplexed frown. 

“Dishes,” Lu Han says, determinately not looking back at Chen. Lu Han cleans up the kitchen before returning to the living room. He takes one look at the still mostly messed up area before sighing. He’s tired. Chen is licking himself in his blankets nest again. Lu Han doesn’t have the strength to deal with this at the moment. Lu Han brushes his teeth and doesn’t bother changing into sleep things, instead just collapsing into bed wearing his boxers after closing the door firmly. 

Lu Han wakes up the next morning to find Chen practically wrapped into his side, naked chest pressed against his own. There is a brief moment where Lu Han lingers between the moments of sleep and awake and curls his own arms tighter around the other, sighing in sleep, before his brain snaps to function and he shoves Chen from him violently, sending the other sprawling to the floor with a loud yelp. 

“Bed!” Lu Han wheezes out, his heart pounding in his chest. “My bed!”

“I was just snuggling,” Chen pouts, righting himself to sit dejectedly on the floor, looking up at Lu Han in rejected defiance. “What’s so bad about that? Junmyeon master does that with me all the time.”

“Well, I am not Junmyeon master,” Lu Han snaps, feeling his nerves twang at the comparison. “I don’t let people on my bed.”

“I’m not people, I’m Chen,” Chen says, and huffs. “And I’m a cat.”

“You are not a cat!” Lu Han yells, frantically wind milling his arms. “You are a human right now and no humans on my bed!”

“Fine!” Chen snaps, glowering. “You have a lumpy uncomfortable bed anyway!”

Lu Han sputters incoherently for a few moments as Chen flounces from the room, looking thoroughly pissy. before Lu Han flumps back into bed, groaning at the clock flashing six thirteen, and beats his pillows in frustration. About ten minutes later, he hauls himself from bed and stumbles to the living room, finding Chen nestled in his blankets and once more licking himself, frowning. Chen winces a few times.

“You know, humans aren’t cats,” Lu Han says, watching Chen as the other winces again. “We don't lick ourselves clean.”

“Yeah, well, your species is dumb,” Chen says, trying to lick his elbow and grunting in frustration. “You also wear clothing and eat weird hot things and watch talking boxes. It’s a miracle you’ve survived this long.” He frowns, before turning and trying to lick down his chest. Lu Han stares as the other’s body contorts, stretching and flexing as Chen lets out a soft sound of frustration. Lu Han feels warm in only his boxers. 

“You need a bath,” Lu Han says, striding over to Chen and grabbing his arm, causing the other to start at the contact. Chen looks up at him, clearly not understanding. 

“I am taking a bath, thank you very much,” Chen says, trying to shy away from Lu Han slightly. 

“No,” Lu Han says, noticing finally how matted Chen’s hair has become under his furry winter hat and the faint odor lingering about him. Five days ago, Chen the cat had smelled like cat. Now, Chen the human smells like old cat and Junmyeon’s stale socks. “You need a bath. A real human bath. No more licking; you’ll lick yourself raw.” Lu Han drags Chen up and towards the bathroom. 

“Let go!” Chen yelps as he stumbles after Lu Han. 

“Bath time!” Lu Han chirps, leaning into the tub and turning on the faucet so water pours into the tub. He turns to Chen, who is looking at him warily. “Strip.”

Chen’s eyes twitch. “You’re going to try to make me mate with you, aren’t you,” Chen says, and clutches at the waistband of Lu Han’s borrowed boxers. Lu Han realizes Chen has been wearing them for three days and tries not to gag. 

“I am not going to mate with you,” Lu Han spits out the words as he tests the water temperature. “I don’t want to mate with you,” Lu Han continues, glancing back at Chen, his eyes lingering on Chen’s long torso and the faint outline of abs under the smooth skin. “You smell.”

Chen sputters indignantly. “I do not smell,” he huffs and sits down haughtily on the toilet, glaring at Lu Han as the other straightens up, deeming the water warm enough. “I smell normal. You’re the one who smells weird.”

“I smell like I need a shower,” Lu Han says, dragging a hand through his hair and wincing. He really does need a shower. “But you first. Now, clothing off. You can’t take a bath with clothes on,” he says and bats Chen’s hat to the ground. Chen tries to grab for the hat frantically but Lu Han hacky-sacks it out the door of the bathroom before slamming the door closed and locking it. Lu Han once saw Chen, in a curious moment, try to figure out the kitchen sink a month ago. It ended with Chen breaking a vase as he scampered off the counter away from water. Even now, Chen is eyeing the slowly filling tub warily. 

“I changed my mind,” Chen says, shifting on the toilet. “I really like clothing. Humans are genius. Give me more clothing.”

“You need to be naked to take a bath,” Lu Han says, bracing himself for Chen to bolt. “You can’t wear clothing. So, pants off. Besides, I thought you loved being naked. You are naturally naked. Humans are the weird ones with clothing.”

“I don’t want a bath,” Chen says, and Lu Han notes that he’s begun to breath faster, eyes going slightly wide even as he tries to look calm. 

“You were just licking yourself raw,” Lu Han points out, taking a careful step towards Chen as the water continues to flow behind him. “You need a bath.”

“Licking is fine!” Chen wheezes, scuttling off the toilet and standing opposite Lu Han, looking cornered. “I’ll stick with that.”

“No. Bath,” Lu Han says, suddenly lunging at Chen and managing to yank his boxers down his thin legs. Chen lets out a horrible loud shriek, losing his balance as he tries to leap away and gets tangled in his boxers and instead falls backwards into the sink, sending toothbrushes and face wash flying. Lu Han uses this moment of distraction to drag Chen’s boxers off completely and then haul Chen up. Chen tries to lurch himself away from Lu Han and Lu Han pivots them, letting go and sending Chen flailing backwards directly into the tub. Chen’s eyes fly wide as he screams in panic, careening into the water and collapsing in a pile of limbs and loud sounds into the water. 

Lu Han barely has a second to feel triumphant though as a second later Chen is surging up from the water, looking terrified, and wheezing high-pitched sounds, trying to scramble from the tub frantically. Lu Han lurches forward and shoves Chen back into the water. 

“ _Water_!” Chen is screeching at him, limbs flying everywhere as he tries to get out of the substance. “Water! Every- holy Cats, get me out! I can’t! Oh, I hate you!” Chen yowls as Lu Han fights to keep him in the tub, barely having a moment to turn off the water as Chen attempts to beat him on every part he can reach. Chen is soaking wet. So is Lu Han for that matter, though he can ignore this fact as he’s too busy trying to keep Chen in the water long enough to get him clean and no longer smelling like old feet. 

“Hold still!” Lu Han snaps, wincing as Chen clips him the jaw and scratches down his arms with abnormally sharp nails. “I am- goddamnit! Chen!” But Chen just spits angry sounds at him, continuing to flail and getting water everywhere, writhing against Lu Han as he tries to get out of the tub. Lu Han finally gives up and ends up climbing into the tub himself, wrapping himself completely around Chen, clamping his arms around Chen and wrapping his legs around the other, holding him firm as he leans into Chen’s ear, breathing harshly. 

Chen is heaving hysterical breathes against him and stiff as a board. “Look, either you stop fighting me and we get this over fast, or I drown you,” Lu Han growls and Chen shivers against him, water sloshing around them. “Got it?” Chen does nothing for a moment, then suddenly tries to flail against Lu Han, and Lu Han, out of random instinct, bites down hard on Chen’s ear, directly beside his mouth.

The reaction is instantaneous. Chen stills completely in his arms, shuddering still and Lu Han pauses, eyes slightly wide as he pulls back, looking down at the mop of dark wet hair in front of him. Lu Han holds on firmly for a few more moments before, warily, releasing his grip a little. Chen doesn’t try to lurch away. Instead, he just shivers in the water and bows his head, as if finally conceding to his water fate. “Okay?” Lu Han asks, eyeing Chen warily. Chen turns his head to the side so he can look back at Lu Han and glares, but doesn’t protest. Lu Han blinks. “Okay then,” Lu Han says, feeling confused but pleased at Chen’s sudden admission to him. He tentatively reaches for the shampoo. “Close your eyes,” he tells Chen. 

Chen obeys and Lu Han stares. He swallows dryly before threading his fingers into Chen’s hair and massaging shampoo into his scalp, feeling stiff strands of hair, sticky with unwashed oils and dead skin, slip between his fingers. Lu Han tries not to think how disgusting it is and instead focuses on how Chen seems to relax, just a little bit, against his hands. Satisfied with his hair, Lu Han grabs the soap and works it into a lather, dragging his hands across Chen’s back and spreading soapsuds across the surface. Chen sighs gently before him and Lu Han blinks, pausing. Chen turns his head again. 

“What?” says the human cat thing, currently naked save for the collar around his neck, covered in soap bubbles between Lu Han’s legs in a bathtub. 

“You wash your front,” Lu Han scratches out, shoving the soap into Chen’s hands and trying to fight down the flush in his cheeks as heat flares up his spine. 

“What?” Chen repeats, jerking around to look at Lu Han, eyes flying open and surprised. A second later he lets out a loud yelp and slams his eyes closed again, flailing and falling backwards into Lu Han. 

“What?!” Lu Han yelps, finding himself with an arm full of slick soapy wet writhing Chen.

“It hurts!” Chen sobs into him and paws at his face, eyes squeezed shut. 

Oh.

Soap. 

Eyes.

Right. 

“Hold on!” Lu Han says, feeling slightly frantic as he scoops up water and dumps it on Chen’s head, washing out the soap in his hair and sending rivulets of water down his face and back. “Just, hold on and don't open your eyes.” 

Chen whimpers and cries, splashing at the water. “I knew I hated water!” Chen spits out, looking venomous. “Water is the worst thing ever.”

“Hush you,” Lu Han says, grabbing a washcloth and wetting it swiftly before dragging it over Chen’s face, wiping gently at his eyes and removing the soap. “Okay, try to open your eyes,” he says. Chen does so, whimpering still and frowning but after a moment of repeated blinking and a few odd tears, he looks up at Lu Han, eyes wide. 

“It doesn’t hurt anymore,” Chen says in wonder as he looks at Lu Han, eyes shining, gold more visible at this close proximity than before. 

“Soap,” Lu Han garbles out, shoving the bar at Chen and trying to keep from staring at how much skin Chen has as he basically lies on top of Lu Han. “Wash.”

Chen stares at he picks up the soap, a small frown forming on his face. “Do I eat it?” 

“No!” Lu Han spits out, grabbing the soap from Chen frantically before the other gets ideas. “No, you use it to wash. See?” Lu Han briefly uses the soap to scrub up his arms and under them. Chen watches him carefully, fascinated. Lu Han swallows heavily. “You try,” he says, holding out the soap for Chen, who takes it reverently. 

“All of me?” Chen says, water clinging to his hair and dripping down his chest. 

Lu Han nods. He doesn’t trust himself enough to attempt speech. 

Lu Han hates Junmyeon for picking out such a gorgeous cat at the shelter. Junmyeon should have picked out the ugliest oldest fattest female cat there and named her 'Mrs. Tiddles' or something equally as horrible. Then Lu Han would have just kicked her out when she turned human and wouldn’t be sitting basically naked in a bath tub with a much more naked extremely attractive cat human between his legs and feeling all of the blood pulse in his body. 

Lu Han busies himself with lathering shampoo into his own hair while Chen scrubs himself clean in absorbed wonder. Lu Han only looks up when he feels a gentle hand rest upon his thigh and jerks to find Chen leaning in, holding the bar of soap dangerously close to his face, and looking curious. “What?”

“Help,” Chen says unemotionally before shoving the soap into Lu Han’s face and scrubbing vigorously. 

Lu Han, once he manages to cease Chen’s assault on his face with soap, shoves Chen into the water and leaves the other sputtering helplessly as he rinses his hair and clambers from the tub. Chen sits in the soapy water and looks at him, frowning and looking disgruntled. Lu Han sighs. “Get out. You have to get dry now.”

Chen blinks once before he crawls from the tub, sloshing water into the already soaked bathroom. Lu Han, towel already draped over his own head, grabs Junmyeon’s spare towel and offers it to Chen. Chen instead shakes himself vigorously, head snapping violently on his neck and spraying water everywhere as the bell on his collar jingles. Lu Han stares at him before shoving the towel at him, sending Chen into a squawking fit as Lu Han towels him vigorously. 

“What are you doing?” Chen howls at him, hands slapping and trying to grab Lu Han’s arms as the other rubs the towel over his head, trying to dry his hair.

“Drying you off,” Lu Han says, finally dropping the towel and stepping back to finish drying himself. “You finish. I have faith you can accomplish that much on your own.” He looks up just as Chen pokes his head out of the towel and stills. Chen’s face is flushed as he glares angrily at Lu Han, hair sticking up everywhere. He drags his towel from his shoulders and hurls it at Lu Han. 

“No!” Chen snaps, huffing angrily as he strikes what Lu Han assumes he thinks is a defiant uncaring stance but which instead just looks extremely sassy. 

“You’ll be cold,” Lu Han says, smirking faintly as he sees goose bumps already crawl up Chen’s arms. Chen just huffs, nose in the air as he looks determinately at the steam fogged mirror, seeming completely unabashed to be completely naked yet again. Lu Han resumes drying himself, peeling his wet boxers off and drying himself fully, wrapping the towel firmly around his waist. He glances up a few times to see Chen curiously poking at the fogged glass before he manages to clear enough of the reflective surface and then begins to play a bit of a strange peek-a-boo game with himself. 

“If you’re wondering who the strange human is, that’s you,” Lu Han says after watching Chen duck out of sight of his reflection for a sixth time. 

Chen turns to him sharply, a surprised expression on his face. “That’s what I look like?” Chen asks, curious tone in his voice before he looks back at his reflection and leans in, body showing all signs of intrigue as he leans over the counter, nose practically pressed into the mirror. 

“Yeah, mostly,” Lu Han says, walking over and clearing a bit more of the mirror so he can look at his reflection as well. He checks his face. He can get away without shaving for a day or two more. 

“Wow,” says Chen, tilting his head in all sorts of directions before poking his face. His eyes flit over to Lu Han’s reflection in the mirror and Lu Han makes a face at him. Chen looks back at himself. “I look hideous.”

Lu Han stares at the other. Actually turning to look at Chen full on rather than in the mirror. “What?”

“I look horrible,” Chen says, still absorbed in his own reflection. “Humans are so ugly.” He finally seems to realize Lu Han is looking at him and turns, eyes bored. 

“And cats aren’t?” Lu Han asks, eyebrows raised. 

“Cats are the most beautiful creatures on the planet,” Chen says loftily, eyes sweeping up and down Lu Han. “You're not a really ugly human though,” Chen says casually, shivering slightly as he shifts his shoulders. 

Lu Han blinks, looking at Chen. “Is that a compliment?”

“Though you do kind of look like a female,” Chen continues, cocking his head to the side. “I mean, your face. It’s confusing because you’re clearly male.”

Lu Han tries not to frown and flush to the depths of his pores. Instead, he stoops to the side, grabbing Chen’s towel, and shoving it into his chest, rubbing vigorously. Chen stares at him in shock, mouth open as he fights for balance. 

“Dry!” Lu Han yells, shoving the towel to Chen and turning, unlocking the door and leaving the bathroom, pressing his lips firmly together. Chen was a cat. Chen is a cat. Chen is a weird cat human thing who can’t use spoons and doesn’t understand things and was a cat four days ago and Lu Han cannot be finding him endearing. Or letting his comments smack into him like they do. 

“I’m making food,” Lu Han calls a half-hour later after he has dressed and fixed his appearance, waltzing into the kitchen and grabbing a pot. 

Chen comes practically skidding into the kitchen, eyes wide and eager as his bell jingles. He is wearing one of Junmyeon’s huge sweaters again, but thankfully has apparently found a different pair of boxers. His hair is sticking up in every possible direction. He looks up at Lu Han excitedly and grins widely. “Can I eat it?”

Lu Han doesn't smile. He really doesn’t. His face just malfunctions. “Maybe,” Lu Han says, shoving Chen back from where he’s severely invading his personal space. Chen leans back almost instantly, moving now to press himself to Lu Han’s side and peer curiously at what Lu Han has in front of him. Lu Han tries to shove him back again, putting Chen at an arms distance. “Stay,” he says giving Chen a pointed look. 

Chen licks his lips before dragging the bottom one between his teeth. Lu Han watches him for a moment before turning back to the stove and pouring oats into a pan along with some water. He glances to the side to see Chen watching him avidly, leaning a bit from where he’s standing. Chen notices him and flinches back, looking around wildly before staring almost over his shoulder. He does a very bad job of not looking interested. 

“You remember the spoons we used yesterday?” Lu Han asks as he stirs the oatmeal over the stove. Chen nods vigorously. “Can you get those again and put them on the table?”

Chen flies into motion, before stopping a moment later and straightening, walking about the kitchen imperiously, eyes flashing about before he finally finds the silverware nestled in the drying rack and grabbing it, turning on his heel and marching out of the kitchen. Lu Han hides his smile as he watches the other. 

Chen appears much more receptive to the bland taste of the oatmeal when Lu Han puts it in front of him and shoves it down clumsily with his spoon, almost licking his bowl clean when he’s done before Lu Han drags it away from him. Lu Han leaves for work while Chen follows him to the door and watches him go looking highly perplexed. “I’ll be back for dinner,” Lu Han says, toeing his shoes on. “Grab something from the fridge if you’re hungry.”

“Where do you go every day?” Chen asks, frowning. 

“Work,” Lu Han says, before dragging the door closed behind himself. Today, Tao alternates between gossiping with Lu Han about all the online shopping he’s been planning on doing and pestering him about his opinion on the new kid. Lu Han tells Tao every time he think’s he’s half asleep and tan but Tao seems to never get tired of saying “I know, but what do you think of him?” before Lu Han snaps and plasters 20% off stickers on various places of Tao. He feels very accomplished when he gets one on Tao’s ass and the other forgets it’s there, instead wandering around the whole day with a neon orange ‘Special 20% off!’ sticker on his left ass pocket of his too tight pants. This seems to catch the new kids attention somewhat, as he manages to wake up enough to frown at it and his eyes follow Tao’s ass around the store for a good ten minutes. 

Lu Han congratulates himself on his matchmaking skills. 

Lu Han returns home to a slightly cleaner apartment and Chen napping, curled up on the couch in an extremely feline fashion, fuzzy hat once more on his head and looking abnormally cute. Lu Han snuffs through his nose, turning to the kitchen and heating up some of Junmyeon’s left overs on the stove, flipping open the rice cooker and spooning out a bit onto two plates. Chen wanders in, eyes curious, jut as Lu Han is putting out some side dishes and leans over Lu Han’s shoulder curiously. 

“What is work?” Chen asks, chin resting by Lu Han’s shoulder but just barely reaching.

“It’s where I waste my life everyday to make money,” Lu Han answers, turning and spooning servings of curry onto each plate. “Here, did you get spoons?” He shoves a plate at Chen who nearly drops it as he tries to grab it. 

“We eat this?” Chen asks curiously looking at the goop on his plate. 

“Well, you can shove your face in it instead if you want,” Lu Han says, shrugging and taking his own plate. “Totally up to you.” He brushes past Chen to go sit down and eat. He is on his second bite when Chen nudges into the chair next to him rather than opposite. He looks up, mid bite. 

Chen doesn’t look at him, instead poking at the food with awkward jabs of his spoon. He takes a few bites, making a few faces before eating a bit more. 

“I don’t like it,” Chen says after a moment, sitting back and looking at Lu Han accusingly. 

“Well, how sad for you,” Lu Han says, going back to his dinner and ignoring Chen’s frown. “Don’t eat it then.”

“But I’m hungry,” Chen says and sounds annoyed. 

“Then eat the food,” Lu Han says, nodding to the curry.

“I don’t like it,” Chen repeats. 

“Then, go hungry,” Lu Han says, shoving another bite of curry in his mouth before letting out a loud yelp as Chen whaps him over the head with his spoon. “What was that for?” Lu Han demands, rubbing at his head with his free hand as Chen looks surprised but delighted. 

“Spoons,” Chen says, looking down at the one clutched in his hands. Lu Han barely has a moment to react before Chen once more whaps him over the head with his spoon, grinning widely. He lets out a loud yelp, trying to bat away the persistent attack. “Spoons are amazing!”

“Get off!” Lu Han yells, finally grabbing Chen’s spoon and wrenching it from his grip. “No more spoons for you,” he snaps, glaring at the smaller as Chen looks at him in annoyance. 

“Give me back my spoon,” Chen demands. 

“No,” Lu Han snaps, holding the spoon as far away from Chen as he can. 

“I want to use it to eat!” Chen says, making a grab for the spoon and failing, nearly falling into his dinner. 

“Eat with your hands!” Lu Han snaps, standing and grabbing his dinner plate, along with his spoon and Chen’s. “Eat with your face. You’re a cat. You’re used to that, right?” He sighs, shifting his weight before walking to the living room, flopping down onto the couch and propping his feet on the coffee table, taking an annoyed bite of curry from the plate he situates it in his lap. If Junmyeon were here, he’d kill him for breaking about six house rules. But Junmyeon isn’t here. So Lu Han doesn’t give a shit. 

Lu Han has finished his food, turned on the television, and is dozing off to some program about horse racing when he feels something warm press gently into his side. Mainly against his thigh. He jerks back to consciousness, looking down and blinking the sleep from his eyes. Chen has somehow crept onto the couch while Lu Han was nodding off and is curled up on the couch beside him, head resting just against Lu Han’s thigh on the couch as he nestles into the cushions. 

Lu Han blinks. Chen’s eyes are closed and his fingers are curled near his nose, shoulder just barely brushing near Lu Han’s arm. He hesitates, having shifted slightly, arm paused over Chen’s form before he gentle lowers his hand and slowly rests it against Chen’s head. Chen doesn’t open his eyes, just shifts slightly and presses just a little more into Lu Han’s thigh. Lu Han blinks and can vaguely see this scene in his mind. Except instead of him, it’s Junmyeon, and Chen as a cat curled on the couch, Chen curled against Junmyeon’s thigh and pressing more into Junmyeon as Junmyeon gently pets his head, scratching behind his ears with a fond expression. 

But then Lu Han blinks again, and it’s him and Chen the human on the couch together, and his fingers still in Chen’s hair. He frowns before pushing himself up carefully and off of the couch, grabbing his plate and walking to the kitchen. He passes the dining table and notes the half eaten curry at Chen’s place, abandoned and cold. He pauses, picking up the second plate and taking it to the kitchen. He doesn't bother doing the dishes, instead dropping them beside the sink before washing up and crawling into bed. 

Lu Han wakes up and thinks he’s alone, smiling and curling into his blankets before he stills, eyes flying wide as he feels an arm snake over his waist and a small moan sounds from beside him. He flings himself from bed this time, breathing heavily and staring wildly down at his bed to find Chen scrambling from the comforter, looking extremely guilty. 

“What did I say about-“ Lu Han begins to snap as Chen bolts out the door. 

“Cat!” Chen yells, cutting off Lu Han as he slips on some pants and tumbles to the floor, rolling into the desk and letting out a loud grunt. “Plus, your bed is nice. And you’re warm.”

Lu Han blinks, trying to fight down the flutter in his chest as Chen looks at Lu Han guiltily, curling into himself on the floor. “My bed is for me and only me,” Lu Han says firmly, pointing at his sleep space for emphasis. Chen sticks out his bottom lip and Lu Han makes a gargling sound before stomping from the room. He does a great job of ignoring his morning wood until he’s under the spray of his shower, when it looks up him jovially and demands attention. 

Lu Han relieves himself quickly, trying to focus on nothing, especially not almost naked attractive cat humans, and finishes his shower as quickly as possible, stepping from the shower and nearly tripping over Chen who is curled up outside of the bathroom door and lets out a yelp as Lu Han walks into him. Lu Han doesn’t even have a chance to snap at him before Chen is scrambling towards the kitchen and leaving Lu Han to prepare for his earlier shift. Lu Han blinks after him, wondering what is up with the cat human. 

Lu Han walks into the kitchen to find Chen absent but the curry from last night missing from the plate and what appears to be oatmeal on the stove (though it isn’t cooked. It’s just soggy oats and water). Lu Han blinks, turning on the stove and preparing breakfast. Lu Han brings out breakfast in two bowls and looks around for Chen, finally finding him curled up by the laundry basket. He looks up at Lu Han briefly before staring back at the floor decidedly. 

“Are you hungry?” Lu Han asks, finding the others behavior both peculiar and amusing. Chen rolls his shoulders in a noncommittal fashion but can’t really hide the hungry glint in his eyes as he glances up at Lu Han and licks his lips. “I made breakfast,” Lu Han says, turning from Chen and walking back to the dining table. He can hear Chen scampering up behind him, collar jingling, and smiles to himself. 

They don’t talk at breakfast and Chen doesn’t hit Lu Han with his spoon, instead eating his food in silence and flashing looks up at Lu Han. Lu Han goes to work and watches as Tao mislabels the vast majority of the recent Haruki Murakami book as he stares at the new worker as he spaces off in the children’s section. “His name is Jongin,” Tao tells Lu Han conspiratorially, leaning close as if Jongin can hear them from half way across the store.

“I know,” Lu Han says, trying not to roll his eyes. “He introduced himself when he started working two days ago. He wears a nametag. So do you. So do I. It’s kind of part of the job.”

“Yeah,” Tao says, rolling his eyes and gesturing with a newly mis-priced Murakami volume agitatedly. “But he also goes by the name of Kai apparently. And is like some sort of amazing dance prodigy.”

“You don’t say,” Lu Han says, exaggeratedly flouncing at Tao before looking over at ‘Jongin’ as the other slips on his shoelace and nearly face plants into _Dr. Seuss_. “What a graceful creature,” Lu Han coos and Tao flushes brilliantly, smacking him with the price gun. 

Lu Han gets home to find it quiet but every light in the apartment on. He walks in, not really caring at this point, and finds Chen sitting close to the television, pressing the channel button in fascination as the pictures change. Every time the channel changes, he jumps, falling back slightly before leaning forward again in wonder. “You know, if you keep pressing the ‘up’ button it’ll keep doing the same thing,” Lu Han says and Chen actually does fall over this time, before seeming to collect himself and scrambling to his feet. Lu Han vaguely notes that Chen no longer hobbles around on all fours. In fact, he hasn’t since that first day really. 

“I knew that,” Chen says, jerking his head agitatedly. 

“Sure,” Lu Han says skeptically, wandering into the kitchen. He finds one of the left over meals lying on the counter, clearly having been eaten. He blinks at the demolished _japchae_ before turning to the fridge. “Are you hungry?” he calls over his shoulder before feeling something press gently into his side. He blinks and straightens. Chen is standing just a small distance away but still close enough to touch and look at him pleadingly. 

Lu Han swallows. 

“Can you feed me?” Chen says and his voice holds a soft breathiness to it that has Lu Han turning back to the fridge swiftly. His mind flashes over a few possibilities that aren’t super spicy before something lodges in his mind. 

“Yes, I can feed you,” Lu Han says, nudging Chen back away from himself as he pulls out eggs and a few vegetables. “Now go get those spoons.”

Chen vanishes from beside him and Lu Han sets about cooking a moment later. After a few minutes of cooking and preparing dinner, Lu Han once more feels a gentle pressure against his side and turns to see Chen looking over his arm curiously, eyes on the pan of sizzling chopped vegetables. 

“What is that?” Chen asks, pressing closer to Lu Han. 

“Food,” Lu Han says unhelpfully as he scoops rice into the pan and pours ketchup and a few other sauce ingredients over them. Chen watches avidly as Lu Han finishes up the fried rice and then pours eggs into a separate pan, cooking them briefly before scooping some rice in the center and forming a delicate looking omelet. He swiftly makes up a second and Chen barely steps back as Lu Han shifts to take the plates to the table, instead shuffling with him as he walks and Lu Han has to bite back a smile. “You got the spoons?” he asks instead. 

“Spoons,” Chen says simply, eyes on the food. Lu Han finds that Chen did indeed get the spoons as he sets down the food at the table and Chen barely waits for he ‘okay’ before diving into his meal. Lu Han was apparently correct in guessing that Chen would enjoy _omurice_ when he made dinner, seeing as Chen practically inhales the food, slightly less uncoordinated with his spoon. Lu Han smiles to himself as Chen hums in happiness around the food and finally settles down, spoon pressed against his lips, and simply watches Lu Han eat. 

“If you are done, you put your plate and spoon in the kitchen,” Lu Han says easily around his bite of egg and fried rice. Chen blinks before complying, grabbing his plate and walking slowly to the kitchen, carefully cradling the plate. Lu Han puts his own plate in the kitchen a few minutes later and barely has to look around before he finds Chen against is side once more, looking at him curiously. 

“What are you doing?” Lu Han finally asks, looking at Chen in confusion. 

“Nothing,” Chen says, cocking his head to the side and looking bored. 

Lu Han raises his eyebrows at Chen but says nothing, instead wandering to his room and turning on his computer, checking a few emails. There are a few from Junmyeon asking how he is, if he’s blown anything up, and if he’s killed Chen yet. Lu Han considers writing back but decides against it when he thinks of how much of a fuss Junmyeon will work himself into from not getting an answer. He wanders back into the living room a few minutes later, turning on the stereo and picking up a book, flipping it open and settling down on the couch, feet on the coffee table again. 

Lu Han has made it to chapter three before he feels something dip into the couch and a warm body nestles next to him. He looks down, starting slightly, to find Chen curled up beside him yet again, pressed further into his side than the previous day, and holding a spoon in his hand, looking at it curiously. Lu Han hesitates, torn between shoving Chen off and taking the spoon from him. Instead, Lu Han settles back into the couch, shifting and feeling Chen slide more into his side, head coming to rest under his arm a little. Chen doesn’t say anything, just continues to play with his spoon and Lu Han goes back to his book. 

After a few moments, Lu Han absently rests his hand on Chen’s head, letting his fingers lace through the soft hair. At first, Chen makes no reaction and Lu Han is half way down another page, fingers absently toying with soft locks, before Chen suddenly sighs gently, settling further into Lu Han and Lu Han pauses, fingers still atop Chen’s head. Chen seems to object, as a second later, he nudges up and into Lu Han’s hand, encouraging Lu Han to continue. Lu Han glances down, looking at Chen as the other taps the spoon against his stomach in lazy wonder. He thinks briefly of how a week ago Chen was a cat that liked it when Junmyeon would pet his head, scratch behind his ears and under his chin, sometimes purring and snuggling into Junmyeon affectionately. 

Lu Han swallows and begins to slowly drag his fingers through Chen’s hair, watching in interest as Chen relaxes almost immediately into the touch, curling just a little more into Lu Han, spoon going limp in his hands. Lu Han abandons his book. Instead, he continues to stroke through Chen’s hair as Chen leans into the touch and sighs in satisfaction. 

If Chen responds to this, then maybe…

Chen hums as Lu Han’s fingers drift down to gently drag and scratch at his ears, nails scratching slightly against the skin and he leans into Lu Han further, tiling his head to allow for more contact. His mouth curls upwards in a smile as his eyes close and Lu Han cannot get over how amazingly feline he looks. Feline and, well, human at the same time. It’s very odd. 

Lu Han bites his lip, trying to weigh his options, before he drags his fingers down to rest under Chen’s chin, scratching there momentarily before freezing as Chen lets out a loud moan and suddenly stretches his neck back, head pressing into Lu Han’s lap and neck bared to him as he curls into Lu Han. Lu Han’s breathing doesn't pick up. It doesn’t. Really. 

Chen’s eyes slowly open to look up at Lu Han and he nudges into Lu Han’s stomach. “Why did you stop?” he says, voice low and soft, washing over with a purr and Lu Han feels his stomach jolt. 

Damn. 

Lu Han doesn’t answer, just scratches his fingers along Chen’s neck once more, dragging along the line of his collar as the bell tinkles faintly, the black a stark contrast to his pale throat. Instantly, Chen’s eyes close again and he hums in delight, curling his body closer on the couch as he bends his neck back further. Lu Han watches in fascination as Chen practically purrs at being scratched under the chin, scratching his fingers gently over the skin on Chen’s neck. Chen hums gently and, after a bit of being pampered, nuzzles into Lu Han’s stomach and wraps his fingers in Lu Han’s shirt, pushing himself further into Lu Han’s lap. 

Lu Han stops, stilling his fingers by Chen’s neck and tries to swallow around the lump in his throat. 

Lu Han is sitting on his couch. With a human who was once a cat. A very attractive human who was once a cat. In his lap. With his face pressed into Lu Han’s lap. Practically purring. 

Lu Han looks down at his book, page forgotten, and then back down at Chen. He waits a moment before once more threading his fingers into Chen’s hair and stroking gently. Chen hums and Lu Han has to bite his tongue to keep from letting out a groan as the sound reverberates through his stomach and into other places. 

Chen remains nestled in Lu Han’s stomach for a good thirty minutes before he suddenly gets up, blinking blearily, stretching and shaking himself slightly, before padding gently to the bathroom. Lu Han waits until the door is closed before bolting for his room, closing the door and burrowing into his bed, trying to fight down the heat racing up through his body as the sounds of Chen’s moans reverberate in his mind. 

Lu Han doesn’t sleep very well that night, instead tossing and turning among too hot covers and wakes up at 6:15 alone. He blinks blearily, glancing around himself but finding no sign of Chen. Sitting up, Lu Han runs a hand through his hair, frowning as he feels an odd pang in his chest at the absence of the other before his eyes settle on a form curled just at the edge of his bed. 

Chen is lying, mostly crouched on the floor, with his head pillowed on his arms just at the foot of his bed, sleeping gently. Lu Han stares, eyes tracing the smooth lines of Chen’s face as he sleeps, curled into himself and bare skin almost shining softly in the gloom of a quarter past six in the morning. Hesitantly, Lu Han shuffles on the bed until he’s within arms reach before he stretches out his hand, pausing a moment, before gently running his fingers over Chen’s head, through dark hair. Chen sighs, shifting closer as a smile tugs at his lips and he presses up into Lu Han’s hand. Lu Han stills, breath catching in his throat before once more dragging his fingers through Chen’s hair. 

It’s oddly relaxing. 

As Lu Han’s fingers drift down to scratch gently by Chen’s ears, the dark eyes flutter open and shine with gold speckles, blinking blearily up at Lu Han and he freezes. Chen smiles at him lazily before snuggling back into his arms, curling and shuddering slightly as he tenses and then relaxes. “G’morning,” Chen mumbles into his arms and Lu Han swallows. 

“Good morning,” Lu Han answers, fingers itching to bury once more into Chen’s hair before he jerks himself from bed, getting up and stretching, trying to focus on getting the kinks out of his back. He sighs as his spine pops and then shuffles to his dresser, dragging out clean boxers and a pair of pants, rubbing a hand over his face before walking from the room. He doesn’t want to look at Chen. 

Lu Han showers quickly, choosing to glare his morning arousal away. When that doesn’t work, he imagines Junmyeon naked save for fishnets. It’s surprisingly effective. Chen is missing when Lu Han returns to his room, toweling his hair vigorously. Lu Han pauses, eyes on the end of his bed where Chen had been curled that morning, before he shakes himself and throws on a tee shirt, fingering product through his hair to style it quickly before shrugging on a jacket. 

Chen seems to have vanished when Lu Han tries to look for him. Instead, Lu Han fixes himself breakfast, saving an extra portion and setting it out for Chen as he sips a cup of coffee. Chen is still missing when Lu Han tries to look for him, going so far as to look into the chaos that is Junmyeon’s room before he leaves for work. Chen doesn’t appear when Lu Han calls out for him, telling him he’s going to work. Lu Han leaves for work frowning and trying to shake the phantom jingling of Chen’s collar from his ears as he goes to work. 

Work is more boring than usual. It’s a drab day that threatens rain, meaning few people are interested in coming into a bookstore, let alone venturing from their homes. Lu Han spends his time absently leafing through some magazines as Jongin plays video games on his phone and nods off into the register. Tao is stuck in the children’s corner today and keeps wandering over to bother Lu Han. 

“I didn’t know you had any pets,” Tao says, leaning over the counter to Lu Han, eyes flickering to Jongin as he nearly face plants into the computer screen for the ninth time this morning. 

“I don’t,” Lu Han says, not looking up from his article.

“Then why are you reading a magazine on cat care?” Tao asks, eyebrows raised as he turns his full attention to Lu Han.

“Because it’s more interesting than talking to Sir Sleeps-a-lot,” Lu Han says, glancing up at Tao before looking back down at cat behavioral traits. 

Around six, the door at the front jingles to life and Lu Han looks up, blinking in surprise as he sees Yixing striding towards him, Yifan trailing behind him looking pleasantly amused. Yixing comes to lean across from Lu Han at the counter, smiling brilliantly. 

“What did I tell you about visiting me at work?” Lu Han asks, frowning at his two friends. 

“That if we do so, you’ll dye all our white shirts pink,” Yifan says, settling into a stance oddly reminiscent of his brief stint where he convinced himself he was a male model. 

“So, naturally, we’re here to drag you out after work to drinks and proper socialization,” Yixing says, tapping a finger decidedly on top of _'CATS MONTHLY: All your queries, comments and coddling for our furry feline friends'_. “So, say goodbye to Tao and, um, narcolepsy over there, and punch out.”

Lu Han frowns. “I wasn’t lying about the dying your shirts thing,” Lu Han says, dragging off his work name tag as he walks from behind the desk. 

“Which is why all my clothing is gray tones and the only white shirt I possess is the one I sleep in,” Yixing says. 

“What about me?” Yifan says, looking down at Yixing and frowning. 

“Well, I guess you’ll just look super gay until you figure out how bleach works,” Yixing says, shrugging and smiling up at Yifan. Yifan’s frown increases and Yixing reaches up to pat him in the face. “Don’t do that. You look like an angry dragon. You’re scaring Tao.”

“Loud noises scare Tao,” Lu Han grumbles, rolling his eyes as he walks past them to the back room. “I can’t come out tonight anyway.”

Yixing’s eyebrows rise as he follows after Lu Han, leaving Yifan to try to work his face into a not-frown as Jongin maybe wakes up and starts at the tall frowning man standing opposite him. Yifan apparently doesn’t notice him. “What do you mean you can’t come out?” Yixing asks, following Lu Han as the other shrugs on his jacket and tosses his work apron somewhere he doesn’t really care about. 

“I have to, um, take care of Chen,” Lu Han says, feeling the words weaken significantly in his mouth. He realizes it will be very hard to explain to Yixing that he has to go home to take care of Junmyeon’s cat who has turned into a human and who is basically a hazard to himself and obsesses over spoons. 

“You mean Junmyeon’s cat?” Yixing says, giving Lu Han a very strange look.

“Um,” Lu Han says, fiddling with his jacket pockets and trying not to look overtly awkward. “Yeah?”

Yixing snorts, grabbing Lu Han by the shoulder and dragging him from the break room, back into the store. Yifan and Tao are chatting idly as Tao leans somewhat provocatively against the register. Jongin is fiddling with the display of postcards and flashing looks at them periodically. “It’s a cat,” Yixing says, looking at Lu Han in amusement. “It’ll survive. Cats are independent creatures anyway. You don’t have to take care of them like dogs. Chen will be fine on his own. Just leave him alone for a bit. You can’t coddle cats. They don’t react well. Give him space. Then I’m sure Chen will like you a bit more.” He pats Lu Han genially on the back.

Lu Han severely doubts this, seeing as Chen has recently taken to latching onto him and rubbing against him in a decidedly feline fashion but which has Lu Han reacting rather inappropriately. Also, the fact that Lu Han can’t really leave out kibble for Chen as proper meals is rather troublesome. Lu Han offers Yixing a smile anyway and nods, hoping that perhaps that will work. Lu Han can just hope that Yixing and Yifan will be too wrapped up talking about their own lives and getting drunk tonight to bother pestering Lu Han and he can slip away.

Yixing ends up dragging them to chicken and beer, which always seems like a great idea until they realize it never is and by the time that realization sets in they’re four drinks deep and slurring into a basket of fried chicken and Yifan is always demanding fries. Yixing laughs loudly, mouth full of chicken as Yifan tries to flag down the waiter with his hands, already slightly awkward on the too small stool for his larger frame and completely forgetting about the call button. Though, to be fair, they’ve done a magnificent job of hiding it under piles of napkins, beer glasses, and wrappers of ketchup Yifan had miraculously produced from his pockets, demanding that ketchup was necessary for fried chicken. 

Lu Han and Yixing had proceeded to tease Yifan about his childhood in Canada, going so far as to coo ‘KevKev’ at him until Yifan had shut them both up with an awkward scowl and threatened to tie-dye their shirts in the ketchup he was wielding threateningly. 

“But serious, Lu,” Yixing slurs slightly, tipping his glass in Lu Han’s direction. “You've been mia for the past week. What gives?”

Lu Han tries to shrug as beer sloshes in his brain and turns it into a weird sort of spinal twitch. “Just been busy,” he mumbles into his glass, glaring at how empty it is. “Where is my alcohol?”

“Doing what? Jerking off?” Yifan asks, leaning over the table and raising a severe eyebrow at Lu Han. 

“Where is my alcohol?!” Lu Han repeats, looking up from the glass. “It was you,” he accuses, narrowing his eyes and pointing at Yixing. “You stole it, you clepto.”

“You drank it,” Yifan says, watching Lu Han with his typical judgmental bitch face in place. “And got wasted. I always forget you’re a light weight.”

“I am not a light weight,” Lu Han slurs, leaning to the side so he can kick Yifan in the hip and nearly falling off of his stool. “I just have a really high procession of alcohols.”

“Did he just say he has a drugged parade of alcohol?” Yifan asks Yixing, looking at the other who just grins as he grabs another bite of chicken. 

“As long as there are giant balloons and dancing ladies, I don’t really care,” Yixing says, grinning. “Man, I love parades.”

“Well, parades don’t like you,” Lu Han gurgles, putting down his glass and frowning at the basket of chicken. “I should go home.”

“It’s barely even eight thirty,” Yixing says, giving Lu Han another look as Lu Han tries to build a tower out of used napkins. “Why do you need to go home early?”

Lu Han blinks as his tower collapses. “I have an early shift tomorrow?” he tries and Yifan snorts.

“The bookstore doesn't even open until ten,” Yifan points out and magically produces more ketchup from his jacket before ripping open a packet clumsily. He frowns as ketchup spits all over his lap, which is, fortunately, plastered in protective napkins. “You don’t know what an early shift is.”

“I am tired,” Lu Han tries and glares at Yifan.

“No, you’re not,” Yixing says, poking at Lu Han and earning a raspberry blown in his direction. “You’re just drunk. And being boring. Hang out with us. We’re your friends. Unless…” Yixing trails off and looks at Yifan. 

Yifan looks back and raises his eyebrows. “What, you know I can’t read your mind. There’s not enough there,” he says and Yixing tosses a straw wrapper at him. 

“Oh, like you’re some sort of genius yourself, Fanny pants,” Yixing says, frowning at Yifan as the other chokes on his beer at the horrific nickname. 

“Do you even know how insulting that is?” Yifan sputters into his beer.

Lu Han has burst out laughing loudly. “It’s funny because fanny is slang for vagina in England!” Lu Han blunders out through laughter as he nearly tips over. 

“Well done, human cannon of sound,” Yifan grumbles grabbing Lu Han before he tips to the floor in a laughing fit. “This is probably why you’re single.”

Lu Han chokes on his laughter and begins hacking into the table, nearly smacking his head into the wood as images of Chen snuggled into him suddenly blaze into his mind. 

“Hey, are you dating someone?” Yixing asks, looking curious as Lu Han struggles to control his breathing and hacking. 

Lu Han coughs more in answer and violently beats his chest. 

“Who would legitimately date him?” Yifan asks, watching as Lu Han tries to reassess air. “I mean, look at him. Aside from his face he’s the weirdest thing alive. Even Tao says he’s like an alien.”

“I hardly think Tao is allowed to assess people on weirdness,” Yixing says, reaching forward and trying to pat Lu Han on the back but only reaching as far as his face, which he pats instead. “Tao raps to himself and pretends he’s a ninja when he thinks no one is looking.”

“He’s just unique,” Yifan says, sighing at Yixing. 

“So is modern art, but you don’t see me talking about how a giant sculpture of a balloon animal dog is delightfully datable,” Yixing says as Lu Han fully recovers. “Now, I say we get Lu Han to a bar and force him to have fun and possibly forget him in a bathroom again.”

“That was one time!” Yifan sputters indignantly. 

“I will never forgive you for that,” Lu Han rasps out, glaring at Yifan as the memory of when Yifan had forgotten him in an extremely sketchy bathroom of a club resurfaces. That night did not end well. For any of them. 

“Hey, you survived,” Yifan says, trying to smile and looking instead like a shark.

“You should do that more,” Lu Han says, poking Yifan in the face. “It’s like super defense against unwanted suitors.”

“Do what?” Yifan asks, looking puzzled.

“Smile,” Yixing says and Yifan frowns at them both. 

“You’re terrible friends,” Yifan huffs, grabbing some chicken and picking at it. 

“I’m an amazing friend,” Yixing says, grinning delightedly. “Lu Han we just keep around because he’s funny.”

“Fucking hilarious,” Lu Han gurgles.

Yixing and Yifan manage to drag Lu Han to a bar, refusing to give up on their efforts when they find out Lu Han has the following day off and Yifan booms sound as he punches a large fist in the air, demanding shots from the wary bartender. He tries to smile politely but the bartender just looks more disturbed as Kris’ gums flash and he shoves their drinks at them hurriedly. 

“What did I do?” Yifan asks, looking confused as he hands Lu Han and Yixing their drinks.

“You looked like you,” Lu Han says loudly and sways. “Fuck piss get drunk!” he yells a moment later and slams a cheers out before downing the shot. It doesn’t take long before Lu Han is plastered, bounding about the club completely unchecked by Yixing, who has dissolved into telling the nearest person (an unsuspecting but attractive man in eyeliner) about his life woes and obsession with his cat. Yifan has lost himself somewhere in the crowd though Lu Han can occasionally glimpse him earning a wide berth with his severely questionable dance skills. Lu Han spends most of his time dancing with random people. 

This is mostly enjoyable and Lu Han mostly doesn’t really process what is happening until he is, at one point, pressed against someone and his hands settle on slim hips. Instantly, his alcohol-logged brain is slammed with the image and flesh memory of Chen, naked and resting between his legs in the bath. He shakes his head and looks down. It’s an attractive brunette who looks up with dark eyes and turns, seductive smile on thin lips. Lu Han shoves the bath scene away and is lost once again in the thrum of bass and alcohol, rolling his hips and earning a gasp. He smiles before leaning in and claiming that mouth. It’s hot. He’s hot. He kisses deeper, running hands up a long back and earning a moan. 

Lu Han’s fingers thread through dark hair and he tilts his head, eager for more access and tugs, earning another groan, and rolls his hips. 

Soft black hair. Piercing dark eyes flecked with gold. A small thin mouth that curls rarely and presses when confused. Curious hands pawing at him as a neck stretches for more contact, purr gurgling in his throat. 

Lu Han gasps, feeling fire shoot down his spine and claw up his skin, sending searing sensation and heightened awareness through his body. His pulse pounds in his ears as he blinks and sees Chen, hot and flushed, pressed against him and panting, gold flecked eyes dark with arousal and before he can think Lu Han pulls, dragging him closer, kissing him hard. He grips those slim hips and rolls against him, growling at the near violent degree of pleasure that flares at the rub against his painfully hard cock. 

Drawing back, Lu Han blinks his eyes open and sees, not Chen, but the surprised face of a stranger and feels ice jab into his throat and slide into his stomach. He freezes and the stranger blinks in confusion, but Lu Han is already pushing back, breaths racing and hand over his mouth as he realizes he’s just imagined Chen, the cat human, in a very compromising position with himself. He turns without looking back and runs from the club, ignoring Yixing’s yell of “Where’s the fire?” as he bursts from the club and throws himself to the nearest trash can, emptying his stomach and wincing as he still feels the pleasant thrum of arousal dance over his skin. 

Fuck. 

Lu Han hails a cab, trying to maintain his balance and focuses on images of dying puppies to keep himself from lapsing into images of Chen, mostly naked and panting and pawing at him with eyes dark and wanting. He sighs, running a hand over his face and keeps repeating the fact that Chen is a cat and therefore feeling any kind of sexual urge for him is probably the most immoral thing ever. 

Lu Han arrives home at close to one in the morning, stabbing his key into the lock and nearly falling into the house when he finally gets the door open. Lu Han has barely had time to toe off his shoes before Chen is suddenly skidding to him, collar jingling and eyes frantic, rushing to him and pawing at him, hands running all over him and eyes bright and concerned. Lu Han has a brief moment of almost grabbing him and dragging them together before he throws himself away with a yell, nearly falling over. 

Chen, with a yelp, staggers back and does fall over, scrambling and looking horribly worried. Lu Han closes his eyes, hand over his face, and tries to control his racing pulse. 

“Where were you?” Chen asks, looking extremely worried and still slightly scared as he shifts closer to Lu Han.

“Out,” Lu Han grinds out as his stomach turns again and he refuses to look at Chen, the other still blazed against his mind in far too little clothing. “I was out with friends.” He sighs and finishes taking off his shoes, finally dropping his hand and looking up at Chen. Chen looks slightly frantic. Lu Han blinks and swallows. Chen is not wearing the furry hat, and finally has a shirt on. The bad part is it’s Lu Han’s sleeping shirt and he’s still in just boxers. Lu Han presses his lips in a line walks to the kitchen, grabbing a Gatorade before retiring to the living room couch and collapsing, sighing and throwing an arm over his face as the room spins. He manages to get through half the bottle of Gatorade before lifting the bottle becomes too much work and he groans, flopping onto the couch and frowning into the cushion. 

Lu Han focuses on breathing. Because usually that's an important thing for survival. Internally, he curses Yifan and Yixing for being such horrible friends and getting him drunk off his ass. 

There is a small pressure against his arm and Lu Han blinks open bleary eyes, trying to focus. Chen is sitting on the floor opposite him, face a few inches away and looking worried. Lu Han is about to groan when he sees the slight panic flashing in Chen’s gold-flecked eyes. 

“Why do you look so scared?” Lu Han asks, reaching out instinctively and threading his fingers through Chen’s soft dark hair. 

Chen swallows and shifts, eyes flickering at Lu Han and making Lu Han’s stomach clench uncomfortably. “I thought you weren’t coming back,” Chen says, voice slightly scratchy as his fingers fuss with the edge of the seat cushion near Lu Han’s cheek. “I thought you abandoned me like my first owner, and Junmyeon.”

Lu Han blinks before suddenly realizing what Chen is referencing. Chen, the cat left in an animal shelter. Chen, left with Lu Han as Junmyeon went on a business trip. Chen, who has become more and more clinging, treating him as if he is his new owner. Chen, who has taken up almost permanent residence on his bed and in his mind. 

“Junmyeon didn’t abandon you,” Lu Han says, running his fingers through Chen’s hair comfortingly as Chen blinks back at him, clearly unconvinced. “And I won’t abandon you either. I was just out for a bit with my friends. I didn’t abandon you.”

Chen sighs and looks vaguely reassured, leaning into Lu Han’s touch and shuffling closer. Lu Han, mind still slow and slogged with alcohol, breathes in the feel of Chen’s hair against his fingers and the subtle lines of beauty that run over his face. His fingers trail unconsciously from Chen’s hair to drag over Chen’s face, caressing the lines his eyes have been burning into. 

So, so attractive. 

Chen’s breath ghosts over Lu Han’s fingers as they run along his mouth and Lu Han finally looks up and back into his eyes. They’re impossibly curious and flicker with something Lu Han hasn’t seen before. Lu Han’s fingers stop. So does his breathing. 

“What are you doing?” Chen asks, voice soft as he remains close, eyes curious.

Lu Han swallows, trying to figure out how to explain his actions, which are usually reserved for lovers or loved ones. “Human petting,” Lu Han finally manages to rasp out, throat dry as his eyes flicker back to Chen’s pink lips. “This is how humans pet the ones they like.”

“Oh,” Chen says, and presses his lips together briefly. “It’s nice,” he says finally and Lu Han’s breath catches in his chest. “Can I pet you, too?”

Lu Han can’t answer that. Chen doesn’t seem to need an answer though, as the next moment he’s reaching up and gently running his own fingers over Lu Han’s face, eyes curious as the gentle pads of his fingers glide over Lu Han’s face. Lu Han’s pulse pounds in his ears as his heart rams against his chest, eyes on Chen’s dark eyes and he’s entirely too warm. Heaving a breath, he reaches up and grabs Chen’s hand, stilling his actions. “You only pet humans you like,” Lu Han says, trying to bite back the heat pooling in his stomach as his skin burns. Whether from alcohol or from Chen’s touch or a combination Lu Han doesn’t know, and a part of him doesn’t want to. 

“But I do like you,” Chen says, and looks perplexed. 

“No, you don’t,” Lu Han says and sighs, dropping Chen’s surprised hand. “You don’t like me the way you like Junmyeon or the nice shelter ladies.”

“I do like you, Lu Han,” Chen says again, and leans forward, pressing his nose to Lu Han’s forehead briefly and Lu Han freezes. Chen draws back and cocks his head, fingers once more gently stroking Lu Han’s face. “What are friends?”

Lu Han blinks, intoxicated by alcohol and the gentle feel of Chen’s fingers on his skin, before he realizes the question. “They’re other people you spend time with. Other people you like and who like you.”

Chen frowns, fingers tapping on Lu Han’s nose and making Lu Han’s mouth quirk. “And you have these friends?” he asks, resting his chin on the edge of the couch. Lu Han reaches up absently and pushes his fingers into Chen’s hair again, stroking gently and Chen’s eyes flutter in contentment. 

“Yes, I have friends,” Lu Han sighs, eyes closing at the feeling of Chen’s hair. “They were the ones who took me out tonight. They took me out and got me drunk and-“ Lu Han bites his lip, trying to force the moment on the dance floor and the images of Chen from his mind. Chen huffs against him and Lu Han’s eyes open, looking to Chen who looks annoyed. “What?”

“I don’t like them,” Chen says, frowning at him. “I don’t like your friends.”

Lu Han blinks. “Why?”

“Because,” Chen says and sniffs imperiously. “You’re mine. I don’t want them taking you from me.”

Lu Han blinks as his heart stutters in his chest. He can feel his face growing hot but ignores it as breathing once more becomes difficult. Chen frowns more and Lu Han, for lack of a better reaction, gurgles out a laugh before dissolving into odd crying laughing as Chen eyes him in confusion and wraps a hand around his neck, mouth pulling in confused concern. 

“Why are you laughing?” Chen pouts as Lu Han rolls onto his back and lets go of Chen, Chen’s own hand slipping from him to lie on the couch limply. 

“Because of you,” Lu Han giggles, glancing over at Chen, who just looks more confused. He pokes Chen in the nose. “You’re funny.”

“No, I’m not,” Chen sniffs. “Cats aren’t funny. We’re sophisticated. And extremely territorial. I don't like sharing.”

“You’re not a cat though,” Lu Han muses, bringing his hand back to drag through his sweat stiff hair. “You’re a human.”

“I’m still territorial,” Chen grumbles and Lu Han snorts, nestling into the couch, feeling too tired and amused and drunk to actually bother going to his bed. He opens his eyes when he feels Chen paw at him in the shoulder. 

“What?” Lu Han asks. 

“Is the couch the same as your bed?” Chen asks and shifts on the floor, looking at Lu Han apprehensively. 

Lu Han blinks, frowning. “No,” Lu Han says bluntly before turning to look at Chen, blinking through the fog at the edges of his vision. “Why?”

“Good,” Chen says instead of answering and Lu Han barely has a moment to breathe before Chen is crawling onto the couch, nestling into Lu Han and curling against his chest, wiggling himself so Lu Han has no choice but to raise his arm as he shifts back in alarm, Chen’s body squirming into him. 

“What are you doing?!” Lu Han cracks out, trying to shy away from Chen as Chen practically burrows into him. 

“I’m cold,” Chen says from where he’s pressed his face into Lu Han’s chest. “You’re warm. And you don’t let me on your bed.” The vaguely sober part of Lu Han wants to shove Chen off, push him away and off the couch, as far away as possible because Lu Han cannot have Chen the cat human pressed into him when he’s spent the vast majority of the night fighting sexual images of him from his mind. But the still mostly drunk part of Lu Han finds this to be a very pleasant progression of events and fully supports wrapping his arms around Chen and pulling him closer. 

Lu Han doesn’t realize his mind has made a decision until he feels Chen’s face press softly into his neck and nuzzle gently, fingers gently kneading into his chest as Chen’s throat hums in contentment. The sound, along with the soft feeling of Chen’s hair between his fingers, lulls Lu Han to sleep as his alcohol-laced blood sings in fulfillment. 

Lu Han wakes up to pain, warmth, and fingers in his hair. Groaning, he tries to shift from his position as pain beats against his skull and his mouth tastes like he imagines road kill might. He winces as he realizes he’s on the couch, still in the same clothes as last night, and his left arm is asleep. He hears a soft noise and cracks his eyes open. Black hair swims into his vision and he frowns, trying to think through the slamming drum core in his brain. He blinks, vision clearing slightly as the piercing light streaming in through the windows assaults his eyes painfully. 

Chen is curled into him, still asleep and head pillowed on Lu Han’s arm, arms wound around Lu Han and fingers gently woven into his hair as Lu Han finds that he has one hand curled at the nape of Chen’s neck and the other fastened securely around Chen’s waist. He swallows, shifting slightly and feeling Chen tighten his grip, pulling them closer as his leg hooks around Lu Han’s waist and drags them together. Lu Han stills as Chen sighs and presses his face into Lu Han’s neck, rubbing his nose against Lu Han’s throat and sending waves of heat over him. 

That or nausea from his hangover. 

Lu Han silently hopes this is the after effects of his alcoholism and not his increasingly disturbing attraction to Chen the cat human. 

Chen seems to wake up, as he suddenly tightens his grip on Lu Han, pressing them closer together and tenses himself, shuddering slightly and fingers digging into Lu Han’s hair. He shifts and Lu Han freezes as Chen suddenly presses himself into him and Lu Han’s morning erection is brought very much to his attention. He tries very hard not to instinctively thrust into Chen’s pelvis as Chen hums and it vibrates into Lu Han’s throat. 

“What is that?” Chen murmurs into Lu Han’s throat, voice scratchy with sleep as his nails scratch gently at Lu Han’s scalp. 

Lu Han does his best to keep his breathing normal and from rocketing into erratic hyperventilation as Chen rolls slightly against him, hips pressing more against him and sending jolts up his spine. Chen seems to think pressing his face further into Lu Han’s neck and snuggling into him is appropriate. 

Lu Han groans, trying to shift away as Chen wriggles closer and using the hand Chen isn’t lying on to grab him by the hip, pushing him away slightly. “Stop,” he groans out, voice like gravel and throat parched as his head swims. 

“Stop what?” Chen asks, and shifts so he can lean into Lu Han from a new angle. 

“Stop doing that,” Lu Han grits out as Chen’s hips once more press into his now very hard cock. Heat begins to skitter along his skin and rush downwards as his head pounds along with his blood. 

“Why?” Chen asks, finally drawing his head back to look at Lu Han. Lu Han glares at him through his headache and horribly crumbling restraint. It’s too early for this. “Does it hurt?”

“No,” Lu Han grits out as Chen watches him carefully. “Just- don’t, okay?”

“What is it?” Chen asks again, looking down curiously and shuffling slightly on the couch. 

“It’s a human thing,” Lu Han sighs, grimacing as his head pounds. “Just, don’t do what you were doing. It’s not good.”

Chen looks back up at him curiously, nestling back onto the couch and careful not to press his hips into Lu Han again, instead dragging his hands from Lu Han’s hair to curl into his shirt. “Do I have the same problem?” he asks and Lu Han snorts, closing his eyes against the light. 

“I don’t know, is your penis erect?” Lu Han says, wincing at the horrible feeling of unbrushed teeth. 

“That’s your penis?” Chen asks, voice still laced with curiosity. 

“It could be a tumor, but last I checked tumors don’t cause sexual pleasure, just cancer,” Lu Han grumbles, trying to roll away from Chen but finds this hard as Chen holds him in place, hands still gripping his shirt and head firmly on his arm. Lu Han frowns, and squints at him. “Let go.”

“No,” Chen says defiantly. 

“I’m too hung over for this,” Lu Han grumbles, trying to push Chen off but Chen just clings harder. “Get off,” Lu Han says more sternly, glaring as his frame feels sticky with alcoholism and lack of proper sleep. 

“No,” Chen says again and Lu Han sighs, closing his eyes briefly before heaving himself up, Chen letting out a yelp as he topples to the ground as Lu Han finally pushes himself up and to his feet. 

“I told you to get off,” Lu Han grumbles, the pain in his head extending to his limbs. Chen glares for a moment before scrambling up and trailing after Lu Han as he walks to the kitchen. 

“You didn’t have to shove me off though,” Chen pouts and presses into Lu Han’s side when he opens the fridge. Lu Han freezes, hand on a new bottle of Gatorade. 

Chen is pressed into him fully, front against his side and arms wrapped around his waist, face pressed just below his armpit. 

Chen is also hard. 

Lu Han swallows. 

“Chen, let go,” Lu Han says, voice wavering as it scratches out of his throat. His mind seems to be on two veins of repetition. One keeps yelling CAT at him while the other is belting every sexual position he’s has ever been in or heard of at him at full volume. The rest of his head just pounds in dehydration and hatred of alcohol. 

“I don’t want to,” Chen mumbles into his chest and Lu Han fights to keep his body still, trying to breathe through the rush of blood toward his cock. 

“Yes, you do,” Lu Han grates out and grabs the bottle of Gatorade, straightening and closing the fridge, trying to pry Chen off with his free hand. 

“No, I’m marking you,” Chen growls from Lu Han’s chest and Lu Han’s eyes widen impossibly.

“You’re what?!” Lu Han squawks, now using both hands, one still holding the Gatorade, to shove Chen off. 

“I’m marking you!” Chen snaps, looking up to glare at Lu Han. “I don't want your friends thinking they can keep you.”

Lu Han chokes on his spit, trying to shove Chen off and spitting sounds as he does so. Chen fights to keep ahold of him but is finally thrown off when Lu Han chucks the Gatorade and pries him off, holding him at arms length. 

“You can’t mark me as territory!” Lu Han wheezes, trying to fight back the fire in his veins. 

“Why not?” Chen growls, grabbing at Lu Han’s arms. 

“Because I am not territory!” Lu Han yelps, panicking slightly. “I am a person! People are not territory! You can’t mark them!”

“Why not!” Chen demands again, and tries to grab to Lu Han again. 

“Oh, fuck this!” Lu Han yells, dropping his hands and jumping back from Chen, storming to the bathroom as Chen stumbles after him, sputtering, and slamming the door before Chen can follow him. Lu Han groans, sliding down the back of the door and slamming his head against the wood. 

Lu Han is attracted, incredibly attracted, to a cat human named Chen. 

Chen is currently trying to claim him as territory and mark him.

Lu Han is far too hung over for this shit. 

“Lu Han,” sounds from the other side of the door, slightly muffled. Lu Han ignores it. “Luhaaan,” sounds again and Lu Han grimaces, eyes closed as his head pounds. “Luuuhaaaaaaan-“

“What!” Lu Han snaps, feeling his pulse race. 

“When are you coming out?” Chen asks from the other side of the door. 

“Never!” Lu Han spits, dragging himself up and to the sink. He looks at his reflection. He looks like death warmed over. He downs three glasses of water before turning on the shower. He climbs in, sighing as the hot water hits him and washes away the grime and sweat from last night. Water running over him, Lu Han lets his eyes close and just breathes, trying to calm down from the constant twanging of his nerves that have been on high alert since Chen began to rub into him barely a minute after he woke up. He looks down.

Yep, still aroused. 

Lu Han groans and lets himself drop to lean against the wall of the shower, frowning at his dick. “Well, this is a problem,” he grumbles to himself, running fingers through his sopping hair. 

Lu Han is pretty sure if his penis could, it would shrug at him in a ‘well, you’re the one who’s lusting after a cat’ gesture. Lu Han almost tells his penis to shut up before he comes to the reality that he is about to get into an argument with his dick. He groans, letting his head fall back and beat against the wall in frustration. He sighs, feeling horribly dirty as he takes himself in hand, and jerks off as fast as possible, trying to conjure up images not of Chen. 

Lu Han lies to himself that he was successful as he breathes heavily, watching his cum swirl down the drain and feeling less clean than when he entered this shower. He washes a second time to try to ignore the crawl under his skin at the knowledge of Chen potentially sitting just outside the door. Lu Han stumbles from the shower, feeling marginally better, and quickly dries himself off, checking his reflection and briefly shaving, thinking only half way through that shaving while hung over is never a good idea as the razor nicks him. He loiters for a few more minutes before finally sighing and opening the door, making to stride from the bathroom but instead tripping over Chen as the other lies on the floor. 

Lu Han lets out a very loud squawk as he flies to the floor and Chen yowls. 

“Why are you on the floor!” Lu Han yelps, trying to roll away from Chen as Chen moans uselessly into the floor. 

“You tripped on me!” Chen whines. 

“You were lying in front of the door!” Lu Han gestures wildly at the floor, feeling his heart race into his throat again as he tries to scramble up. 

“That hurt!” Chen moans and looks at up Lu Han, an affronted look on his face. 

Lu Han lets out a loud frustrated sound before stomping to his room and slamming the door, dragging on boxers and jeans, throwing a tee shirt on and barely glancing at his reflection before deciding he just doesn't give a fuck today. He opens the door, checking the floor this time, before walking out into a Chen free hallway. He glances around warily, checking for any random assaults by the other, before finally making it to the kitchen. He sniffs, wincing as he still feels the stick of a hangover on his skin and the pounding in his head. He grabs some eggs, a few onions and a few other things from the fridge before turning to the stove. He glances around, waiting to hear Chen’s silly bell and frowns slightly when it’s silent. 

Lu Han shakes himself and instead cuts up some vegetables, throwing them into a fry pan carelessly before adding some of the rice from the previous morning, settling it to crackle and sizzle before cracking two eggs into it, frying them quickly into the mess in the pan before dumping a bit of sauce into the pan. He is just sighing, the smell of a food intense breakfast tickling his nose, when he feels something press into his back and hands wrap around his waist. 

“Chen-“ Lu Han begins, feeling tired still as his skin prickles at the contact. 

“Can I have some?” Chen asks, speaking into the fabric at Lu Han’s shoulder, and nestling into him. 

Lu Han presses his lips together, setting down the spatula before turning to Chen, face set even as his fingers itch at the close contact. Chen looks up at him, eyes curious. “We need to make some rules.”

“I don't like rules,” Chen says immediately and wraps his arms tighter around Lu Han. 

Lu Han frowns and pries Chen’s arms off slightly. “Well, if you want to be fed, there are rules,” he says firmly and Chen’s face falls before he looks up at Lu Han resolutely. 

“Okay.”

“First rule,” Lu Han says, trying to remove Chen’s arms from himself. “Personal space is something humans have. So you have to stop clinging to me like a second set of clothing.”

“But-“

“No more clinging!” Lu Han snaps, trying to fight down the surge in this throat as Chen’s fingernails dig into back through his shirt. “Rule two, clothing. You have to wear it.”

Chen frowns. “I am wearing clothing,” he says, shrugging in his borrowed tee shirt and boxers. 

“Real clothing,” Lu Han scratches out, once more noting Chen in his sleep shirt. 

“But I-“

“Clothing or starve!” Lu Han snaps and Chen frowns at him but doesn’t protest. Instead, Chen just digs his nails into Lu Han’s back again and Lu Han clamps his mouth closed against the gasp that fights to break out. “Rule three, you are human, so you have to start acting human.”

“But-“ Chen starts but Lu Han reaches up and clamps a hand on Chen’s mouth, silencing him.

“Human training starts today!” Lu Han almost yells, feeling far too hot as Chen’s fingers begin to knead into his back. “As soon as breakfast is over and I get a nap. Agreed?” Chen frowns at him and Lu Han glares. “Agreed?”

Chen licks Lu Han’s hand and Lu Han tries to wrench himself away, shaking his hand as the sensation sends spiders over his skin. “Fine,” Chen says, mouth freed finally and he grins when Lu Han heaves a breath at him. “Food now?”

“Spoons,” Lu Han rasps at him and turns to grab two bowls with shaking hands. 

This is most certainly not good. 

Thankfully, Chen seems to be in relative compliance with Lu Han’s rules, seeing as he barely makes protests during breakfast and eats happily, only hitting Lu Han twice with his spoon before slinking around the apartment idly as Lu Han attempts to sleep off the rest of his hangover in a sprawl on his bed. Though Lu Han does wake up at noon with Chen curled into his side yet again, sharp nails digging into him and nose shoved into his ribs. Chen scuttles off as soon as he realizes Lu Han is awake. Lu Han spends a good thirty minutes with Chen trying to find clothing he can wear before they invade Junmyeon’s closet and find Chen some proper pants (which Chen hates with a passion) and a striped shirt. 

Chen appears to be fine until Lu Han tries to drag him from the house, when he freezes. Lu Han blinks. “What?”

“I can’t go out there,” Chen says, swallowing heavily, making the collar shift on his throat as he looks out of the door, eyes fearful.

Lu Han blinks. “Why not?”

“Because,” Chen says and then snaps his mouth closed, eyes flickering to Lu Han. 

Lu Han snorts, walking out of the door and standing in the hall. “Come on, it’s not going to bite you. It’s just the hallway. Where do you think I go everyday?”

“I don’t know know,” Chen says, shifting as he eyes the doorway. “I just figured the door ate you and then got sick later because you’re too hard to digest. You’re like a hairball, but worse.”

Lu Han stares at Chen, just trying to process that statement before finally coughing, reaching forward and dragging Chen into the hallway. Chen gives a soft sort of yelp as he is dragged through the door, stumbling before his feet hit the ground outside and he goes rigid. Lu Han looks at him, muscles tense and hunched as he looks at Lu Han with wide eyes. “See? Not dead,” Lu Han says brightly, grinning. 

Chen’s eyes just flicker wildly around as Lu Han swings the door shut. Chen eyes it helplessly. 

“Try taking a step,” Lu Han says, putting a hand on Chen’s shoulder. “It’s okay, you won’t explode.”

Chen’s eyes flicker to Lu Han before he tries to lift his foot, moving hesitantly before setting it down before him as if the floor will erupt or collapse under him. He slowly tests the ground with his toes before finally setting down his foot with a sigh. He looks up at Lu Han, who grins. 

“See? You’re doing so well,” Lu Han says, grinning as Chen tries to take another step and resists shoving Chen over. Chen takes another hesitant step and then pauses, shoulders relaxing slightly before he looks back up at Lu Han. 

“Okay,” Chen says, sighing heavily. “Can we go home now?”

Lu Han snorts. “No,” he says, and grabs Chen by the arm, hauling him forward as he lets out a helpless gasp. “We’re getting groceries and then doing errands.”

“I don’t want-“

“Rules!” Lu Han yells to the elevator as they arrive at it, turning and grinning at Chen. “Remember the rules.”

“Fuck the rules!” Chen squeaks out, looking terrified as he glances around warily, pressing closely to Lu Han’s side as the elevator dings. “I like home. Let’s go back there. I don’t like this strange-“

“Lesson one,” Lu Han says, shoving Chen into the elevator. “Elevators.” Lu Han grins as Chen stumbles into the metal box and looks absolutely terrified, form going rigid once more as he looks around frantically before flattening himself to the wall, hands gripping the railing. Lu Han grins as he walks in himself, pressing them ‘one’ button and turning to Chen. “Today is going to be so much fun.”

“I’ll pee on you,” Chen says through clenched teeth.

“Please don’t,” Lu Han says, cheerfully, petting Chen’s head happily and Chen swats at him agitatedly, beginning to hyperventilate. “I like not smelling of piss.”

They go to the grocery store first, which terrifies Chen at first with all its loud sounds and weird smells and he latches onto Lu Han’s side as they wander around. Lu Han lets him, considering as soon as he leaves Chen on his own, Chen seizes up like some sort of horrific human statue and looks like he may shit himself in terror. The cashier looks at them with a really high raised eyebrow. 

Lu Han smiles at her pleasantly, asking for paper rather than plastic. 

She gives him a raised look before looking at Chen, who is wrapped so tight to Lu Han’s side it looks like he may never come off. “Is there a reason he’s latched onto you like that?” she asks, as Chen watches her scan items in rapt fascination, eyes flashing over each item. 

Lu Han shrugs, digging into his wallet. “He’s just one of those new mail order brides, or husband things,” he says causally, dragging out a few bills and looking back up at the cashier with a smile. She is looking at him with her mouth open. “You know, from, like, Indonesia? They come to you brain washed. It’s like child abduction but you marry them instead.” Lu Han smiles at her beautifully as she looks at Chen and seems to gag on her chewing gum. “I have coupons, also,” he adds as Chen pokes at the gum display in curiosity. 

Lu Han tries not to laugh as the girl seems to be fighting back a minor freak out and he picks up their groceries, happily leading Chen from the market as Chen stumbles after him, hands latched on his shoulders frantically. “Can we go home now?” Chen whines, pressing into Lu Han’s back as he pauses at the cross walk and waits for the light, burying his head between Lu Han’s shoulder blades.

“We are just dropping off the groceries,” Lu Han says, smiling despite himself as he feels Chen wrap into his back and whimper. He thinks back absently to all the time he came home to Chen the cat shredding his sports magazines. Payback.

“But we're going home,” Chen says, voice faint. 

“Then going back out,” Lu Han says over his shoulder, looking down at Chen and smiling. 

“Why?” Chen demands, pressing harder into Lu Han’s back and he feels his stomach jump. 

“Because you’re coming to work with me tomorrow and you need to act normal,” Lu Han says, swallowing as his skin prickles. 

“I am going to work with you tomorrow?” Chen asks, eyes curious. 

“Yes,” Lu Han says, walking forward as the light changes and Chen stumbles, still latched onto him. “Now you have to let go. People are staring. Human’s don’t hold onto each other.”

“I’m marking you,” Chen defends, but lets go somewhat, instead holding onto Lu Han’s arm firmly as they walk and staying close. 

Lu Han sighs, shifting his grip on the groceries. “Human’s don’t mark each other,” he tells Chen, glancing down. 

“Sure they do,” Chen says, looking up at him before glancing around. “See, they’re marking each other,” he says, nodding towards a young couple ahead of them, the girl with her arms wrapped around her boyfriends arms tightly as they walk. “I can smell them from here.”

Lu Han blinks, turning swiftly to Chen. “You can smell them?”

“Yeah,” Chen says, blinking at him in confusion. “Can’t you? They clearly want to mate. She is basically in heat and he’s already got his scent all over her.”

Lu Han’s eyes widen. If Chen can smell that, then… “Wait, what do I smell like?”

Chen pauses, frowning at him and Lu Han stops. “You smell like Lu Han,” Chen says. “Though you smelled weird last night, like a lot of other people and that weird drink you and Junmyeon like. You also smelled sick.”

Lu Han purses his lips before once more walking towards the apartment. “So you can still smell like a cat.”

“You can technically smell them too,” Chen says absently, a little more relaxed as he looks around curiously. “You just don’t know what it is you’re smelling, so you don’t notice it. But you still smell it.”

“So you can smell when I want to mate, huh?” Lu Han asks, tossing the thought around in his mind as Chen becomes distracted by a woman selling vegetables. 

“Yeah, but you often smell like you want to mate, so I mostly ignore it,” Chen says and Lu Han stumbles over his own feet. Chen looks at him curiously and Lu Han coughs to hide the horrible flush on his face. They arrive home a few minutes later after Lu Han has dragged Chen away from staring at the mailboxes in wonder and he shoves the groceries away quickly, Chen flitting about and poking at everything before Lu Han bats him away agitatedly. Chen finally wanders away and Lu Han finds him curled up in the bathtub poking at the drain. 

“Get out of there,” Lu Han sighs, looking down and feeling tired. His body still hurts from the previous night of drinking. 

“But it’s so weird,” Chen says, eyeing the faucet at it drips. “Can we just stay here?”

“Do you want another bath?” Lu Han asks, leaning against the door and folding his arms. 

Chen scrambles from the tub without another word and marches to the door, where he stands and waits for Lu Han, toeing the floor with his shoes. 

Chen complains about his shoes the rest of the day, as Lu Han takes him to the post office, bank, local café, stationary store, and Lu Han has just about had enough of hearing about sticky toes when they arrive at a park. Lu Han fights down this irritation crawling up his spine as Chen mostly ignores him as he tries to instruct him how to put a stamp on an envelope and cross a street without dying on his own in favor of telling Lu Han how itchy his pants are. Lu Han keeps biting back sighs as he grabs Chen’s hands and prevents him from washing himself out of habit. 

“When in doubt, wash,” Chen says blandly to Lu Han and Lu Han closes his eyes to keep from shoving Chen into the line of traffic. 

Lu Han finally snaps when Chen, rather than noticing how to properly conduct a handshake, rolls his shoulders and complains about how uncomfortable and itchy socks are and how much he hates shoes.

“Would you shut up about the shoes?” Lu Han snaps, waving his hands in annoyance at Chen, who just looks at him blandly. 

“But they’re uncomfortable,” Chen whines, and kicks Lu Han in the shin. Lu Han presses his mouth into a line, trying to resist taking Chen by the head and shaking him vigorously. “Also, I’ve been wondering about something,” Chen continues as he shifts his weight.

“Why you’re so obnoxious? Because I’ve been wondering that too,” Lu Han spits out, trudging to a bench and not even looking to see if Chen is following him. He knows he is without checking. 

“No,” Chen says, huffing as he scampers after Lu Han. “Why don’t you wear a collar? I haven’t seen any other humans wearing collars.”

Lu Han blinks before his eyes flash down at the black band still around Chen’s neck, the identity tag flashing in the sunlight and bell resting gently against his skin. “Because we know how to get home if we get lost,” Lu Han says. “And we own ourselves. People own pets.”

“Can I own you?” Chen asks and Lu Han tries to ignore the squirming in his gut. 

“No,” Lu Han grates out.

“But you own me,” Chen says, frowning. 

“No, Junmyeon owns you,” Lu Han says and swallows around the lump in his throat, his eyes on the collar. 

“Why don’t you own me?” Chen asks, cocking his head to the side as he shifts beside Lu Han. 

“Because I don’t,” Lu Han blurts out and clenches his hands at his side. Chen raises an eyebrow. “It doesn’t matter. Pets have collars. Human’s don’t.”

“Then I don’t need a collar anymore,” Chen says, and reaches up to finger the black band around his neck. “If I’m human now, I don’t need a collar. I don’t belong to anyone. No one has marked me as theirs, so-“ his fingers run along the collar and he frowns, looking up at Lu Han. “Take it off.”

Lu Han swallows, his eyes on the black band around Chen’s neck as his mouth goes slightly dry. Chen eyes him. “Take if off yourself,” Lu Han shoots back, turning to slouch on the bench. 

“I want you to take it off,” Chen huffs, fingers scrabbling at his collar as he glowers at Lu Han. “I don't want it anymore. Junmyeon doesn’t own me and you don’t want to own me so why do I need a collar?”

Lu Han looks over at him, frowning. “Because you’ll get lost and someone needs to know how to bring you home.”

“So humans will read my collar and think ‘wow, this human is fine, he’s just lost’ and not find it weird at all when no other humans have collars?” Chen shoots back and Lu Han presses his mouth into a line. 

“Fine,” Lu Han concedes, reaching over to Chen’s neck and to his collar, fingers dragging over the band to the clasp and tugging it free, finally letting it drop from Chen’s neck and leaving it bare. Chen’s neck seems impossibly naked without the collar interrupting the smooth stretch of skin and Lu Han swallows, licking dry lips as his finger ghost over where the collar was and Chen watches him carefully, eyes almost expectant. “There,” Lu Han says, voice slightly scratchy as he finally looks up from Chen’s naked neck. Somehow, the removal of the collar seems to make Chen look entirely bare despite him wearing more clothing than he’s worn the entire time that he’s been human. “No more collar. No one owns you.”

“Good,” Chen says, breath puffing against Lu Han’s face and he realizes how close they are. Chen glances down and plucks the collar from Lu Han’s hands, reaching forward and draping it around Lu Han’s neck instead. “Now I own you.”

Lu Han blinks before jerking back, feeling the collar drape around his neck, unfastened. “My name isn’t Chen,” he says, frowning. “That’s your name.”

“No,” Chen says, poking at the collar and frowning. “Now you have my name on you. People know I own you.”

Lu Han blinks and then bursts out laughing, leaning backwards and away from a very surprised Chen. Chen tries to grab at him as he takes the collar from his neck and shoves it into his pocket. “You don’t own me,” Lu Han says, still laughing as he stands up. “We’re going home.”

“Why?” Chen asks, frowning up at Lu Han. 

“Because you are being silly and I want dinner,” Lu Han says, shoving his hands into his pockets and walking away, grinning as he hears Chen stumble up behind him. They spend the time waiting for rice and soup to cook trying to find Chen a comfortable pair of shoes. They finally find one suitable pair before Chen comes upon Junmyeon’s collection of shoe lifts and becomes completely enraptured. Lu Han watches him stumble around the apartment with the lifts and teetering at his newfound height. He grins delightedly when he finds that he and Lu Han are almost the same height. 

“You’re not wearing those tomorrow,” Lu Han says, pushing Chen in the shoulder and watching as he stumbles awkwardly. “The wind might blow you over.”

“I’m as tall as you,” Chen says, grinning widely and leaning into Lu Han’s personal space. 

“Rule one personal space,” Lu Han says as Chen looms closer to him. Chen huffs but leans back before shuffling off and tripping over himself, sending him nearly face first into the floor. Lu Han snorts and goes back to cooking. Over dinner, Lu Han drills Chen on proper human behavior. Chen gets about 20% correct and hits Lu Han six times with his spoon. Lu Han hits him three times and Chen always flails when he does, making Lu Han grin. 

“You need a new name,” Lu Han muses as he sits on the couch, slouched and elbows on his knees as he watches Chen lazily bat at one of his old cat toys on the floor. 

“Why?” Chen asks, looking up at Lu Han lazily before rolling onto his back and sighing, hands resting gently on his stomach. His shirt rides up slightly above the waistline of his jeans and Lu Han stares at the strip of skin lazily. “What’s wrong with Chen? I like my name.”

“But people know Junmyeon has a cat named Chen,” Lu Han says as Chen shifts and the shirt pulls up more. Skin flashes and Lu Han’s mind wanders. “You need a different name or it’s weird.”

“But I am Junmyeon’s cat,” Chen says, and stretches his arms over his head, making the shirt rise up over his belly button as his body flexes impossibly and Lu Han swallows, finally tearing his eyes from Chen’s bared skin to look at his face. Chen is watching him with a bored expression. 

“But we can’t tell people you’re Junmyeon’s cat,” Lu Han says, sighing and flopping back into the couch. “They’d think we’re insane.”

“But you are insane,” Chen says and rolls onto his side. 

“Hush you,” Lu Han says, toeing Chen in the chest and Chen flops back to the ground with a huff. Lu Han smirks to himself before settling back into the couch, head resting against the cushions and staring at the ceiling. “A new name for Chen,” he muses to himself, frowning at the cracked plaster. “What’s a new name for you?”

There’s a light touch against Lu Han’s thigh and he ignores it before something suddenly flops into his lap and he jumps, jerking upright to look at Chen, who has dropped himself almost entirely into Lu Han’s lap and is looking at him lazily. “What are you doing?” Lu Han asks, feeling his pulse rocket into acceleration. 

“Sitting,” Chen says, looking up at him with a completely innocent expression. “What does it look like?”

Lu Han’s skin prickles as Chen shifts his weight, settling further into Lu Han’s lap. “Sit somewhere else,” Lu Han says, moving to push Chen off of his lap. 

“But I want to sit on your lap,” Chen says and wiggles further into Lu Han’s legs, earning him a strangled groan. 

“Stop. Doing. That,” Lu Han grates out, teeth clenched nearly as hard as his hands on Chen’s hips. Chen just blinks, looking at Lu Han’s frowning face for a moment before flopping into him and curling under his chin, snuggled into his chest. “What- no. Get off.”

“I’ve never sat in your lap before,” Chen says, fingers curling into Lu Han’s shirt as he finally stills and just settles gently against Lu Han, warm against his front. “You have a nice lap.”

Lu Han pauses, shifting to look down at Chen, hands releasing slightly on Chen’s waist as he stop trying to shove him off. It’s very warm with Chen, sitting on him, but Chen isn’t extraordinarily heavy. And it’s almost nice to have him warm and curled up against him, breaths gently ghosting ove-

Lu Han swallows as he feels his throat constrict and heat flare up from the center of his chest through the rest of him, tickling along his limbs and focusing south. “You can’t sit here.”

“But why not?” Chen asks, shifting so he can frown up at Lu Han. “I want to. And I’ve never sat here before. Plus, it’s not like someone else is sitting here.”

Lu Han bites the inside of his cheek, trying to keep from launching Chen from his lap with a particularly bold pelvic thrust. “Humans do not sit in each others laps,” Lu Han says, clearing his throat harshly when his voice comes out strained. 

“Sure they do,” Chen says, turning his head to look at the television, which Lu Han turned on absently about an hour earlier. “See? They’re sitting on each others laps.” He nods his head at the flashing images of a television movie, where a couple is chatting idly together, the girl seated casually in the boys lap as they talk and gently stroking his hair. Chen turns back to Lu Han and smiles. “I’m just trying to be more human.”

Air seems in short supply in Lu Han’s lungs and he swallows, trying to fight down the burn in his throat. “But-“

“I’m just sitting,” Chen huffs, once more curling into Lu Han’s chest and nestling his head under Lu Han’s chin. “I’m not doing anything bad.” He sighs, and the breath plays against the skin of Lu Han’s throat, sending shivers over his body. 

Lu Han wants to shove Chen off and send him sprawling to the floor. 

Lu Han wants to wrap his arms around Chen and pull him closer, threading his fingers in Chen’s hair and stroking through that hair, nestling his nose into dark strands. 

Lu Han wants to drag Chen’s face back up to his and kiss him hard on the mouth, turning and flipping Chen into the couch so he can crawl over him and make him moan like the whore he’s acting like. 

Lu Han closes his eyes and breathes through his nose at the images that sear through his mind. Chen continues to lie against his chest. After a few deep calming breaths, Lu Han finally opens his eyes again and picks up the remote, changing the channel to something, anything else. He ends up settling on the discovery channel, which is showing some sort of special on ant colonies. Something that is completely unarousing. 

Lu Han sighs, letting his mind focus on the program as his hand absently comes up after a moment and threads into Chen’s hair, smoothing down the strands and scratching lightly over scalp. There’s something oddly relaxing about running his fingers through Chen’s hair and he slowly lulls himself into a slouch, relaxed and comfortable against the couch as Chen remains snuggled into his chest, occasionally humming as Lu Han’s fingers brush against his ears. 

A smile slowly spreads on Lu Han’s face as he feels himself slowly drag into a doze, eyes slipping shut as he feels pleasantly warm and content, the warm comforting weight of Chen against him. He hums gently when he feels Chen shift in his lap, snuggling further into him and wraps his other arm around him as Chen nuzzles his face into Lu Han’s neck gently, nose dragging up his throat. His eyes fly wide, however, when he feels something much hotter, wetter, and insistent drag over the sensitive skin of his neck. Jerking back, he shoves Chen from himself, holding him firmly by the shoulders and trying to calm his happily pounding heart. 

“What are you doing?!” Lu Han gasps out, trying to stop his skin from flaring at the feeling of a tongue against his throat and all the other places that tongue could run up. 

“Marking you,” Chen says, as if this is the most obvious thing in the world. 

“By dragging your tongue up my throat?” Lu Han gags out, trying to keep his grip firm and tone steady even though his body shakes at the sensation still. 

“You can do it to me too, if you like,” Chen says without skipping a beat and Lu Han momentarily loses the ability to breathe as he imagines how running his tongue up Chen’s smooth stretch of neck may feel. 

He’s a cat. He was a cat. He still is kind of a cat. He is a cat human thing. He doesn’t realize what he’s doing. He’s marking you. He’s. A. Cat.

Lu Han scrambles out from under Chen as fast as he can, Chen looking at him in confusion as Lu Han shakes himself vigorously before stalking to his room and throwing himself onto his bed, snatching up a nearby Do-it-yourself English! book and burying himself in it, trying to focus on past perfect indicative rather than how Chen’s moans would feel against his tongue as they vibrated through his throat. 

Lu Han has very compromising dreams. 

Lu Han wakes up with Chen wrapped around him and a rock hard dick and yelps as he fights frantically and ends up throwing them both to the floor before hurtling into the bathroom and trying to drown himself in his shower as he wanks and repeats ‘drink, drank, drunk’ over and over to the shower head. He comes to gold flecked eyes and spends the rest of his time in the bathroom grumbling to himself and stomping around, glaring angrily at his reflection and telling himself he has to stop this nonsense before he rapes an unsuspecting cat and is accused for bestiality. Lu Han doesn’t want to be sentenced to twenty five years in prison where he becomes the bitch of some large hulking man named 'Bruce'.

“Lu Han!” 

“What?!” Lu Han flares out, throwing his arms and knocking a spare roll of toilet paper in the toilet. “Fuck!”

“Am I really going to work with you today?”

Lu Han still, hand half submerged in toilet water as he tries to fish out the toilet paper and looks to the door. He’d almost forgotten about that. “Yes, you’re coming to work with me,” Lu Han says, and feels his body tingle at the idea of Chen pressing into his side curiously all day again. 

“Oh,” Chen says and Lu Han scrunches up his face, dragging the toilet paper from the toilet and throwing it into the trash, grimacing at the water dripping from his hands. “Do I need another bath to go out?”

Lu Han freezes, hand under the tap as he tries to wash off toilet water before turning slowly to the door. Leaving the water running, he strides to the door and wrenches it open. Chen is standing on the other side, naked, and looking, for once, self-conscious. Lu Han lets out a horrible choking sound before slamming the door closed and throwing himself against it, breathing heavily as his cock twitches in curiosity. “You stay out of this!” Lu Han snaps at his genitals before dragging a hand over his face and opening the door again. Chen is still there, looking slightly skittish. 

“You said humans bathe regularly, and-“ Chen takes a shuddering breath. “I don’t really know how.”

“Get in,” Lu Han fights out as his tongue swells in his mouth. Lu Han reaches over and turns on the tap, sending water cascading into the tub as Chen eyes it warily. “Your name is Jongdae, today,” Lu Han continues, busying himself with soaps and determinately not looking at Chen as he tries to focus on bath things. 

“Jongdae,” Chen repeats, rolling the name on his tongue and crouching down next to Lu Han. “It sounds weird.”

“Well, you’re weird, so it’s a perfect match,” Lu Han says, nudging Chen with his shoulder. “Get in. Use that-“ he points to the shampoo “to wash your hair like this.” Lu Han mimes washing hair. “Then use that-“ he points to the soap “to wash the rest of you. Close your eyes and dunk yourself into the water to wash it out.”

Chen blinks at him, face flushing slightly. “You’re not going to help me?”

Lu Han sighs, standing up and staring at the shower curtain angrily. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

Lu Han doesn’t answer. Instead he just strides from the bathroom, skin prickling horribly as his breathing fights with his heart beat in his chest and he dresses agitatedly. Chen takes a good twenty minutes before he’s emerging from the bathroom, looking curious but clean and wrapped in three towels. Lu Han tells him to get dresses and does not stare at his legs hungrily over a bowl of cereal. Chen shows up later in Junmyeon’s jeans, one of Lu Han’s light sweaters, and Junmyeon’s shoes. He’s apparently shoved the shoe lifts in the shoes as well, seeing as he’s much taller and unbalanced than usual and Lu Han just sighs before shoving a bowl of cereal at him and telling him to eat. Chen eats quickly before wandering into the living room and sprawling on the floor, batting vaguely at his old favorite toy before looking up at Lu Han, who is flopped on the couch with an arm over his face. 

“The toys were more interesting when I was a cat,” Chen says conversationally and Lu Han drops the hand from his face. 

“Well, isn’t that a pity,” Lu Han says, watching as Chen pokes at the toy. “Maybe if I wave it around for you, you’ll like it more.”

“Would you?” Chen asks, cocking his head to the side. 

“No,” Lu Han says flatly, and Chen’s shoulders droop. 

Lu Han drags Chen out of the house and Chen once more flattens himself to the wall of the elevator in panic, making Lu Han smile in amusement. They arrive at the book store slightly earlier than Lu Han’s shift and Tao stares at them as they walk in, jaw open slightly as he eyes Chen. Lu Han briefly introduces Chen in a grumble to Tao and Jongin, who looks up and gives a small nod before going back to Anipang and Chen scuttles behind Lu Han timidly as Tao tries to get a better look at him. 

“Who did you say he was?” Tao asks, watching as Chen starts and looks around frantically every time the door opens and a bell sounds. 

“He’s my pet,” Lu Han says idly, looking over the inventory list of a new shipment they just got in. “I keep him well fed and watered. Sometimes pet him. You know, normal human possession stuff.”

“Ha ha, you’re hilarious,” Tao scoffs, rolling his eyes before looking once more at Chen. “He looks so cute. Since when did you bring your boyfriends to work? I thought you didn’t do the whole commitment thing.”

Lu Han huffs and drops the inventory list to the counter, turning the Tao with a scowl. “He’s not my boyfriend,” he grates out, frowning at Tao. “He’s just-“ he looks over at Chen who is eyeing Tao warily from behind the rack of post cards. “Special.”

“Well, whatever he is, he seems to like you,” Tao says, smiling brightly at Chen and waving. Chen gives a small little jump before skittering off to the children’s section and running into Jongin as the other emerges from a row of books, holding an armful of plushies. Tao snorts and Lu Han sighs, going back to the inventory list. Tao wanders off a few minutes later and Lu Han ignores him, instead checking over the numbers of books and items on the list before he feels a familiar pressure against his side. 

“What?” Lu Han asks, without bothering to look up.

“I think that one is going to kill us,” Chen says, voice low as he crouches into Lu Han’s side, looking around frantically. 

“Tao won’t kill you. Tao cries when you swat at bumblebees,” Lu Han says idly, frowning as the number of Steve Jobs biographies comes up short. “He just looks scary.”

“I think he likes the darker one,” Chen continues, shuffling closer to Lu Han and peering into the bookstore, where Tao is trying to engage Jongin in conversation and Jongin is holding a stuffed pink elephant and looking confused. “He smells like he’s attracted.”

“Really? His smell gave it away?” Lu Han says, glancing up at his two coworkers. “Not his excessive googely eyes and stupid smiling? Because I noticed those first myself.”

“Do you think Jongin knows?” Chen asks, shifting at Lu Han’s side and leaning into the counter vaguely. 

“No idea,” Lu Han says. “He seems a bit on the slow side. Though that may just be because he’s constantly half asleep.”

Chen makes a soft humming sound before detaching from Lu Han, wandering off into the store. Lu Han catches himself watching him walk off lazily before shaking his head, turning back to his list with a frown. Tao comes over a few minutes, smirking. “Not dating my arse.”

“Shut up, you’re hard for Ambien’s poster-boy,” Lu Han says, scowling as he shoves a pile of books into Tao’s grinning face. 

“Do you think Jongin knows I like him?” Tao asks, poking his head over the books. 

“Well, he does stare at your ass sometimes,” Lu Han says, propping a hip against the counter and crossing his arms. “Though that may just be because you wave it around like a flag as soon as Sistar comes on.”

Tao turns beet red and sputters, shuffling off to restock the books and Lu Han grins to himself, wandering off to try to find Chen. He finds him in the realistic fiction section, books scattered around him, and pawing carefully at a Chuck Palahniuk book. “What are you doing?”

Chen looks up at him, eyes fascinated. “What are these?”

“Books,” Lu Han says, crouching down with him and watching as Chen’s fingers gracefully trace up the spine of the book. 

“What do you do with them? Do you eat them?” Chen asks, looking up at Lu Han again and Lu Han snatches the book from his hands reactively. 

“No, you don’t eat them,” Lu Han says quickly, before sighing. “You read them.”

Chen frowns. “I don't know how to read,” he says and Lu Han blinks. 

Oh, right. Cat. 

“Can you teach me how to read?” Chen asks, leaning forward and laying a gentle hand on the book, fingers resting against Lu Han’s.

Lu Han feels heat rise in his face at the gentle innocent contact and tries to keep from curling his fingers around Chen’s. “Sometime, sure.”

Chen smiles brilliant and Lu Han has to pull himself away and walk a few laps around the store swiftly to keep from dragging Chen into his arms and not letting go for a very long time. 

They pack up around seven, Lu Han closing the shop today as Jongin opened this morning, and Tao gives Lu Han a silly sort of wave, trying to coo a goodbye to Chen before Chen lodges himself in Lu Han’s back. Tao looks vaguely confused and put out but Lu Han waves him off, telling him ‘Jongdae’ will probably be hanging out with them for a few days at work while he stays with Lu Han. 

Chen keeps a firm but slightly distanced hold on Lu Han during the trip home and wanders off completely as they get home, Lu Han watching him with a small frown before going to make dinner. He calls for Chen when dinner is done and they eat sprawled in the living room, Lu Han firing questions at Chen about human behavior and Chen answers with relative degrees of snide concerning the human species. He gets 47% correct and Lu Han smiles into his bulgogi. 

Chen crawls into his lap again around nine with a book in his hands and Lu Han barely has a moment of protesting when Chen shoves the book in his face and demands to know how to read. Lu Han finally sighs after ten minutes of argument and slowly teaches Chen the Hangeul alphabet, gently outlining the characters on Chen’s palm and pointing them out on the page. Chen frowns as he tries to repeat the syllables carefully and grins once he manages to get through a full sentence without mistakes. Feeling accomplished, Chen snuggles again into Lu Han and Lu Han turns on Die Hard to try to distract himself as Chen traces patterns of Hangeul in his chest and instead just runs his fingers through Chen’s now soft and very clean hair. 

Lu Han wakes up on Monday to Chen rubbing against his bare chest with his face, mouth catching on skin and eliciting a moan before Lu Han fully wakes and yelps from bed, throwing Chen to the floor and toppling into the bathroom where he sits in the tub and grumbles about provocative cat humans and marking. Chen is frowning when Lu Han leaves the bathroom, hair sopping and skin still prickling from the images of smooth skin that blazed in his mind as he jacked off. 

“Why do you do that?” Chen huffs angrily, glaring at Lu Han. 

Lu Han blinks. “Do what?”

“Wash my scent off!” Chen demands, stomping his foot and grabbing Lu Han by the towel at his waist and jerking him forward. “I spent half the morning marking you so your weird friends won’t get any ideas! And then there you go washing it all off so you smell like you and only you!”

Lu Han blinks, feeling hot as Chen leans into him insistently. “I didn’t-“

But Chen cuts him off with an angry growl and stomps away, shoulders hunched and looking thoroughly pissed off. Lu Han stands, feeling horribly odd in the door of the bathroom, before shaking himself and walking to his bedroom, throwing on clothing and gelling his hair so it doesn’t look as if he’s just stepped out of a wind turbine before he wanders to the kitchen. 

Chen has set out the cereal and bowls and is already half way through his own breakfast, sitting at the table and frowning at the book Lu Han gave him the previous night. Lu Han blinks before setting himself some food and eating. Chen continues to act pissy all morning, earning him a raised look from Tao and a bored blink from Jongin as Chen walks in and flumps down in the children’s section, opening up a kids book and slowly mouthing the words on the page. 

“Lover’s spat?” Tao asks, cocking his head at Lu Han as he watches Chen. 

“We’re not lovers,” Lu Han grates out, smiling through his teeth at a customer as she wanders in. 

Tao gives him a patronizing look full of sass before he flounces over to the children’s section and tries to sit down next to Chen. Chen is so involved in his book he doesn’t realize he has company until Tao is beside him, at which point he jumps a near foot in the air and bolts away, running into a stack of Artemis Fowl novels and tumbling into a bean bag chair before hurtling to the audio books. Tao looks extremely despairing and Lu Han grins at the screen saver. 

Lu Han doesn't grin for much of the rest of the morning though, as Chen continues to ignore him and instead shoves himself in the romance section (where he’s figured out Tao will not venture) and stacked children’s fairy tales around himself. He glares at Lu Han whenever he walks by and Jongin finally approaches him at lunch and asks what he did to his boyfriend because Chen looks like he’s never putting out again. Lu Han smacks him with gift-wrapping paper. 

Tao goes home first at five, waving at Lu Han and trying to say goodbye to Chen (he’s not really successful) and giving a small shy smile to Jongin, who surprisingly returns it. Lu Han gives him a weird sideways look. Jongin just shrugs and mutters something about ‘animal magnetism’ and ‘tight pants’ before shuffling off to the biographies section, blushing brightly. 

Lu Han finally drags Chen home, scowling himself at the avoidance he’s been tolerating all day, at six and Chen bitches at him the whole way, complaining that Junmyeon’s shoes smell and how hungry he is. 

“What the fuck is your problem?” Lu Han finally spits out, shoving Chen roughly into the apartment and feeling his entire system on edge. 

“I didn’t want this!” Chen snaps, turning and glaring at Lu Han. “I didn’t want to turn into a human just so you could reject me instead of the other way around.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Lu Han sputters, feeling slightly hysteric. Chen doesn’t answer, just huffs in annoyance and stalks into the apartment, feet rough on the floor as Lu Han flails a little in aggravation. 

Lu Han heats up a frozen pizza for dinner and shoves a plate at Chen, walking to his own room and sitting at his computer, wasting time on tumblr before sighing, grabbing his plate, and walking into the living room. Chen is curled on one end of the couch, staring at one of the children’s books he was reading today. 

Lu Han sighs. “You weren’t supposed to take that home,” Lu Han says, feeling tired as he flops into the couch and toes Chen with his foot. 

“Well, it’s hard to read the other books,” Chen huffs over the cover of his book, frowning at Lu Han. 

Lu Han frowns before running a hand through his still styled hair and settling back on the couch, switching on the television and scanning the channels, finally settling on a random channel which is showing the Lord of the Rings movies. The hobbits ft. Aragorn or Strider or whatever the fuck he’s called just got to Rivendell and Aragorn is getting mushy emotional at Arowen when Lu Han feels a soft brush at his hip before Chen is once more slipping onto him, nestling gently against his chest. 

Lu Han breathes through the flare the contact causes, eyes on the movie as Chen situates himself in Lu Han’s slouchy lap, head coming to rest under his chin as he still grips the book. His eyes are on the television though and after a moment of weird elfish, Lu Han starts at the feel of gentle fingers running along his face. He looks down in surprise to see Chen watching him, eyes flickering every few seconds to the screen before fixating back on Lu Han. 

“What are you doing?” Lu Han breathes out, looking down at Chen and feeling warmth spread from where Chen’s fingers graze. 

“Learning how to pet like a human,” Chen says softly before looking back up at Lu Han. 

“Human’s don’t pet like this,” Lu Han says, voice dropping slightly as Chen’s eyes burn into him. 

“They’re petting like this,” Chen says, glancing at the television as Arowen and Aragorn get sappy. “I’m just trying to be human.” 

Lu Han gasps as Chen’s fingers trace down his neck and his hand comes automatically to Chen’s waist, resting there as his skin prickles. “They’re not human, they’re from Middle Earth,” Lu Han says, the words useless in his mouth as Chen looks up at him in careful study. 

“But they pet like humans,” Chen says, his eyes flickering on Lu Han’s face before he suddenly leans up and presses his mouth to Lu Han’s, fingers sliding swiftly to cup the back of Lu Han’s neck and pull him down. 

Fire. Hot liquid fire races up Lu Han’s back and over his skin, breathing catching in his chest as his mind freezes at the feel of Chen’s mouth against his and his eyes close, a soft gasp stilling in his throat at how fucking amazing Chen’s mouth feels. How soft, how hot, and how goddamn perfect it feels pressed against his. He leans down, pressing into it and wrapping a hand in Chen’s hair, fingers clenching at dark strands and Chen moans, the sound low in his throat and vibrating against Lu Han’s mouth, sending bolts through his chest. 

Chen pulls back after a second and Lu Han cracks his eyes open, feeling hazed and not at all ready for the kiss to end. Chen is looking at him carefully, a puzzled expression on his face as his eyes darken around their gold. 

Gold. 

Gold cat eyes. 

Lu Han feels as if he’s just been dumped in a bath of cold water as he freezes, Chen’s fingers still wrapped around his neck and body pressed close. “You don’t do that,” Lu Han grates out, trying to fight through the haze in his mind, which is screaming at him to just kiss Chen again instead of bother with verbalization. Chen blinks and Lu Han licks his lips, eyes flashing to Chen’s mouth. “You don’t kiss unless you like someone.”

“But I do like you,” Chen says, trying to lean in again and Lu Han, with a massive amount of willpower and strength, holds him at bay. 

“You only kiss people you want to mate with,” Lu Han blunders out and Chen blinks. 

“Why do you think I’ve been trying to mark you?” Chen asks, with a patronizing look, and Lu Han barely has a moment to let that sentence register in his mind before Chen is dragging their mouths together again, clumsily kissing him with hesitant presses of his lips as Lu Han finally stops trying to convince himself that he is not lusting after Chen with every fiber of his being. 

Because Chen is a cat human and thus walks and acts with enough seduction and sass to turn any humans head. And Lu Han kind of just doesn’t give a fuck anymore. 

Lu Han takes over, pressing kisses to Chen’s mouth and tilting them slightly so the angle isn’t so awkward, as he drags his tongue along Chen’s mouth. Chen gasps and Lu Han wastes no time in licking in, tasting Chen around sharp teeth and a hesitant tongue. Chen leans back, seeming hesitant to this new contact and Lu Han pauses, releasing Chen slight as he cracks open his eyes. 

Chen is looking at him, eyes dark and breaths fast against Lu Han’s mouth. “It’s different,” he pants, fingers tangling in the hair at Lu Han’s neck. “It’s different from the other petting.”

“I know,” Lu Han says, his own voice breathy to his ears and lower than it has been in a long while as his skin hums, aching to press against Chen again. “We can stop.”

“No,” Chen says quickly and presses closer. “No, human affection is nice.” He takes a shuddering breath as Lu Han’s fingers twitch at his waist. “Human petting is nice. I like it.” 

“Oh,” Lu Han says just as Chen leans in again, claiming his mouth and tentatively poking a tongue out as Lu Han deepens the kiss, pressing harder into Lu Han and shifting into him. Lu Han groans as Chen’s fingers dig into his scalp and drag, harsh and insistent down his back, Chen’s hips digging into his lap and making other bits of him extremely excited. Chen whines as Lu Han shifts them, leaning Chen backwards so he can reposition them and Lu Han groans as pain prickles the skin under Chen’s nails. 

“Lu Han,” Chen gasps out, breaking their kiss to pant into his mouth and Lu Han moves to press kisses along Chen’s jaw, earning a long moan as Chen throws his head back, baring his neck. It’s possibly one of the most inviting and erotic things Lu Han has ever seen in his life. Lu Han doesn’t really waste time in exploring the long curve of Chen’s neck with his mouth, mapping the smooth skin with lips and teeth, feeling Chen heave breaths against his chest as moans puncture the air. Chen is gasping when Lu Han finishes with a final lick to his ear and moves back to his mouth. Chen slams their lips together frantically and practically writhes on Lu Han, huffing into his mouth as his fingers drag down Lu Han’s chest, digging into his shirt and skin and the near pain just sends blood pulsing through him at almost painful speeds. 

Chen is panting harshly when he pulls back, eyes bright and flashing as Lu Han blinks at him, trying to read them before Chen leans in again, dragging his mouth along Lu Han’s jaw and to huff into his ear, teeth nipping at the flesh before dragging his tongue down Lu Han’s neck and making him arch, mouth open in a moan at just how nice that feels. He fists a hand in Chen’s hair trying to steady himself as Chen rolls into him, fingers clawing around his shirt and digging into skin while Chen mouths against the dip in his throat. 

“Chen,” Lu Han breathes out, trying to focus on the word as his body basically repeats obscenities at him and Chen huffs against his skin. Chen moans at him in response. “Chen,” Lu Han repeats, and tugs at Chen’s hair, trying to pull him off. Chen bites him lightly on his collarbone and Lu Han lurches, pulling Chen off harshly. Lu Han has restraint. He has always had restraint somewhere, and it’s been tested a lot lately. But right now, he’s just on the edge of pressing Chen into the couch, stripping him, and probably fucking him blind. And that’s probably not a wise choice. “Stop,” Lu Han gasps out as Chen pants at him, hands pawing at him impatiently. 

“I don’t want to,” Chen gasps out, hands coming to paw at Lu Han’s neck and face as he tries to lean in to kiss Lu Han again. 

“Chen, you need to stop,” Lu Han says, trying to sound firm but it’s hard over the breathy quality in his voice. 

“It’s so hot,” Chen breathes, eyes flashing over Lu Han’s face. “I’m so warm, Lu Han. Please.”

Lu Han swallows heavily, shaking his head firmly. “No, Chen. I can’t. We can’t. Not now.”

“Why?” Chen whines, rolling his hips and leaning in, successfully sealing Lu Han’s mouth with a kiss as he ruts, cock hard, against Lu Han and arousal sparks up him. 

Lu Han gasps, grabbing Chen by the hips with both hands and jerking away, breaking the kiss. “We can’t. Not now. Not- Chen you’re a cat.”

Chen pauses and then frowns at him. “No, I’m not,” he says, and his tone is slightly desperate. “I’m not. You keep telling me and I keep denying it but I’m a human. I’m just trying to-“ his voice catches and he glares. “I’m not a cat.”

Lu Han’s heart is slamming in his chest, skin itchy with want as it races over him and sends mixed signals to his brain, telling him to both push Chen away and screw him into the upholstery. “Chen, I don’t want to hurt you,” Lu Han finally says, setting his mouth in a line and Chen stills, finally stops trying to kiss and rub against him and meets Lu Han’s eyes. They flicker. “You’ve never done this before. And it’s different with humans. I just…” Lu Han trails off. 

Lu Han doesn’t want to think about what the clenching in his chest may mean. He doesn’t want to think about the things that dart around in Chen’s eyes. He doesn’t want to notice the way his throat constricts when Chen ignores him, or the way Chen is slowly become the thing he thinks about almost constantly.

Chen is, was, a cat. 

“I’m sorry,” Lu Han breathes against Chen’s lips and Chen takes a shuddering breath. He lets his hands slowly slip from Chen’s waist as Chen’s fingers go limp around his face. “Just, not this way. Not now.”

Chen breathes, eyes somewhere around Lu Han’s collarbones before he finally pauses and looks up, eyes burning. “When?”

Lu Han’s heart jumps to his throat and slams there a few times as he looks back at Chen, trying to see through the burning fire and determination. “I don’t know,” he finally says and Chen’s mouth presses in a line. 

After a moment of Chen still sitting in Lu Han’s lap, still but staring at him hard and Lu Han trying to push his heart back into his chest, Chen finally nods and rolls of off him. “Okay,” he says, before shaking himself and stretching lewdly, erection obvious in his jeans as he watches Lu Han lazily. “I’m tired,” he announces before flopping to his pile of blankets on the floor and curling into them. Lu Han stares for a few moments, watching the delicate curve of his spine and the way he shudders every so often, before sighing, dragging a hand over his face, and getting up. Lu Han crawls into his bed, system still humming from the intense make out session with Chen the cat-human and trying not to imagine how Chen’s mouth would feel on other places right now. 

Lu Han has been lying in his bed, trying to fight back the urge to go back to the living room and lie on top of Chen and take off all their clothing for a good forty minutes, when the door to his room creaks gently and he looks up. Chen is quiet and gentle as he slowly pokes at the covers, finally pushing them aside and sliding gently into bed beside Lu Han, softly curling up into his chest and letting out a small sigh. Lu Han, breaths catching in his throat, finally relaxes after a moment and carefully wraps an arm around Chen, pulling him closer. Chen lets out a small whimper but otherwise doesn’t make any sign of protest. 

Lu Han sighs into Chen’s hair. It isn’t like Chen won’t just crawl back into bed after Lu Han has shoved him out anyway. 

Tuesday dawns softly as Lu Han dreams of faint light caressing him, gentle kneading at his sides as something laps delicately at the skin of his neck, traveling down to his shoulders before smoothing over his chest, small pressure digging into the skin at his hip. He moans, skin prickling at the sensation as a smile spreads over his mouth and he drags the warm comforting kissing up his chest closer, fingers slipping into soft hair. A hum reverberates through the skin on his chest and he feels the air stutter in his lungs as his cock aches. Those fingers press harder into his hips, sending warm tingles through his groin and he moans, back arching into the hot mouth on his chest as his eyes crack open an-

Lu Han is lying on his bed, hot, flushed, and panting, hands fisted in very real hair as a very real mouth licks lazily at his chest and hands drift very close to his erection. Head snapping down, Lu Han sees the curious eyes of Chen looking up at him from his right nipple and he lets out a strangled cry as the image sends a hot wave of feeling straight into his dick. He jerks back, trying to push Chen off of himself and Chen lets out a startled grunt as Lu Han accidentally knees him in the stomach. 

“What?” Chen asks, looking annoyed amid his lack of clothing. “You seemed to like it.”

“You can’t do that!” Lu Han gasps out, chest heaving as his heart pounds, trying to restore moisture to his mouth and throat. 

“Why not?” Chen asks, crawling a bit closer to Lu Han and frowning as Lu Han puts a firm hand on his chest. “Does it not feel good?”

Lu Han sputters, trying to figure out how to tell Chen that yes, it did feel good, it felt amazing, but that he shouldn’t do that because if he does, Lu Han may snap and fuck him raw into the floor and he doubts Chen will appreciate that much. “Just, not before work,” he finally grates out and Chen sits back on the bed, frowning. 

“Oh,” Chen says, chewing his lip as Lu Han gets his breathing back under control. “What about during work?”

“No!” Lu Han yells immediately, head snapping up and eyes wide. “Nothing at work. You cannot do any human petting at work. Ever. No petting.”

Chen wrinkles his nose before sighing. “After work?” 

“I need a shower,” Lu Han grumbles, dragging himself from the bed and trying not to shiver as he feels Chen’s eyes follow him. 

“You’re washing off my mark!” Chen calls after him, and Lu Han makes a completely untranslatable hand gesture at him, stumbling into the bathroom. He barely glances at his reflection as he turns on the water but then freezes, slowing turning to look at the mirror and the image of himself. Or, more importantly, his chest. 

His chest, which is covered in small bite marks, minuscule hickeys, and his sides and lower abdomen which have long paths of raised flesh from sharp nails belonging to the one and only Chen. Letting out a strangled cry, Lu Han throws himself from the bathroom and back into his room, finding Chen sprawled on his back lazily in Lu Han’s bed, flexing his hands at the ceiling and looking amused. 

“What did you do?!” Lu Han half yelps, half screeches, staring at Chen.

“Well, you kept washing off my scent, so I had to mark you somehow,” Chen says, turning to Lu Han lazily and offering a small smile. “I like it. It’s more visible this way.”

Lu Han gapes at him for a few moments as Chen smiles triumphantly before letting out a choked wail and dragging himself back to the bathroom, scrubbing vigorously and glaring at his aroused penis as it watches him expectantly. “This is all your fault,” Lu Han snarls at it, pointing in emphasis. “You’re the one that got us into this mess, with your strange notions of inter-specialty and what is acceptable to want to bone.”

Lu Han’s dick doesn’t answer him, just gives a particularly large throb as images of Chen, mouth around his cock instead of his nipple, flash into his mind and he groans, wrapping a hand around his erection and pulling harshly. Harsh pants and moans fill the shower beside the steam as Lu Han, eyes closed, thrusts into his own hand, the images of Chen slowly licking from the base to tip of his cock before taking him in whole playing behind Lu Han’s eyes and he comes hard and violently against Junmyeon’s peachy fresh shower wash. 

“Fuck your cat,” Lu Han snaps, breathless and haggard at the body wash. “Fuck, I’ll fuck your cat. Fuck the fucking fucks.” Lu Han finishes his shower with shaking limbs and a jittery mind, toweling dry and finally marching to his room. Chen is still curled on his bed. “Off the bed!” Lu Han snaps and Chen rolls to look at him lazily. 

“Oh good, they stayed,” Chen comments lazily and Lu Han turns, glaring at Chen’s bemused smile before marching over to the other, teeth clenched. Chen’s eyes widen in brief shock as Lu Han grabs him by the wrists and pins him into the bed, pressing hard against Chen’s body as he shoves him against the bedding. 

“I told you to stop last night,” Lu Han growls into Chen’s fearful expression. “I told you no.”

“And I didn’t want to,” Chen snaps back, arching his chest against Lu Han’s. “I want you to pet me, Lu Han.” Chen huffs up at him and Lu Han feels his groin throb into life again as Chen rolls up into him. 

“No,” Lu Han gasps out, moving to drag himself from Chen, briefly relinquishing his hold on Chen’s wrists. Immediately, as soon as the pressure lessens, Chen’s arms are yanking from Lu Han’s hold and snapping around his neck, dragging him to collapse into Chen, who writhes upward into Lu Han as his mouth crashes, teeth and tongue flashing against Lu Han’s. Lu Han lets out a groan, the skin-to-skin contact like fire and he pushes Chen back into the bed, kissing hard into Chen’s mouth and earning a loud stuttering moan. His mind swims, narrowing on Chen and the sensations racing over his skin as Chen bucks upwards, nails digging into his back before a particularly harsh thrust has him tipping back to his sense. 

“No!” Lu Han snaps out, throwing himself backwards and off of Chen, shaking his head wildly and trying to fight down the itch crawling over his skin that demands he return to the frowning human on the bed. “No, Chen, no.”

“Why?” Chen demands, getting up and stalking towards Lu Han, face flushed as he still breathes heavily. “I’m practicing being a human. I’m trying to do what you want me to.”

“I don't want you to do this!” Lu Han snaps, and Chen stops, halfway towards Lu Han with a shocked expression. 

Then Chen frowns. “You want me,” he says, tone low. “I know you do.” Lu Han groans and tugs open his dresser with unnecessary force, pulling out a pair of boxers and a tee. “I’ve known for days. Ever since you came home smelling sick.”  
Lu Han glares at him as he tugs on his boxers, nearly keeling into the floor as he loses his balance. “Stop lying to me!”

“I’m not lying to you!” Lu Han snaps, dragging his shirt over his head and snuffling agitatedly. “I never said I didn’t want you. I told you I wasn't abandoning you and I meant it. I just can’t-“ Lu Han spits a few sounds, waving his hands wildly as Chen glares. 

“Why not?” Chen yells, trying to grab for Lu Han and Lu Han grabs his hands. “It’s simple. We’re in heat. We mate. That’s the end of it.” Lu Han stills, the words hitting his chest hard and Chen blinks, heaving a few breaths before focusing on Lu Han’s face. He swallows and his eyes go slightly wide. “Lu Han-“

“Human petting and mating doesn’t work like that,” Lu Han says, voice low in his throat as he pushes Chen away, grabbing a pair of pants and leaving his room, not bothering with his hair as he leaves Chen, standing and looking lost. He pours himself cereal and eats quickly, having tugged on his pants and barely looked at himself in the mirror. He spends the time before his morning shift in Junmyeon’s room, cleaning up the mess he and Chen created when sorting through Junmyeon’s clothing and shoes. Chen wanders in at one point and shuffles about, throwing tentative looks at Lu Han, which he ignores, before finally slinking out of the room. 

Lu Han feels exhausted as he leaves for work, not bothering to bring Chen as he closes the door behind him. Tao frowns when he sees Lu Han show up alone for work and Jongin raises an eyebrow. Lu Han shoves twenty thousand won in the register to pay for the book Chen ferreted home the previous day and flops head first into the counter. 

“Hey,” Tao says, voice gentle and careful as he places a hand on Lu Han’s shoulder. “You okay?”

“I’m perfectly splendid,” Lu Han grumbles, nose mushed into the counter. “I’ve never be so elated in my life.”

“Did something happen with Jongdae?” Tao asks carefully, voice so compassionate and caring it stabs Lu Han in the feelings. 

“I’m in love with a fucking cat,” Lu Han half wails, feeling his chest crush significantly at the admission as he half sobs into the advertisement for next months romance novels.

Tao stills, hand going slightly stiff on Lu Han’s back as Lu Han moans to himself into ‘Rushing into the Sweet Wind’ and ‘Of Laundry and Lewd Limericks.’ Tao clears his throat awkwardly. “Well, um, that’s a little, uh, unexpected.”

“Fuck, and he won’t leave me alone,” Lu Han snaps, jerking upright and slamming his fists into the counter, glaring across the bookstore in annoyance before swinging to Tao. “How do you get someone who is aroused as fuck to leave you alone because you can’t keep it in your pants?”

Tao blinks at him, face flushing as he mouths like a guppy. 

“Why don’t you just screw him?” Jongin says, walking by and buried in his phone, glancing over briefly at Lu Han with a raised look before his eyes slide to Tao and he winks. “I mean, you’d probably both be happier.”

“Because he’s just in it for mating purposes,” Lu Han spits at Jongin, throwing a package of erasers at him as he saunters by, face curled in an agitated snarl. “Fuck, I should just be in it for the mating purposes.” Lu Han swings back to Tao. “You’ve been infecting me with your feelings. Stay back.” He brandishes a pen at Tao, waving it like a sword and the fuzzy bobble head at the end goes haywire. 

Tao looks at him like he’s crazy. Which, really, he probably is. “What are you talking about?”

“I shouldn’t be feeling romantically inclined towards a fucking cat!” Lu Han snaps. 

“I thought you liked Jongdae,” Tao says, frowning. 

“Exactly!” Lu Han spits, throwing the pen in his agitation. “Do you see my problem?!”

“Not really,” Tao says, and sends Lu Han an amused smirk that sends Lu Han face first into the counter again. “What about talking to Jongdae?”

“Oh, yes, brilliant,” Lu Han grumbles into ‘Riding on the Waves of Emotion’. “I’ll just tell Jongdae I kind of love him. Then we’ll fuck and he’ll be fine with that and I’ll be fine with that and we’ll completely ignore the cat thing and Junmyeon will think I killed Chen or something in favor of a human fuck toy.”

“Are you feeling okay?” Tao asks, trying to feel Lu Han’s forehead, his own creasing in concern. Lu Han swats him away with a copy of _Playboy_ and spends the morning shelving books and stalking among shelves. After lunch, Tao nudges him gently in the side and he looks up from shoving gum into the display to see Chen wandering hesitantly into the store, glancing around and looking jumpy. Lu Han stills, watching as Chen leans curiously towards a large cut out of Gong Yu before Tao clears his throat and he jumps, jerking to look over at him and Lu Han behind the register. 

Lu Han turns resolutely back to the gum and ignores Chen. Tao gives him an exasperated look. Lu Han chucks tutti-frutti at him. 

“Hey,” Chen says, walking up and leaving a foot of space between them. Tao slips away swiftly and Lu Han glares at Xylitol. “Lu Han-“

“Why are you here?” Lu Han grinds out, shoving gum into the display and not looking at Chen. “I didn't say you have to come to work with me today.”

Chen hesitates and Lu Han finally turns to him. Chen is holding out the book he took yesterday and looking conflicted. “I wanted to bring this back,” Chen says. “I didn’t know I couldn’t take it.” He sniffs through his nose. “I also missed you.”

“You saw me five hours ago,” Lu Han grumbles, grabbing the book and walking back behind the register, putting it under the counter. “How could you possibly miss me?”

“Because you left and were angry, and I thought maybe you wouldn’t come back,” Chen says in a rush. “I’m sorry.” Lu Han pauses and looks up at Chen. “I didn’t know mating was so important to humans. You and Junmyeon never seemed to really care so-“

“Don’t compare me with Junmyeon,” Lu Han interrupts him, frowning. Junmyeon is an ass who dates too many people at once and swoons them with his so called professionalism and charm but can’t seem to tame himself enough to settle on just one person. Lu Han at least tries.

Well, maybe. 

“Well, how was I suppose to know,” Chen huffs. “Cats don’t mate for life. We just reproduce.”

“What an elegant way of describing it,” Lu Han says dryly, dropping his hip against the register. 

“So I want you to teach me,” Chen says, frowning at Lu Han, who blinks. “I want you to teach me what I’m supposed to do.”

“You want me to teach you how to be in a human relationship,” Lu Han deadpans.

“Yes,” Chen says, nodding in affirmation. “And how to mate like a human. Because I also want to do that.”

Lu Han swallows heavily. “Well, this is interesting,” he says and Chen grins. Lu Han barely has a moment to blink before Chen is scurrying around the counter and slamming into his side, nuzzling into his back and grinning broadly. Lu Han turns to frown at him and he beams back. 

Tao snorts a laugh that is audible from the children’s section, where he’s talking quietly with Jongin. Lu Han makes a rude hand gesture at them. Tao smirks. Chen copies Lu Han’s rude gesture. Tao’s face falls and Jongin explodes into laughter. 

“You can’t cling to me,” Lu Han says, looking down at Chen. 

“Sure I can,” Chen says, snuggling further into Lu Han and placing his chin on Lu Han’s shoulder. “There were three customers that wanted to touch you yesterday and the tan one still sometimes flares around you, though he seems really distracted by the killing one.” 

Lu Han finds himself smiling. “They have names, you know,” he says, glancing over at Tao and Jongin. So, Jongin thinks he’s hot. 

“Names don't matter if they’re a threat,” Chen says, pressing his mouth into the nape of Lu Han’s neck, sending heat crawling over his skin. “And I didn’t get to properly mark you this morning to show you’re mine.”

“Marking is different with humans,” Lu Han says, trying to shrug Chen off as he feels Chen’s fingers drift over his sides. “We don’t mark each other with scents.”

Chen finally moves off. “Then how do you mark each other?” Chen asks, leaning against the counter beside Lu Han and looking at him. 

Lu Han shrugs, a variety of options flashing to his mind that he doesn’t really want Chen to do in public. Chen huffs at him before wandering off to the romance section again. Lu Han spends the rest of the day periodically doing his job and glancing over at Chen as he lounges around the children’s section and pokes at Jongin. 

“So, you two worked it out then?” Tao asks, leaning against the counter and looking down at Lu Han with a knowing smirk. 

“Go flap your hands at Jongin,” Lu Han says, labeling Tao as ‘BEST SELLER’ with his label gun. “He looks like he might fall asleep in the Mustard Cat books. Slap his ass to get him up and adam.” Tao peels off his sticker and shoves it onto Lu Han’s forehead. “I don’t need a sticker to know I’m the best one here!” Lu Han calls after him, grinning as Tao shakes his head, bouncing through the shelves. Chen scampers away when he sees Tao coming and slinks his way over to Lu Han. 

“When can we go home?” Chen asks, eyes on Tao as he and Jongin dissolve into conversation. 

“At six,” Lu Han says, labeling Chen on the chest with a satisfied smirk. Chen swats at his hand agitatedly. 

“What time is it now?” Chen asks, trying to peel the sticker off of himself. 

“Five fifty-six,” Lu Han says, smirking at Chen. 

“So how much longer do we have to be here?” Chen huffs at him, looking agitated.

“Four minutes,” Lu Han says, grinning as Chen swats at him in agitation. 

“If you to want to leave early or something, I can close up with Tao,” Jongin says, sauntering up and making Chen jump slightly, sliding behind the counter to press into Lu Han possessively.

“Are you sure?” Lu Han asks Jongin, trying to ignore the way Chen has fisted his hands in the waistband of Lu Han’s jeans and is tugging persistently. 

“Yeah, you two head out early,” Jongin says, with a coy look and raised eyebrows. “I’m sure Tao and I can figure out how to close up by ourselves.” 

“Take him out to dinner first,” Lu Han says, pushing from the register and shooting a look at Jongin, who frowns slightly. “Trust me, romance goes a long way with that kid.”

Jongin purses his lips as Chen tries to drag Lu Han away. “Thanks for the heads up,” Jongin says and Chen glares at him. Jongin gives him a confused look. 

“Be safe!” Lu Han says, saluting Jongin as he lets Chen drag him from the store, throwing his nametag behind the register. “God, why are you in such a hurry?” he asks Chen as the other drags him out of the store. 

“He was in heat,” Chen growls, fingers digging into Lu Han’s wrist. “He was ignoring me and my mark.”

Lu Han sighs, stopping and causing Chen to jerk to a halt. “Chen, human’s don’t recognize marking like cats do. They mark differently.”

“Then teach me how to mark you!” Chen nearly shouts, huffing into Lu Han’s personal space and glaring. 

“It doesn’t work like that!” Lu Han’s tries to tell Chen but Chen just growls, shoving into his personal space further and grabbing onto the front of Lu Han’s shirt. 

“Then teach me how it works,” Chen demands, eyes flashing frantically between Lu Han’s as he grits his teeth. 

Lu Han swallows, looking down at Chen and the desperate lines in his face. He presses his lips together, throwing the idea back and forth once before deciding ‘fuck it’ and grabbing Chen’s hands, wrenching them free from his shirt and dragging him around to the way home. Chen lets out a loud squawk at the sudden manhandling and stumbles, spitting and hissing at Lu Han in protest of such rough behavior but Lu Han ignores him, walking determinately back to the apartment. Chen is just about to continue chewing him out when Lu Han shoves him into the elevator, barely waiting for the door to close before he pushes Chen back into the far wall and shuts him up with a harsh insistent kiss. 

Chen stills, words muffling against Lu Han’s mouth before he moans, melting against the metal wall and fingers coming up to tangle in Lu Han’s hair as Lu Han shoves him against the wall harshly. Chen gasps as Lu Han slams his hand into the control panel, trying to punch the correct floor as he rolls his hips against Chen, groaning into the friction at his groin as his skin burns. Chen is desperately clawing at his shirt, trying to gain purchase of his skin and whimpering into his mouth when the elevator dings and Lu Han lurches away, dragging Chen with him down the hall to the apartment. 

Chen barely has a moment to try to rub himself against Lu Han before the apartment door is open and Lu Han is pulling him inside, pushing him against the door and once more claiming his mouth, panting hot breathes into his throat as his fingers drag at the skin beneath Junmyeon’s borrowed shirt, shoving it up and over Chen’s blazingly hot chest, heaving breath. Chen fights to remove the clothing, his own fingers ripping at Lu Han’s, eyes almost black as the gold flashes in small speckles. 

“So this is marking,” Chen pants, leaning into huff into Lu Han’s neck as Lu Han drags his shirt over his head, flinging it to the side. 

“One form of it, yeah,” Lu Han ghosts out before sealing Chen’s mouth with his own once more and dragging them together, bare chests pressing hot together and earning a groan from both. Lu Han slides his hands over exposed skin, just as smooth and hot as it has looked since Lu Han woke up with Chen lying on his face a week and a half ago and feels Chen shudder under his hands. Chen’s fingers are digging into Lu Han’s lower back, dragging down harshly and leaving Lu Han to gasp in combined pain and pleasure. 

“Hot,” Chen pants, mouth wet and panting as Lu Han mouths down his neck and against his ear, dragging a strangled sound from his throat. “It’s so hot.” Lu Han growls, shuffling them backwards into the apartment as Chen tries to continue grinding against him with small but insistent hips. “Too hot,” Chen pants, fingers scrabbling over Lu Han’s skin frantically as he ruts into Lu Han and nearly sends them topping into the coffee table. 

Lu Han doesn’t answer, just shifts so that he can push Chen down and into the couch. Chen keens as Lu Han lowers him, mouths hot and pressing open-mouthed kisses against each other as Chen arches into Lu Han, skin hot. “Calm down,” Lu Han growls, leaning down and biting harshly on Chen’s ear, dragging a long dark groan from Chen as the other arches impossibly high against him, shuddering. Lu Han huffs, fingers tugging at his jeans as Chen tears at his own frantically. Lu Han finally grabs his hands and stops him, instead unbuttoning Chen’s pants and Chen sighs as pressure is lessened against his erection and Lu Han drags his teeth over Chen’s chest, feeling the skin shudder. 

Frantic fingers scrabble at Lu Han’s arms, digging in painfully and pulling him back up, mouth panting harshly as Chen presses up into Lu Han and Lu Han tries to shove his jeans down, his own cock throbbing aggravatedly against tight jeans. He groans loudly as Chen rolls into him, gasping loudly and Lu Han finally manages to unfasten his jeans, shoving them down slim thighs. 

Chen isn’t wearing boxers, instead bare against the couch as he fights to kick off his pants and Lu Han looks down, blood pounding heavy in his veins at his flushed body, splayed below and quivering slightly. His eyes are dark with lust. “Lu Han,” he moans, nails digging harshly into Lu Han’s shoulders and Lu Han instinctively pushes down, groaning at the combined friction between their cocks, Lu Han’s barely separated by a layer of fabric and Chen’s hard and hot against him. Chen writhes up, thrusting harshly into Lu Han as Lu Han grinds down, trying to hold Chen steady as he buries his face in Chen’s neck and breathes harshly. 

Lu Han’s only warning comes as Chen suddenly arches, gasps rising in volume as he ruts frantically against Lu Han and then nearly rips the skin on Lu Han’s back as he comes with a high moan, jerking into Lu Han and sending him tumbling over the edge as well with a low groan into Chen’s shoulder as he bites down hard on the skin and his own release slams into him with the force of a freight train. 

Limbs shuddering and head still fogged, Lu Han slowly pulls himself up, still panting harshly, feeling his back sting through his numbed senses as he looks down at Chen. Chen is breathing heavily, chest heaving with labored breaths, and eyes still dark and clouded with orgasm as he looks up at Lu Han. Lu Han feels his skin prickle again at the sight and fights down a second wave of arousal. 

Chen, still breathing raggedly, reaches up a hesitant hand and traces lightly over Lu Han’s jaw, fingers dragging along Lu Han’s swollen mouth as his breaths pass swiftly over his own. “Did you mark me?” he asks, voice husky with sex. 

Lu Han swallows as his eyes flicker to the bite mark and distinct hickeys on Chen’s neck. “Yes,” he says, voice rough. “I did.”

Chen’s huffs a laugh, fingers tracing Lu Han’s face just a moment longer before he leans up. Lu Han meets him halfway with a lazy kiss and feels his heart pound in his chest against Chen’s, which is fluttering frantically in his rib cage. 

Chen asks Lu Han later after they’ve been curled on the couch for close to an hour, lazily kissing and running fingers over exposed flesh, if they’ve mated like humans do. Lu Han tells him no. Chen asks when they will mate. Lu Han shuts him up with a well-placed bite to the mark on his shoulder and Chen groans, dropping the topic. 

Lu Han doesn’t even bother thinking about how Chen is technically a cat. 

Lu Han figures he stopped caring somewhere between Chen hitting him with spoons and curling into his chest with a soft purr in his throat. 

They fall asleep naked, because Chen says clothes are silly when you’re just going to take them off anyway, and Lu Han doesn’t really object as Chen crawls half on top of him and rubs into him after a few lazy long kisses, finally settling in with a low thrumming sound vibrating in his throat and against Lu Han’s chest. 

Lu Han wakes up to a lazy mouth dragging up his neck and the pleasant roll of hips against his own. He moans, smiling as Chen shifts and leans down for a gentle kiss, hands drifting to take control of Chen’s slowly rolling hips and rolling them over so that Chen is pressed into the mattress and Lu Han has full control of their speed. He holds Chen still as he maps out the curves of his chest and Chen huffs to the air, fingers ripping at Lu Han’s sheets and tangling in Lu Han’s hair and Lu Han purposefully ignores Chen’s erection, instead teasing hard nipples with his tongue before leaning up and sighing at the burning friction of their bare cocks. 

Chen comes first, crying out loudly as he flings his head back and jerks against Lu Han. Lu Han follows after a few more decisive rolls of his hips before collapsing on top of Chen, dragging the other to him and sighing into his hair. Chen gently traces the hollow of his throat with his tongue and fingers before Lu Han finally drags them both from bed and into the shower. Chen seems extremely fearful of the device until Lu Han drags him under the warm water. Chen frowns in hatred at Lu Han until Lu Han gives his bare ass a comforting pat and then lathers shampoo into his hair. Chen decides licking water off of Lu Han’s shoulders is more interesting than personal hygiene and Lu Han introduces Chen to the concept of hand jobs, which Chen is extremely enthusiastic about once he figures out cocking his wrist slightly makes Lu Han almost shout in sensation and Lu Han ends up having to wash them twice.

Chen frowns the majority of the morning, tugging his clothing off periodically as Lu Han tries to get ready of work and deciding apparently that necking is more important than breakfast. Lu Han finally shoves him against the counter and growls into him, groins pressed hard together, that he needs to stop or Lu Han will lock him in the bathroom all day while Lu Han is at work. 

Chen finally obeys after this and spends the day in the science and anatomy section pawing through pictures of genitalia which Jongin so helpfully pointed out to him. 

“Stop giving him ideas,” Lu Han grumbles at his only coworker for the day. Tao has off and Jongin, it seems, has decided to just scheme up ways to further complicate Lu Han’s life while his admirer is absent. 

“Why? It seems like he has a lot of his own already,” Jongin says, eyebrows raised as he nods towards Lu Han’s neck. “Those are some nice marks. He must be an excellent fuck.”

Lu Han frowns and stickers Jongin’s hand discounted to half price. “We didn’t have sex,” he growls, eyes flickering over to Chen who is watching them keenly, a frown on his face. 

“Well then, I can’t wait to see how you look after that then,” Jongin says with a leer. “By the way, thanks for the romance tip.”

“You hurt that kid, and you’re fucked,” Lu Han says, raising his eyebrows at the computer as he checks the sales for the past week. “He studied wushu for, like, fifteen years and could kill you with a tooth pick.”

Jongin snorts. “Tao cries at the Lion King opening music,” he says.

“Tooth pick,” Lu Han repeats, giving Jongin a serious look. “Think about that. Chew it up real good and just let it sit on your tongue. Imagine how he could use a tooth pick to end you.” Jongin frowns at him. “Be creative,” Lu Han adds, flashing him a grin as he discounts Jongin’s other hand. 

“You be careful with yours,” Jongin says with a pointed look. “You look like he confused you for a scratching post.” Lu Han laughs sarcastically at him before discounting his forehead as well with a glower. Jongin just gives him a smirk before wandering off, leaving Lu Han to grumble to himself. 

Fifteen minutes later, Chen presses into Lu Han side, fingers tangling into his belt loops and tugging gently. “We’re at work,” Lu Han mumbles into his forehead, turning to Chen and pressing a stern hand against his shoulders. 

“I know,” Chen says, relaxing at Lu Han’s touch and moving back slightly. “But I don't like Jongin around you. You’re claimed.”

Lu Han sniffs out a laugh and looks down at Chen. “He knows that,” Lu Han says, feeling warmth spread through his chest that has nothing – well, a little – to do with arousal as Chen looks up at him with a small frown on his lips. “He was just saying I look like your own personal scratching post.” Chen blinks before his eyes drift to the marks his nails left, slightly visible poking out of the sleeves of Lu Han’s tee shirt sleeves. His forehead wrinkles at them and Lu Han scoffs. “It’s fine, they don’t hurt.”

“But-“ Chen begins to say but Lu Han shuts him up with a swift shove away and a pat to his ass. 

“Lunch break!” Lu Han calls to Jongin, who frowns at being left alone in the shop as Lu Han herds a frowning and flustered Chen from the store, flapping his arms playfully at Chen and causing the other to scuttle away in annoyed confusion. Lu Han laughs as they reach outside the store, wrapping Chen in his arms and spinning him, arm around his shoulders possessively, in the direction of a local café. 

“Where are we going?” Chen asks, looking around with jerking head motions as the world spins around them in a flurry of activity. 

“On a lunch date,” Lu Han says easily. “It’s what mates do with each other.”

Chen blinks. “I’m your mate now?” 

“Well, we can’t reproduce, but I doubt you understand the idea of boyfriends or lovers,” Lu Han says, shrugging as he leads Chen into the small establishment and motions to the waitress for two. Chen eyes the waitress warily as her eyes linger on Lu Han’s smiling face and he lightly kicks Lu Han in the shin. “Ow! What?”

“Stop smiling at her,” Chen growls, and Lu Han can almost see the hair rising on his neck. 

“Are you jealous?” Lu Han asks, laughing slightly. “I was just smiling.”

“I can smell her from here,” Chen sneers, watching as the girl, a good few paces in front of them, puts down two menus and motions them to sit, smiling pleasantly. “She’s basically polluting pheromones.”

“Well, good for her,” Lu Han says, leaning into Chen’s ear as his voice lowers. “Then one of these other men can go take her home and jizz lots of kittens into her belly.”

Chen whips to look at him in surprise and Lu Han winks, guiding him into his seat with a smile before flopping into his own. The waitress looks at him in polite patience. “We’ll have two lunch specials,” Lu Han says, without even bothering to look at the menu. He’s been here enough times to know the damn thing already.

She nods and walks off, ass swinging slightly behind her and Chen glares at it. 

“She likes you,” Chen hisses and Lu Han snorts. 

“Of course she does, I’m ridiculously attractive,” Lu Han says, leaning across the table to poke at Chen’s hands, currently digging into the tabletop. “But humans don’t have multiple mates at one time, so calm down, kitty cat.”

Chen swats at Lu Han’s hands. “I’m not a cat anymore,” he grumbles picking up a straw and poking at it in annoyed curiosity. 

“Sure you are,” Lu Han says, grinning at Chen’s frown. “You still are curious about everything, start at loud sounds, get distracted and fussy, and purr.” Chen glares at him and Lu Han picks up his spoon, letting the light catch it so it sends a shining reflection against the wall. Chen has a brief moment before he sees it, eyes going wide as his whole body tenses, hands clenched on the table top as Lu Han tries to bite down his laughter. He shifts the spoon slightly so the light dances and Chen’s head snaps around wildly, trying to follow it. Lu Han jerks and Chen launches at the wall, sending Lu Han into bursts of laughter as he drops the spoon. Chen blinks, opening his hands, pressed against the wall and frowns when he finds nothing before looking over a Lu Han and a realizing scowl appears over his face. 

“I hate you,” Chen snaps, picking up his spoon and hitting Lu Han with it repeatedly, just sending Lu Han into a bigger fit of laughter as he tries to wrestle the spoon from Chen. 

“No, you don’t,” Lu Han says after a moment, tone warm as Chen huffs at him. “You like me a lot.”

“Lies,” Chen says, trying to grab back his spoon. 

Lu Han leans swiftly across the table and presses a small innocent kiss to Chen’s mouth, startling the other to freeze before he leans back into his chair, smiling pleasantly. Chen hovers around with Lu Han behind the counter for the rest of the day at work while Jongin periodically shakes his head at them from the children’s area, finally leaving at six on the nose. Lu Han barely makes it in the door before Chen turns and presses up into him, pressing a hard demanding kiss into his mouth and shoving his hands up Lu Han’s shirt. 

Lu Han doesn't hesitate to kiss back, angling Chen’s head into a more comfortable position and deepening the kiss, slowing down to a luxurious drag of tongue and teeth and Chen whimpers into his mouth. Lu Han lets his hands slide over Chen’s long torso for a few minutes as he kisses Chen’s breathless before drawing back. 

“That was nice,” Lu Han says, voice soft against Chen’s mouth and Chen huffs. Lu Han smiles, kissing him briefly and bringing a hand to drag into Chen’s hair. Chen groans, arching his neck back as his head follows the direction of Lu Han’s hand. Lu Han kisses briefly down Chen’s neck before pulling away, skin tingling as he pulls Chen into the apartment. “Are you hungry?”

“We’re eating?” Chen asks, seeming confused. 

“Do you not want to eat?” Lu Han asks, turning back and raising his eyebrows at Chen. Chen looks torn between saying yes and possibly shoving Lu Han into the wall and assaulting his neck. “Great!” Lu Han says instead of allowing Chen to decide on his answer, skipping into the kitchen cheerfully and dragging substance from the fridge. 

Lu Han gets half way through preparing dinner before Chen decides he would rather take off Lu Han’s shirt and lick up the marks he left the previous night on Lu Han’s back. Lu Han, pulse pounding in his ears, lifts Chen onto the sink and rips his shirt off, leading Chen to gasp into his hair as he teases his nipples with his teeth and the kung pao chicken burns on the stove. Lu Han ends up ordering take out and answers the delivery boy panting and shirtless, jeans unbuttoned and throws cash at the wide eyed and pimpled teenager before returning to the living room where he left Chen sprawled in a pile of limbs and looking thoroughly winded. 

Lu Han drops the delivery food on the coffee table and decides he’d rather have Chen for dinner at the moment. Chen groans as Lu Han licks a strip down his chest, hands tugging his jeans off agitatedly and panting as the harsh fabric slips down long legs. His eyes are heavy as Lu Han looks up at him, his own pulse throbbing through him as his cock strains against his pants. 

Chen looks back, mouth opened in small pants and eyes hooded. Lu Han slowly wraps a hand around Chen’s base and Chen whimpers, fingers clutching at the floor. “It doesn’t hurt?” Lu Han asks, voice raw from heavy breathing but he doesn’t care. 

“No,” Chen wheezes out and Lu Han smiles. 

“Good,” Lu Han whispers out, giving a few small tugs before looking down at Chen’s pert cock. A small bead of precum pokes out the slit and Lu Han allows his breath to fan over the head. Chen gives another small whimper and Lu Han flicks out his tongue a moment later, just barely grazing the head and Chen lets out a sharp cry. Lu Han grins before repeating the process and then finally flattening and dragging his tongue over the head of Chen’s cock, enjoying the shudders that run under his hands as Chen writhes under him. Chen keens high and Lu Han drops down, sliding over the hard shaft and tongue dragging along the under side as Chen bucks. Lu Han holds him steady, breathing carefully though his nose as he closes his eyes, focusing. He moves back up, lips closing around the head before letting go and glances up to see Chen, head thrown back and chest heaving. He grins before running another lick up the weeping shaft and Chen bucks again gasping almost painfully into the air as Lu Han’s fingers play at the base and trail over his balls experimentally. 

“Lu Han,” Chen strangles out and Lu Han pulls back slightly, leaning up over Chen, his own body thrumming and hot, cock aching as the salty taste of Chen lingers on his tongue. 

“What?” Lu Han asks, laying a soft kiss to Chen’s hipbone, fingers gliding purposefully up Chen’s cock teasingly. Chen groans and Lu Han kisses again, teeth nipping gently at the skin at his hip and Chen, with a loud strangled cry, comes into Lu Han’s fist, bucking off the floor and writhing, cock sputtering and throbbing in Lu Han’s grip as Lu Han bites into skin as the sound goes straight to his own arousal. 

Chen heaves a few extremely labored breaths, cock going limp in Lu Han’s hands before he pushes himself up weakly and looks down at Lu Han, eyes hazed. Lu Han swiftly kisses up Chen’s chest, smoothing his hands up Chen’s body to grip under his ribs as he firmly presses his mouth to Chen’s and Chen sighs, threading his hands into Lu Han’s hair and tugging gently, arching into him. Lu Han sighs, trying to ignore the ache between his own legs before Chen suddenly bucks and rolls them over, hands flying down to Lu Han’s pants and ripping them open. Lu Han barely has time to blink before Chen is leaning down, pulling Lu Han out of his boxers and heaving hot breaths against the sensitive skin. 

Lu Han barely has a moment of realization of what Chen is about to do, the word ‘stop’ barely on his tongue before Chen leans down and drags his tongue over Lu Han and he groans, breath hitching in his chest as white hot sensation rockets through his stomach and tingles over his limbs. “Chen,” he groans out, reaching out as Chen gives another experimental lick, seemingly fascinated. His hand barely can tread through Chen’s hair before Chen’s curiosity peaks and he takes Lu Han whole, mouth sliding down and Lu Han gurgles sound, fingers tightening in Chen’s hair as the hot wet warmth of Chen’s mouth presses close around him and sends his eyes rolling back into his head. 

A moment later, Chen is drawing back, coughing slightly and Lu Han’s chest heaves. “You don't have t-“

“I want to,” Chen says, voice rough as his fingers trace the skin of Lu Han’s penis carefully and his eyes flash up to Lu Han. “I want to do this.”

Lu Han doesn’t think he’s ever been so aroused in his life. 

Chen dips down again and Lu Han lets his eyes fall closed, groaning at the hot warmth slowly sliding around his erection, the light lapping of Chen’s tongue against his shaft and then gently playing at the slit, his muscles tense as he fights the urge to buck and fuck into Chen’s mouth until he comes. A tight hot coil of heat and pressure settles into his lower stomach, winding and building with each drag of Chen’s tongue and press of his lips and tentative press of fingers to him and Lu Han is gasping so hard he feels like breathing may be impossible pretty soon. “Chen,” he rasps out, hand still buried in Chen’s hair moving to try to drag Chen away as his eyes open slightly, looking down as Chen licks up him again. “Chen, I’m going to come.”

“What does that mean?” Chen asks around the head of Lu Han’s cock before sucking down hard and Lu Han, with a hard groan, comes hard, hips bucking unintentionally as his hand tightens in Chen’s hair and he spills into an unsuspecting mouth. 

Lu Han blacks out, orgasm pounding through him and wiping his mind clean of everything except blinding feeling, racing over his skin and through his bones, leaving him tingling and gasping for air as he tries to fight his way back to his senses. His vision clears and the first thing that registers is his own gasping breaths, followed by the racing heat still hovering over his skin and finally the hesitant hands on his chest as Chen leans into his vision, eyes wide. 

There are bits of splattered spunk on his face and Lu Han nearly groans at the sight of Chen’s red mouth, parted and hesitant, looking down at him with Lu Han’s cum on his face. “Come here,” Lu Han rasps out, bringing a hand to gently wipe away the white drops. 

“It’s weird,” Chen says, watching Lu Han’s hands as they wipe gently at his face, nestling into Lu Han’s side. “It looks like cream but it doesn’t taste like cream.”

Lu Han stares, eyes wide as is throat constricts and the next second he bursts out laughing, the sound wracking up through his body as it calms down from euphoria and Chen stares at him in odd bemusement. “What?” 

“You,” Lu Han says, calming down his laughter slightly and rolling to look at Chen, smiling at the confused expression on his face.

“But I didn’t do anything,” Chen says, frowning as his fingers trace Lu Han’s jaw lazily. 

“I know,” Lu Han says, sighing at the pleasant afterglow as it hums through him. He pulls Chen into him and buries his head in Chen’s slightly sweaty hair, humming gently as Chen curls into him, face pressed into his neck. Chen lets out a soft sort a breathy sigh, nuzzling into Lu Han’s neck and kissing gently. “That was really good you know,” Lu Han says after a moment of silence where he just breathed in Chen’s familiar scent of skin and warmth and distinctly Chen. 

“I like human petting,” Chen hums against his throat, pulling back to look into Lu Han’s face, smiling lazily. “It feels really nice.”

Lu Han smirks. “Better than cat petting?”

Chen nods enthusiastically and Lu Han laughs, kissing Chen cheerfully before rolling with him into the blankets, letting his hands wander over soft skin and muscle as Chen presses touch memories into his ribs. Their dinner is cold by the time they eat it and Lu Han drags a protesting Chen into the shower where he cleans them both, smiling at Chen’s grumblings about water before kissing him quiet. Lu Han doesn’t even bother arguing when Chen follows him into his room and loiters around as Lu Han shuffles about, getting ready for the next morning before climbing into bed. 

In fact, Lu Han smiles as he feels Chen crawl, barely a moment after the light has turned out, under the covers and into Lu Han’s arms, curling into him with feline finesse to Lu Han’s form and curling his fingers into Lu Han’s hair, nudging Lu Han’s chin for a brief kiss before burrowing it into Lu Han’s throat and huffing into a light purr. 

Lu Han wakes up first the next morning and stills when he feels Chen shift against him, still asleep and sprawled on the bed, nearly shoving Lu Han over the edge. Lu Han shifts, careful not to wake Chen, as he crawls over him. Chen makes a silly sort of snuffling sound and curls up slightly before relaxing and Lu Han smiles, leaning down and slowly pressing a kiss to Chen’s throat. Chen moans and the sound vibrates against Lu Han’s mouth, flickering his eyes closed. Lu Han slowly kisses down Chen’s neck, hands leaving the barest of touches over his skin as he maps out Chen’s body with his lips, sighing at the faintest taste of sweetness against his tongue. Chen lets out a long groan as Lu Han’s tongue dips into his belly button and Lu Han smirks before dragging it down and laying a soft kiss on the bite mark he’s left on Chen’s hip the previous night. 

Chen shifts, his hips undulating upwards as he tries to search for some friction against his obviously proud and standing arousal. Lu Han smirks before swiftly taking it into his mouth and sucking down. 

Chen wakes up with a loud moan, arching off the bed as Lu Han hollows out his cheeks and Chen nearly weeps out his orgasm into the morning air, pressing high off the bed and he chokes on air. He collapses, panting into the bed as Lu Han crawls off of him, dragging a hand over his lips and eying the exhausted tangle of limbs in his bed. “Good morning,” he says softly, kissing Chen on the forehead before crawling from bed with a grin. Chen slinks in behind him in the shower and drags his hands down Lu Han’s front from behind before curling around him and slowly, torturously, tugging him to completion. 

Junmyeon’s shower pouf suffers this time and Lu Han doesn’t care as he kisses Chen behind the ear and Chen sighs into him. 

They dress, Chen hits Lu Han with his breakfast spoon in the butt five times before Lu Han grabs Chen by the ass and hauls him on the counter, growling as his hands drag down the back of his pants. Chen then decides to follow Lu Han around the rest of the morning patting him on the ass with the spoon until Lu Han finally steals it and hides it under his mattress. 

Chen finds his way around this complication by instead just following Lu Han around and smacking his bum with his hand instead. Lu Han solves this by smacking Chen very hard in the ass and sending him skittering nearly three feet before he looks back at Lu Han with a horribly affronted expression. 

The ass smacking stops there for the morning and only visits again briefly at lunch when Chen wanders up behind Lu Han at the counter and surreptitiously slips his hand into the back pocket of his pants, fingers flexing lightly. 

“I think I’m getting the hang of this human petting thing,” Chen says, leaning into Lu Han with a huge grin on his face. 

“You're getting there,” Lu Han says, slipping his own hand into Chen’s back pocket and pressing gently with his fingers. Chen’s face flushes gently at the contact and Tao, passing by with a customer, throws them a knowing disapproving look. Lu Han grins at him delightedly and gives him a thumbs up. 

They go out for kimbap and jiggae for lunch and Lu Han drills Chen on his Hangeul, continuously calling him Jongdae until Chen gets annoyed and wallops him with his spoon and the old ahjumma gives him a startled affronted look. Lu Han grins at her good naturedly as Chen steals his tuna kimbap. Lu Han frowns at him when he turns back and Chen grins in delight, mouth full of rice and assorted vegetables. Chen wanders around and lounges in the bean bag chairs in the children’s area for the afternoon, occasionally pelting Jongin with rolled up pieces of napkin he stole from the kimbap place and Tao eyes Lu Han’s neck warily. 

“What?” Lu Han finally asks, turning to Tao and gesturing the price gun threateningly. “Do I have a tumor or are you contemplating running your tongue down my vertebrae too?”

“No,” Tao says quickly, flushing red. “It’s just, well…” he trails off and Lu Han frowns. “I’ve never seen anyone so marked up before. Are you sure you’re dating Jongdae and not a cactus?”

Lu Han blinks before turning and looking into the mirror behind the register, examining his neck. Now that he finally looks, it does kind of look like someone went at it with a weed whacker. Or a lot of mini suction cups. He turns back to Tao and shrugs. “You should see his hips,” he says noncommittally as Tao pales and looks like someone may have just thrown up on him. Lu Han grins and whistles ‘HUMANOIDS’ to himself for the rest of the afternoon. 

Chen wanders over around six and presses into his side, looking expectant. Lu Han grins and is half way out the door when Yixing and Yifan walk inside. Lu Han freezes. So does Chen. Yixing and Yifan pause and look at him with surprised expressions. 

“So, we’re not dragging you out tonight for socialization,” Yixing says, eyes flashing between Chen and Lu Han in surprise, lingering on Lu Han’s neck and Chen’s hand lodged firmly in Lu Han’s back pocket. He grins widely. “Well, this is interesting.”

“How was the pretty dude with the eyeliner?” Lu Han asks, shifting his weight. “Did he give good head? Or did you scare him off after telling him Lightsaber’s strict diet regimen.”

Yixing smiles easily. “Actually, he loves cats and came by to meet Lightsaber. He’s actually been by a few times this week to say hi to Lightsaber and really likes my cooking.” He wags an eyebrow. “Along with other things.”

“You and sexual situations is never a good image,” Lu Han says, faking a violent shudder as Yixing snorts. “How about you, Yifan?”

“I got thrown out by the security guard for knocking over the speakers before I could bring anyone home,” Yifan says, giving a bored shrug. “I don’t think we know your, um-“ Yifan looks really awkward at not knowing what Chen technically is to Lu Han.

“This is Jongdae,” Lu Han says, dragging a hesitant Chen into his side firmly. “I’ve been instructing him on how to pet properly.” 

Yifan stares. Yixing stares. Chen looks between Lu Han and the other two, seems to put two and two together, and slips his arms possessively around Lu Han’s middle. Lu Han beams. 

“Well, that sounds entirely sexual,” Yixing finally says, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. “Shall we leave you two to it then? Maybe meet up tomorrow to grab a drink and, um, properly meet Jongdae?”

“Sure, maybe,” Lu Han says, shrugging as Yifan’s eyes flicker between Lu Han and Chen rapidly, as if still trying to put together how petting works exactly in this context. “Now, if you don’t mind, I have to teach Jongdae a few things about tongues.” 

Yifan’s eyes widen as Yixing huffs at him, shaking his head and Tao, who has only heard the last part of this conversation as he walked by with a broom, slams his hand into his face. 

Chen remains pressed into Lu Han’s side the entire walk home, even as Lu Han has calmed down from his brief enjoyment at ruining his friend’s minds for the evening. “What’s up?” Lu Han asks, looking down at the other as Chen digs his fingers again into Lu Han’s arm firmly. 

“Those were your friends,” Chen says, eyes directed ahead and frowning still. 

Lu Han blinks. “Yeah, that’s them,” he says, watching Chen curiously. 

Chen looks up, eyes alight with a fire Lu Han hasn’t seen yet. “I don’t like them,” he says firmly. 

“They’re just friends,” Lu Han says, frowning slightly at the intensity in Chen’s eyes. 

“But they wanted to take you away tonight,” Chen says, a dark look passing over his face. 

“That’s what friends do,” Lu Han says, stopping and turning to Chen, who bristles. “Look, I told you. I’m not abandoning you. I won’t abandon you and Junmyeon-“ Lu Han’s eyes widen suddenly and he pauses. “Junmyeon.”

“What about Junmyeon?” Chen asks, looking up at Lu Han and frowning. 

“He’s coming home tomorrow,” Lu Han says, feeling his throat go dry. If Junmyeon comes home, Junmyeon will look for Chen. And Chen the cat isn’t a cat anymore. And Chen the cat-

-loved Junmyeon.

Lu Han swallows, looking down at Chen warily. “Do you still like Junmyeon?”

Chen blinks, looking up at Lu Han in surprise. “What do you mean?”

Lu Han takes a small breath. “Like, if Junmyeon comes back tomorrow, what will you do?”

Chen sniffs in amusement at him. “I’ll greet him happily, of course,” Chen says, as if this is obvious. “He’s still my master, and I love him.”

Lu Han feels oddly faint, those words ringing in his ears faintly and Chen’s expression falters. “Right,” Lu Han says vaguely, turning to walk back home. Chen frowns and stumbles, hurrying to catch up to him again. 

“Lu Han?”

“Nothing,” Lu Han says distracted and Chen eyes him. Junmyeon is coming home tomorrow. Meaning Junmyeon will once more be with Chen. Meaning Chen will once again latch onto Junmyeon in affection and leave Lu Han alone. But Junmyeon won’t know that Chen is Chen because Chen is now a human and not a cat. So Chen will probably feel even more rejected and not entirely understand. 

Fuck. 

“You can’t tell Junmyeon you’re you,” Lu Han says, looking down at Chen and feeling as if he’s still in a vague fog. 

Chen laughs, the sound ringing in the air as he looks at Lu Han like he’s an idiot. “Why not?”

“Because he won’t believe you,” Lu Han says, eyes flashing over Chen’s face. “Chen-“

“Don’t be stupid, how could he not recognize me?” Chen laughs before pressing into Lu Han again. “This is a good thing,” he tells Lu Han, smiling delightedly as Lu Han’s stomach plummets. Lu Han doesn’t answer, just presses his mouth into a line and continues the trip home, Chen’s face falling as he tries to follow and flashing worried perplexed looks at him even as they arrive home. He reaches out for Lu Han as they step inside the apartment and his fingers close on air as Lu Han walks directly to the couch and sits down, elbows on his knees and letting out a rough sigh, frowning at his hands. 

Junmyeon is coming home. 

Junmyeon will ask where Chen is. 

Chen is not a cat anymore. 

Lu Han is totally fucked. 

Lu Han sighs and drops his head, eyes closing as he rolls over ideas in his head. A soft touch to his knee has him looking up. Chen is hunched in front of him, shoes off and shirt already discarded as his eyes flash over Lu Han’s face, concern shining with the gold flecks. 

“Why are you sad?” Chen asks, resting his hands on Lu Han’s knees gently. 

Lu Han swallows down multiple answers to that.

Because you’re going to be sad. 

Because Junmyeon won’t recognize you and I’ll be in deep shit. 

Because you probably still like Junmyeon more than you like me.

Because I’m also really bad at sharing. If not worse than you.

Because I’m falling in love with a fucking cat. 

Instead of saying any of the things racing around his mind, Lu Han leans forward, a hand coming to gently cup Chen’s face and kisses him softly, mouth barely ghosting against Chen’s as his eyes close. Chen sighs against his mouth before pressing back, his hands squeezing gently at Lu Han’s knees before gently sliding up his thighs and hooking in his jeans, using his fingers to drag himself forward and into Lu Han. Lu Han doesn't push back, instead leaning back as Chen slides closer and wrapping his arms gently around Chen as Chen leans in and kisses him back, mouth opening languidly against his.

It stays like that for a few moments before Chen sighs as Lu Han’s hands travel down his spine, sipping over the gentle curve of his vertebrae and resting just above his jeans, rolling his hips forward into Lu Han’s perfectly level crotch and Lu Han lets out a moan, pressing back. Chen’s fingers slide up and under his shirt, pushing it up and off before tossing it to the side before he drags his mouth across Lu Han’s shoulders. Lu Han sighs, hands coming to rest at the back of Chen’s head and causing him to pause before looking back at him. His eyes flicker briefly before he surges forward, pressing Lu Han back into the couch and clambering into his lap, thighs spread over Lu Han’s and pressing them flush together, mouth panting hotly into Lu Han’s as he grinds down. Lu Han lets out a grunt before pushing him back slightly and gaining more control of the situation, stilling Chen’s hips with his hands. 

“Chen,” Lu Han breathes out against Chen’s mouth and Chen moans, fingers clutching once more at Lu Han’s jeans as he whines in the back of his throat. 

“Lu Han,” Chen pants, hands turning frantic. “Lu Han, I want it.”

Lu Han’s mouth goes dry as he grabs at Chen’s hands, stilling them as Chen makes a horribly frustrated sound, rolling his hips hard into Lu Han. “Want what?”

“You,” Chen huffs into his mouth and Lu Han feels a hot rock drop straight through his chest into his groin, burning through his body and sending hot anticipation over his already itching skin. 

“Chen,” Lu Han begins but Chen lets out a frustrated growl and drags at Lu Han’s pants, causing intense pressure over his hardness and making him gasp. 

“You, Lu Han,” Chen gasps out and rolls himself up so he can press his face into Lu Han’s neck and rip his pants open, grabbing at Lu Han’s penis and earning a harsh grunt. Chen’s hand strokes roughly against Lu Han as his teeth sink into his shoulder. “I want you.”

Lu Han briefly, briefly, considers his morals before he shoves Chen into the couch and drags his pants off, leaving him surprised, breathless, and naked under Lu Han as Lu Han pulls off his own pants and presses down into Chen, moaning softly as both of their bare cocks rubs together. Chen groans loudly and bucks up, fingers flying to grip into Lu Han’s back. 

It’s hot. Both of their bodies aching in heat and the thrum of wanting to be close and Chen moans loudly when Lu Han fists them both together and drags his hand over their combined heads, using their precum as lubrication as he slides his hand over twin shafts. Chen is a writhing mess under him and Lu Han only has to tug a few times before Chen is coming on their stomachs, gasping out sounds and whimpers as he looks up at Lu Han with accusing eyes.

“What?” Lu Han asks, frowning at the look directed at him. He’s just jerked Chen off, orgasm all nice and tidy and sated the stupid cat huma-oh. 

Lu Han realizes exactly what Chen had meant by ‘you’ when Chen throws himself upward and sends Lu Han tumbling backwards, quickly scrambling on top of him and pressing his ass against Lu Han’s still erect cock and sending Lu Han a very determined, very annoyed, and very sexual look. 

“Oh,” Lu Han says intelligently, his cock twitching at the exciting new prospect of finding out how Chen’s ass feels. 

“Lu Han,” Chen says, voice low and rasping as he shifts back and Lu Han has to swallow down the groan in his throat as images of sinking into Chen flash into his mind. “Lu Han, I don’t know where to go from here,” Chen says, voice shaking slightly as he arms tremble on Lu Han’s chest. “Please.”

Lu Han blinks. “Why?” he asks, leaning up and Chen lets out an aggravated sound, shoving Lu Han back to the floor. 

“Because I want you!” Chen snaps out, voice cracking. “I want you to be mine or me to belong to you. I want you to own me or me to own you or something, anything, just- I want-“ 

Lu Han decides that’s enough of talking and shuts up Chen with a very hard insistent kiss, leaning up and shifting Chen into his lap so he can kiss him properly and distract him from what will probably be very strange and very foreign to him. His hands trail down Chen’s sides gently before smoothing over his thin legs, finally coming to rest at his penis, which is already perking back to life. Lu Han gently shushes him as he brings up a hand and places two fingers at his mouth. “Suck,” Lu Han says, feeling his breath hitch as Chen slides the digits into his mouth and wraps his tongue around them. Lu Han watches, eyes lidded and pulse throbbing in his body as Chen slides Lu Han’s fingers provocatively in an out of his mouth, tongue flicking around them lewdly and Lu Han pulls gently at Chen’s stiffening cock. 

“Okay,” Lu Han chokes out after a while and Chen pauses, panting around his fingers, eyes fogged and Lu Han drags his fingers away, glistening with saliva. “I need you to lie down,” Lu Han says gently and Chen nods before lying back down on the couch, eyes glazed as he looks up at Lu Han. Lu Han pauses as he drifts his hand down between Chen’s legs and continues to stroke him, watching as Chen pants at him. “This is going to feel weird.”

“Lu Han,” Chen snaps, expression turning dark but falling a second later as Lu Han quickly circles and then presses his finger into Chen’s entrance. Chen’s head falls back slightly and his eyes fly wide, chest heaving. “What-“

Lu Han leans forward and kisses him gently. “It’s just preparation,” he says and Chen pants, shifting as he adjusts to the intrusion and Lu Han moves the digit around a few times before Chen is moaning at him and presses in a second, sending Chen rigid again. He sighs. “I told you it would feel weird,” he says as Chen pants again, trying to catch his breath. Chen blinks up at him before winding his arms around his shoulders, pulling him down and kissing hot into his mouth and Lu Han rests his other hand on Chen’s hip to steady him. 

Lu Han kisses back, fingers sliding rhythmically in and out of Chen, stretching and scissoring, earning him a few mewls before he presses in deeper and Chen moans, rocking back and Lu Han sighs. He presses a few more times, Chen rolling with him and letting out soft gasps before he curls and Chen stills, shivering slightly, gasp falling sharply from him. Lu Han presses in fingers again and Chen throws his head back, low groan spilling up from his throat. 

“Lu Han,” Chen pants and Lu Han takes that as his cue to press in a third finger, which has Chen let out a loud whimper and Lu Han stills, thumb running circles on Chen’s hip gently as he swallows, the soft pants and moans on Chen’s lips shuddering south and he focuses on letting Chen adjust to his fingers rather than the very real idea that he will soon be fucking Chen into a couch. Lu Han gives an experimental thrust of his fingers and Chen moans low, rocking back and his fingers fist hard in Lu Han’s hair. “Lu Han,” he keens, eyes opening to smolder at him. 

Lu Han doesn't need to be told again, instead drawing his fingers out of Chen and eliciting a loud groan before he drags them over his own cock, smearing precum from tip to base and hoping that will substitute at the moment. Chen has propped himself up on his elbows and is huffing as Lu Han shifts closer to position himself. “It may hu-“ Lu Han begins to say, the head of his penis just brushing Chen’s entrance before Chen grabs him, pulling him forward into his mouth and body and nearly yells into Lu Han’s mouth as Lu Han slips past the initial ring of muscle and into him. Lu Han is panting, the incredible tight heat of Chen around his cock sending waves over him as Chen shakes under him. He slowly shifts and Chen lets out a long shuddering moan. 

“Chen,” Lu Han whispers, dragging out slightly and Chen arches. 

“Move, Lu Han,” Chen groans out, hips suddenly rolling and Lu Han’s eyes nearly roll into his head. “For the love of Cats, move.”

Instinct, hard driving instinct snaps Lu Han’s hips forward and he lets out a harsh gasp into Chen’s throat as Chen lets out a moan, hips stuttering as Lu Han drags out and thrusts in again, and again, repeatedly, the hot drag of raw flesh against sensitive skin sending heat coiling in Lu Han’s stomach as Chen arches under him and claws down his back, jerking his hips in time and letting moans fall like rain from his lips. 

It’s not gentle. It’s not careful. It’s not pretty. It’s just fast, frantic, and intense as Lu Han drives in and Chen arches to meet him, mouth dragging for air that’s too hot to breathe. Lu Han’s hands drift down to grip at Chen’s hips, trying to steady him as he shifts slightly and Chen nearly flies off the couch, strangled cry bursting from his throat. “Do that again,” he gasps, clinging to Lu Han as Lu Han once more thrusts into him, sending him into a writhing mess of blurred syllables and sounds. Lu Han, panting, reaches down, hand dragging down Chen’s chest before wrapping a firm hand around him, tugging in time with his rocking hips. 

“Lu Han!” Chen cracks out, fingers digging so hard into Lu Han’s back he’s pretty sure he’s bleeding. Lu Han answers with a moan as Chen’s walls clamp down around him and Chen comes, almost howling at him, in violent shudders and dragging Lu Han over the edge with him and sending them both into near black out pleasure as limbs shake and they collapse onto the couch in a mess of sweat, breathing, limbs, and cum. 

It’s a good few minutes before Lu Han has pieced himself together enough to come back, still panting as he looks down at Chen, flushed and practically glowing beneath him. He rolls off, slipping from Chen and groaning as Chen whines in the back of his throat, curling immediately around him, breaths fanning against his neck. 

“There,” Chen breathes, fingers curling into Lu Han’s hair gently. “Now you own me.”

Lu Han stills, huffing a small laugh as a smile stretches over his face and his arms cradle Chen to him. “And you own me, too, I guess,” he says quietly, nestling into Chen’s dark matted hair as the air reeks of sex.

There is a moment of silence. Then-

“Does that mean I get to give you a collar?” Chen asks and Lu Han laughs, rolling him over and kissing him breathless. 

The next morning dawns and Saturday whispers up Lu Han’s arms with the chill of angry ants. He shifts, pushing himself from the warmth of Chen as the other curled into his side and runs a hand though wild hair, sticking up everywhere from when Chen had dragged his fingers through it so many times the previous night as he tried to coax Lu Han into fucking him again. Lu Han sighs, looking down at the still sleeping form of Chen, and runs his hand gently through Chen’s wild hair and earns a soft gentle sigh. 

Pulling himself up, Lu Han pads gently from the living room where he and Chen had nestled for the night and to the shower, washing lazily and letting a smile tug at his mouth as he hears the door open and Chen presses into his back. Chen hums as he kisses the base of Lu Han’s neck and Lu Han turns, easily sliding his hands over Chen’s hips before lathering shampoo into his hair. 

According to Chen, now that Lu Han has apparently marked him as his own, they have only three things that they should be occupying their time with: eating, napping, and screwing. Lu Han finds he objects to this, instead forcing Chen into proper clothing that he seems to keep shedding constantly as he attempts to pick up the chaos that has taken over the apartment before Junmyeon gets back. There are no warning emails in his inbox and Lu Han feels slightly panicked at the idea that Junmyeon may just waltz in any moment, bitching about his too heavy suitcase and incompetent flight attendants and find Lu Han with Chen half naked licking up Lu Han’s chest or something. 

That and Chen is still very much human and not a cat and Junmyeon will no doubt call for his ChenChen-foobly-woobly-bumber-pants barely three minutes after taking off his shoes. After which Lu Han will be left trying to explain how Chen turned into a human and now chases after Lu Han pawing at his dick. Which could lead to some rather interesting conversations a doubtless colorful language. 

“Why won’t you play with me?” Chen huffs around eleven in the morning, draping himself over Lu Han’s back and burying his nose in his hair as Lu Han tries to gather up all the blankets on the living room floor. 

Lu Han tries to fight off the urge to turn around and press Chen into the couch as Chen’s fingers drag sensually up his midriff. “Not now, Jongdae,” Lu Han says, the name feeling strange in his mouth. 

“Why do you keep calling me that?” Chen whines into his hair, fingers tickling up Lu Han’s chest. “It’s not my name.”

“Well, it has to be while I try to figure out how to tell Junmyeon that you’re actually you,” Lu Han huffs, straightening and trying to walk to Junmyeon’s room to pick up the mess there. He barely gets a step though before Chen tugs him back and drags him down to the couch with him, easily slipping to crawl on top of Lu Han and make for his mouth. “Chen!” Lu Han pants out, pressing against Chen’s chest and earning an annoyed frown. 

“Why don’t you want to mate again?” Chen huffs, trying to press down again and Lu Han grunts, trying to push him off. “I know you’re interested. You reek.” 

“It’s not that I don't want to,” Lu Han grunts, finally shoving Chen off again. “It’s that we can’t right now.” Chen stares at him for a moment, mouth pressed in a line, before pushing up and off. Lu Han watches him carefully, waiting for Chen to hurl into him again. Instead Chen seems to decide on a different course of action, as he pulls off his pants, stripping completely, and wanders off to a different area of the apartment looking completely disinterested as he sways his hips exaggeratedly. 

Lu Han drags a hand over his face and flops back into the couch. 

Yeah, having Chen walk around starkers is really what Lu Han needs to complete his morning of internal panic at Junmyeon’s spontaneous arrival. 

Lu Han tries for a good three hours between straightening up the apartment and deflecting random stripping attacks from Chen trying to get him to put clothing back on, nearly gagging when he sees Chen has somehow found his collar and put it back on, dark and inviting against his neck. Lu Han instead sorts through the trash and shoves Chen into his room, telling him to take all the sheets off the bed so he can wash them.

Apparently, this is too complicated for Chen, as instead he gets distracted and ends up making a snuggly little bundle of himself in Lu Han’s blankets on the floor and Lu Han nearly falls over him and face plants into his bookshelf. 

By four, the apartment is finally back in acceptable condition and Lu Han collapses onto the couch, sighing in exhaustion after cleaning, organizing, and fending off Chen for the majority of the day thus far. Eyes closed, he is just finally letting himself relax when he feels weight settle into his lap. He groans, feeling too tired to actually shove Chen off at this point. A sigh escapes his lips as Chen’s mouth gently drags along his jaw, licking lazily as the bell on his collar jingles. Chen has apparently decided to appease Lu Han slightly and has put on pants. 

He is, however, still missing a shirt. And probably underpants. Lu Han allows his thumbs to gently massage Chen’s exposed hipbones leisurely as Chen laps just below his jaw, sending a soft sound between his lips. 

“Lu Han,” Chen breathes, voice almost whining as he shifts forward on Lu Han’s lap, fingers slipping under Lu Han’s shirt and skittering over heating flesh. Lu Han hums to Chen in signal that he’s heard him, but doesn’t respond. Chen seems to find this frustrating, as he nips down Lu Han’s neck and tries to roll himself onto Lu Han, creating delicious friction through the fabric of Lu Han’s pants. 

“Chen,” Lu Han tries to warn, to stop Chen from doing exactly what Lu Han’s body wants him to do and what Lu Han’s brain is pretty sure isn’t a good idea. Chen ignores him and instead shoves Lu Han’s shirt further up his chest, nails scratching lightly over skin as he drags his teeth down Lu Han’s neck, making him arch back instinctively. “You need to stop,” he pants to the ceiling. 

“It’s too hot to stop,” Chen pants against the dip in Lu Han’s clavicle, tongue tracing the bone. “I don’t want to stop. I want-“

Chen freezes. So does Lu Han as the lock in the door clicks and the sound practically booms through the apartment. Lu Han swallows, eyes opening and staring at the ceiling. 

Fuck. 

A second later, the door is opening and Junmyeon’s voice floats into the apartment, along with a second deeper tone that seems to have trouble with a few words as it talks with Junmyeon’s. 

“-and the stupid cab driver clearly didn’t know-“

Chen is scrambling off of Lu Han’s lap faster than Lu Han has ever seen him move in his entire time of knowing Chen the human over the past two weeks. Lu Han sighs, hand dragging over his face as he pushes himself up and follows a half naked Chen as he flies to the door and rams into an extremely surprised looking Junmyeon, who nearly falls against his companion and lets out a loud indignant yell. 

“What the-“ Junmyeon yelps, dropping his bags and immediately trying to pry Chen off as Chen rubs his face vigorously into Junmyeon’s chest, wriggling excitedly. 

Well, this is a great start. 

“Welcome home,” Lu Han says, striding into view and absently tugging down his shirt, which has bunched somewhere under his arm pits and feeling his erection deflate at the sight of Chen latched onto a thoroughly affronted Junmyeon as a tall stern faced man watches in clear disapproval. “How was the business trip?”

“Lu Han!” Junmyeon says, voice raised in annoyance as he tries to pry Chen off of himself and Chen lets out delighted sounds, collar jingling as he nuzzles Junmyeon’s left pectoral. “Who the fuck is this?” Lu Han looks lazily at Chen, who is apparently trying to meld into Junmyeon’s chest and ignores the low burn in his throat. 

“Don’t you recognize me?” Chen chirps, looking up at Junmyeon, eyes bright and hopeful, a brilliant smile on his face. 

Junmyeon has the most distressed and shocked look on his face as he looks down at Chen. “No!” he says, trying to shove Chen off as the cat human’s face falls dramatically. 

“What?” Chen says, voice cracking as he tries to grab onto Junmyeon, pressing closer and the taller man behind Junmyeon scowls at the scene, tongue flashing out to his lips in annoyance. Lu Han raises an eyebrow. 

“Lu Han, have you been taking in homeless people?” Junmyeon snaps, trying to fight off Chen and failing. Lu Han sighs, taking a step forward and grabbing Chen, who jerks to look at him, eyes frantic, and Lu Han gives him a stern look. Chen swallows but finally lets got of Junmyeon, stepping back to stand with Lu Han. He looks like he still wants to latch onto Junmyeon though, even as Lu Han wraps an arm around his shoulders. 

“This is Jongdae,” Lu Han says, giving Junmyeon a casual look, as if he hasn’t just been almost molested by a frantic cat human. “He’s very friendly.”

“He’s psychotic,” Junmyeon heaves, glaring at Chen.

“I’m your pet!” Chen yelps frantically, eyes wide as he stares at Junmyeon and Lu Han groans, running a hand over his face. 

“Okay, explain this,” the tall stranger says, face dark as he huffs and turns to Junmyeon. “What the fuck is going on? Why do you have some random ass guy crawling all over you?”

Junmyeon colors as he turns to the taller boy, frowning. “I don’t know!” he says, looking slightly helpless through his annoyance. “I don't even know him!”

“I slept in your bed with you!” Chen protests, looking near hysteric and Lu Han closes his eyes, waiting for the shit storm. 

It blows up.

“What the fuck!” the taller man explodes, shoving Junmyeon back and wrenching the door open. “You cheating ass hole!”

Ah, so that must be Sehun. 

Junmyeon makes a few angry gargling sounds before he rounds on Chen and Lu Han. “He leaves,” he says sternly, glaring at Chen. “And then you and I are having a very serious conversation.” Junmyeon sets his jaw angrily before turning and rushing from the apartment. “Sehun!”

“Well, that went better than I thought it might,” Lu Han says, sighing and running a hand through his hair. He turns to look down at Chen, who is shaking slightly under his arm and looking on the verge of tears. “Hey-“ Lu Han begins to say but the next second Chen is bolting from him, back into the apartment and falling over himself. 

It takes Lu Han a moment of shock before he turns after him, trying to find him and only taking a moment before he discovers Chen curled up in the bathtub and looking extremely woebegone. “Hey,” Lu Han says softly, crawling into the tub with him and sitting opposite, resting his hands on Chen’s arms, currently curled around his knees. 

“He didn’t recognize me,” Chen says, sniffing and looking up at Lu Han with wide hurt eyes. “Lu Han, Junmyeon didn’t even know who I was.”

“I know,” Lu Han says, feeling his heart clench in his chest at the expression on Chen’s face. He gently reaches up and traces his fingers down Chen’s cheek, watching as Chen’s lips shakes. 

“I don't understand,” Chen says, blinking furiously at Lu Han. “I don’t understand why he doesn’t know who I am.” He takes a deep shuddering breath. “I don’t understand why it hurts so much.”

Lu Han sighs slightly, looking at Chen and stroking his fingers gently against his scalp. It seems to comfort him, but only marginally, as his breaths still choke in his throat. “I know,” Lu Han repeats and runs a soothing hand over Chen. “These are human emotions. They probably are a bit more intense than what you felt as a cat.”

“I want them to go away,” Chen whines, burying his face in his arms and shuddering. “They hurt. My chest hurts. Lu Han, make it stop.” Lu Han doesn’t really get to answer as Chen shifts and crawls into him, face drawn as he clambers into Lu Han’s chest and clings to him. Lu Han just leans back, letting Chen lay on him, and wraps his arms around him, pressing into Chen’s hair and breathing as Chen buries himself in Lu Han’s neck. 

A good half hour later, as Lu Han is still lying curled in the bathtub with Chen in his arms, he hears the door open again and the agitated deeper voice of Sehun grumble about something as Junmyeon’s typical ‘I’m soothing you so I can shag you’ voice answers him. They seem to still be arguing and Lu Han closes his eyes, stroking Chen’s hair gently. Chen shifts against him and he slowly lets Chen up, pushing himself up as well as Chen blinks blearily. He looks at Lu Han, eyes flashing and Lu Han leans in, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. 

“It’ll be okay,” Lu Han says, giving Chen a small squeeze where his hand rests on his neck, fingers tracing the black collar. “Just remember, you have to be Jongdae, not Chen the cat. We’ll figure out some way of telling Junmyeon eventually.”

There is a brief moment where Chen looks unconvinced, eyes flashing over Lu Han’s face before he presses his lips together, exhales, and then clambers from the tub, Lu Han following easily. Lu Han leaves the bathroom first, followed by Chen who walks as if he doesn’t give a shit about anything. Lu Han almost smiles at how Chen seems to have reverted back to his cat-like indifference so quickly. Sehun sees him first, looking up from where he’s arguing with Junmyeon about something and pressing his mouth thin, eyes narrowing. Junmyeon turns swiftly, taking in Lu Han before his eyes settle on Chen and darken. 

“So,” Sehun breaks the silence first. “Who’s the whore?” Lu Han notes Sehun has a slight lisping speech impediment. Lu Han also finds he doesn’t like the way Sehun glares at Chen and automatically wraps an arm around a slightly startled Chen who looks up at him swiftly. 

Lu Han smiles brilliant. “This is my pet,” Lu Han says, grinning easy as if this is a completely normal statement and Chen’s eyes widen. “His name is Jongdae, and I keep him very satisfied.”

Junmyeon and Sehun gape at him. Chen blinks before seeming to catch onto something Lu Han has said and turns to the other two men, eye bright. “He pets me all the time,” Chen adds helpfully and beams up at Lu Han, who figures ‘fuck it’ and just smiles back. 

“Wow, you’re a pervert,” Sehun says, eying Lu Han with distaste as Junmyeon frowns in severe disapproval. 

“What is he doing here?” Junmyeon says, voice low as he looks at Chen, who flinches back slightly. 

“He’s living with me,” Lu Han says easily. “We’re living together. He knows I own him and we have a very physical time together.”

“This is why I don't usually have lengthy conversations with you,” Junmyeon grumbles, getting up and walking to the kitchen, pausing in the doorway and looking up at Lu Han. “Where are Chen’s bowls?”

Lu Han swallows. Shit.

“Oh, those,” Lu Han says, laughing awkwardly and running his free hand through his hair. “I, um, Chen was getting fat.” Chen turns to him sharply and glares. “So, now he’s on a diet”

Junmyeon does not look convinced. “Lu Han, where is his litter box?”

“Lu Han hid it,” Chen grumbles and Lu Han pinches him harshly, earning a small yelp and dirty look thrown his way as his throat crawl. Shit shit shit.

“Lu Han,” Junmyeon says, voice low. “Where is Chen?”

“That,” Lu Han says, giving Junmyeon a very significant look he isn’t quite sure the meaning of. “Is an excellent question.”

“Chen!” Junmyeon calls, frowning at Lu Han and stepping back. “Chen~ Here, kitty kitty. Where are you? Chen?” There is no answer. No pattering of small kitty feet and the jingle of bells. Junmyeon’s eyes flicker in anger at Lu Han. “Chenchen-foobly-woobly-bumber-pants!” he yells and Sehun’s eyebrows rise significantly. 

“What a horrible name for a cat,” Sehun says and Junmyeon shoves him lightly in the chest. 

“Shut up,” Junmyeon grunts before stomping into the rest of the apartment. Sehun grins, following him and looking devious. 

“Does this mean I get to call you ‘Joony-kins’ and you can croon ‘Sehun-moon-man’ at me under the stars?” Sehun chirps, poking Junmyeon in the side as he wrenches open closet doors angrily. Chen gives Lu Han a very weird and judgmental look. 

“What are they?” 

“The most dysfunctional couple ever,” Lu Han says, tightening his grip around Chen. 

“No!” Junmyeon snaps at Sehun, stomping to his bedroom and flinging open the door. “Chen!” Lu Han counts down from twenty. He makes it to seven before Junmyeon explodes from his room. “Lu Han! Did you eat my fucking cat?!”

“Why the fuck would I eat you cat?” Lu Han asks, scowling as he drops the hand around Chen’s shoulders and steps in front of him. 

“I don’t fucking know,” Junmyeon spits angrily, snarling into Lu Han’s face as he glares. “You’re from China. They all eat fucking cats in China. Cats and scorpions and birds and monkey brains.”

“I didn’t eat your cat,” Lu Han says, frowning down at Junmyeon as Sehun reenters the room. 

“Then where is he?” Junmyeon yells, grabbing Lu Han by the shirt. 

It happens in a flash. There is a brief flurry of movement in which Junmyeon is shoved back and Lu Han is pulled away. Lu Han looks down and sees Chen, standing in front of him, and looking annoyed as Junmyeon stares in shock. “He ran away,” Chen says, voice hard, glaring at Junmyeon. “He must have thought you abandoned him when you left and decided to find a new owner who cared about him.”

“What?” Junmyeon squawks as Sehun rolls his eyes, trying to grab Junmyeon before he flails himself into a fit. 

“I mean, you did just leave him,” Chen says, eyes flickering as his fingers tighten in Lu Han’s shirt, back tensing visibly. “What else was he supposed to think?”

“I did not abandon my cat,” Junmyeon spits, glaring at Chen. “I went on a business trip for two weeks! How is that abandonment?”

Chen just shrugs. “All looks the same to the eyes of a cat,” he says simply before turning, glancing up at Lu Han with a smoldering look, before sashaying off to Lu Han’s room. 

Junmyeon gapes after him. “Who the fuck does he think he is?” Junmyeon gasps, staring after Chen as the other disappears behind Lu Han’s door. 

“A cat whisperer,” Lu Han says, smiling faintly as he thinks that maybe Chen won’t be so depressed after all about Junmyeon. 

“He leaves,” Junmyeon says, voice firm as he looks hard at Lu Han. “He leaves now.”

Lu Han pauses as he turns to go to his room, and looks at Junmyeon and Sehun with a raised eyebrow. “I’ve never forced your countless lovers out,” he says simply before turning and letting that statement do what it will. He’s barely closed the door behind him when he hears Sehun hiss something at Junmyeon that has Junmyeon snapping back before they start bickering with each other. Lu Han grins as he hears Sehun screech something about ‘lying hyungs’ and ‘assholes’ before something hits something else and Junmyeon’s voice goes low. 

The bedside light is on and Chen is curled up in the pile of spare blankets and sheets Lu Han was going to put on his bed. Lu Han walks forward carefully, dropping down next to Chen and laying a hand on Chen’s shoulder to not startle the other. Chen shifts and rolls over onto his back as he blinks up at Lu Han. “Junmyeon was nicer when I was a cat,” Chen says, taking Lu Han’s hand and tracing the palm with his fingers. 

Lu Han scoffs. “Of course he was nicer when you were a cat,” he says, watching as Chen slowly fits their hands together. “Junmyeon doesn’t understand how to be nice to people he isn’t trying to impress. He barely understands how to deal with other people’s emotions, let alone the psyche of a cat.”

“What about you?” Chen asks, watching their hands idly, shifting in the blankets. 

“What about me?” Lu Han asks, frowning. 

Gold flecked eyes look up at him, flashing over his face in study of what, Lu Han isn’t entirely sure. Chen’s mouth opens as if he wants to say something and Lu Han waits, frowning slightly. Instead, Chen tugs gently at his hand, squeezing, and looking up at Lu Han, eyes glinting. Lu Han sighs before smoothing his free hand into Chen’s hair, brushing his fingers through and Chen sighs, leaning into the touch. Lu Han watches, small smile on his face, as he scratches Chen under the chin, causing the other to hum gently and a smile to finally break out over his face, eyes slipping closed in contentment. 

Chen reaches up after a moment, stilling as Lu Han’s fingers brush over his collar and slowly brushes his fingers down Lu Han’s neck, scratching gently. “Does it feel the same for you?” he asks, eyebrows creased in question. 

“Probably not,” Lu Han says, shifting so he can lie down next to Chen and continue running his fingers up and down Chen’s neck as Chen slowly maps Lu Han’s jaw with his own. “I’m not as sensitive as you are there. Not that it doesn’t feel nice, but I’m pretty sure you like it much more than I do.”

Chen props himself up, looking down at Lu Han with a small frown. “Then where should I pet you?”

Lu Han snorts, letting his hand drop to Chen’s exposed hip. “You don’t have to pet me,” he says, thumb pressing into the bite mark that is barely visible as it pokes out of the waist of Chen’s jeans, fading slightly from the other day. “Though I never object to petting.”

Chen shifts, skin warm under Lu Han’s hand, before he reaches out and runs his hand, flat, down Lu Han’s chest. Lu Han lets him, watching him easily as Chen eyes him carefully, watching as Lu Han’s shirt smooths and creases under his palm. A sigh escapes Lu Han’s lips as Chen reaches the hem and instead slips his hand under the fabric, running his hand back up Lu Han’s chest and pushing the shirt up, bunching against his wrist. He frowns when it bunches up, still trapped under Lu Han’s back and drums his fingers against Lu Han’s chest. “Off,” he demands. 

“Why?” Lu Han asks even if he knows the answer. 

“Because clothes are stupid and naked is far better,” Chen says, voice dropping slightly as his nails prickle into Lu Han’s skin, causing his hair to rise in excitement as heat pools into his stomach. Chen tugs at the shirt insistently. Grinning, Lu Han raises himself just enough so that Chen can tug his shirt off, cool air hitting his heating skin and sending a small shiver over him. Chen drags the shirt off fully before settling down and examining Lu Han’s chest carefully. 

“What?” 

“I want to learn,” Chen says, eyes flashing over Lu Han’s defined stomach muscles, which he flexes just to see Chen’s eyes widen marginally at the movement. He grins when Chen stares at them raptly for a moment. 

“Learn what?”

“Learn you,” Chen says, looking back and locking his eyes into Lu Han’s.

“You’re going to have to start thinking about what you say,” Lu Han says even as heat crawls over his skin. “People aren’t used to others saying stuff like that.”

Chen frowns. “You say stuff like that,” he points out and Lu Han snorts, smiling as Chen’s hands come to rest at his sides and slowly draw over him, carefully mapping the skin and waiting for a reaction. 

“Yeah, but most people already know I’m weird,” Lu Han says, eyes feeling heavy as Chen drags the pads of his fingers over Lu Han’s stomach and sides, sending skitters over his skin. He sighs, enjoying the feeling and just letting the sensation slide over him, dragging his heart to a higher tempo. Chen’s fingers slowly drag up, nails skittering over the skin as they pass Lu Han’s lower ribs, earning him a soft gasp. 

“There?” Chen asks, pausing, fingers just brushing over Lu Han’s ribs. Lu Han doesn’t answer, just breathes through his nose and Chen, a moment later, drags his fingers further along Lu Han’s ribs. On the third rib, Lu Han feels that familiar spike that only happens when someone hits that exact spot on his body and arches, gasping slightly. He barely as a moment to grab Chen’s hands before suddenly a mouth latches over that exact spot and sucks. Hard. 

Crying out, Lu Han actually jerks from the floor as his entire body pulses. Panting harshly, he looks down at Chen, who is watching him with an extremely coy look on his face, fingers circling that spot deviously. Lu Han swallows as his cock pulses, the dark look in Chen’s eyes meaning one very suggestive thing. “Junmyeon is in the other room,” he says, swallowing. 

“And?” Chen asks, raising an eyebrow. 

Lu Han stills, looking down at Chen. Chen has a point. Lu Han can’t count how many times he’s had to listen to Junmyeon and his random stream of fuck buddies through the walls of his room. “Nothing,” Lu Han says, wrapping his fingers around the back of Chen’s neck and dragging him forward. Chen presses harshly into Lu Han’s sweet spot and has Lu Han gasping into his mouth as electricity flares over him, skin sparking as he goes slightly light headed. Chen huffs before pressing his tongue into Lu Han’s mouth and moaning, fingers massaging cruelly into sensitive tissue and sending his heart to pound violently in his chest as arousal spikes through him. 

Groaning, Lu Han pushes Chen off before rolling up and striding to his dresser. Chen watches him in confusion, letting out a strange sound as Lu Han tries to calm the shivers racing over his body. Lu Han stills as he feels Chen press into him, fingers flying up his sides and once more circling around sensitive skin as he digs, trying to find what he’s looking for and letting out a loud moan as Chen presses his fingers down, mouth open against his bare shoulder blade and teeth gently pressing into his skin. His fingers close over a small bottle a second later and he drags it from a mess of socks and underpants, turning swiftly and dragging Chen into him, kissing harshly. 

All too excited, Chen meets him enthusiastically, hissing hard and hot as his hands drag over Lu Han’s body, shivering. Lu Han, tossing the small bottle of lube onto the pile of blankets, lets his hands trail slowly down Chen’s back, gliding over his spine and kneading. Chen lets out a long, low moan in his throat and Lu Han pauses, drawing back slightly as his mind flashes. Chen blinks up at him, eyes hazed. Lu Han remembers, with a vague recollection through his fogged mind, watching Junmyeon stroke down Chen’s back, the fur flattening under his fingers as Chen arched, shuddering slightly and purring, head nudging against Junmyeon’s arm for more attention. Blinking, Lu Han looks down at Chen, who is watching him breathlessly. 

Slowly, carefully, Lu Han drags his fingers, pressing gently down Chen’s back, focusing around his spine and Chen moans again, eyes falling shut as he leans into Lu Han, hips rolling harshly. 

Holy fucking hell. 

Breath hitching, Lu Han leans forward and kisses Chen, mouth breathless as Chen tries to push into him and back into his hands simultaneously and whines. Dragging his hands up and down Chen’s curving spine, Lu Han huffs, Chen’s hands scrabbling and digging into his skin harshly, pressing into his hips. He lets out a loud mewl as Lu Han kneads his hands into Chen’s lower back and bucks, shoving Lu Han against the dresser and causing the furniture to shudder violently as he ruts against Lu Han. 

Voice loudly dripping moans, Chen fumbles with Lu Han’s pants, hands shaking as he tries to undo them and just ends up huffing into Lu Han’s neck as Lu Han teases his fingers between Chen’s shoulder blades. “That’s not fair,” Chen gasps out, voice hardly audible over the breaths shuddering from his lungs. “Lu Han.”

Lu Han gasps as Chen paws at him through his pants, straining already and bucking into the drag of Chen’s fingers over his clothed hardness. Lu Han digs his hands down the back of Chen’s jeans, fighting into the fabric and sliding over the slight curve of his backside as Chen moans, rolling his hips into Lu Han and grabbing at the waist of Lu Han’s pants. Lu Han squeezes Chen’s ass gently, earning a low moan before withdrawing his hands, turning Chen firmly by the hips and bringing his mouth to the nape of Chen’s neck, sucking into the skin harshly. 

Chen lets out a strangled cry, jerking in Lu Han’s grip as he arches his back and Lu Han keeps a firm grip on his hips, holding him steady. Chen gasps, panting loudly into Lu Han’s room, hands scrambling for purchase behind him and scratching over Lu Han’s skin. Lu Han gently hushes him before slowly kissing down his back, smirking against skin as Chen moans wantonly his hands slipping to Chen’s pants and slowly tugging them open and down, freeing his erection and releasing a strangled groan from Chen’s throat. 

Mouth still dragging down Chen’s back, kissing and licking and drinking in the sounds falling from Chen, Lu Han slowly allows Chen to slump forward, traveling carefully down his back and cradling him gently as he sags and breathes harshly. Chen sighs into the light touches before suddenly sagging, knees buckling and sending them both to the floor as he cries out, Lu Han’s mouth hitting an apparent sensitive spot mid-back and leaving him panting harshly into the floor. 

Hands and knees supporting him, Chen tries to push himself back up. “It’s okay,” Lu Han whispers against his skin, lips pressed to searing flesh as he runs his hands up Chen’s sides, feeling him shivering under him. 

“Why didn’t you ever pet me like this when I was a cat,” Chen chokes out and Lu Han stills, tongue flat against Chen’s spine before drawing away. 

“Are you really sure you would have like me licking down your back when you were a cat?” Lu Han asks, hands gently massaging Chen’s slim hips as Chen shudders. 

“Maybe not,” Chen breathes out, arching slightly to look back at him. “But you seem to understand what petting is.”

“Human petting,” Lu Han says, voice heavy in his throat as his skin burns, sliding his chest up Chen’s back and feeling him shudder under the drag of bare skin. “It’s not the same,” he finishes, speaking low into Chen’s ear and Chen moans, arching his back into Lu Han and rubbing his ass into Lu Han’s groin. Lu Han huffs and shifts his hips forward, hands going to slowly wrap around Chen’s arousal and tugging gently. Chen gasps harshly before jerking back into Lu Han, moaning syllables. 

“Again,” Chen gasps out and Lu Han begins to slide his hands up Chen’s cock but Chen whines and presses back hard into Lu Han, shaking his head. “No, again,” he pants and Lu Han understands. 

Dragging his hands back down Chen’s sides, Lu Han swiftly leans back, Chen whimpering at the loss of contact, and shifts back, frowning as Lu Han shuffles over to the blankets and grabs the bottle before crawling after him. “What are you doing?”

“We’re using this,” Lu Han says, skin hot and still panting slightly. 

Chen looks down at the bottle of clear liquid curiously. “Do we eat it?”

“No,” Lu Han says, smiling faintly as Chen paws the bottle with curious fingers. He huffs a laugh before leaning in, dragging a gentle kiss from Chen and Chen crawls into him, folding closer as he props himself on his knees, fingers buried in Lu Han’s hair as he licks into his mouth. Lu Han quickly uncaps the bottle pouring a bit of lube into his fingers before smoothing a hand down Chen’s back, dipping down the curve of his spine and Chen moans into his mouth, Lu Han’s fingers pressing gently at the small opening that twitches under his fingers. 

Chen gasps into Lu Han’s mouth, legs spreading wide on either side of him as Lu Han presses in with a lubed finger, working into Chen’s body and leaving him panting into Lu Han’s mouth. Lu Han huffs back, feeling his blood race through him as he presses hard against his jeans. Chen’s eyes flash down as he rocks back on Lu Han’s finger and a hand drops from Lu Han’s hair to brush at the button of Lu Han’s jeans. Lu Han presses a second slicked finger into Chen as Chen pulls open the button of Luhna’s pants and shoves down the zipper. He moans, forehead pressed hard against Lu Han’s as Lu Han stretches him, fingers scissoring in and out of Chen rhythmically as Chen tries to drag away Lu Han’s jeans harshly. Lu Han puts a steadying hand on Chen’s hip, thumb pressing in to hold him. 

With Chen rocking back onto his fingers, Lu Han presses in a third digit and Chen groans, stilling to a halt and shivering, fingers wrapping around Lu Han’s cock and tugging upwards. Lu Han waits until Chen thrusts back almost frantically onto him and then pulls his fingers out, hand at Chen’s hip pushing him back and Chen whines high and loud. 

“Turn around,” Lu Han says, voice rough and Chen blinks before crawling back and looking over his shoulder at Lu Han. Swiftly pouting lube over his own arousal, Lu Han moves forward and gently smooths his hands over Chen’s skin, easing him onto all fours, chest pressed into an arching back and cock throbbing between his legs. He presses quick kisses into Chen’s neck and Chen growls, pressing back with his hips, making Lu Han gasp as he presses harshly against Chen’s ass and Chen whines. 

Lu Han grabs him firmly by the hip to stop Chen from repeating the action and quickly positions himself. Chen pants, turning to try to see Lu Han and barely gets out the first syllable of his name before Lu Han presses in, groan pulling from his own throat as he slides into Chen fully and Chen lets out a long sharp moan. Lu Han shifts, and Chen shudders under him, fingers fisted into the floor as his legs shake. Lu Han gives an experimental thrust and Chen moans again. 

Breaths hitching, Lu Han draws back out of the heat of Chen’s still tight body. Chen shifts as Lu Han presses back in and drops his head down, heaving breaths to the floor. “Chen,” Lu Han huffs into Chen’s back, mouth presses to the line of his back and Chen gives a loud whine, back arching as Lu Han thrusts in again, hands firm on his hips as he presses hot open mouthed kisses down his spine, setting up a strong rhythm and making them both groan. 

Chen’s skin is burning hot, body writhing up and into Lu Han as he fucks him, dragging teeth and tongue down sensitive skin and Lu Han feels drunk, head clouded and body flaring as his skin skitters and tight shocks wrap around his lower stomach and groin. Chen lets out a harsh whining gasp as Lu Han shifts and his arms give out, sending them both pressed into the floor as Lu Han’s hips snap forward, harder and faster into Chen and his hands let go of Chen’s hips, rocking back into him, as they instead reach forward to clench over Chen’s scrabbling fingers. Chen has his cheek pressed into the floor, face flushed and eyes closed as his open mouth pants harshly. 

Lu Han only realizes after a moment of watching Chen’s mouth moving that he’s panting his name into the air and he gasps, feeling Chen’s ass clench tight around him as he snaps forward, shocks racing up his spine. He lets out a loud low gasp, voice stuttering as he presses his forehead to Chen’s shoulder and loses his rhythm, hips snapping forward frantically as Chen mewls and Lu Han, heart pounding through his chest and gasps loud as cannon fire in his ears, reaches down with one hand to drag over Chen’s twitching stomach. It barely takes three tugs before Chen is coming, hard and loudly into Lu Han’s fist, walls clamping down in harsh spasms. A few more frantic snaps of hips sends Lu Han over the edge with a loud groan, hips stuttering as Chen shakes under him before sagging to the floor. Lu Han has barely enough strength or sanity as his body races and his vision swims to keep himself from dropping down and crushing Chen. 

Arms shaking as waves crash over him, cock pulsing repeatedly inside twitching muscle, Lu Han finally manages to sag gently atop Chen, who is rasping at the floor and looking completely shagged out. Lu Han slowly shifts, pulling out with a groan and Chen shudders under him, as he collapses to the side, panting as his orgasm leaves ghosting tendrils over his skin and he pulls Chen to him, back nestling into his chest and wraps his arms around him. Chen hums and snuggles back, legs straightening and, even if they’re on the floor, Lu Han feels like he couldn’t be more comfortable. 

After a few minutes, Chen sighs and his fingers come to play with Lu Han’s around his torso. “What is this called?” he asks, voice dry and rough. 

A smile spreads over Lu Han’s face without effort, his fingers playing with Chen’s lazily. “Spooning,” he answers and Chen stills before shuffling around to look at Lu Han, eyes wide. 

“Spooning?” Chen says, looking hopelessly intrigued.

“Yep,” Lu Han says, smiling. 

“Spoons,” Chen says, eyes flashing between Lu Han’s and Lu Han laughs, leaning forward and biting Chen on the nose gently. 

“No, just spooning,” Lu Han tells Chen gently. “Though this is cuddling.”

Chen huffs, wriggling closer to Lu Han and wrapping an arm around his back and pulling them closer. “I know what cuddling is,” Chen grumbles, before burying his face in Lu Han’s neck and sighing tiredly. “Now, we nap.”

“Really?” Lu Han asks, even as sleep drags at his eyes and the soft breathing of Chen against his skin is a pleasant lull against the quiet thrum of post-orgasmic thrill. 

“Yes,” Chen says, lazily tracing patterns into Lu Han’s side as he presses a kiss to Lu Han’s neck. “We nap.”

Lu Han huffs a laugh, squeezing Chen tighter and burying his nose into Chen’s hair, breathing deeply as his eyes close and he drifts off to the soft hum in Chen’s throat. 

Junmyeon wakes them up an hour and a half later by barging into Lu Han’s room, ranting about his shoe lifts before catching sight of them on the floor and letting out a loud stream of curses. Chen spooks and nearly drags Lu Han into his desk before Lu Han exasperatedly pushes Junmyeon out of the room. Junmyeon continues to rant at him as Lu Han pushes him down the hall way and into the living room where Sehun is seated on the couch. Sehun looks up, initially frowning before his face turns bright red as he catches sight of Lu Han. Lu Han rolls his eyes and tells him he knows Sehun has seen a naked man before because Junmyeon is not shy about showing off his abs. Junmyeon smacks Lu Han over the head and demands to know where Lu Han put his running shoes. 

Lu Han digs them out of the laundry basket and hands them to Junmyeon with a tired look as Sehun looks determinately at the television. 

Lu Han pauses by the couch. “Honestly, it’s just a penis,” he says, looking down at the scowling face of the other. “You have one too. Unless…” He trails off and leans over Sehun, eyebrows raised curiously. 

“Jesus Fucking Christ, Sehun has a penis,” Junmyeon says, coming into the room and frowning at his long time roommate. 

Lu Han wags his eyebrows suggestively at Junmyeon and Junmyeon huffs, rolling his eyes at him before dropping onto the couch next to Sehun, laying a firm but steady hand against Sehun’s thigh and ignoring Lu Han. Sehun swallows, his tongue flashing out between his lips as he looks up at Lu Han warily. 

“Don't worry,” Lu Han says, with a small jerk of his head. “I’ve never slept with Junmyeon. That would be like fucking my brother. My horribly unattractive younger brother. With measles.”

“You and your fuck toy are really loud, you know?” Sehun says, frowning up at Lu Han, voice clipped around the edges. 

“I bet you and Junmyeon are too,” Lu Han says, throwing them a sly smirk as Junmyeon sighs and Sehun pulls an arm over him. “We should have competitions.”

“I want him out by the end of the day,” Junmyeon says, voice strained as he watches Lu Han retreat back to his room. “He can’t stay here.”

Lu Han pauses. “And why not?” he asks, striding back into the living room. “I don’t see why he can’t stay here.”

“Because this is a shared apartment and I didn’t agree to him living with us,” Junmyeon says, frowning over the couch. 

“Can he please put on some pants?” Sehun asks, leaning into Junmyeon and pointedly not looking at Lu Han. 

“And put on some clothing,” Junmyeon adds, pointedly looking at Lu Han’s bare crotch. 

“We’re all men,” Lu Han says, opening his arms slightly. “I don’t see why we should be ashamed.”

“You should be ashamed,” Junmyeon grumbles as Sehun pulls him closer. “Do you want something to drink?”

“He’s not leaving,” Lu Han says, turning to walk back to his room with light but determined steps. 

“Yes, he is,” Junmyeon calls back.

“No, he isn’t,” Lu Han says firmly, stepping back into his room and closing the door. Chen is once more curled up in the blankets, poking at them interestedly. Lu Han watches him, the slim curving lines of his body nestled carefully among blankets and sheets, dark hair tousled as his eyes dart about sharply. 

There is no way in Hell Lu Han is letting Junmyeon kick Chen out. 

Sehun stays the night. Lu Han briefly wonders if he and Junmyeon really are taking up his proposal to see who is the loudest fuck as Chen jerks at their commotion audible even through Lu Han’s closed door. Lu Han sighs, wrapping Chen closer into his arms as Chen nestles, back pressed to Lu Han’s front and traces Lu Han’s forearm, murmuring ‘spooning’ and ‘spoons’ to himself before drifting off to sleep. Lu Han dresses him in his slightly too-big-for-Chen clothing the next day after their shower before trudging to the kitchen and grabbing bowls for cereal. Chen wanders in a few minutes later, hair flying in every direction and Junmyeon, just emerging from the bedroom, sighs. 

There is a brief moment where Chen seems to brighten, about to run to Junmyeon in greeting before he stills, face falling slightly as it creases in a frown and he turns to grab his bowl from Lu Han. Lu Han watches him carefully as he grabs his spoon and trudges to the table, sitting down and clumsily feeding himself with his spoon. 

“I thought I said he couldn’t stay,” Junmyeon says, voice low to Lu Han as he takes his own bowl of cereal. 

“Well, are you letting Sehun stay over?” Lu Han retorts, feeling his throat itch as he pokes Junmyeon in the side. “Look, I’m not kicking him out.”

Junmyeon turns, eyeing Lu Han carefully before his mouth thins. “What, are you trying to tell me you’re in love with him or something?”

Lu Han shrugs, taking a bite of cereal and chewing at Junmyeon. Junmyeon scoffs before pouring the milk. “No,” he says, taking his own bite of cereal before wandering to the table and sitting opposite Chen. 

Chen chews on Special K for a few minutes, watching Junmyeon eat carefully. Junmyeon shifts uncomfortably under such scrutiny before finally sighing and putting down his spoon, looking up at Chen and frowning. “What?”

Chen cocks his head to the side. “Nothing,” he says before turning back to his cereal and eating as if he hadn’t just been staring at Junmyeon for the past three minutes straight. Junmyeon looks up at Lu Han with a frown and Lu Han shrugs happily, dropping his bowl into the sink before wandering over and putting his hands gently on Chen’s shoulders. Chen looks up at him curiously. 

“Why are you up so early?” Junmyeon asks, finally seeming to realize Lu Han is alive before the hour of seven, which is usually when he’d be growling profanities at Junmyeon for so much as sneezing. 

“We’re going to get Jongdae some new clothes,” Lu Han says, smiling as Chen’s expression turns sour. 

“I don’t need new clothes,” Chen huffs as Junmyeon’s face widens in shock, looking down at Chen. 

“Sure you do,” Lu Han says, ruffing his hair and Chen swats at his hands agitatedly. “Besides, it’ll be fun to get you things just so I can take them off.”

“Is he always this enthusiastic in the mornings?” Sehun grumbles as he wanders into the kitchen, rubbing at his eyes and blinking tiredly at Lu Han. 

“Unless I’m hung over,” Lu Han says, looking over at the taller as he flops down beside Junmyeon and lays his head down on the table, sighing. “You two sounded like you had fun last night.”

“Loads,” Junmyeon says with a small smirk and Lu Han gives him a saucy look. Junmyeon rolls his eyes. “What time will you be home?”

“Probably after ten,” Lu Han muses, kneading his fingers into Chen’s shoulders and Chen relaxes gently into his chair, head sagging. “I have a later shift today and want to take this one out for dinner.”

“You’re taking him out for dinner?” Junmyeon asks, eyebrows raised. 

Lu Han just grins as Chen taps him gently on the hand with his spoon. Lu Han grabs for it lazily as Junmyeon watches them with a frown. Lu Han drags Chen out the door with him a few minutes later. They go to a local department store and Lu Han tugs Chen around for a good hour and a half of finding him proper suitable not-Lu Han’s-sleep-shirt clothing, fixing him with some proper underwear as well before picking out a simple pair of shoes. Chen grumbles most of the time he isn’t distracted by the weird styles and mannequins and random people greeting them as they walk. 

“They’re just saying hi,” Lu Han says, laughing slightly as Chen nearly jumps into a pile of backpacks as one stores clerk bows at him with the typical ‘welcome.’ “They’re not going to try to eat you.”

“But it’s weird,” Chen says, hunkering down, arms clutching his new purchases as he sticks to Lu Han’s side. “Why can’t they just walk by and ignore you? That’s normal.”

Lu Han bites back a laugh, instead pulling Chen out of the store and to work where he locks himself and Chen in the bathroom and tries to get Chen into his new clothing. Chen seems far more interested in taking their clothes off and is delightfully successful as Lu Han, finally growling after Chen drags his pants off for a fifth time, jerks them off together, Chen coming first and moaning into Lu Han’s shoulder before Lu Han follows a few moments later. Lu Han cleans them with toilet paper and Chen finally consents to clothing. Jongin keeps showing them knowing looks through the day and Tao bounds about in ignorant bliss, occasionally latching onto Jongin and chirping about something as Jongin rests a not so innocent hand at his hip.

Around five, Chen slips in between Lu Han’s arms and nestles back against his chest, staring at the computer screen in wonder as Lu Han checks reports. When Lu Han asks what Chen is doing, Chen glances briefly over his shoulder before stating simply “Spooning” and going back to sounding out the Hangeul typed across the screen. Lu Han hides his grin in Chen’s shoulder as he types out the profits from last week and does an inventory scan of all the books they sold. 

Dinner turns out to be not such a great idea as Chen can’t seem to understand how tonkatsu works and instead just picks it up with his hands before yelping at how hot it is and flashing Lu Han an accusatory stare. Lu Han laughs before Chen starts grumbling about how he never had this problem when he was a cat and Lu Han chokes, coughing violently. He spends the rest of the meal teaching Chen how to properly eat _tonkatsu_ , eventually asking for a fork, and forcing the thought of Chen as a cat from his mind. 

But it’s there. Sticking in his brain like a thorn. Chen turned into a human two weeks ago. Just how long this whole human thing lasts, Lu Han realizes he doesn’t know. He has apparently fallen into his thoughts, as Chen is patting Lu Han on the hand with a spoon, dragging Lu Han from his thoughts with a concerned look on his sharp features. “Are you okay?”

Lu Han blinks, taking in the face of Chen sitting before him and smiles. “I’m fine,” he answers, grabbing Chen’s spoon and taking his hand instead, lacing their fingers together. 

Chen stares at their intertwined hands. “Is this like spooning?” he asks, looking up at Lu Han. 

“Yeah,” Lu Han says, squeezing their hands together gently. “This is holding hands. It’s one way humans show they marked someone as theirs.”

Chen blinks, looking up from their hands. “So you’re marking me right now?”

“Yes,” Lu Han says, fingers tingling. Chen looks back down at their hands and hums, eyes studying the way their fingers fit together. Lu Han’s heart skips. 

It’s past ten thirty when they get home and Junmyeon’s door is already closed as they walk by. Chen freezes and stares at it as they walk into the living room and Lu Han looks at him curiously before he hears a soft moan from the room as well. Chen looks fascinated for a moment before Lu Han grabs his arm and steers him towards his room, fingers lacing with Chen’s as he shuffles him into the bedroom. Door closed, Lu Han tugs his shirt off absently and tosses it aside, running a hand through his hair, mind slightly scattered. He stills when he feels Chen press into his back and soft fingers skitter over to lace around his stomach. 

“What are we doing now?” Lu Han asks, looking over his shoulder at Chen, who has his mouth pressed into the curve of Lu Han’s shoulder and is nibbling gently. 

“I’m spooning you,” Chen says, looking up at Lu Han. Lu Han’s heart throbs in his chest and he’s turning before he realizes it, wrapping his arms around Chen and pressing a kiss into his mouth. Chen kisses back lazily, hands traveling gently up Lu Han’s back to rest on his shoulders and kneading gently. Lu Han breaks the kiss after Chen makes a soft sort of moan in the back of his throat and draws back, just resting his forehead against Chen’s. Chen looks up, eyes flecked with gold as always and Lu Han swallows around a sudden lump in his throat. 

“Do you miss it?” 

Chen frowns. “Do I miss what?”

“Being a cat,” Lu Han sighs, pulling away from Chen to drag Chen’s shirt off, throwing it in the laundry basket as Chen shifts, sighing at being freed from the confines of the fabric. 

“Well, being human means I have to wear clothing, which I still think is stupid,” Chen says, giving Lu Han a noncommittal look before he shifts curling his neck to rub his ear against his shoulder. “But it’s not so bad.” His watches Lu Han for a moment before shifting his weight and walking over to him, wrapping his arms back around his waist and pressing his face into Lu Han’s chest with a sigh. “Am I a better human than I was a cat?”

Lu Han stills slightly, arms pausing as they wrap around Chen’s slighter form, one hand coming to automatically stroke through dark hair. “I like you no matter what you are,” he says, feeling that odd lump in his throat even more as Chen nuzzles into him, sighing. 

They end up curled together on the sofa, discovery channel flashing a documentary on native people of Bali with Chen snuggled into Lu Han as he asks him question after question about humans and Lu Han answers with varying levels of consciousness. Lu Han falls asleep with Chen humming a purr into his neck and dreams of Chen, one minute pressed to him and smiling that stupid catlike smile before he’s gone, turning his back and vanishing in a wisp of smoke and Lu Han feels so empty it hurts. 

The next morning, Lu Han wakes up alone on the couch. Blinking in the bright sunlight streaming in through the living room windows, Lu Han groans at his stiff muscles and then freezes, looking down and noting the distinct absence of Chen. A second later he’s pushing himself up and padding to the kitchen, looking around for the other. Chen isn’t in the kitchen. He also isn’t in the closets, the bathroom, Lu Han’s room, or anywhere in the living room. Lu Han frowns, just about to call out for the other, when his eyes land on Junmyeon’s door. 

Which is open.

Lu Han’s heart drops as ice flows over his skin and he stumbles slightly as he goes to the door, pushing it open carefully. Junmyeon and Sehun are lying in a mess of blankets and naked limbs on Junmyeon’s bed. Chen is curled up in one of the discarded blankets on the floor just at the edge of Junmyeon’s bed, head tucked into his chest and arm thrown over his eyes. Lu Han tries to keep his breathing calm as he takes in the scene. 

If Junmyeon wakes up to Chen in his room, he’s not going to be happy.

If Sehun, who already acts a bit of a diva, wakes up to Chen in Junmyeon’s room, he’s really not going to be happy. 

And Chen…

Chen might not really be dealing so well with being a human after all. 

Especially if it means that Junmyeon can’t stand to have him in the house. 

Fuck. 

Taking careful steps, Lu Han slowly creeps into the room, watching Junmyeon and Sehun’s sleeping forms carefully as he makes his way over to Chen. He crouches down, a hand coming out to gently brush against Chen’s bare shoulder, hoping to God that Chen will be quiet about waking up. Chen shifts slightly under the touch, but doesn’t wake. Swallowing, Lu Han carefully takes him by the shoulder and shakes him lightly. 

Slowly, Chen drags the hand away from his face, scowling and blinking unhappily up at Lu Han. Lu Han tries to keep his breathing soft, eyes flashing up to Junmyeon and Sehun. Chen blinks a few times before a small smile tugs at his mouth. Lu Han barely has the chance to try to whisper ‘get up now’ before Chen reaches out and pulls Lu Han into him with a small sound of contentment. Lu Han flails for a moment, trying to push off of Chen and cover his mouth at the same time as he hears someone shift on the bed. 

Chen doesn’t seem to like the idea of Lu Han pulling away, as he pulls him closer and digs his fingernails into Lu Han’s back. Lu Han gasps and then snaps his mouth shut, trying to stop Chen as he presses up and into him, hard as rock and moaning softly. Lu Han’s mind sends every expletive it knows racing through his brain. 

“Chen, stop,” Lu Han whispers harshly, trying to keep Chen’s hips down as he pushes up. 

“Lu Han,” Chen says, voice husky with sleep as he nuzzles into Lu Han’s shoulder, the bell on his collar jingling slightly. Lu Han grits his teeth as he hears more movement on the bed and looks up just as Sehun sits up, hair wild and blinking blearily through his frown. Lu Han stills, freezing even as Chen burrows into his neck and presses up into his crotch, rubbing insistently. Sehun blinks, looking half asleep, glancing around before his eyes slip down to Lu Han and Chen, hunched on the floor. He makes a strange sort of face, before letting out a grunt and flopping back onto the bed. 

Lu Han’s breath starts racing without his consent.

“What is it?” Junmyeon’s sleep logged voice says from the bed, muffled in something. 

Sehun makes a weird sort of snuffling sound as sheets shift. “Nothing, just Lu Han and Jongdae on the floor.”

Lu Han’s heart goes through metamorphosis. It’s not pleasant.

There is a brief pause, in which Junmyeon seems to hum something before silence. Lu Han, feeling extremely jittery, tries to pry Chen away and Chen just latches on more. Then Junmyeon and Sehun seem to realize the oddity of Sehun’s observation and both of them rocket off the bed, Junmyeon yelling “What?!” and Sehun yelling “Holy fuck!”

Chen, predictably at this point, does exactly what he did when he was cat and continues to do whenever there is a particularly loud or startling thing. He freaks the fuck out. Lu Han barely has a moment to try to push himself up and away before Chen is throwing him off and himself out of the room in panic. Lu Han grunts in pain as this ends with him having a knee slammed into his stomach and sharp nails dug down his back. 

Door slammed open, Lu Han lying on his back, and Junmyeon and Sehun gaping over the side of the bed at him, the day begins. 

Junmyeon and Sehun stare for a moment as Lu Han attempts to right himself enough to look at them, wincing as his chest flares where Chen had slammed his knee into his diaphragm. He tries to smile. “Who wants French Toast?” Lu Han asks at their stupefied faces. 

Junmyeon frowns first as Sehun gives a soft sort of helpless whine and flops into the bed, hauling the sheets over himself. 

Lu Han and Junmyeon have a ten minute argument in the kitchen while Sehun showers about why Lu Han and Chen were in Junmyeon’s bedroom and about how Junmyeon does not approve of Chen staying. Lu Han counters by snapping at Junmyeon about how Sehun is staying over. Junmyeon points out Sehun is leaving that morning and going to work. Chen interrupts them after ten minutes with a wide-eyed expression as he slinks into the kitchen. 

“He’s just going to drop you,” Junmyeon says, with a frown to Chen before looking back at Lu Han. “You never settle down.”

“Neither do you,” Lu Han snaps, feeling anger flare in his chest. “It’s a miracle Sehun has lasted this long. Or did you fuck some of the bell hops in Guam claiming it was for business purposes.”

“Excuse me?” 

Lu Han turns as Sehun walks into the kitchen, frowning as he towels his hair. “Nothing,” Lu Han says, running a hand through his hair and walking from the kitchen, feeling more tired than he did when he woke up. Chen blinks as he passes. “Your boyfriend is just an asshole.”

“Oh, like you’re one to talk,” Junmyeon snaps back as Sehun turns to him. 

“What bellhops?” Sehun asks, expression darkening and Junmyeon sighs, frowning at the sink. 

Lu Han slumps into the couch, putting a hand over his face as he hears the couple begin to bicker, yet again, as Junmyeon tries to convince Sehun he’s never cheated or slept around and Sehun doesn’t buy it. Lu Han only opens his eyes when he feels a familiar weight settle into his lap. 

“Am I not allowed to sleep on Junmyeon’s bed anymore?” Chen asks, leaning into Lu Han’s chest. 

Lu Han blinks. “When was the last time you slept on Junmyeon’s bed?” 

“The day before he came back,” Chen mumbles into Lu Han’s chest as he winds his arms around his back. Lu Han feels his heart beat harshly. Chen looks up at him. “I was taking a nap.”

Lu Han sighs, dragging a hand over his face. “From now on, nap on the couch or in my room, okay?” he tells Chen, gently running his fingers through his hair and earning a sigh. 

“But I like Junmyeon master’s bed,” Chen says absently, fingers gently pressing down Lu Han’s skin. 

“What about my bed?” Lu Han asks, looking down as his fingers still in Chen’s hair. 

“You don’t like me on your bed,” Chen says, gently rubbing his face against Lu Han’s neck, nose pressing into his Adam’s apple. 

Lu Han lets a smile spread over his face as his fingers drift to drag down Chen’s neck and come to rest on the black collar around his neck. He pauses, fingers running along the length of material, where it meets skin and earning a small shudder from Chen. “So you’re going to sleep on Junmyeon’s bed instead?”

“I think I’m allowed to sleep on my master’s bed,” Chen says, voice slightly rough as his fingers dig gently into Lu Han’s back, arching slightly as Lu Han’s nails scrape over his skin. 

“I thought I was your new master,” Lu Han says, leaning down slightly to press his face into Chen’s hair, inhaling as his eyes close. “What am I then?”

Chen stills before he looks up, frowning slightly. “You’re my mate,” Chen says, as if this is obvious and Lu Han is vaguely dead. “Junmyeon may still be master to an extent, but you’re my mate.”

Lu Han swallows down the surge of heat that pumps through his veins. “But mate doesn’t mean master.”

“No,” Chen says, shifting to sit up in Lu Han’s lap, dragging his legs around until he’s straddling him, thighs on either side of Lu Han’s and pressed close. “Master means he was the one who first claimed me. Mate is the one I belong to.”

Lu Han feels a smile stretch over his skin. “So you belong to me?”

Chen huffs, pressing further into Lu Han. “You still need a collar,” he says, frowning as he eyes Lu Han’s bare neck. Lu Han traces his fingers over Chen’s, enjoying the way Chen’s eyes drop slightly and his skin heats under his touch. 

“What would it say?” Lu Han asks, his fingers shifting to hook under the thin band. 

“Mine,” Chen answers, voice hitching slightly before he leans forward and presses a hot kiss to Lu Han’s willing mouth. Lu Han’s fingers, still hooked in Chen’s collar, pull him forward and Chen rolls his hips against Lu Han’s, creating a delicious friction between them.

“Jesus Christ, I haven’t even had coffee yet,” Junmyeon growls, walking past them on his way to the bathroom. “Can you keep the pda to a minimum in communal areas?”

“You and Sehun were making out against the sink yesterday,” Lu Han says, as Chen starts and hunkers into Lu Han’s chest, watching Junmyeon with wary eyes as he passes. Junmyeon gives him a skeptical sort of look. “I have to make food there. I hardly think this is that bad.”

“I sit there,” Junmyeon groans. “I don't want to have mental images of you two making out while trying to watch the news.”

“Don’t be jealous just because my boyfriend willingly makes out with me,” Lu Han calls after Junmyeon as he slams the bathroom door closed. Turning back to Chen, he sees him watching the bathroom door with a small frown. 

Sehun walks into the living room a moment later, gives Lu Han and Chen a weird sort of look, before sighing and flopping down into the armchair. Lu Han notices his hair is much messier than it was when he woke up. 

“Sleep well?” Lu Han asks, smiling over to him as Chen busies himself with inspecting his nails, still resting in Lu Han’s lap as if being half naked on someone’s lap is perfectly normal. 

Sehun looks up, blinking slightly at being addressed. He seems to take a moment before he wets his lips with his tongue and shifts. “Yeah, I guess.”

“How long have you two been dating?” Lu Han asks, feeling like he might as well try to figure out who this Sehun guy is if he’s going to be practically shacked up with them. 

Sehun blinks. “Since last month,” he answers, eyes lingering on Chen, a slightly curious glint in them. Lu Han wraps his hands protectively around Chen’s lower back, smiling as Sehun looks back up at him and raises an eyebrow. Lu Han flashes him a kind but very definite smirk that says ‘hands off.’ 

“So you’ve actually been dating for almost a month,” Lu Han continues, as if he hasn’t just made a significant territory claim. “That’s nice.”

“Well, we met through work,” Sehun says, shifting as he seems to loosen up slightly from his perpetual initial dislike. “His company and mine came to do a business deal and we met talking over the details.”

“Sounds romantic,” Lu Han says with a suggestive wag of his eyebrows. 

Sehun frowns, tongue sticking out again as he watches Lu Han, Chen seeming to grow bored of looking at his hands and instead curling back into Lu Han’s chest, nuzzling his head under Lu Han’s chin. “How did you two meet?” Sehun asks, watching Chen’s hands as they trace along Lu Han’s collarbones. 

Lu Han considers his answer for a moment. “Junmyeon brought him home,” Lu Han says, in complete honesty and Sehun’s eyes snap to slits. A second later, he’s pushing himself off the armchair and stalking to the bathroom, which he wrenches open and then storms inside. There is a brief moment of silence before a loud bang, following by scuffling sounds and the angry hum of Sehun’s voice before Junmyeon says something and someone definitely gets hit. 

Lu Han smirks to himself. Chen, having perked up as Sehun stomped away, looks over at Lu Han with a small frown. “They don’t pet very nicely,” he says, hands resting gently on Lu Han’s chest. 

Lu Han grins to himself. ‘They have special petting,” he tells Chen as Chen blinks at him before turning to look back at the shower, where the sound of arguing and a few moans can be heard amid the unmistakable sounds of someone being hit. Lu Han’s bet is on Junmyeon being the victim. “You wouldn’t like it.” 

Chen blinks before turning back to Lu Han, a soft crease between his eyes. “I like it when you pet me,” Chen says, before snuggling back into Lu Han, tucking his head under Lu Han’s chin as the sounds of Junmyeon and Sehun having extremely aggravated and probably sexual interactions drifts from the bathroom. Lu Han smiles to himself, letting his fingers drift once more to pet through Chen’s hair and trace over his collar. 

Lu Han doesn’t shower that day. Neither does Chen. Instead, they avoid the bathroom, which Sehun and Junmyeon don’t seem to want to forfeit as they continue to argue and spit at each other and Sehun apparently hits Junmyeon around a lot. To his credit though, it also sounds as of Junmyeon only tolerates this for so long and probably shoves Sehun into a wall a few times in retaliation for the abuse. Lu Han might be concerned if he isn’t so annoyed at Junmyeon. And if he didn't know about Junmyeon’s unspoken kink with abusive dominance. 

Lu Han has a short shift today and Chen decides to stay in the children’s section and pelt Jongin with questions about humans for the entire day. Lu Han doesn't really bother stopping him and Jongin, it seems, doesn’t find questions like “Why do you remove the fur on your face?” and “What is a vegetable?’ as strange, instead slowly explaining them to Chen with a relatively disconnected expression. Tao keeps watching them with an almost fond expression.

“Stop,” Lu Han says, finally. “I can’t even tell which one you’re gushing at, and it’s inciting my territorial instincts.”

“You sound like some sort of protective animal,” Tao says, shooting him an amused look.

“I am protective of my mate,” Lu Han says, sorting through preorder forms on the new Stephen King novel. “Hands, and eyes, off.”

“He’s really nice,” Tao says, glancing back over to the children’s section.

“Jongin?” Lu Han asks, looking up fully to the boy in question, who seems to be explaining umbrellas to a fascinated looking Chen. 

“Well, Jongin is also nice, but I was referring to Jongdae,” Tao says, with a shrug. Lu Han frowns at him to show his confusion. “He was apparently the one who told Jongin to ask me out. Or something.” Tao scratches at the back of his neck. “He apparently made a comment about something like ‘animal magnetism’ or ‘obviously a good match’ to Jongin and told him to talk to me.” Lu Han stares. “Anyway,” Tao continues, flashing Lu Han a smile. “I’m really happy you two found each other.” He grins, looking back over at the children’s section. “And he clearly adores you.”

“Oh yeah?” Lu Han says, feeling his heart leap erratically as Tao’s words play about in his mind. 

“Well, he keeps looking at you with this look that is a mix between complete adoration and what is probably animalistic craving.”

Lu Han looks up. Chen is, indeed, looking at him from the children’s section, eyes unblinking and dark as they train on him. Lu Han smiles and Chen doesn’t blink, just continues to look before his mouth splits in a brilliant smile. The next second, Lu Han is nearly bowled over as Tao flings himself at him, wrapping his arms around his head and positively wailing about how beautiful he and ‘Jongdae’ are together and Lu Han frantically hits him with the price scanner to try to get him to let go. 

Tao laughs and continues to tease Lu Han, poking him in the side as Lu Han periodically smacks at him with various objects, eventually giving up and just letting Tao smush him against his side disgruntledly as he beams at him. Chen apparently doesn't approve of this. 

At all. 

Tao’s eyes widen as Chen, suddenly appearing out of seemingly nowhere, shoves a hand between them and wriggles his way in, separating the two coworkers. Tao looks down in slightly shock as Chen glares at him, his arm wrapped around Lu Han’s waist possessively and stance highly defensive. 

“You don’t see me trying to mark your mate,” Chen says harshly at Tao’s astonished face and Lu Han buries his face in Chen’s shoulder to hide himself from the horribly shocked look on Tao’s face. “Hands off.” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t-“ Tao begins as Lu Han looks back up and tries to pry Chen off. Chen is apparently a lot stronger than he appears as his fingers dig almost painfully into Lu Han’s side and refuse to relinquish their hold. 

“Mine,” Chen says firmly and Tao blinks as Lu Han sighs, resisting rolling his eyes as his coworker finally takes a few steps back. Chen seems pleased with the distance as he nods and then turns, looking over the store lazily as if he didn’t just publicly claim Lu Han at his job. Lu Han just shakes his head, looking at Chen. Chen finally turns to him. “What?”

“He wasn’t trying to claim me,” Lu Han says, keeping his voice low as Tao keeps throwing them wary looks. “He was just-“

“You need a collar,” Chen interrupts him, eyes on his neck. 

“I am not getting a collar,” Lu Han deadpans, frowning at Chen. 

“Well, you need something to show you’re mine,” Chen says, voice cutting slightly as he looks at Lu Han. 

“Humans don’t-“

“I am not like other humans,” Chen cuts him off and Lu Han snaps his mouth closed. Chen is almost glaring as he looks at Lu Han intensely. “I am not like other humans, Lu Han. I may be learning about them, trying to be like them, but I am not the same. I never will be.”

Lu Han pauses, pressing his lips together before he nods. “Okay,” he says, and tries to ignore the painful crawl in his chest because he knows Chen is right. Chen isn’t like other humans. Because Chen technically isn’t human. 

Chen is watching him carefully. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Lu Han says, offering a smile and snaking a hand around Chen’s neck, thumb running along his black collar and Chen’s eyes drop to his mouth. Lu Han raises an eyebrow and lets his thumb rake along the collar again, nail just grazing against Chen’s skin. Chen’s breath hitches and Lu Han’s eyes widen as Chen’s eyes flicker and the gold vanishes for a second amid the dark brown and his pupils flare.

They go home around five, leaving Tao and Jongin to fend for themselves as Chen follows Lu Han closely home, hand wrapped firmly around his and eyeing anyone they pass boldly as if staring down potential threats to his claim on Lu Han. They’re barely in the apartment five minutes before Junmyeon stalks up to Lu Han, shoves a stack of papers in his chest and steers him out of the apartment. 

“What are we doing?” Lu Han asks, not really bothering to protest against the annoyed line of Junmyeon’s mouth.

“Putting up 'lost' posters,” Junmyeon says in clipped tones. 

“Aw, did Sehun run away?” Lu Han asks, pausing and giving Junmyeon an overly sympathetic look.

Junmyeon glares at him. “Sehun is in the living room and helped me make these this afternoon,” he says, voice annoyed. “You lost my cat. So we’re going to try to figure out how to get him back and hope to god someone has seen him.” Junmyeon sighs, eyes closing as he lets his arms go limp at his sides. “I still can’t believe you lost Chen, Lu Han.” He turns to Lu Han with an annoyed but tired look. “I asked you to do one thing while I was gone and you can’t even look after a goddamn cat.”

Lu Han stills, looking at his long time roommate and friend. He swallows, feeling his throat scratch. “Look, Junmyeon, I didn’t necessarily lose Chen,” he begins, feeling like he’s probably going to regret this as soon as he does it.

Junmyeon turns from where he’s putting up a ‘LOST CAT’ poster by the elevator. “You didn’t?” he says, eyebrows raised. “Where then, where is he, because he’s not home.”

“Well, it’s complicated,” Lu Han says, shifting his grip on his own fliers. 

Junmyeon’s frown increases. “What, did you actually eat Chen?”

Lu Han starts slightly, the mental image appalling of eating a cat. “No, I did not eat Chen,” he snaps, frowning. “I, well, he-“

“Oh my God,” Junmyeon says, dropping his hands as he looks back at Lu Han. “You killed my fucking cat, didn't you.”

“I didn’t kill your cat!” Lu Han bites, feeling his chest clench. “He’s-“

“He’s what, Lu Han?” Junmyeon snaps, taking an angry step towards Lu Han.

“He’s Jongdae,” Lu Han says, before slamming his jaw shut. 

Junmyeon looks at him, eyes wide and surprised before he lets out a disbelieving scoff. “So, what, my cat magically turned human? My cat, who hated you, turned human, and is living with us as your boyfriend? My cat, who you couldn’t bond with for shit, by some sort of miracle became a human and is now living and dating you and super sexual? You’re telling me you’re dating my cat, Lu Han?”

Lu Han swallows. “Yes,” he says.

“You fucking asshole,” Junmyeon says, voice low as he turns and continues to poster the walls of their floor with ‘LOST CAT’ posters with a giant blown up picture of Chen from when he was a cat and Junmyeon’s cell phone number. “I know you're a dick, but this is low even for you. That’s the worst lie I’ve ever heard.”

Lu Han presses his lips together. If he’s honest with himself, it does sound completely absurd. But, well, it is also somehow the truth. He chooses not to argue with Junmyeon, who is beyond irate, and instead follows him around the block postering for a cat that isn’t actually lost and is instead somehow in a weird sort of relationship with Lu Han. And a human. 

Finally done with plastering the neighborhood with ‘LOST CAT’ signs, Junmyeon and Lu Han return to the apartment to hear Sehun laughing over the sounds of the television. Junmyeon gets a sort of weird smile on his face as he walks into the living room, Lu Han following and wondering where Chen is. He doesn’t really have to ponder for long. 

Chen is lying on the floor, on his back, half curled into himself, and looking completely absorbed in a small satchel he has pressed to his face. His eyes are also blown almost completely black as he slowly rubs the satchel over his cheek and murmurs to himself. Sehun, seated on the couch with a few cat toys in his lap, is laughing his head off as he watches Chen apparently degrade into critical stages of being high out of his mind. 

Lu Han feels like his stomach may have just gone atmospheric. “What the fuck is that?” he demands, blood pounding cold under his skin. 

“Lu Han, your boyfriend is the best,” Sehun laughs, breathless as he holds a hand over his stomach and Junmyeon looks at Chen warily. “I swear, we were just poking through the cat toys and the next thing I know he’s rolling on the floor with that thing like it’s his long lost child.”

“Is that what I think it is?” Junmyeon asks, looking between Lu Han and Chen, eyes wide. 

But Lu Han ignores him, instead vaulting over the couch to crouch over Chen, who looks up with wide dark eyes that are hazed beyond anything he’s seen. “Jongdae,” Lu Han says, remembering the name he gave Chen. “How are you feeling?”

Chen slowly rocks his head to the side, pressing the satchel into his nose and inhaling deeply. “Murrrrmmmmmmmmmmm,” Chen says, muffled in the satchel as he looks up at Lu Han and lolls a bit. 

Lu Han’s throat goes dry as Sehun bursts out laughing again. He reaches forward, trying to take the satchel from Chen and Chen watches him with intensified intrigue, eyes fixed on his hand as it nears. Lu Han has almost managed to grab the satchel when Chen suddenly seems to realize what he’s doing and lashes out, rolling away and clutching at the small pouch, eyes wild.(6) 

“Is that catnip?” Junmyeon asks, still standing where Lu Han left and staring as Chen bites onto the pouch, eyes still trained on Lu Han, flashing. 

“Of course it’s fucking catnip!” Lu Han snaps, nerves on edge as he watches Chen practically writhe on the floor. “What does it look like? Pop rocks?!”

“But catnip-“

Lu Han ignores Junmyeon, instead launching himself onto Chen as Sehun laughs himself into a fit on the couch, keeling over and Chen tries to bolt, limbs kicking in every direction as Lu Han tries to wrestle the catnip from him. Chen, despite his thin wiry frame, is surprisingly strong, bucking and hissing against Lu Han, a growl in his throat as Lu Han tries to grab for the catnip pouch and Chen twists away, the satchel clenched possessively in his teeth. 

“You have to let me have that,” Lu Han growls out, trying to make another grab at the catnip as Chen pushes his face away harshly.

“Mine!” Chen wails, fingernails scrabbling harshly at Lu Han’s arms and breaking the skin. “Mine mine mine mine mine! Oooh it’s mine. Mine. Uh, so gooood.” He groans, low and harsh in his throat and Lu Han spits sounds, trying to grab for the pouch. Lu Han stills, pushing down and managing to knock the pouch out of Chen’s mouth. Chen is heaving breathes under him, panting as Lu Han pins him and his eyes clear for a second. “Lu Han,” he pants as Sehun continues to giggle into a pillow. “Luhaaaaan,” Chen repeats, voice dragging into a moan and he writhes again. 

“Holy shit,” Junmyeon says as Chen surges up and suddenly wraps around Lu Han, hands scratching at him and Lu Han barely has enough time to try to push himself away before Chen is clinging to him, dragging at his clothing. Lu Han just manages to grab the catnip and throw it at Junmyeon before Chen latches his mouth onto Lu Han’s neck and bites. Hard. 

“Get rid of that,” Lu Han grunts, panting slightly as he tries to fight Chen off from where he’s nearly biting through the skin of his neck, nails harsh on his skin. “And don’t for the love of fuck bother us.” Junmyeon nods, eyes wide as Sehun finally seems to calm down from his giggle fit and Lu Han hauls Chen firmly from the floor. 

Chen lets out a low predatory growl, teeth clamping down painfully on the juncture of Lu Han’s neck and shoulder and he grits his teeth, pulling Chen away from the living room. “Lu Han,” Chen growls, voice almost dangerous as it rumbles from his chest and Lu Han shoves him up, steering him towards his room as quickly as he can, trying to avoid Chen’s feet as the other tries to trip him. They barely make it into his room before Chen suddenly ruts against Lu Han and he loses his balance, topping them both to the floor in a flurry of limbs, growls, and grunts. 

Chen is growling, hands harsh as they dig into Lu Han, ripping over him and tugging frantically at his clothing, leaving long red lines in his skin. Lu Han gasps as Chen bites down again before he manages to finally pull a hand free, instantly reaching up to try to tug Chen’s head away, fisting in his hair. This seems to be a bad idea as Chen just growls and bites harder. Trying to roll and buck Chen off, Lu Han fumbles, hands scrabbling before slipping down Chen’s neck and, with a frantic tug of fingers, Lu Han pulls at Chen’s collar. 

Instantly, Chen stills, mouth going slack enough that Lu Han can finally push him off and away, chest heaving as he looks at Chen. Chen is panting, voice sounding ragged in his throat as his eyes flicker about frantically, pupils huge and face flushed. “Mine,” he says, and his voice is as low as animalistic growls, hands once more flashing up to try to drag Lu Han to him. “Luhaaaaaan.”

Lu Han barely has a moment before Chen is dragging them together, hands digging into Lu Han’s hips and gripping harshly, fingernails sharp against his skin. Chen is hard. Fully hard as he rolls up and into Lu Han’s groin, moaning low and loud into the room and Lu Han gasps as he ruts up without rhythm into him, hips and actions frantic. Harsh pants and moans gurgle up from his throat as he presses his head back, neck arching with his chest and mouth open, hot and red as he lets out a strangled sound. 

“Chen,” Lu Han pants, trying to push Chen back and slow him down. “Chen, you-“

Chen cuts him off with a high wail, entire form shuddering against the floor as he writhes upwards, hips shaking as his fingers clench painfully. Lu Han watches, breathless, as Chen spasms on the floor, chest heaving through an obvious orgasm before his eyes open again, glazed and still exceedingly dark, and fit on Lu Han. Lu Han barely has a moment before Chen is once more surging upwards and grabbing at him, ripping his shirt off up his chest and shoving him to the floor, body whipping as he shoves Lu Han down and bites into his chest. 

“Chen!” Lu Han says, feeling slightly frantic over the heat spreading over his body and his body’s reaction to the obvious attention Chen wants to give it. 

“I want you,” Chen growls as he bites down on the spot just under Lu Han’s rib, making him arch with a gasp. “Fuck, Lu Han, I want- hng….” Chen dissolves into a moan, drawing back just long enough to rip his shirt over his head, giving Lu Han just enough time to push himself up enough to get his grounding. Chen, now shirtless and heaving, is just about to grab at Lu Han again when Lu Han, his own shirt halfway over his head due to Chen’s previous actions, lunges and pins him to the floor. Chen lets out a loud grunt, back hitting the floor hard before he seems to catch his breath and surges up at Lu Han, growling and spitting, hips bucking up at him as his hands scrabble, digging deep down Lu Han’s back. 

Lu Han grits his teeth and grabs Chen’s collar again, slipping his fingers under the material and tugging harshly down. Chen lets out a harsh low gasp, stilling under him and panting harshly, eyes flashing. “Chen,” Lu Han pants, as Chen shivers under him, nails dug deep into his shoulders. “Chen, calm down.”

Chen blinks and then whines, breathing accelerating until he’s almost hyperventilating. “I can’t,” he breathes into the air, chest heaving as he arches back, body hot. “Lu Han, I can’t. It’s hot, it’s too hot. I can’t- Lu Han, please, I need-“ he doesn’t finish, instead just whines, face creased as his pulse pounds against Lu Han’s fingers. 

Lu Han knows that technically, Chen is high as fuck, and he should probably feel guilty about being aroused beyond reason. But another part of him rationalized that Chen is technically asking for it. 

“Okay,” Lu Han says, voice low as his Chen heaves breaths at him and writhes upwards again. “Okay,” he repeats, before dropping down and pressing into Chen. Chen moans as the bare skin of their chests rubs together and he arches, hands dragging upwards to pull Lu Han’s shirt fully off hastily before his hands once more drag over Lu Han, scrabbling over skin. Lu Han pants, Chen’s body already unnaturally hot under him, into the side of Chen’s neck, pressing a fast kiss to the skin and feeling a moan vibrate under his lips. 

Chen suddenly bucks up again, nearly throwing Lu Han off and Lu Han instinctively pushes him down. “Chen, you have to-“

Chen just whines loudly, drowning out the rest of what Lu Han was going to say and Lu Han’s body runs hot. Throwing his hand out, he grabs for the nearest thing he can. It turns out be a bowtie, shoved under his desk from a formal event a few weeks back that he had worn out of necessity. 

Good enough. 

Grabbing Chen’s frantic arms, Lu Han drags them from his back, where they’ve probably left deep enough wounds to show, and pins them above Chen’s head. Chen growls, arching and trying to buck Lu Han off. Lu Han growls himself as he gets a firm hold on Chen’s wrists, pinning them together and pressing his mouth harshly against Chen’s. It’s fierce, a violent clash of teeth and tongues and hot instinctive movement, Chen fighting his way into Lu Han’s mouth as Lu Han manages to wrap the bowtie around his wrists. Chen grunts loudly as Lu Han finally lets go, satisfied for now with Chen’s bindings, and letting his hands smooth down Chen’s arms, shaking slightly under his fingers as Chen arches again. 

“What did you do?” Chen grates out, arching himself off the floor and trying to push himself up, hazed eyes flashing. “Lu Han,” he pants as Lu Han runs his hands down his torso and plucks at the waist of his jeans. Chen flings himself on the floor, trying to wrench his hands free and Lu Han pushes down with his chest, straddling him and locking him to the floor. “My hands,” Chen whines.

Lu Han kisses down Chen’s neck, earning him a high whine. “I’m sorry,” Lu Han breathes against the black collar, feeling Chen’s pulse, frantic against his lips. “I’ll take them off in a bit.”

Chen’s gasping breaths cut through the air, hot and loud on Lu Han’s ears as he pulls back Chen’s pants, Chen’s first orgasm sticking to the fabric and his thighs in a cooling mess. Chen is hard again, straining upwards and Lu Han feels his own ache as he fumbles with his own jeans, Chen’s dark eyes fixed on him. “Mine,” ghosts out over Chen’s lips again and Lu Han’s breathing speeds up. 

“Yours,” Lu Han says, voice low as he looks down at Chen, splayed on the floor and eyes blown, hands bound over his head and panting in desire. Chen licks his lips, eyes raking over Lu Han and darkening to full black, mouth open and red as he continues to pant, a flush spread over his cheeks. “All yours.” He leans down, bracing his hands on either side of Chen, and lowers his head until he’s barely a breath away, lips hovering just over his. Chen pants against his mouth, eyes flickering over his face before he leans up and seals their mouths. Lu Han kisses him carefully, pulling back if Chen tries to push too much, trying to keep Chen relatively calm.

Chen is already high on catnip. Lu Han doesn’t need him frantic again. At least not yet. 

When Chen moans, arching up yet again, Lu Han finally pulls away from the slow kisses and trails his hands and mouth down, kissing slowly along Chen’s jaw and sucking gently as his hands press over Chen’s bare chest, smoothing along the thin lines of his pectorals and thumbing gently at his nipples as Chen arches into the touch. A whine sounds from the back of his throat as Lu Han licks down his neck, finally stopping to run his tongue along the edge of Chen’s collar and Chen lets out a strangled cry, head throwing to the side as he bares the curve of his throat. 

Lu Han’s head feels heavy as he realizes his observations were very correct earlier that day about Chen’s sensitivity regarding that collar. 

Teeth coming to grip around the stiff material, Lu Han gently tugs, fingers rolling over Chen’s nipples and Chen lets out a strangled cry, jerking upwards, trying to find some relief from Lu Han’s assault. Lu Han gently releases the collar with his teeth, instead easing his tongue into the gap of skin under it and dragging it along his neck as Chen lets out soft pants. Chen’s chest shudders as he tries to breathe under Lu Han’s hands. Lu Han lets out a soft sigh, breath fanning over the hot skin of Chen’s neck as he gently kisses down to the hollow of his throat, hands dragging lower until they rest on Chen’s hips, rubbing circles over prominent hip bones. 

“Lu Han,” Chen gasps, head still thrown to the side and eyes closed. Lu Han slowly eases off of where he’s been holding Chen down and nudges a leg between Chen’s, pushing his thighs apart and Chen shifts, spreading his legs wide and making room for Lu Han to rest, head rolling back and eyes cracking open to look up at Lu Han. They’re dark but not as clouded and hazed as they had been. Instead, they’re just dark, almost black and for once the gold is missing. 

Lu Han swallows thickly, fingers pressing down the lines of Chen’s groin, dragging through the still damp remains of Chen’s first orgasm and hitching Chen’s breathing. Fingers slick, he drags one hand up Chen’s twitching arousal, sending a stuttered gasp out of Chen’s throat as his other hand travels down, playing briefly about his balls before circling his entrance. He leans down and presses a soft kiss to the side of Chen’s mouth before Chen shifts and captures his lips. He presses in a finger, tugging slowly on Chen’s cock as he does so and Chen makes a soft sound into his mouth, legs shifting as he knees bend, pressing into Lu Han’s waist as they draw up. Lu Han quickly works Chen open, swallowing the moans that pour from Chen’s throat as his bound hands come to rest around Lu Han’s neck. When he’s three fingers deep and Chen is almost shaking in his hands, Lu Han gently holds Chen, thumbs rubbing circles at his hips, before pushing in and sending a groan through them both. 

Chen doesn’t give Lu Han time to think of adjusting, instead hooking his legs around Lu Han swiftly and dragging him deeper, moaning wantonly. Lu Han gasps, swiftly drawing out before pushing back, grunting at the still tight heat of Chen’s body around him as Chen lets out sharp breaths into the air and rolls. Lu Han sets a hard steady pace, rocking into Chen with purposeful thrusts, hands firm on Chen’s hips as Chen tries to buck, drive him faster, and his bound hands struggle to pull Lu Han to him. 

“Harder,” drops from Chen’s lips in a broken whimper and Lu Han complies without realizing it, hips snapping as he grunts, pressure beating down his spine and building behind his eyes. Chen arches under him, rolling with his thrusts as they quicken and throws his head back, neck bared as his collar sits darkly on his skin. Without pausing, Lu Han leans down and fastens his teeth around it, tugging harshly and Chen positively yowls, the sound shooting straight down Lu Han’s spine and snapping his restraint, driving him harder, faster, deeper until he feels Chen suddenly spasm around him and collapses, hips stuttering, into blinding shaking euphoria. 

Time slowly picks up again over the ringing in Lu Han’s ears as he feels the sweat prickle on his skin and cum slick against his stomach. Chen is still breathing heavily, twitching under him, head thrown back and mouth gasping. Lu Han shifts, groaning as he pulls out and feels his own release drip as he slide free from Chen. Chen gives a small noise in the back of his throat as Lu Han moves off of him and sags, exhausted, half on top of him, still panting. 

Lu Han doesn’t move, instead absently just stroking over the skin of Chen’s waist as the other hums exhales into his forehead, until he feels Chen shift and remembers the bowtie. On still slightly numb limbs, he pushes himself up and takes Chen’s hands, gently untying him. Chen watches him with fogged eyes, no longer clouded with lust or catnip but just the haze of afterglow. Hands free from restraint, Chen tugs gently at Lu Han, pulling him down for a soft kiss before wrapping himself around him, pulling him close with a gentle contented hum. Lu Han grimaces at the mess on their stomachs and pulls back, earning him a frown from Chen as he shuffles to grab a few tissues from his desk, first swiftly cleaning himself before leaning over Chen and slowly mopping him up. 

Chen is frowning as Lu Han moves to throw away the tissue and Lu Han pauses. “What?”

“You-“ Chen stops himself, biting his lip. He takes a breath. “Did I do that?”

Lu Han blinks. “Do what?”

Chen’s hand raises to slowly trace over Lu Han’s chest, grazing against the angry deep welts in the skin from when Chen had clawed at him, still high as fuck on catnip. Chen swallows, eyes tracing the gouges, some bleeding slightly. “That,” he finally says, eyes flickering back up to Lu Han. 

Lu Han closes a hand over Chen’s, smiling down at him. “It doesn’t matter,” he says, dragging Chen’s hand from himself and squeezing slightly. “It doesn’t hurt.”

It does, actually, quite a lot. Especially when Lu Han finally takes a shower an hour later after lying on the floor reassuring Chen he wasn’t going to hit him like Sehun hits Junmyeon for scratching him up like he’d just been in a fight with a porcupine and lost miserably. He is able to get a good look finally in the mirror and stares because his back is a mess of red lines and welts, many of them bleeding slightly and he winces in the shower as soap stings and the water burns. At dinner, which Junmyeon ends up cooking and oddly serving enough for Lu Han and Chen as well as Sehun and himself, Sehun keeps laughing about Chen’s apparent act with the catnip and Junmyeon shoots suspicious looks between Lu Han and ‘Jongdae.’ 

Chen, apparently tired of Sehun’s recounting of the catnip adventure, finally ends up smacking him with his spoon and Sehun yelps as Lu Han snorts into his rice. Chen whaps Sehun a few more times appearingly out of amusement before turning back to his food casually as Sehun looks to Lu Han with a lost expression. Lu Han just shrugs and smiles, glancing over at Chen as his lover nudges him with his knee under the table. Lu Han reaches over and takes Chen’s free hand, easily dragging it under the safety of the table where he laces their fingers together. 

Chen smiles faintly as he takes a clumsy bite of rice, spoon sticking childishly out of his mouth and Junmyeon narrows his eyes. Lu Han ignores him, instead gently rubbing the pad of his thumb over the back of Chen’s hand. 

Lu Han doesn’t take off the dark tee he put on after his shower until he’s turned off the lights, avoiding the accusing eyes of Chen as he drags him into his arms to collapse into the pile of unmade blankets on his bed. Chen gives an annoyed huff as Lu Han gently spoons him against his chest, pressing a soft kiss into the back of his head as he snuggles them both into the sheets. 

Lu Han wakes up first the next morning, dragging himself from Chen carefully and dressing quickly, putting on a light long sleeve shirt to cover up the angry marks littering his arms. Chen frowns when he finally wakes and sees Lu Han mostly dressed save for proper pants. Junmyeon watches them carefully as Lu Han lazily fixes breakfast, occasionally asking Chen random questions that Chen blinks at before trying to answer. Lu Han nearly jumps in a few times when Junmyeon fires things like “how many siblings do you have?” and “what do your parents do?” but ends up just letting Chen go when Chen responds easily with “I have five,” and “They work on a farm, but I haven’t seen them since I was really young.”

Junmyeon seems relatively confused and Lu Han just sighs, figuring that as the majority of Chen’s answers could be interpreted as a strange human or a cat, he may as well just let it go. 

Work is normal, with Chen wandering around as per usual, drilling Jongin for random information about being human before settling among books and attempting to educate himself. They go home later than usual and walk into sound. Lu Han barely has a moment to register what is happening until there is a loud bark and Chanyeol, Yifan’s lab, comes bounding towards the door. Chen lets out an almighty shriek, practically climbing Lu Han to get away from the dog and Lu Han ends up being shoved into the wall, aggravating the injuries from the previous night and letting out a loud yelp. 

Chanyeol, it seems, is just as overly friendly as he ever is as he shoves his nose into Lu Han’s crotch enthusiastically in greeting and Lu Han tries to bat him away from jumping up and trying to lick his face. “Yifan!” Lu Han yells as Chen hyperventilates, half climbed up his back and making horrified yelping sounds. “Yifan, for the love of fuck, please come get Chanyeol.”

Yifan blunders into the front hall a moment later, an apologetic look on his usually stern face as he takes in the image of Chen in a panic attack on Lu Han, who is trying to fend off an overly enthusiastically licking Chanyeol. “Oh wow, sorry,” Yifan says. As soon as Yifan speaks, Chanyeol is jerking around, tail whacking Lu Han’s legs and tongue hanging out of his mouth lazily. “Chanyeol, come.” Instantly Chanyeol is bounding from Lu Han and jumping onto Yifan. 

Chanyeol lets out a delighted bark. 

Chen lets out a terrified whimper. 

Yifan flashes a smile that says ‘woops’ before leading Chanyeol by the collar back into the main apartment. Lu Han waits for a few moments after Chanyeol and Yifan have left before turning to try to pry Chen off of himself. 

“Dog,” Chen says, voice shaking horribly along with the rest of him. “Dog. Dog. Dog dog dog. Why is there a dog in our house? Why is there a dog, Lu Han? Why is a dog? Dog.” He fixes wide fearful eyes on Lu Han, breaths short. 

Setting his mouth in a line, Lu Han finally manages to get Chen to let go of where he’s digging his hands into Lu Han’s back painfully. “It’s okay,” Lu Han tries to reassure Chen, wrapping a hand around the back of his neck and lightly squeezing with a small smile. “You're much bigger now than any dog. Besides, Chanyeol is just being friendly.”

“Dog,” Chen spits out, eyes darting around as he shakes slightly. “Lu Han, dog. Lu Han-“ Chen makes as if he’s about two seconds from wrenching open the door and running for his life. 

“Chen, we have to stay,” Lu Han says, swallowing around the lump in his throat. Chen shakes his head vigorously. Lu Han quickly laces his fingers with Chen, holding him firmly and Chen stills momentarily, eyes slipping closed as he breathes heavily. “I’ll make sure you’re safe.”

Chen takes a few more breaths before opening his eyes, looking hard at Lu Han. “I’m not a cat anymore,” he says and Lu Han feels his chest constrict at the statement. 

“No,” Lu Han says, feeling a smile tug at his lips. “You’re not.” He reaches up, releasing Chen’s neck to brush away Chen’s hair from his face, smoothing fingers to cup around his cheek. Chen nods slowly before he allows Lu Han to pull him from the hall to the living room. 

Chen makes it three steps into the living room before finally seizing up, entire form rigid as he looks at Chanyeol, panting happily on the floor by Yifan’s feet as he lounges in the armchair. Yifan is smiling at something Yixing is telling Junmyeon and Sehun while he has his arm draped over an unfamiliar man. Lu Han carefully puts his hands around Chen’s hips, gently steering him to take horribly jerking steps until he’s finally near the couch. Lu Han smiles as pleasantly as he can. 

“There you are!” Yixing says, noticing him first and looking up with a brilliant smile. The man next to him looks up curiously before smiling at him. There’s something oddly familiar about him. “We were beginning to wonder if we’d ever see you again.”

“You saw me last week,” Lu Han says, rubbing a thumb gently over Chen’s waist, trying to keep him from bolting as he seems to have forgotten how to breathe. 

“Yeah, well, I hardly think dropping by your work briefly counts as catching up,” Yixing says, settling back a bit and pressing more into his stranger. He glances over, dimple poking his face. “This is Baekhyun, by the way. You met once before but you were mostly drunk out of your mind.”

Right. Lu Han’s mind vaguely drags up the dark image from the club two weeks ago where Yixing had slouched into someone who looked like a smoked up version of the man currently, mumbling about something to do with ‘spinach casserole.’ That makes sense.

“Sup,” Lu Han says, giving a nod in Baekhyun’s direction. 

“Howdy,” Baekhyun says, voice sardonic though he smiles anyway. Yixing looks positively high on amusement. 

Chanyeol gives a curious bark and Chen stiffens against Lu Han again. Lu Han looks over at Yifan. “Why did you bring Chanyeol?” he asks, his own pulse racing as he tries to think how many ways Chen may freak out in the next five minutes. 

“Well, since someone lost my cat,” Junmyeon says, scowling at Lu Han before his eyes flicker to Chen. “I figured it would be okay for Chanyeol to come over with him.”

“Did you really?” Lu Han asks, voice tight as he walks into the living room, trying to pull Chen with him. Chen makes it as far as the arm of the sofa before refusing to move, eyes fixed on Chanyeol, who is wagging his tail, watching Chen in fascination. Lu Han sits himself down on the sofa, keeping his hand laced with Chen’s. “Well, that was lovely of you. Sehun, do you like dogs?”

Sehun, who has been eyeing Chanyeol with a mixture between caution and a potential desire to initiate contact, looks up, tongue sticking between his lips. “They’re fine,” he says, flashing a weak looking smile before looking back down at Chanyeol, who has begun to thump his tail on the floor happily. “Jongdae, do you like dogs?” 

The whole group turns to Chen, who seems to be fixated on Chanyeol, watching the dog as if it may explode, and Lu Han, realizing a second late, squeezes his hand. Chen jerks violently before finally looking at Sehun. “No,” he says, voice extremely clipped as he looks at the other. Yifan’s face falls and Yixing’s smile turns. “I’m not a huge fan of dogs, to be honest.” He swallows heavily before looking back at Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol pants and makes a weird dog-groaning sound, rolling over the floor onto his back and flashing his belly, looking utterly delighted to be alive. 

“Chanyeol’s a really nice dog,” Yifan says, reaching down and scratching Chanyeol’s stomach. Chanyeol lets out his weird dog-groan and lolls his head to the side, looking up at Yifan in adoration, tongue practically lying on the floor. “He would never hurt you, I swear.”

“I’ve never had good luck with dogs,” Chen says, and his voice sounds so strained, Lu Han nearly pulls him into his lap. 

“Chanyeol is too dumb to hurt you,” Yixing says, looking down at Chanyeol who lets out a muffled ‘woof’ and rolls on the floor enthusiastically. Yifan gets a ridiculous grin on his face, reaching out both hands to wrestle slightly with Chanyeol and Chanyeol seems to be utterly delighted at being manhandled by his master. Chen’s hand grips Lu Han’s so tightly Lu Han fights down a wince. 

“Chanyeol’s not dumb,” Yifan says, grinning stupidly down at his dog as Chanyeol rolls onto his front and whips around to try to jump into Yifan’s lap, giving a delighted bark. Chen jerks and Lu Han tugs him, keeping him in place. Chen breathes loudly through his nose. Baekhyun gives him a raised look. “He’s the best dog in the world.” Chanyeol shows his appreciation by jumping up to try to lick Yifan’s face. Yifan laughs and shoves Chanyeol down. 

“He eats tennis balls,” Junmyeon points out, watching Yifan and his dog with a slightly patronizing expression. 

“And squirrels,” Yixing adds, watching as Chanyeol flumps against Yifan’s legs and rolls his head back to look up at Yifan in stupid fascination. 

“He’s just enthusiastic,” Yifan says, looking up with a frown as he scratches behind Chanyeol’s ears. Chanyeol lolls his head to stare fixedly at Chen. “You don’t hear me insulting your pets.”

“That’s because Lightsaber is the Einstein of cats,” Yixing says. “He can open doors and flushes toilets.”

“Well, good for you. You have a super cat,” Yifan drawls, as Baekhyun grins widely and Yixing looks smug. “Let me know when he saves the world or rescues himself from a tree.”

“Are they seriously arguing about their pets?” Sehun asks, looking between Lu Han and Junmyeon.

“They could be arguing about penis size,” Lu Han says, shrugging and Sehun blanches as Junmyeon looks about five seconds from slapping himself in the face. 

“Can they argue about penis size?” Baekhyun asks, looking vaguely interested as he’s nestled into Yixing’s side, watching as Yixing and Yifan dissolve into some sort of weird bitching war about the superiorities of cats and dogs. 

“They already have,” Lu Han says and Junmyeon does slap his hand over his face. Lu Han turns to Baekhyun, smiling widely. “I won.” Baekhyun looks extremely surprised. “Why are you two here again?” Lu Han asks, managing to draw Yixing’s attention from listing the superior qualities of cats at Yifan as Yifan frowns and lathers Chanyeol with attention. Chanyeol has been staring at Chen fixedly for the entire argument. 

“We missed you,” Yixing says, looking to Lu Han as if he hadn’t just spent the last few minutes arguing with Yifan. “Plus, we never really got to meet Jongdae.” He flashes a friendly smile at Chen, who starts and looks to him. “I, for one, want to actually meet the man who’s managed to tame Lu Han.”

Junmyeon grumbles something under his breath and Sehun smacks him lightly in the shoulder. Yixing looks at them with a raised eyebrow. “You can’t tame Lu Han,” Yifan says, throwing a grin over at him. “He’s a species unto himself.”

“Crazy frog,” Yixing says, glancing at Lu Han sideways. 

“Hey, only Tao is allowed to call me that,” Lu Han says, stretching out a leg to shove Yixing in the knee across the coffee table. Yixing grins in amusement. 

Lu Han looks up at Chen. Chen is finally not looking at Chanyeol, instead looking at Yixing with an impassive look on his face, before he frowns. “You’re Lu Han’s friends,” he says, eyes flickering between Yifan and Yixing. 

“Well, we’d like to call ourselves that,” Yifan says as Chanyeol dog-groans again and snuffs, licking his face before resuming his usual panting. 

Chen doesn't really answer, just shifts so he’s sitting on the arm rest, face set, and stance rigid as he shoves his hand down the back of Lu Han’s shirt in a ridiculously possessive manner. Yifan’s eyebrows fly up his face at the gesture. Chen looks at him sternly. Lu Han tries not to wince as Chen’s hand rests possessively over still healing scratches.

Lu Han, throat dry as Chen’s hand presses hot into the skin between his shoulders, grins at the room. “Who wants snacks?” he asks, trying to grin. 

Chanyeol, apparently, wants snacks, as he gives a sudden excited bark and jumps up from the floor. Immediately Chen is whipping back, nearly falling off the couch as he scrambles away and Lu Han yelps as his hand wrenches from his shirt, nails digging over already abused skin. Sehun gives a small yell as Chanyeol leaps up, bounding over to Chen who seems to be falling over himself as he darts around behind the couch before flinging himself over the back and into Lu Han and Junmyeon’s laps with a panicked sound. 

“Yifan!” Lu Han yelps as Chen slams into him, already wriggling to try to bolt from the couch and Lu Han moves to wrap his hand around him, Junmyeon giving out an indignant pained cry beside him. Yifan is already halfway across the living room, trying to grab Chanyeol as the lab attempts to bound over the couch and assault Chen with his dog-love. 

“Chanyeol! No! Down!” Yifan says, tripping over himself as he tries to control his overexcited Labrador. Chanyeol just barks happily as he jumps onto a shrieking Chen and attempts to lick his face. Chen nearly throws himself to the floor as he tries to throw Chanyeol off of himself and manages to almost kick Sehun in the face. 

“Lu Han!” Junmyeon yells as Yifan finally manages to grab Chanyeol by the collar and haul him off. Chanyeol lets out another bark as Chen finally wrenches himself free and hurls himself from the couch, bolting from the living room and actually slamming into a wall before tumbling into the bathroom and slamming the door closed. 

The living room is silent, aside from Chanyeol’s panting, everyone staring at the bathroom door in shock before turning to Lu Han. Lu Han swallows, wetting dry lips. “He had a really bad experience with dogs,” Lu Han says, hoping that will satisfy the group at large. 

“He just elbowed me in the face,” Junmyeon says, frowning as he holds his nose. “How bad of an experience was it?”

Lu Han clicks his teeth together for a second. “I’m pretty sure he was attacked badly when he was younger,” Lu Han improvises and Sehun and Yifan both look astonished. Junmyeon’s eyes simply widen marginally and Yixing looks aghast. Baekhyun is watching the door, looking overly concerned. 

“Wow, I didn’t know,” Yifan says, keeping an even firmer grip on Chanyeol’s collar as the lab whines and tries to pull away. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay,” Lu Han says, pushing himself up and wincing as he feels the sting in his back flare. Yixing is watching him carefully. “I’ll just go check on him or something.”

“Maybe you should just let him calm down on his own,” Baekhyun suggests, still looking concernedly at the door. 

“No, it’s better if I check on him,” Lu Han says, walking down the hall to the bathroom. 

“Lu Han-“ Yixing starts to say but Lu Han cuts him off with a wave over his shoulder. Lu Han has barely had a chance to knock before the door is wrenched open, a hand is fisted in his shirt, and he’s dragged into the bathroom, nearly careening into the sink as Chen collapses into him, shaking terribly. Lu Han blinks, getting his balance back, before he wraps his arms around Chen and pulls him close. Chen shakes, hands gripped hard in the fabric of Lu Han’s shirt as he tucks his head under Lu Han’s chin. 

Gently, Lu Han cards his fingers through his hair, pressing a soft kiss to the side of Chen’s face as he holds him securely, trying to calm the tremors with a rhythmically rubbing hand down Chen’s back. “It’s okay,” he says, voice low into Chen’s ear, feeling Chen shiver slightly against him. “Chanyeol wasn’t trying to hurt you. You’re okay.”

“Dog,” Chen gasps, voice muffled in Lu Han’s neck. “Dog. There was a dog, Lu Han.”

“I know,” Lu Han says, lips still pressed to Chen’s skin and fingers slipping through his hair. “But he didn’t hurt you. You’re okay. He wasn’t trying to attack you. He would never attack you.”

Chen snorts into his neck. “You don’t know that,” Chen says, shivers lessening as he settles into Lu Han’s arms. 

“I do know that,” Lu Han says, smiling as Chen pulls back slightly. “Chanyeol is probably the dumbest dog alive.”

Chen frowns. “You said he eats squirrels.”

Lu Han huffs a laugh. “Yeah, well, I’ve seen the way you eye chipmunks.” Chen’s mouth twitches in a smile, Lu Han’s hand stilling in his hair as he finally seems to stop shaking. “You’ll be okay?” he asks, hand at Chen’s back dragging to rest gently at his hip, holding him steady. 

“Will Chanyeol try to jump on me again?” Chen asks, voice weaker than Lu Han is used to hearing it. 

“If he does, just pretend to throw something,” Lu Han says, smiling reassuringly down at Chen, who raises an eyebrow. “Trust me, he’ll chase it.” Chen smiles faintly and Lu Han leans forwards, pressing his mouth to Chen’s forehead gently as he shifts his hand to run through Chen’s hair again. Chen’s fingers tighten slightly in the fabric of his shirt, pulling him forward. They stand like that, quiet and close, Chen pulled into Lu Han as Lu Han slowly threads his fingers through his hair.

After a while, Chen finally takes a breath, fingers pushing against Lu Han’s chest as he draws back, blinking open his eyes and looking up at Lu Han. “Thanks,” he says, voice soft.

Lu Han feels his smile before he makes it. “I wasn’t about to let you have a panic attack without me,” he says, thumb rubbing at the base of Chen’s head as it rests at the nape of his neck. “Where’s the fun in that?” Chen huffs a small laugh before leaning forward and kissing Lu Han, small and innocent but sending Lu Han’s heart racing in his chest. Chen pulls away after a moment and Lu Han blinks, looking down at the other. Chen’s eyes are entirely dark brown. “Are you okay?”

Chen shakes his head, frowning as he seems focused on a point around Lu Han’s nose. “My chest feels weird,” Chen says, fingers once more twining in Lu Han’s shirt as Lu Han’s heart pounds. He takes a swift breath before exhaling. “It hurts. But not in a bad way.” 

Lu Han blinks. “From being scared?”

“No.” Chen takes a short breath before looking up into Lu Han’s eyes. “No, I’m not.” Lu Han raises his eyes and Chen smiles, kissing him swiftly again. “I’m okay now.”

“Still have the recovery of a cat,” Lu Han murmurs against Chen’s mouth, grinning as he leans in for another kiss, pulling Chen to him and Chen doesn't resist, instead releasing Lu Han’s shirt to splay his hands over his chest instead. 

“I’m not a cat, though,” Chen says, tilting his head slightly as he speaks between kisses. “I’m human now.”

“Thank God,” Lu Han says before gently taking Chen’s lower lips between his teeth, biting down briefly before releasing it. “I don't think I could kiss you like this if you were a cat.”

“Well, then I’m glad I’m human,” Chen murmurs before pressing into Lu Han, mouth open and drawing a groan, Lu Han’s hand shifting Chen closer. Chen slides his hands back as he licks into Lu Han’s mouth, fingers winding into his hair, pulling him down into the kiss. 

From the other side of the door, Chanyeol barks. 

Chen stills and Lu Han stops, eyes cracking open, preparing to pull back entirely. Chen keeps him in place, fingers steady in his hair and he presses up, giving a final glide of his tongue to Lu Han’s before pulling back with a sigh. He blinks open his eyes. 

There is no gold. 

“He’s just a dog,” Chen says, eyes steady as they look at Lu Han. 

Lu Han licks his lips, fingers twitching as Chen’s flex and drag down his shoulders. “You don’t have to go out there.”

Chen looks at him, eyes unblinking. “Yes, I do.” He looks down, fingers gently stroking at Lu Han’s collarbones. “But I kind of need you to come with me.”

Lu Han laughs, drawing from Chen and grabbing his hands, lacing their fingers together. “Like I’d let you out there without me,” he says, grinning at Chen who smiles warmly back. “I’m pretty sure most of Yixing and Yifan being here is for them to initiate ‘male bonding’ so they can deem you safe.”

“Safe for you?” Chen asks, frowning as Lu Han pulls him to leave the bathroom. 

“Safe for you,” Lu Han corrects with a smile. 

“They can’t have you,” Chen says with a sudden frown, fingers tightening around Lu Han’s.

Lu Han just laughs. “They won’t try to take me from you,” Lu Han says, opening the door and pulling Chen back into the rest of the apartment, keeping one of their hands laced firmly together. 

“They’re returned from panic attacks,” Junmyeon says, craning his neck over the sofa to look as Lu Han and Chen walk back into the room.

“My bet was still on make outs,” Baekhyun says, grinning from the love seat. 

“Probably both,” Sehun says, and Baekhyun gives him a conceding nod.

“Sehun wins this round,” Lu Han says with a smile and Sehun actually smiles at him as Baekhyun smirks. 

“I’m really sorry,” Yifan says, walking from where here he’d been closing the door to Junmyeon’s room and looking worried. “I didn’t know Jongdae was so-“

“It’s fine,” Chen says, cutting Yifan off and smiling at him. Yifan looks slightly shocked. So does Yixing as he comes in from the kitchen, clutching two waters and a bag of chips. “I was just caught off guard.” Yifan blinks and Yixing frowns slightly. 

“Where is Chanyeol?” Lu Han asks, noticing the absence of the excited Labrador. 

“I told Yifan to lock him in my room until you got your ‘pet’ calmed down,” Junmyeon says from his seat under Sehun’s arm. 

“How kind of you,” Lu Han says, throwing a sappy look at Junmyeon as the other frowns at Chen. “Really, I’m so lucky to have such an amazing caring friend in my life who is so concerned at the welfare of my boyfriend.”

Chen tilts his head to the side, looking confused and Lu Han flashes his a quick smile, accompanied by a hand squeeze, and praying Chen will not choose now to learn new vocabulary. 

“You can let him out,” Chen says, seeming to understand Lu Han will explain later and he looks to Yifan. “Just-“ He bites his lip. “Keep him by you, please.”

“Of course,” Yifan says, nodding to Chen emphatically before turning to Junmyeon’s room. 

Yixing is still watching them, waters held in his hand. Lu Han gives him a quizzical look and Yixing barely blinks before looking to Chen. “Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

Chen smiles and it’s tight around the edges, his hand digging into Lu Han’s. “Yes,” he says, smiling stretching. Lu Han clenches his hand back and Chen starts, turning to him with a strong expression. Lu Han raises his eyebrows as Yixing walks back into the living room. Baekhyun is now on the floor, petting Chanyeol with a smile as Yifan grins at his dog. Chanyeol is panting contentedly from the floor as he looks around, clearly just glad to be a part of things. 

Lu Han flops down on the vacated love seat, Yixing dropping down beside him. Chen watches for a moment, frowning at the two friends as Lu Han watches him, shifing to make room on his other side. Yixing is watching Chen curiously, setting the waters and chips on the coffee table as Baekhyun makes silly cooing sounds at Chanyeol and Chanyeol whines in his throat.

“Is there a problem?” Yixing asks, watching as Chen shifts and looks perturbed. 

“No,” says Chen, making a small huffing sound before turning and flopping down into Lu Han’s lap harshly, dragging a surprised grunt from him before he wiggles himself, seemingly trying to make himself comfortable and instead slipping off of Lu Han’s lap into Yixing. Yixing stares at him, shock on his face as Chen turns to him and stares imperiously. “Do you mind?”

“Excuse me?” Yixing says as Lu Han tries to pull Chen off from being the pest he is and into a proper seat beside him. 

“I’m trying to sit next to my mate,” Chen says as if this is the most obvious thing ever and Yixing’s entire face reflects his mind being blown out of his skull. Chen just makes a small huffing sound before shifting to further wedge himself between Lu Han and Yixing. 

“Would you-“ Lu Han rasps out as Chen shoves a hip painfully into his side, wiggling enthusiastically as he separates the two on either side of him. 

“I’m just sitting down,” Chen says, turning to Lu Han and flashing a brilliant smile, before leaning into his side, shoving Yixing into the armrest. 

“You’re such a good doggy, yeah~” Baekhyun is cooing from the floor, hands wagging Chanyeol’s ears in attention as Sehun watches Lu Han wrestle with Chen and Junmyeon just looks overly annoyed. 

"Yixing," says Yifan, looking up at the other, currently being squashed into the couch as Chen wedges himself between him and Lu Han. "I think your boyfriend likes my dog more than you."

“You have the dumbest dog in the history of dumb dogs,” Lu Han scoffs out, finally shifting enough on the cramped love seat to allow Chen to sit, still relatively squashed, between himself and Yixing, who looks rather displeased to be melded with the armrest. 

“Hey now,” says Yifan, hand coming down to pet Chanyeol’s head, as Baekhyun laughs and scoots back, instead resting against Yixing’s legs, still smiling. “You don't hear me making fun of your pets.”

Chanyeol snorts loudly. So does Lu Han. “That’s because my pet is the most amazing pet ever.”

“Well, you call your boyfriend you’re ‘pet’ so I hardly think that counts,” Junmyeon says, watching Lu Han and Chen from the couch as Sehun chews his lips, watching Chanyeol roll his head back to look up at Yifan. Chen, now pleased with his position on the couch wedged into Lu Han’s side, slumps into Lu Han, laying a head on his shoulder and a small sigh, hand coming to rest on his knee. To some people this may seem affectionate. To Lu Han, who knows better, it’s obscenely possessive. 

And possibly runs a slight thrill up his back.

“Besides,” Yifan continues, glossing over the fact that Chen is basically marking territory and looking smug as shit about it. Chanyeol rolls over and sits up slightly, snuffling around on the floor. “Chanyeol isn’t dumb. He’s brilliant. And can probably understand you and is plotting your demise.”

Lu Han looks down at Chanyeol, who is currently very involved with licking his junk, before glancing back at up Yifan. “Oh yeah,” says Lu Han, smirking at Yifan. “I’m sure my demise is the first thing on his mind.”

Yifan glances down at Chanyeol before looking back up at Lu Han with a shrug. “He’s a very crafty dog.”

“He’s a very dumb dog,” Lu Han retorts and Yifan’s face creases in annoyance. 

“Everyone knows dogs are dumb,” Chen adds, watching as Chanyeol ensures his genitals are squeaky clean with his tongue. He looks up at Yifan with an extremely superior look. “It’s the ultimate true stereotype.”

“Oh, not you too,” Yifan says, face dropping as he looks at Chen. Yixing gives Chen an appraising look, as if his disregard of dogs has suddenly elevated his status. 

“Though some dogs can be smart,” Chen says, shifting on the couch as the room looks at him. Yifan looks hopeful. “I think Chanyeol is just special though,” he finishes and Yifan’s face drops again. Chen looks down at Chanyeol, who rolls on the ground between Yifan’s legs and makes his weird dog-groaning sound. “Yeah, he’s just special.”

“Honestly!” Yifan huffs, looking at Chen as Chanyeol snuffs enthusiastically at everyone and beats his tail on the floor. 

“Let it go, man,” Baekhyun says, watching the exchange from the floor with an amused expression. 

Yifan looks at him briefly before looking up at Yixing. Yixing shrugs at Yifan’s lost defeated face. “Just let it go,” Yixing says, and Baekhyun leans into his legs a bit more, dropping his head to a knee. Yifan gives another small huff before slumping back into his chair, finally admitting defeat as Chanyeol turns to him, placing a paw on his knee and looking up expectantly, tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth. Yifan immediately pets him on the head. 

Chanyeol beams. 

“You have a dog that runs into things when it tries to walk in a straight line,” Lu Han says, draping his arm over Chen as the other seems to be intent on nearly crawling onto his chest, fingers kneading slowly at his knee, drifting slowly up his thigh. “Of course we’re going to make fun of you.”

Yifan frowns at him, hand still scratching absently behind Chanyeol’s ears as his dog drools onto his jeans. “Chnayeol doesn’t do it on purpose,” Yifan defends, looking down at his dog, who thumps his tail in response. Yifan’s frown splits into a stupid grin that reflects his dog’s expression. 

“Exactly,” says Lu Han and Chen turns to smile up at him in amusement as Yifan huffs. Lu Han’s hand drifts trace over his shoulder until it rests at the nape of Chen’s neck, gently rubbing with his fingers and occasionally brushing over Chen’s collar. Chen shivers into him.

”If it helps, Yifan,” Baekhyun says, shifting on the floor and leaning more into Yixing’s legs as the other seems to be debating keeping his place on the couch or joining his boyfriend on the floor. “I think Chanyeol is a very nice dog.”

Yifan looks like Baekhyun may have just given him the most tender heart-felt hug he’s ever received in his life. “Thanks, Baekhyun,” he says, and grins sweetly down at him. Yixing raises his eyebrows.

Baekhyun smiles back, teeth brilliant before he looks back down at Chanyeol, who is now thumping both his tail and left leg against the floor in joy at being bathed in Yifan’s attention. “Though he does look dumb as bricks.”

Baekhyun may as well have hit Yifan in the face with a brick for how horribly crushed his face becomes. “There’s no winning with any of you, is there?” Yifan says, looking around the room at large.

“I gave up,” Sehun says, shrugging at Yifan with a bored expression. Or perhaps an interested expression. Lu Han is pretty sure his face is just mostly stuck on ‘handsomely doesn’t give a shit’. “I’m pretty sure they’re all just assholes.”

Yifan gives a sort of satisfied and determined nod. “Right,” he says, shifting so he’s leaning away from the love seat housing Yixing and the Lu Han-Chen mashed couple. “I’m going to hang out with Sehun,” he says, eyes flashing as he looks between his supposed best friends. “He, at least, is nice to me.” He turns, half leaning out of the armchair, towards Sehun, who maybe looks amused, and Junmyeon, who looks possibly polite and miffed. “Good job Junmyeon for picking a nice boyfriend.”

Junmyeon grins broadly, smirk edging his smile as Sehun’s face creases slightly. “Excuse you, I chose Junmyeon,” Sehun informs the room at large, sitting up a bit as Junmyeon’s smile turns into a full out smirk. 

“You keep telling yourself that,” Junmyeon says, patting Sehun’s knee and smiling up at him as Sehun frowns, looking slightly huffy. 

“Yifan, you’re trying to defend a dog in a room of cat people,” Baekhyun says as Yixing finally relinquishes his spot on the love seat to sit on the floor with Baekhyun, putting an arm around him. Chen immediately seizes the opportunity to spread out on the love seat and, incidentally, Lu Han. Junmyeon watches them with a small frown. “You can’t win,” Baekhyun finishes with a sympathetic smile. 

“But you like dogs,” Yifansays, frowning slightly at Baekhyun.

Baekhyun shrugs. “If it’s cute, I like it,” he says easily. “Cats, dogs, rabbits, whatever. It’s good by me.”

“Where do I fit into this category?” Yixing asks, nudging Baekhyun slightly with a small smile pressing into his cheeks.

“You don’t,” Baekhyun says, turning to look at Yixing, who raises an eyebrow. “You fit into the ‘handsome people’ category. It’s far superior and has a lot more perks.” He raises his eyebrows suggestively and Yixing grins. 

“Hey, no excessive PDA in public areas,” Lu Han says, kicking Yixing lightly with his foot, the angle made awkward as he’s still positioned oddly from when Chen decided to pin him to a loveseat. 

Yixing glances up at him with a raised look. “What’s your excuse then?” 

“I live here,” Lu Han says, smiling brightly at Yixing as Chen settles further into him. 

“Jongdae doesn’t,” Baekhyun says, giving the two on the couch a sly look.

“He may as well,” Sehun grumbles, and Yifan raises his eyebrows. 

“Seriously?”

“Lu, are you actually letting people on your bed aside from yourself?” Yixing asks, turning sharply to Lu Han and looking a mix between surprised and very scrutinizing. 

Lu Han shrugs. “He just kept crawling back every time I pushed him off,” Lu Han says nonchalantly as Sehun’s eyes widen from across the coffee table. “I eventually gave up.”

“Is this a big thing?” Sehun asks, looking between the people in the living room in obvious confusion. 

“Lu Han never lets people on his bed,” Junmyeon explains patiently to his boyfriend, eyes somewhere around Sehun’s impressive collarbones. 

“Really?” Sehun looks extremely surprised. 

“So,” Baekhyun says, turning and leaning back into the loveseat as he looks up at Lu Han. “If I were to go right now and try to sit on your bed-“

“I would cut off your butt,” Lu Han finishes for him easily and Baekhyun pauses for a moment before pressing his lips together, nodding. 

“Fair enough,” Baekhyun says and Yixing smirks at his boyfriend in amusement. Junmyeon is watching Lu Han with a frown from across the living room. Lu Han ignores him. 

Finally, around ten and after a few bowls of food that Yixing magically manages to create with the hodge-podge of random food stocked in the refrigerator, Yifan, Yixing and Baekhyun finally think that they should leave. Lu Han is pretty sure that they would have stayed longer if Sehun and Junmyeon hadn’t started arguing over who would do the dishes and Sehun had whacked Junmyeon in the shoulder before stalking to the bedroom. 

Lu Han sees his friends to the door, Chen staying in the living room and curled on the sofa, choosing not to see Chanyeol more than necessary. 

“Sorry,” Yifan says, flashing Lu Han a small sort of apologetic grin. “About Chanyeol, I really-“

“It’s fine,” Lu Han says, waving a hand before patting Yifan awkwardly. “Really, he’ll be okay.” Yifan seems reassured by this, giving Lu Han a genuine grin before walking to the elevator with Chanyeol, the lab bounding happily after him. 

“Speaking of Jongdae,” Yixing says, still just outside the door. Baekhyun is a few steps away, watching Yixing with a kind patient expression on his face. 

“What about him?” Lu Han asks, looking at his long time friend. 

Yixing watches Lu Han in the way that Lu Han has always found slightly disconcerting. The way that says Yixing is thinking of a lot of things that Lu Han probably wont know about because they’ll get lost on the way out of his mouth but which always mean that Yixing is noticing more than people give him credit for. “Well, it’s just-“ Yixing frowns slightly. “You’ve only known him for, what, two weeks?”

“Three,” Lu Han says, frowning slightly at Yixing. 

“Right,” Yixing says, swallowing. “I’m sorry, Lu, but it’s just weird. You only knowing this guy for three weeks and he’s sleeping with you and in your bed and-“

“You make this sounds like it’s a bad thing,” Lu Han says, looking at Yixing closely. Baekhyun has a politely concerned look on his face as he watches them. 

“It’s not bad,” Yixing corrects swiftly, looking up at Lu Han. “It’s that you never open up like this, and never this fast, and it’s just catching Yifan and me a little off guard. Especially with how, um-“

“How what?” Lu Han presses, leaning against the doorframe and folding his arms over his chest.

“Jongdae’s kind of strange,” Yixing says, leveling Lu Han with a look.

Lu Han snorts. “And I’m not?”

“That’s not the point,” Yixing says, frowning. 

“Then what is the point?” Lu Han asks, chest fluttering oddly. 

“The point is you’re acting like you’re in love with this guy and I just don’t want to see you get hurt,” Yixing finally says and sighs, running a hand through his hair. Lu Han stares at him, feeling slightly numb. 

“I won’t get hurt,” Lu Han says, frowning slightly as he watches Yixing sigh at him. “I don’t get hurt.”

“But you do,” Yixing says and levels Lu Han with a loaded look. It speaks of all the times Lu Han had shown up in the past, shoved a bottle of soju at Yixing, and not spoken until they’d finished three, at which point he was usually upside down on the sofa and babbling about how horrible commitment is while Yixing watched his voice crack in his throat and said nothing of it. “Look, I just want you to think about this before you go and let yourself fall in love with this guy.”

Lu Han frowns. “What’s so bad about me being in love with him?” he asks, feeling a streak of defiance rush up his chest. 

“Lu Han, you barely know him,” Yixing frowns at him.

“So?”

“So, you can’t fall in love with someone after knowing them barely three weeks,” Yixing says, laughing slightly. 

Lu Han doesn’t laugh. “Why not?”

Yixing stills. “Are you serious?” He looks like he’s about to say more but Baekhyun has made the observant move and decided to come fetch him, laying a firm hand on Yixing’s shoulders and pulling him back slightly. 

“I think we should let Lu Han go,” Baekhyun says, smiling pleasantly at Lu Han. “I, for one, don’t want to alert Jongdae’s possessive side and have him come sit on you again.” He smiles and Lu Han finds himself unconsciously smiling back. Yixing looks slightly annoyed that he can’t continue trying to convince Lu Han about something Lu Han gave up trying to understand or deny a while ago. Baekhyun turns to Yixing, hand drifting to tickle up the back of his neck. “Plus, it’s late and I want you to take me home so you can take my clothes off.” He gives Lu Han a small smirk as Yixing gives him a raised but not rejecting look.

“Aren't you working tomorrow?” Yixing asks even as he wraps an arm around Baekhyun’s waist. 

Baekhyun shrugs. “At the moment, waking up on time to go to work is not at the top of my priorities list.” Baekhyun turns to look at Yixing, eyes twinkling as Yixing watches him in subtle amazement. Lu Han has not seen Yixing with that look in a long time. He finds himself smiling. Baekhyun gives Lu Han a small bow in farewell, pushing Yixing to the elevator. They’ve made it maybe three steps, before Baekhyun pulls away, leaning back towards Lu Han.

Yixing looks back with a surprised frown as Baekhyun smiles at Lu Han. “And I don't know if this counts for anything, but I, for one, like Jongdae. I hope you two continue to be strange and happy together.”

Lu Han blinks as Baekhyun flashes him a brilliant smile and rejoins Yixing, disappearing into the elevator a moment later. There’s something wrong with his chest, Lu Han thinks, as he walks back into the house, mind on this evening and Chen and the concept of ‘boyfriend’ which sticks in his mind like a splinter and makes his heart bubble uncomfortably in happiness. But then his mind flashes back to Chen, panicked in the bathroom and warily watching Chanyeol. Chen, still holding so many characteristics as a cat. Chen, who still can’t really read. Chen, who doesn’t have an identity among humans as one of them. 

Chen, who has been trying to learn and read and act like a human but will never, ever, actually be the same as Junmyeon or Sehun or Yixing. Never will be the same as Lu Han because he just simply isn’t. 

It hurts to think about it.

And Lu Han doesn’t want to think about why. 

Chen is still on the couch when Lu Han walks back onto the apartment, limbs curled up into himself and face buried into his chest. Lu Han smiles to himself, looking down at the other and gently brushing his hair from his face, fingers drawing over the soft strands. Chen sighs gently in his sleep, shifting on the couch and burying his face in the cushion before stilling again. 

Lu Han doesn't wake him, instead slipping to change for bed and washing up. Chen is nestled in his bed when he finishes brushing his teeth and Lu Han crawls in behind him, putting an arm around him and earning a sigh. “Thanks,” is breathed out as Chen plays with his fingers in the darkness.

“What else are mates for,” Lu Han murmurs into Chen’s hair.

The next morning, Junmyeon ignores Chen and Lu Han completely, instead throwing skeptical looks at them. At work, Tao regales Lu Han with his excitement over this new drama he’s discovered and Chen frowns at book, occasionally poking Jongin in the shoulder. Lu Han watches him carefully, trying to figure out if Chen is avoiding him or just wrapped up in his own things. 

It isn’t until after dinner, when Chen is napping in the living room and Lu Han is washing out the pots, that Junmyeon gets home and looks grave. 

“Lu Han.”

“Junmyeon,” Lu Han replies, stepping away from the sink and turning to his roommate. 

“Lu Han, I need to you to be honest with me,” Junmyeon says as Lu Han grabs absently at a dishtowel, tossing it between his hands. Lu Han nods to show Junmyeon he’s paying attention. “Lu Han, how long has Jongdae been living here?”

Lu Han pauses. There are many answers. ‘Since you brought him here,’ ‘about six months,’ and ‘a while’ all being accurate. Lu Han settles for shifting his weight and giving “A while,” for Junmyeon to chew on.

“Is he employed?” Junmyeon asks, frown increasing. 

“No,” Lu Han answers honestly. Sure, Chen may as well work at the book store considering how frequently he is there with Lu Han, but considering he doesn’t even have an identity number, employment might be hard to find for him. 

“Lu Han, I’m serious,” Junmyeon tells him, frowning for sure now. 

“So am I,” Lu Han says easily. “I told you the truth yesterday.”

Junmyeon doesn’t seem impressed by this logic. “If you are referring to the bullshit you fed me about Jongdae being Chen, I’m-“

“That’s exactly what I’m referring to,” Lu Han says. Honestly, explaining how Lu Han is currently in a strange sort of relationship with Chen, the now human-ish cat person, when Chen doesn’t have an identity, an education, a job, a history is so much easier to explain by just telling Junmyeon the truth. “Why would I lie about that?”

Junmyeon is scowling at him now. “Because you’re an asshole,” Junmyeon grinds out, trying to grab the towel flying between Lu Han’s hands absently. Lu Han tosses the towel out of harms way. 

“I’m serious,” Lu Han says, grinning slightly as Junmyeon scowls at Lu Han continues to toss his towel. 

“So am I,” Junmyeon snaps. “You can’t really be dating this guy.”

“Well, I kind of am,” Lu Han says, feeling an itch in the back of his throat. 

“He’s living with us!” Junmyeon hisses, glancing over to where Chen is still in the living room. 

“And?” Lu Han counters, the itch growing to spread down his spine. “Sehun has basically set up permanent residence in your bed.”

“Sehun is going home tonight,” Junmyeon sighs, finally managing to grab Lu Han’s towel. “He has a business meeting tomorrow morning. Sehun is going back to his own home so he can go to his own job and continue with his own life. Sehun is my boyfriend, not my live in fuck toy.”

Lu Han glares as the comment stabs between his ribs and jerks at what he’s begun to accept as ‘his emotions’. “So, you two are legitimately boyfriends, huh?”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Junmyeon snaps, using the stolen towel to smack at Lu Han. “Is it so strange that I like this guy and he likes me?”

“Yes,” Lu Han says bluntly and Junmyeon hits him again. “Junmyeon, you never settle down.”

“Neither do you,” Junmyeon snarls, turning to the sink and throwing the towel to the counter. “Lu Han, you don’t settle down. You just jump from things and never let people on your bed and now you’ve found this-“ Junmyeon seems to sputter for words for a minute, glaring at the faucet. “-this homeless weirdo and it’s just- No.”

“No what?” Lu Han says, eyes narrowing. 

“Lu Han, you can keep this weird relationship, or fucking, or whatever it is, but he can’t stay here.”

Lu Han’s blood burns. He thinks of Chen, curled up on Junmyeon’s lap, tail gently tickling his nose. He thinks of Chen, flailing in the bathtub as soap gets in his eyes. Chen, frowning at the idea of clothes and wearing a huge fur hat in just Lu Han’s boxers at nine in the morning. Chen, studying spoons and Hangeul and the television in rapt fascination. Chen, starting at loud sounds and sudden lights, jerking motions and glaring in judgment at random customers. Chen, curled at the bass of Junmyeon’s bed and looking hopelessly sad when he thinks Lu Han isn’t looking and Junmyeon is glaring, trying to ignore them both. 

Chen, shaking in the bathtub and trying to process Junmyeon’s obvious rejection of him.

“You can’t force him out,” Lu Han says, glaring at Junmyeon.

“Lu Han!” Junmyeon half yells, before catching himself and breathing heavily through his nose. “He can’t stay here.”

“Junmyeon-“ Lu Han begins but Junmyeon grabs the towel and hurls it at him, patience obviously snapping. 

“Lu Han, I don’t like him!” Junmyeon spits, clearly at the end of his rope. “If you want to date him, fine, but he can’t live here with us. I’m tired of the goddamn ridiculous story that he’s my fucking cat because honestly, that’s low even for you.” Junmyeon, breathing heavily though his nose, shoves a finger into Lu Han’s chest. “Talk to him. Figure something out. I just want him out by the weekend.”

Lu Han is glaring, fire boiling in his stomach and racing through his chest. “You’re such an asshole.”

“Sehun likes me,” Junmyeon spits at him, knocking shoulders with Lu Han as he pushes past him out of the kitchen. 

“Well, he’s a miracle of a person then,” Lu Han growls, glaring at his roommate as he marches to his room. “I look forward to when he discovers what a real asshole you are.”

Junmyeon pauses, shoulders tense before he turns to look at Lu Han. “I like him,” Junmyeon says, looking tired. “I really like him, Lu Han. I don’t want to fuck up this time.” Lu Han stares and Junmyeon looks into his eyes boldly. “So, Jongdae has to go.”

“Sehun doesn’t mind him,” Lu Han says, feeling slightly helpless. 

“Sehun doesn’t pay half of the rent and pick up your slack because you work at a bookstore and can barely scrape the rent every month,” Junmyeon says, voice definite. “I do, and I say you figure something else out.” He sighs. “Look, if you were just dating him it would be one thing, but he’s living here. And I just- I’m sorry, Lu Han.”

“You’re being stupid,” Lu Han snaps, glaring after Junmyeon.

“I’m not the one who is dating a homeless person and using the excuse that they’re his roommate’s lost cat as justification for a continuation of their relationship,” Junmyeon snaps back before wrenching open the door of his room and walking inside.

Lu Han stares, fighting down the annoyance in his throat at Junmyeon and the scratch against his throat at the reality Junmyeon is shoving in his face. Except it’s a little worse, because what Junmyeon can’t see as reality is actually reality. Running a hand through his hair, Lu Han walks back to the living room to find Chen, who hasn’t moved, instead still curled up and still on the couch. Lu Han gently sits down beside him, careful not to disturb him. Chen doesn’t react, form still and slightly rigid. Lu Han watches him, the chest rising and falling steadily, before gently reaching out and brushing Chen’s hair. 

Chen doesn’t move, just remains still on the couch. 

“How much did you hear?” Lu Han asks, voice soft. Chen doesn’t answer as Lu Han continues to gently brush his fingers through his hair. He’s awake, Lu Han knows because sleeping Chen is sensitive to touch and curls almost immediately upon contact. “Chen-“

“This would be better if I was a cat, wouldn’t it,” Chen says, eyes still closed and completely still as Lu Han’s hand pauses. “If I had never become human. None of this would be bad.”

Lu Han swallows around the knot in his throat. “Come on,” he says, gently running his hand to cup behind Chen’s neck. “It’s late. We should go to bed.”

Chen blinks open dark brown eyes, looking without focus into the living room. “Am I really so troublesome?”

“No,” Lu Han says, stroking a thumb behind Chen’s ear. Images of Chen shredding toilet paper in boredom, smacking people with spoons, and nearly setting the apartment on fire the one time he tried to help Lu Han cook dinner flash through his mind. He smiles. “You’re not troublesome at all.” Chen turns, eyes finding his filled with skepticism. “Well, not all the time,” Lu Han amends and a small smile touches Chen’s mouth. 

Slowly, Lu Han drags Chen up from the couch and back to his room, where Lu Han has barely begun dragging Chen’s shirt over his head before Chen is wrapping his arms around Lu Han’s middle, pressing his face into his chest. “I miss it,” Chen says, voice muffled in Lu Han’s throat. 

Lu Han pauses, letting his hands drift to rest on Chen’s hips. “Being a cat?”

“Being okay,” Chen says, fingers twitching in Lu Han’s shirt. Lu Han feels like his throat is raw, chest clenching horribly. “I don’t like being so strange and so weird because it never used to be strange and weird and bad.”

“Well, you’re human now,” Lu Han says, pressing his face into Chen’s hair and breathing to try to keep the horrible feeling from building even more inside him. 

“People don’t like me as a human,” Chen says, turning his head to tuck under Lu Han’s chin, cheek pressed into his collarbone. 

“I like you as a human,” Lu Han says, the words feeling like rocks in his mouth. “Tao and Jongin and Baekhyun all like you too.”

“But they still don’t know about me,” Chen says, fingers gently playing up Lu Han’s back. “They think I’m Jongdae, the kind of weird-“ Chen pauses, and pulls back. “What is a boyfriend?”

Lu Han looks down into Chen’s brown eyes, feeling his throat burn. “A boyfriend is like a mate, except it’s someone you love. Someone you love more than anyone else and you want to spend all of your time with.”

“What is love?” Chen asks, eyes darkening as they flicker between Lu Han’s.

“Love is when your heart aches to be with someone,” Lu Han says, trying to ignore the frantic beating of his own. “Love is when you look at someone and feel like everything is better in the world, like just a word from them could stop time and they can always make you smile. Love is when you would do anything for someone just to see them okay.”

Chen is watching him with a contemplative expression on his face. “It sounds painful,” he says.

“It is,” Lu Han tells him, feeling himself smile slightly. “But it’s also the best thing in the world.”

Chen blinks at him, long and slow before wetting his lips. “How do you know you’re in love?” 

“I don’t know,” Lu Han says. “It’s different for everyone. But you know when you are.”

“And you love your boyfriend,” Chen says, as if certifying these facts. “You belong to them and they belong to you and you are in love.” 

Lu Han huffs out a laugh, pressing his forehead to Chen’s. “Yeah, something like that,” he says and Chen nods, jutting out his lips in thought. “Why?”

Chen looks up at him. “Can you be boyfriends with someone who isn’t human?” 

Something wraps itself around Lu Han’s heart and squeezes so painfully it’s hard to breathe. “If you want to be.”

Chen swallows. “Are we boyfriends?”

Lu Han feels the binds around his heart squeeze tighter. “If you want to be,” he says again and Chen bites his lip. Chen doesn't answer, doesn’t voice the unanswered question of ‘do you want to be?’ Instead, he leans forward and kisses Lu Han, mouth soft and sweet against Lu Han’s as his heart skips painfully in his chest. “Do you really miss being a cat that badly?” he asks as Chen pulls back for a breath. Chen looks at him, eyes dark almost to black in the dim light of the room. Chen seems to think for a moment before leaning in again and kissing, pushing Lu Han’s question and his answer back into their mouths as his hands slip up the back of Lu Han’s shirt, tracing fire over skin. 

With Chen’s back pressed into the bed, harsh pants dragging from his throat as Lu Han presses searing kisses into his skin, Lu Han memorizes him. Drags fingers and lips over skin that he’s become so familiar with and which he’s beginning to think now won’t be his for much longer. Chen pants, head thrown back as Lu Han works him open, back arching off the bed and moans dripping from his lips. “Lu Han,” Chen breaths to the air of the room, eyes shut and cheeks flushed. Lu Han slowly kisses back up Chen’s chest, until their mouths seal together, moving with a languid pace that’s both new and exciting. 

It also burns a hole in Lu Han’s chest because this is something more. This isn’t the frantic frustrations of two people, venting their attraction and curiosity. This is deeper, more painful, and Lu Han’s pretty sure his idle name for his sentiments tossed out may actually be true. 

But with Chen splayed on his bed, legs wrapped around Lu Han’s waist and fingers digging desperately into Lu Han’s hair, holding on and gasping moans as Lu Han slowly pushes in and drags out, taking time and letting the coil that winds low build tighter and tighter, Lu Han pushes aside the reality that Chen isn’t perfectly human. Instead, Lu Han focuses on Chen, holding onto him with painful need, rutting back and giving soft cries every time Lu Han nudges over that small bundle of nerves that sends him arching just a little more off the bed. Lu Han focuses on how Chen clings and pants into him, how Chen watches with almost black eyes and kisses back frantically. Lu Han instead focuses on this, here and now, where he brings himself to the burning in his chest that isn’t from sex and instead because he has somehow wrapped his heart around the man clinging to him and he doesn't know how or why but in this moment, love is the most painful and amazing thing he’s ever experienced. 

It’s languid and slow and almost so prefect and intense it hurts and when Chen finally cries out, Lu Han’s thrusts finally having turned erratic as the pace became too slow and their need too much, Lu Han comes with him, mind wiping out behind his eyes as they ride through orgasm that leaves them both exhausted and useless, spent and lying tangled on the bed with far too little oxygen in their lungs. 

When Lu Han finally pulls away, Chen is frowning as he pants into the air. “It hurts,” Chen says, voice husky from nearly screaming minutes before, as he has a hand resting gently over his chest. 

Lu Han, still feeling the hum along his skin and tingling in his fingers, looks down at Chen. “What does?”

“Here,” Chen says, tapping his fingers over his chest. Over his heart. He blinks up at Lu Han. “Is it supposed to hurt?”

“What kind of hurt?” Lu Han asks, looking down with concern as Chen shifts, angling himself more into Lu Han. 

“Like an ache,” Chen says. “Like something is pressing down. It hurts but doesn’t at the same time.”

“Is this the first time you’ve felt it?” Lu Han asks, placing his own hand over Chen’s and twining their fingers together. 

“No,” Chen answers, swallowing as his lips flicker between Lu Han’s eyes and over his face. “But it’s never been like this.” He sighs, seeming perplexed as his fingers flex under Lu Han’s, twined together. “It was different this time.” Lu Han simply nods. “Why?”

Lu Han blinks. “Was it bad?”

“No,” Chen says hastily, looking shocked. “No, it just- It felt, well, it didn’t feel like mating. It felt like…” Chen trails off, words apparently escaping him. “I don’t understand.”

Settling down into the bed, Chen automatically curling into him, Lu Han gently runs his fingers over Chen, passing through sweat-slicked hair and over cooling skin. “Understand what?”

“I am okay with this,” Chen says, nose pressing gently into Lu Han’s throat as his words fan against his sternum. “Being with you, like this. But-“ Lu Han’s fingers trail lazy circles and triangles over Chen’s shoulders and back. “But there’s something really wrong with it.” Figure eights. “I don’t know why it’s wrong, because we’re mates and it’s supposed to be okay, but it’s not.” Chinese characters Lu Han hasn’t written in years, tracing his name and simple words he memorized early. “I don’t understand why Junmyeon doesn’t like me-“ Water “-or why it’s so hard to be human-“ Mountain “-or how to use spoons like you do-“ Heaven “-or why being around you makes me happy and sad and want to cry and laugh at the same time.” Love.

Lu Han stills, feeling his heart pound as Chen sighs into his neck, pressing closer into him. “It’s okay,” Lu Han says, trying to soothe away the worried tension that occasionally flexes under his fingers. “It will be okay.”

“Junmyeon wants me to leave,” Chen says and Lu Han’s hands stop. Chen breathes against his skin. “Junmyeon wants me to leave. I’m not a normal human. Junmyeon doesn’t know me. I can’t stay.”

“Yes, you can,” Lu Han tells him firmly, pulling back to look at Chen properly. “You can stay. I won’t force you out. I wont abandon you.”

“Mates abandon each other all the time,” Chen says, eyes unblinking. 

“I’m a different kind of mate,” Lu Han says, and offers Chen a smile. “And I won’t abandon you.” Chen raises his eyebrows. “Who else would teach you not to pee in the sink?” Lu Han says and Chen finally smiles, a small laugh coughing up from his throat as Lu Han pulls him close, pressing a kiss to his forehead as Chen sighs, seeming to relax. The dull hum in Chen’s throat lulls Lu Han to sleep. 

The next morning Lu Han wakes up to an empty bed. Frowning, he pushes himself from the covers and looks around blearily. 

Chen is no where. 

Getting up, Lu Han throws on a pair of boxers before walking blearily from the bedroom. The bathroom is empty. Biting back a wave of nervous nausea, he checks Junmyeon’s room. Junmyeon is still asleep and Chen is no where to be found. Lu Han checks the living room. Also empty. Finally walking into the kitchen, Lu Han finds Chen staring as he repeatedly turns on and off the sink faucet in distinct concentrated wonder. 

“It’s magic,” Lu Han says, smiling as Chen doesn’t jump but just looks up at him casually. “Humans are also magical. We’re just that superior.”

“Teach me how to make breakfast,” Chen tells Lu Han and Lu Han smiles automatically before moving close and pulling Chen from the sink, guiding him around the kitchen. Chen is extremely clumsy, as is to be expected, but manages to successfully turn on the stove without catching himself on anything else on fire and handles the eggs Lu Han gives him as if they’re the most precious thing in the world. 

They end up getting at least seven pieces of eggshell in the eggs themselves but Lu Han thinks it’s massive progress from the cold soggy oatmeal Chen had previously attempted. 

Chen turns to him in delight, smile breaking his face into wrinkles and his eyes to slits as the eggs cook and Lu Han can’t help but smile back, wrapping his arms around Chen and stepping in to cradle him to his chest. Guiding his actions gently, Lu Han drinks in Chen’s delight at making his first meal. 

Eggs. Featuring egg shells and some slight burning. But it’s mostly a success.

“What are you doing up so early?” Junmyeon asks, wandering in the kitchen and looking exhausted. 

“Eggs!” Chen chirps happily, brandishing his spatula happily. 

“Chen made us breakfast,” Lu Han elaborates, still wrapped around Chen as he tries to smile at Junmyeon. It tastes bitter as Junmyeon gives them a disinterested look.

“Have a cookie,” Junmyeon says with a raised eyebrow before setting about to make the coffee. “Lu Han, I need the rent by Tuesday.” 

“I’ll get it to you,” Lu Han says, watching Junmyeon carefully. Something’s off. “Do you want some eggs?”

“No,” Junmyeon says, and glances coldly at Chen.

“Why don’t you like me?” Chen asks suddenly and both Lu Han and Junmyeon turn to look at him.

“Where did you get the idea that I don’t like you?” Junmyeon asks, looking at Chen with a flat expression.

Chen seems startled by the question. “Well, you’re always angry at me, and you frown at me, and fight with Lu Han about me, and keep saying I have to leave, and you’re never very nice.”

“Well then,” Junmyeon says, turning from the coffee pot to look at the couple before him. “Yeah, I’d say that’s a pretty good observation. You’re right, I don’t.”

Lu Han stares, just stares at Junmyeon. Chen looks astonished. “Are you being serious?” Lu Han asks, voice soft in his disbelief at his roommate.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Junmyeon asks, frowning at them. “You’re right. Jongdae, I don’t like you.”

“But why?” Chen asks, looking extremely lost. 

“Do you like dogs?” Junmyeon fires back.

Chen looks slightly thrown. “No-“

“Well then, same thing,” Junmyeon says as if this solves the topic. Lu Han hardly doubts that Junmyeon’s dislike of Chen is the equivalent of Chen’s near death panic about a species which, two months prior, would have either chased him up a tree or possibly eaten him alive. “I don’t like you, and I don’t like you living here.”

“Junmyeon-“ 

“No,” Junmyeon says, turning to Lu Han. “Look, I know you’re dating Lu Han and everything, but you can’t live here. I don’t know where you got this idea that it’s okay to live here, but it’s not. Go home.”

“But-“ Chen begins to say but Junmyeon cuts him off.

“I don’t care if that’s with your family or another friend of yours or whatever, but not here,” Junmyeon continues, turning to grab a coffee mug from the cabinet. “This is not just Lu Han’s house.”

“I don’t have another home,” Chen blurts out, looking slightly panicked as Lu Han moves from him and positions himself in front of him. 

Junmyeon barely pauses as he places his coffee mug on the counter. “Well, that’s not my problem,” he says evenly, watching the coffee brew lazily. “You should have considered that before becoming homeless.”

“He’s not homeless,” Lu Han snaps. “His home is here. Junmyeon-“

“If you are going to feed me another fucking line about Jongdae being my goddamn cat I swear to God Lu Han I will break your arm,” Junmyeon suddenly yells, turning to Lu Han with anger that is not common on his features. “Jongdae is not Chen and never has been. You fucking lost or murdered my cat and are now pressing this ridiculous lie about how your new sex buddy is my pet! I’m sick of this shit.” Junmyeon glares at Chen. “Get out.”

“You really-“ Chen chokes slightly. “You really don’t recognize me,” he finally finishes and Junmyeon, it seems, snaps. 

“No!” Junmyeon yells, moving as if he’s about to lunge at Chen and Lu Han instantly positions himself in front of him. Junmyeon glares and the next second Lu Han is too late to duck and his jaw burns from the impact of Junmyeon’s fist. “I do not recognize you. Fuck off!”

The door to Junmyeon’s bedroom slams a few moments later and Lu Han finally looks up, hand on his smarting jaw to glare before turning to Chen. Chen is watching the eggs on the stove, looking extremely lost. 

“Chen-“

“I wish I wasn’t human,” Chen says, eyes on the eggs. “I wish I’d never become this way.” Lu Han feels like Chen just punched him in the heart. “I hate this.”

Lu Han is too numb to stop him as Chen pushes past him, movements erratic and runs from the kitchen. Chen doesn't come to work with Lu Han that day. Instead, he remains curled on Lu Han’s bed and Lu Han doesn’t bother him as he prepares to leave, instead just pressing a soft kiss to his hair before he leaves. Tao keeps shooting him concerned looks over the course of the day which Lu Han finally calls him out on around lunch. Tao asks what’s wrong. Lu Han doesn’t answer. Even Jongin looks concerned over his gimbap as Tao shreds seaweed agitatedly. Lu Han comes home to Junmyeon distractedly trying to make dinner while Sehun makes unhelpful commentary and grins to himself. Sehun keeps stealing tidbits and earning him light disapproving slaps on the hand that Sehun returns with a little more force and earns hidden smiles from Junmyeon. 

“Where’s Jongdae?” Lu Han asks, looking at the couple as they softly fuss over the dinner. 

Junmyeon doesn’t look up, just frowns. “I don’t know. Maybe I lost him like you lost my cat.”

Lu Han doesn’t appreciate the comment. 

Sehun looks at his boyfriend with an exasperated expression. Or bored. Lu Han isn’t entirely sure. “He’s in your room,” Sehun says, stealing a piece of zucchini and popping it into his mouth, chewing happily at Junmyeon when the chef huffs. “He said he wasn’t hungry.”

“Thanks,” Lu Han says, offering Sehun a small smile before walking to his room. 

The lights are still off in Lu Han’s room when he opens the door. He clicks them on, illuminating the area and immediately finds Chen nestled among his blankets, curled into himself on the bed and looking like he hasn't moved all day. Lu Han walks over and sits down, immediately moving to run his fingers through his hair, as has become habit. However, before he can even touch Chen, Chen is sitting up, bringing them face to face and frowning. 

“Why am I human?” 

Lu Han blinks. “I don’t know.”

“Then why am I not a cat?”

“I don’t know.”

“Will I turn back into a cat?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know a lot of things,” Chen huffs before flumping back into the bed.

“Do you want to be a cat again?” Lu Han asks, looking down at Chen and feeling his chest begin to sink into his toes. 

“Being a cat was a lot easier than being a human,” Chen grumbles into the blankets. “Being human is like running around all the time after silly lights and toys I can never catch but instead have to learn about. It’s big and scary and no one really likes me.”

“I like you,” Lu Han says, leaning down over Chen, arms braced on either side of him and trying to smile. 

“You’re weird,” Chen grumbles, not looking at him. 

“Yeah, well, so is Chanyeol,” Lu Han says and Chen finally turns to him, skeptical look on his face. 

“Chanyeol’s a dog,” Chen says flatly. “A really dumb happy in-love-with-Yifan dog.”

“I don’t see any difference,” Lu Han says, smiling down at Chen. “Except I’m smart and like you instead of Yifan. And I’m not a dog.” 

“Thank God,” Chen says, still smiling as he brings a hand up, finger coming to trace over Lu Han’s face. “I could never kiss a dog.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m just a weird human and not a weird dog then,” Lu Han says before closing the distance between them and kissing Chen, feeling fingers come to brush into his hair and pull him close. It’s not a lasting lingering kiss, but it still sends sparks dancing over Lu Han’s skin and into his chest. 

“I’ve been thinking,” Chen says, pulling away and looking up at Lu Han, a small frown of confusion in his face. 

“I never knew you could think,” Lu Han says, and Chen shoves him humorously.

“About what you said,” Chen continues and Lu Han pauses, shifting so he’s lying beside Chen instead of practically on top of him. 

“What did I say?” Lu Han asks, running a hand up and down Chen’s arm absently. 

“About boyfriends,” Chen says, still frowning as he fiddles with Lu Han’s comforter as Lu Han stills slightly. “About mates and boyfriends and human emotions and being human and being a cat and all sorts of things.” He takes a deep breath. “But I wanted to know something.”

“What?” Lu Han asks, once more running his hand up and down Chen’s arm gently. 

“What do you do when you love someone?”

Lu Han freezes, eyes on Chen as the other continues to fidget with Lu Han’s bed, eyes fixed on his hands. “A lot of things,” Lu Han finally says after thinking and watching Chen. 

Chen looks up, eyes clouded. There is no gold. “Like what?”

“Well,” Lu Han begins, pushing himself up onto his elbow. “First, you kiss them,” he says, leaning forward and pressing a gentle kiss to Chen’s mouth. “You tell them how much you like them,” Lu Han continues, pulling back, thumb rubbing gently into the dip in Chen’s elbow. “You hold them and do nice things for them and protect them and care for them.” Lu Han presses another kiss to the corner of Chen’s mouth. “You help them, and listen to them when they’re sad or scared and do things for them so they know they’re special,” he murmurs against the corner of Chen’s lips before pulling away. “You make them yours, just as they make you theirs and give them what they need to be happy.”

Chen is watching Lu Han with wide eyes, shining in the fluorescent lights of the room as Lu Han looks at him, breaths short in his throat and feeling impossibly naked. “That sounds like a lot,” Chen breathes.

“Maybe,” Lu Han says, voice soft. “But it’s worth it when you love someone.”

“Even if they’re not human?” Chen asks, voice quiet.

“Even then,” Lu Han says before pressing another kiss to Chen’s parted lips and slumping back into bed, pulling them together. “When you love someone, you do what you think will make them happy.”

“What if you don’t know what will make them happy?” Chen asks Lu Han’s throat. 

“Then you make something up,” Lu Han says into Chen’s hair, fingers idly tracing over the back of Chen’s neck. “And hope that works.”

Sehun knocks on the door an hour later, poking his head in and asking for they want dinner. Chen doesn’t move and Lu Han tells Sehun, no, they will eat later. Junmyeon doesn’t leave leftovers. Or maybe he does but not where Lu Han can find them easily. Lu Han instead fixes something simple and he and Chen eat together, seated on the kitchen floor and knocking their feet together idly. 

“It still tastes weird,” Chen comments half way through the bowl of kimchi fried rice. 

“I’m not opening a can of cat food for you,” Lu Han tells him with a small smile. 

“You’re mean,” Chen says, but smiles none the less as he knocks Lu Han’s foot with his own. 

“Am not,” Lu Han says, knocking back. “You’re just weird.”

“You like me anyway,” Chen says, taking a large spoonful of rice and shoving it into his mouth awkwardly. 

“Yeah,” Lu Han says, looking beside him to Chen, who looks back with wide innocent eyes. Lu Han’s chest burns. “I do.”

Chen’s eyes cloud with something as he chews, watching Lu Han for a moment before turning back to his bowl of half decimated food. “Would you like me even if I wasn’t human?”

Lu Han’s chest burns further, dropping until it’s cinders collapse into his pelvic region and smolder in demise around his stomach. “I wouldn’t care if you were a tree, I’d probably still like you.”

Chen looks up at him with a raised eyebrow. “You didn’t like me before when I was a cat,” he says.

“Not true,” Lu Han says, tapping him on the nose with his spoon. “I thought you were adorable. You, on the other hand, seemed to think I was going to murder you and hated me.”

“I like you,” Chen says, tapping Lu Han back on the nose. 

“You didn’t used to,” Lu Han says, smiling as Chen continues to bap him on the nose with silverware. “You used to act like I was invisible.”

“I’m not just going to rush at you,” Chen says, resting his spoon against Lu Han’s nose with a frown. “I’m not a dog,””

“Thank god,” Lu Han says. “It would get really old taking you outside all the time whenever you had to piss or poop.”

“And I wouldn’t shove my nose into your genitals as a form of greeting,” Chen grumbles, finally leaving Lu Han’s nose along to poke again at his food.

“No,” Lu Han agrees before leaning slightly into Chen. “Though that might not entirely be a bad thing,” he finishes and Chen looks up at him with a small frown, Lu Han’s eyebrows wagging as he bites suggestively at his spoon before understanding seems to dawn over him.

“You’re in perpetual heat,” Chen says, grinning back at him.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Lu Han says, going back to his meal, satisfied at the brilliant flush on Chen’s cheeks. Chen just bumps shoulders with him, fighting down a smile and shoving another large bite of kimchi rice into his mouth. Lu Han smiles into his own food, pushing aside the horrible mess in his chest to just try to enjoy this. 

Curled up in the darkness, Chen wrapped in his arms and tracing patters into his side, occasionally brushing finger pads over the sensitive spot by his ribs, Lu Han focuses on breathing in Chen. 

“Would you really still love me if I was a cat again?” 

Lu Han stills. “Yes,” he says firmly. 

There is a pause. “So you love me,” Chen says, voice hushed and Lu Han’s heart aches.

“Yes,” he repeats, closing his eyes at the final admission. 

There is silence for a long time until “This is complicated, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Lu Han says, feeling heavy as he pulls Chen tighter.

“How do we make this not complicated?” Chen asks, and his eyes shine in the dark. 

“I don’t know,” Lu Han admits, wetting dry lips as he looks at the figure in his arms. 

Chen nods, eyes flickering as speckles of gold flash in the dark. His hand drifts up to trace down Lu Han’s face. “Lu Han,” he says, voice quiet. “What do you do when you want to make the person you love happy, but don’t know how?”

Lu Han swallows around the painful knot lodged in his throat. “I don’t know he says, fighting back the strange prickling at his eyes as he tries to smile at Chen. “I don’t know, but I wish I did.”

Fingers paused by his lips, Chen bites his own, hesitating for a moment before leaning in and pressing theirs together, gentle and innocent but dragging a shudder from Lu Han regardless as the simple small kiss seems to hold more message in it than he’s prepared for. 

Chen curls into him, arms wrapped around him firmly as Lu Han buries his face in Chen’s hair, taking steadying reassuring breaths and trying to keep his heart from racing out of his chest. Just as he’s drifting off to sleep, mind still on the body curled into him, the words he’s been thinking and fighting and which have been clawing at his throat ghost past his lips. 

And in Lu Han’s dreams, vague and muted, he hears them whispered back. 

The next morning, Lu Han wakes up feeling exhausted and as if he’s just run a marathon. His legs and arms and neck all hurt as if he’s been forced into extremely strange angles during the night and slept upside down on a jungle gym. Groaning into the mattress, he moves away from the odd repetitive patting sensation on the top of his head. It doesn’t stop as he buries himself into the bedding, frowning at the batting thing. 

“Stop, Chen,” Lu Han grumbles, stretching out a hand to push at Chen beside him and cease the other from batting him obnoxiously. His hand meets air. Lu Han’s frown deepens. “Chen?” he says, voice hesitant as his hand stretches out further and he is met with nothing, only the brush of sheets. The thing on top of his head suddenly hits particularly hard and meows.

Jolting up right, Lu Han comes face to face with a gorgeously sleek looking Russian blue, with gold eyes that look horribly pleading and scared, hunched on his pillow and with a paw held up feebly. All of the air gets sucked out of Lu Han’s lungs as he looks at the cat who is watching him so miserably he may as well be stabbed in the emotions. He reaches out with a shaking hand. “Chen?” he asks, voice tight in his throat. 

Chen, because what other cat would be within arms reach of him and not glaring in disapproval, opens his mouth and lets out a depressing sounding meow, whiskers drooping as he paws at Lu Han’s outstretched hand. “No,” slips from Lu Han’s lips before he can stop it. “Chen,” chokes from his throat as Chen yowls and paws at him again before slinking forward and pressing into him, nuzzling his furry little head under Lu Han’s chin. 

Chen is a cat. 

Chen is not a human. 

Chen is now a cat again and curling into Lu Han with sad meows and Lu Han has never felt so heart broken in his life. Chen is mewling, nudging his head under Lu Han’s chin as he tries to press closer, paws kneading pin pricks into his chest and Lu Han chokes back a sob in his throat. “I’m sorry.” Even his voice sounds shattered to his ears as he gently strokes his hands over Chen’s glossy coat, thick fur sliding under his fingers with softness Lu Han has come to know from skin. “I shouldn’t cry.” 

Chen doesn’t answer, just wriggles his small body closer, pressing his nose into the juncture between Lu Han’s jaw and neck, nuzzling. Carefully, Lu Han pulls him closer until he is cradling Chen against him, fur tickling over skin. Lu Han shifts, pressing his face into the soft fur of Chen’s neck. Chen lets out a soft meow and Lu Han chokes out a sob. 

It’s as if that first crack breaks the damn that he’s been building up and the next moment Lu Han is crying, horrible sounding sobs that he muffles into Chen’s fur while Chen yowls into him, seeming just as displeased that he is a cat again. 

“Lu Han, what is wr-“

Sehun clearly isn't prepared to find Lu Han mostly naked and clutching a cat to him and sobbing uncontrollably on his bed at seven thirty in the morning. To be fair, Lu Han hadn’t exactly been prepared to wake up mostly naked to find Chen as a cat in his bed patting him on the face despondently to inform him that he was, once again, a cat. What a shitty way to start the day. 

“Um.” Sehun clearly has no idea what to do, as he stands awkwardly in the doorway, watching Lu Han with furrowed eyebrows and a confused but concerned expression. “Why are you crying?”

“He’s a cat!” Lu Han sobs loudly as Chen meows miserably. “He’s a cat, Sehun!”

Sehun swallows, watching as Chen and Lu Han seem to have a moment of communicating in sad sounds. “Yeah, I can see it’s a cat,” Sehun says, looking horribly lost. “I didn’t know cats made you sad.”

“He’s a fucking cat!” Lu Han snaps, pulling away and looking down at Chen, whose fur is matted and wet from where he’d buried his face moments before. Chen meows and looks pitiful before butting his head into Lu Han’s chest and sniffing in annoyance. “I can’t even understand him anymore,” Lu Han chokes, dragging a hand over his face and trying to get control of himself again. “He’s a cat again and I thought that would be okay but it’s not because now I’m just in love with a cat and there’s something seriously immoral about that.”

Sehun blinks and looks horribly awkwardly confused. “What about Jongdae?”

But at that moment, Lu Han is spared from answering as Junmyeon joins in the misery fest, walking into the room and looking sufferingly annoyed. “What on eart- oh my God, did you find my cat?!”

Lu Han wants to chuck all of the books he owns at Junmyeon. “Your fucking cat never left!” he snaps as Chen jerks in his arms to look at Junmyeon, claws digging into Lu Han’s thighs painfully. 

“Chen!” Junmyeon lets out happily, making to hurry to Lu Han’s bed and getting half way across the room when Chen suddenly folds himself against Lu Han, back pressing hard against his stomach, hair rising and hissing viciously. Junmyeon stumbles to a halt, looking shocked. “Chen?” he asks, face falling as Sehun observes them and Lu Han puts a hand on Chen’s back reasurringly. “ChenChen-foobly-woobly-bumber-pants?” Junmyeon tries, taking another step towards Lu Han’s bed and his now hateful cat. 

“He’s always hated that name,” Lu Han says as Chen growls low in his throat and swipes at Junmyeon, who flinches. Lu Han slowly pets down Chen’s back. “Just in case you were wondering.”

“Hey,” Junmyeon says, looking more and more concerned as he approaches the clearly angered Chen. “Hey, bud. It’s me. It’s Junmyeon. Didn’t you miss me?” Chen growls so low and angrily Sehun even takes a step back. 

“Junmyeon, I don’t think-“

“Don’t you remember me?” Junmyeon continues, cutting of Sehun while ignoring Lu Han’s glare and Chen’s spitting hisses as he nearly falls over himself trying to press back against Lu Han. 

Chen lets out a furious meow and swats the air a few more times. 

“I’m pretty sure that means no,” Sehun says, watching Chen warily. 

“Actually, it means yes, and he’s just really fucking pissed at you right now,” Lu Han says, glaring at Junmyeon. 

“He’s my fucking cat,” Junmyeon snaps at Lu Han, glaring. He pauses, looking around. “You finally kicked Jongdae out then,” he remarks and Chen stiffens to a rigid skeleton in Lu Han’s lap. “Good.”

It happens so fast. One moment, Junmyeon is watching Lu Han’s seething expression while Chen is slowly growling with the intensity of a small rocket ship in his lap and the next sharp claws have dug down Junmyeon’s outstretched palm, sending Junmyeon falling back with a loud cry. Chen, now perched on the edge of Lu Han’s bed and looking vicious, hisses at Junmyeon, hackles raised. 

“Chen!” Junmyeon says bewildered, looking at his once docile and adoring cat. “What-“

“Junmyeon!” Sehun says, rushing forward and grabbing his bleeding hand, glancing at Chen warily as Lu Han feels a strange surge of satisfaction. 

“Wait,” Junmyeon says, eyes flickering between Lu Han and Chen. “Why is he not attacking you? He hates you.”

“No, he doesn’t,” Lu Han says, reaching out and laying a hand on Chen’s back. Chen snaps his head to look at him but does nothing, aside from fix those impossibly gold eyes on him and stare. Lu Han offers him a weak smile. “I’m pretty sure Chen doesn’t hate me.” Chen lets out a soft meow before crawling back to Lu Han and slumping against him. 

“I don’t get it,” Junmyeon breathes out, staring flabbergasted at the scene. “He never liked you. He always…” Junmyeon trails off, eyes going slightly glazed as Sehun fusses with his hand. “Lu Han, what did you do to my cat?”

Lu Han slowly strokes down Chen’s back, fingers lingering behind his ears and under the corner of his jaw where he knows Chen likes attention from hours spent exploring him. Chen arches into the touch, gold eyes fixed on him and looking sad. “I didn’t do anything,” Lu Han says, voice soft as Chen flexes his claws into Lu Han’s skin. 

“Junmyeon, your hand,” Sehun says, voice concerned as he tries to see to Junmyeon’s hand and Junmyeon ignores him in favor of looking hopelessly sad at his now fronting cat. 

“I don’t understand,” Junmyeon says, watching as Chen meows sadly again and Lu Han looks down at him. 

“Try harder,” Lu Han says, shifting to allow Chen to curl up into him like so many times before as they settle on the bed and Chen nuzzles into him. Junmyeon looks like he wants to say something but Sehun tugs at him insistently, shooting him a look that Lu Han appreciates as it gets Junmyeon to finally leave he and Chen be. 

Chen mewls softly, curled against Lu Han as Lu Han feels hollow and strokes down his back. “I’m sorry,” Lu Han says, voice cracking as Chen tries to grab his hand with his paws and bring it to him, licking his sandpaper tongue to Lu Han’s palm before looking up, eyes holding a simple question of why? Lu Han feels a small smile tug at his mouth. “Because I’m sad you’re a cat when I should be happy because you weren’t happy as a human.”

Chen shifts, pushing himself up slightly and patting a paw on Lu Han’s jaw, whiskers tickling skin. Somehow, the action carries a very there there quality that, under normal circumstances Lu Han would find very amusing but which right now just hurts even more and he sobs dryly before bringing Chen close, tucking his face into fur. 

Sehun comes in around eight. “Are you going to work today?” he asks, hovering by the door and looking awkward but concerned as Lu Han continues to snuggle with Chen. 

“No,” Lu Han says, voice scratchy as he doesn’t look up. 

There is a pause. “Did he leave you?”

It takes a long time for Lu Han to answer. “When you love someone, the thing you want most is their happiness.”

Sehun takes a long time to answer. “I’m sorry,” is all he says before closing the door and Lu Han closes his eyes, fighting down his urge to scream at how stupid and unfair and foolish all of this is as Chen nestles further under his chin and it just hurts all the more. 

Lu Han doesn’t leave the room really for the rest of the day. Neither does Chen, though Lu Han does have to fetch the litter box when Chen seems extremely antsy and stalks around in agitation before Lu Han finally puts together he has to use the bathroom. Chen gives him the most indignant look possible when Lu Han pulls his litter box from the closet and puts it on the floor. 

“What, you want to use the toilet?” Lu Han asks, feeling tired as Chen eyes the litter box as if he may have just insulted him and his mother and perhaps even every other female figure in his family. Chen meows at him, glaring with his amber eyes. “I’m not letting you use the toilet,” Lu Han says, putting his hands on his hips and staring down at Chen. Chen shifts uncomfortably on the floor and finally Lu Han sighs, turning and padding from the room, Chen scurrying behind him to the bathroom. 

Chen, Lu Han notices, is not nearly as coordinated on all fours as he had been previously. This is exceedingly obvious when Chen seems to be unable to stop as he rushes into the bathroom and instead careens into the towel hamper with a loud surprised meow, flumping in a pile of limbs and washcloths. Lu Han allows himself a small smile as Chen drags himself from the hamper and trots, albeit awkwardly, to the toilet and prepares to jump on. 

“Maybe I should-“ Lu Han barely has started to try to pick up Chen to place him on the toilet when Chen leaps, with horrible inaccuracy, and tumbles directly into the toilet with a horrible splash. “Chen!”

Chen doesn’t appear to feel the need to use the toilet again after that. Instead, he looks around in agitation when he can’t quite seem to remember how cat litter is supposed to work. He also keeps glaring at Lu Han whenever he looks over. 

“It’s not like I haven’t seen you go to the bathroom before,” Lu Han comments as he sits on the bed and stares at his dresser and not at Chen as the cat tries to avoid any and all contact with his poo. “Besides, aren’t you used to this?”

Chen looks up at him with the obvious look that says shut up, you asshole before shaking himself, seeming disgusted with what has just taken place and padding back over to Lu Han on slightly stumbling legs. He manages to jump onto the bed properly this time and immediately crawls into Lu Han’s lap, nuzzling his hand. “If you put your poo paws on my face, I am never forgiving you,” Lu Han says even as he strokes down Chen’s back. 

Chen head buts him in the stomach and after a few minutes of petting, leans up into Lu Han, subtly pushing Lu Han’s chest with his paws, looking lost. Lu Han ends up spending the rest of the afternoon curled in his blankets with Chen softly curled into him and stroking his fur absently. Junmyeon comes in around dinner, poking his head in. 

“Have you finished corrupting my cat yet?” Junmyeon asks, watching Lu Han warily as Chen looks up with blearily blinking eyes.

“I’m not corrupting your cat,” Lu Han says, feeling exhausted. 

“Have you eaten?” Junmyeon asks after a moment, looking between Chen and Lu Han in the dim room. 

“No,” Lu Han answers as Chen wriggles more into the bed. 

Junmyeon fidgets. “Has Chen eaten?”

“Junmyeon, we’re not hungry,” Lu Han says, looking up at Junmyeon and not feeling the energy to argue with him. 

“You can read my cats mind?” Junmyeon asks skeptically. 

“Not now, Junmyeon,” Lu Han sighs, roll to put his back to Junmyeon and Chen starts, turning to look at him sharply. There is silence as Lu Han feels Chen slowly clamber over his back to curl up against him again. 

“I don’t understand why he’s being so cold to me.”

“Please go,” Lu Han says, fighting down the clawing in his throat as Chen puts a paw over his hands. “Please, just go.” The door closes after a few moments and Lu Han closes his eyes, breathing through his nose. “Is it better?” he asks, thumb gently stroking over Chen’s tiny paw. “To be a cat rather than human?” Chen paw flexes under his fingers and Chen doesn’t meow, can’t answer him aside from fixing those gold eyes on Lu Han. Lu Han flashes him a small smile. “I wasn’t lying, you know,” he says, reaching out and scratching Chen behind his ears. “I still love you even if you’re a cat.”

Chen arches into his hand before placing his forehead into Lu Han’s palm, eyes closed and letting out a small huff, whiskers drooping. 

Sleep comes without Lu Han realizing it. Though considering he’s been in a daze most of the day, somewhere between being sadly curled with Chen and going over all the memories from the past few weeks while Chen gently purrs into his chest, Lu Han doesn’t really think the day was worth much. 

A can of cat food sits inside Lu Han’s door the next morning. 

Chen gives Lu Han an affronted look and Lu Han offers him a smile. “I’ll talk to him,” Lu Han says and they walk to the kitchen, Lu Han padding in bare feet and Chen trotting behind him awkwardly, as if four legs is three too many. Junmyeon raises his eyebrows at Lu Han as he comes into the kitchen. “Morning,” Lu Han grumbles, running hand through his hair and wincing. 

Chen sits by the fridge and glares at Junmyeon, ears back. 

Junmyeon looks down at his previously affectionate cat in bewilderment. “Did he eat?”

“He doesn’t want cat food,” Lu Han says, dragging down a pan and putting it on the stove. Junmyeon gives Lu Han an incredulous look. Lu Han frowns at him. “He hasn't had cat food for the past three weeks. Do you really think he’d want to go back to mashed up glop just because he’s a cat?”

“Have you lost your mind?” Junmyeon asks, watching as Lu Han grabs an egg from the fridge and cracks it in the pan. 

“Probably,” Lu Han says, not really paying attention to Junmyeon as he fixes the coffee. 

“How did you leave things with Jongdae?” Junmyeon asks, leaning against the sink.

Lu Han pauses, hands on the stove as the egg sizzles, lips pressed together as his chest fills with lead. “I didn’t,” he says and swallows with significant difficulty. 

“I knew I didn’t like him,” Junmyeon says as he begins to take a sip of his coffee. He ends up dropping it as Lu Han slams a fist into his jaw. Junmyeon looks up, stunned and hand lingering over his jaw as Lu Han, breathing heavily, glares at the countertop. “Lu-“

“Please, just don’t,” Lu Han pants, eyes closed. “Please.”

“Lu Han, if he left-“

“He didn’t leave me!” Lu Han yells, turning to Junmyeon angrily as the egg burns. 

“You broke up with-“ 

“I didn’t break up with him!” Lu Han snaps, stabbing angrily into the pan. “He-“ Lu Han bites his lip, holding back the wrenching in his chest. He feels the gentle press by his calf and looks down to see Chen rubbing gently against him, eyes upturned to him in concern. “I’m okay,” he tells him and Chen meows. 

“Stop talking to my cat,” Junmyeon says, grabbing a few paper towels to mop up the coffee he spilled when Lu Han had punched him. “It’s weird.”

“He’s not your fucking cat anymore,” Lu Han says, quickly scrambling the egg before transferring it to a plate. “He’s just Chen.”

“What do you mean he’s not my cat?” Junmyeon asks, scowling. 

“You never really own cats,” Lu Han says, bringing the plate down to Chen and setting it on the floor, running a hand down the sleek gray back. “They own themselves and then deem you worthy to own them or call master.” Chen looks up at him and meows, eyes frowning. “No, no spoons.” Chen bats at Lu Han’s arm with an agitated paw. 

“Did you just tell him he can’t use a spoon?” Junmyeon asks, watching Lu Han and Chen on the floor with raised eyebrows. 

“Because he wants to but he doesn't have thumbs anymore,” Lu Han says, smiling sadly at Chen as the cat gives him annoyed look before grudgingly eating the egg on the plate. “So, no more spoons.” He smiles fondly, fingers gently brushing the back of Chen’s neck, dragging over the black collar Lu Han has grown so accustomed to seeing against pale skin. “They were always his favorite.”

A low rumble begins to bubble up from Chen’s throat, tumbling from his mouth as he takes small bites of egg, eating slowly. Lu Han continues to pet him, fingers brushing over his favorite spots and leading Chen to arch into his touch. 

“He’s purring,” Junmyeon says, watching as if transfixed. 

“He only does it if you give more attention to his right ear,” Lu Han says, scratching said spot gently. “He’s really sensitive there.”

“And you know how?” Junmyeon asks, voice skeptical even as he gives Lu Han a wary look. 

Lu Han looks him dead in the face. “Because I’ve spent the last few weeks with him,” he says honestly.

Junmyeon gives him a long look. “You need your head checked.”

“We can go together,” Lu Han says, turning back to Chen, who is licking his mouth and looking up at Lu Han. “They can check to see where your heart went.”

The clink of the coffee cup on the counter symbolizes Junmyeon leaving. Lu Han calls into the bookstore himself that morning, telling Tao that he’s too sick to come to work. Tao asks what’s wrong. Lu Han tells him he has really bad chest pains. Tao asks if he’s going to the hospital. Lu Han tells him it’s terminal and to please make sure his obituary has lots of romantic phrasing and odes to his masculinity. Tao reminds him that he has a doe pixy face. Lu Han tells Tao his face looks like a horror film villain and to go wake up Jongin from his nap among stuffed animals and beanbag chairs. 

Chen spends most of the day sitting on Lu Han’s chest while Lu Han lays sprawled on the couch and stares between the turned off television, the ceiling, and the lamp. Neither of them eat lunch and Chen gives him a judgmental look when Lu Han asks if he’s hungry. They don’t move even when Junmyeon comes back with Sehun, toting groceries. Sehun gives them a worried look while Junmyeon ignores them and instead sets about making dinner. 

As the smells of dinner waft over to them, Chen picks up his head, stretching slightly, paw resting gently on Lu Han’s face. Lu Han looks down, rubbing gently against his ears. “Are you hungry?” he asks. Chen blinks at him before getting up, stretching, and crawling off of Lu Han’s chest. Lu Han moves to sit up, to follow Chen to the kitchen, but instead Chen just nestles into the hollow between his arms, putting a paw over his arm and digging his claws in gently. “Chen, you should eat.” Chen shoots him a look that says very clearly hypocrite. “I’m not hungry,” Lu Han says, honestly. 

“Are you sure?” Sehun’s voice startles Lu Han to look up over the back of the couch. He’s holding a small plate of food, chopsticks balanced on the edge. Lu Han blinks. Sehun shifts awkwardly. “I just,” he wets his lips quickly, tongue flashing out. “Well, I thought you might like something.”

“I’m not hungry,” Lu Han repeats, watching as Sehun moves around the couch and sets down the plate. 

“But maybe you will be,” Sehun says, straightening up and walking back towards the kitchen. He pauses by the edge of the couch. “Look, I know-“ He sighs again. “I don't know what happened, but I hope you can find him again.” Lu Han glances back at Sehun, who isn’t looking at him, instead frowning at the couch, mouth pressed into a line. “Because even if Junmyeon didn’t like him, and he was weird, he wasn’t bad.” Sehun leaves it at that. 

Chen watches as Sehun walks back to the kitchen, ears twitching. Lu Han smiles. “I think he was beginning to warm up to you,” Lu Han says, brushing gently at Chen’s whiskers and drawing his attention back to himself. Chen’s ears twitch again as he settles back into Lu Han. “You should eat.”

Chen doesn’t eat. Neither does Lu Han really, but he’s a little more worried when Chen refuses food the next morning, instead curling up on the bed as Lu Han finally takes a shower and tries to shake himself out of the hope that he’ll wake up and Chen will be human again, curled in his arms. They spend Saturday wandering around the apartment, Lu Han talking to Chen the same as he used to. The only difference is Chen can’t answer, though sometimes Lu Han doesn’t even have to hear him to know his words. 

“Would you stop?” Junmyeon snaps, frowning as Lu Han argues with Chen defiant stare that he can’t have his Korean books back because he can’t practice properly. 

“Stop what?” Lu Han asks, barely glancing at his roommate. Chen has been avoiding Junmyeon as if he’s an infected plague victim riddled with every parasite known to man. Junmyeon stopped trying to approach Chen after Chen nearly clawed out his eye. 

“Talking to him like that,” Junmyeon says, looking between Lu Han and Chen as they sit by a pile of Korean books, now littered with cat teeth indentations from when Chen had dragged them out earlier with determination. “It’s weird.”

“Would you rather I coo at him like he’s far below the intelligence of a snail?” Lu Han asks as Chen tries to open a book and fails, only getting as far as pushing the cover up. Lu Han finally takes pity on him and flips open the pages, settling somewhere around consonants and basic vocabulary. Chen pounces on the book and begins reading fervently. 

“But you’re talking like you’re having a conversation,” Junmyeon says, watching Chen warily, frowning. “It’s-“

“What?” Lu Han asks, turning the page absently when Chen meows at him. 

“It’s like how you used to talk to Jongdae,” Junmyeon finishes, eyes still on Chen. 

Chen looks up, gold eyes piercing Junmyeon as Lu Han frowns. “You’re a prick,” Lu Han says, before getting up and walking from the room, striding into his room and flopping down face first onto the bed. Somehow, even when he’s just beginning to accept this and try to move on, it always ends up slamming into him again. Half an hour later, he hears the light tinkling of a bell and the next moment, Chen is hopping onto the bed and curling up next to where his face is pressed into the coverlet. Lu Han signs into patterns stitched into bedding as he feels Chen place a paw on his hair.

“I’m fine, Chen,” Lu Han says, turning to look at Chen, who looks at him with unconvinced whiskers. “Well, okay, not fine but better than I could be.” He tries to smile, petting Chen between the ears. “Is it better this way?”

Chen answers him by turning his head and lightly biting Lu Han’s hand, not hard enough to hurt but enough to get the message across. Fuck this. 

“I don’t know how to fix this,” Lu Han says to both himself and Chen as the cat releases Lu Han’s hand, watching him carefully with gold eyes. “Junmyeon likes you now.” Chen narrows his eyes. “Oh come on, it’s better than him trying to kick you out. Besides now you can exert your revenge on him for being such an ass hole. You should bite his ankles next.” Lu Han is pretty sure of Chen could, he would raise an eyebrow. “Or not,” Lu Han amends and Chen pats him on the nose. Lu Han smiles, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to the top of Chen’s head, lips against soft fur. Chen meows sadly, claws digging slightly into his neck. 

Chen doesn’t eat the next day. Instead, he crawls into Lu Han’s laundry basket and buries himself among Lu Han’s dirty boxers and glares at him when he tries to offer him grilled fish. Lu Han sighs, urging Chen out with convining arguments such as ‘if you don’t eat, I’ll put it in your litter box’ and ‘maybe it’s magic fish, like the magic sink.’ Chen instead just nestles into his boxers and look at him as if saying eat it yourself, you mad hatter. It’s not like you’re eating any more than I am.

“When was the last time you ate?” Junmyeon asks him, eyes on Lu Han as he puts the untouched fish back on the counter, shuffling back to the living room to drape himself over the back of the couch and let all the blood rush to his head. 

“I don’t know, Thursday?” Lu Han says. “It’s kind of hard to feel hungry right now.”

“Lu Han, you need to eat,” Junmyeon says, following Lu Han into the living room. “Just because Jongdae left y-“

“He didn’t leave me!” Lu Han yells, rounding on Junmyeon. 

“Then what, he turned back into my cat?” Junmyeon snaps. 

“Yes!” Lu Han yells, turning from Junmyeon and falling over the couch dramatically. “And now he’s a fucking cat again and everything is dandy.” The cushions aren’t very comforting.

“Why would he turn back?” 

Lu Han stills, face buried in the pillows before he pushes himself up, glowering back at Junmyeon. “What?”

“If,” Junmyeon starts, face drawn and frowning, arms crossed over his chest. “And this is a very big ‘if’, but if I believe you, why would he have turned back?”

Flopping back into the couch, Lu Han lets out a groan. “I don’t know,” he says. “Maybe because he was sad about being a human because some people were such assholes to him, he thought it would be better if he was a cat again.” He lets out a long sigh. “He never was perfectly okay with being a human anyway.”

“Nope,” Junmyeon says, turning and running his hands over his face. “This is too weird. Nope.”

Junmyeon leaves with a stiff back to his room, Lu Han remaining on the couch in a mess of limbs and emotions and the inability to figure out where to go from here. 

Apparently, Tao has become concerned. Sehun, who Lu Han has begun to notice watches him in concern and tries to talk to Junmyeon only to dissolve into weird arguments that always end with someone being hit before fiercely making out, also seems to have picked up on something. And so, Lu Han opens the door on Monday evening and glowers, hair plastered to one side of his head and sticking in every direction on the other with Chen draped about his shoulders and looking frail to the faces of Yixing and Baekhyun. 

“Fuck,” Lu Han says as greeting, before walking into the apartment on tired legs. Yixing shoots him a loaded look as Baekhyun pushes them into the apartment. “Why are you here?” Lu Han asks, voice cracking slightly in dryness as he walks to the living room.

“Tao called,” Yixing says, eyebrows frowning with his mouth. “He seemed worried about you. Something about chest pains and obituaries.”

“Sehun called,” Baekhyun adds, bringing up the rear and making sure to close the door. “He seemed worried about both you and Jongdae.”

“How tender,” Lu Han says, gently flopping down into his armchair as Chen slides from his shoulders and curls into his lap, nestling against his chest. Baekhyun’s eyebrows rise as he looks at them. “Is that all?”

“What happened?” Yixing asks, sitting down on the couch, Baekhyun beside him. 

Lu Han swallows. “I don’t know,” he says, fingers absently playing with Chen’s collar. 

“Did he say anything?” Baekhyun asks, watching him with concerned eyes, taking in the bags under his eyes and the pallid color of his skin. 

“Not really,” Lu Han says as Chen kneads into his shirt. Chen’s fur has begun to lose its gloss.

“Lu Han,” Baekhyun’s soft melodic voice is comforting. “There something you’re not telling us, and if you don’t, we can’t help.” Lu Han blinks, looking up at the smaller man as he watches him carefully from the sofa. “I mean, that's why we’re here. It’s not like this is a picnic or something.”

“It’s complicated,” Lu Han says, swallowing down a dry throat, eyes flickering among his friends and Baekhyun. 

“How complicated?” Yixing asks, looking at him carefully. “Is he a criminal?”

“No,” Lu Han says, shifting. “He’s a cat. This cat. He’s Chen.”

Yixing stares. Sehun, who has just walked in from Junmyeon’s room, also stares. Baekhyun just blinks, looking only moderately surprised. “Well,” Baekhyun says. “This is a plot twist.” 

“Are you insane?” Yixing asks, looking gobsmacked. 

“Well, it certainly explains a lot,” Baekhyun says, leaning back onto the couch. 

Yixing turns to his boyfriend. Lu Han stares at him. Sehun just is having an out of body experience judging from the expression on his face. “Are you insane?” Yixing asks Baekhyun, tone filled with disbelief. 

“Well, how else do you explain Jongdae’s behavior?” Baekhyun asks, shrugging. 

“You believe him?” Sehun asks, looking down at Baekhyun, who turns to look at him with a lazy expression.

“We believe in UFO’s and alternate dimensions and ghosts,” Baekhyun says before turning back to Lu Han. “I mean, animal transformations to human’s isn’t exactly playing the Ouiji board but honestly, Jongdae was the most feline person I’ve ever met. Did no one else notice him absently licking his hand when he thought we weren’t looking?”

“No,” Yixing says, staring at Baekhyun in astonishment. 

“So you’re saying you woke up one day and Chen the cat became Jongdae the human?” Sehun asks, still looking very winded. 

“Actually, it was more Chen the cat human thing that refused to put on pants,” Lu Han rasps out as Chen watches the conversation with avid interest from his lap. “He didn’t really see the importance of them.”

“I’m dreaming,” Sehun says, frowning and turning to walk back into Junmyeon’s bedroom.

“I wish I was,” Yixing says, putting his head into his hands.

“When did this happen?” Baekhyun asks, keeping on topic miraculously. 

“A few days after Junmyeon left for Guam,” Lu Han says.

“Do you know why?” Baekhyun continues, putting a hand to the back of Yixing’s neck and rubbing. 

“Not r-“

“For fucks sake, Lu Han, cats don’t just randomly change into humans,” Yixing snaps, looking up from his hands and looking at Lu Han in annoyance. “Oh Jesus, I’m talking like this is real.”

“Look at them,” Baekhyun says, gesturing to Lu Han and Chen. “It’s basically like looking at Jongdae and Lu Han, except Jongdae is smaller and furrier and has a tail. And whiskers.”

“I see Lu Han being sad and snuggly with a cat,” Yixing says, looking up at Lu Han. 

“All cats hate Lu Han,” Junmyeon says, walking into the living room with a frown. Sehun is following behind him looking slightly skittish. “Chen hated Lu Han before I went to Guam. And now he treats Lu Han like they’re-“

“Lovers,” Baekhyun finishes with a nod. 

“I was going to say boyfriends,” Junmyeon sighs, running a hand through his hair. “The mental image of Lu Han having sex with my cat is far too disturbing.”

“That’s beastiality,” Yixing says, looking slightly ill. 

“He was human,” Lu Han snaps, as Chen shifts on his lap. “And he was asking for it.”

“Jesus fucking Hell,” Junmyeon says, dragging his hand down his face. 

“You believe me?” Lu Han asks, watching the small assembly of people in the living room as they watch him and Chen. 

“No,” Sehun says, still looking slightly constipated. “But seeing you sad all the time rather than trolling my asshole of a boyfriend is depressing.”

“I’m not an asshole,” Junmyeon protests, turning to Sehun with a frown. 

“Yes, you are,” Sehun says, hitting him lightly and earning a scowl. “You've been more of a diva than me this past week, and that says a lot.”

“No one is more high maintenance than-“ 

“Okay, enough of the bedroom talk,” Baekhyun cuts the squabbling couple off. “I believe you. I already told you, I like Jongdae.”

“You are very weird,” Yixing tells his boyfriend.

“And you’re not?” Baekhyun asks, looking to Yixing with a small smile. 

“I approve of your selection, Yixing,” Lu Han says, looking between Baekhyun and Yixing. “I like him.”

“Back off,” Yixing says, putting a hand on Baekhyun’s knee. “You stick with your weird cat love tragedy.”

Lu Han looks down at Chen. Chen looks up at him. Chen meows long and sad from his tiny body. “I don’t know why he turned back.”

“Why did he turn in the first place?” Baekhyun asks. “Think Lu Han.”

“Something I’d like to know,” Junmyeon grumbles as he shoves Sehun lightly while the other hits him absently. “You used to hate Chen.”

“I never hated Chen,” Lu Han grumbles. “I just wanted-“ he freezes.

Cheonggyecheon. 

One hundred won.

Oppa girl.

And a wish.

“Fuck,” Lu Han slips out and Chen meows. 

Chen won’t eat. Lu Han barely managed to get down a piece toast before feeling sick. Yixing is pretty sure it’s because Lu Han hasn’t eaten in days. Lu Han spends two hours trying to get Chen to take down some fish scraps before just sitting on the floor with a saucer of milk, ending up falling asleep at half past one in the morning as he waits for Chen to please eat something. “Chen, you need to eat,” Lu Han says, voice tired as Chen remains curled into his side, shuddering slightly. “Please.”

Chen takes down a little bit of milk the next morning. But that’s all. 

“He’s going to starve,” Sehun says, looking at Chen with worried eyes.

It’s depressing to think that Lu Han may indeed end up inadvertently killing Junmyeon’s cat. Except he never figured the cause would be heartache. Junmyeon, still grumbling about impossibilities, drags Lu Han out on Wednesday, leaving Sehun to look after Chen, who howls when Lu Han steps out the door. Lu Han barely resists Junmyeon’s firm grip, too tired to bother. “He’s a cat, Junmyeon,” he mumbles as Junmyeon shoves him into a bank and demands what is probably a million won in coins. “He’s a cat. I’m in love with a cat.”

“Well, you always were a weird one,” Junmyeon says, shoving Lu Han from the bank and onto a subway. Lu Han doesn’t realize where they are until he sees the familiar spiral shell sculpture painted in rainbows. 

“And you fucking me?” Lu Han asks incredulously, turning to Junmyeon.

“No, I’m fucking Sehun,” Junmyeon says, pushing Lu Han down the steps of the Cheonggyecheon. 

Lu Han pauses, turning back to Junmyeon. “I never knew you topped.”

“I don’t,” Junmyeon says, rolling his eyes. “Come on, we have some coins to waste.”

They end up spending a good three hours throwing coin after coin into the Cheonggyecheon, Lu Han making wish after wish while Junmyeon adds a few of his own. 

“He can never be human though,” Lu Han says, sitting cross-legged on the stone, and fingering the last 100 won coin. 

“Why not?” Junmyeon asks, squinting into the dying rays of the sun. 

“Because he’s a cat,” Lu Han says. 

“So wish that,” Junmyeon says, looking at the water as it sparkles in the late afternoon sun. 

Lu Han purses his lips, butt hurting from sitting on the hard stone. He takes aim, the last coin barely a weight in his hand compared to the bag they walked here with. The sun glints, Lu Han frowns, and with a small plop the coin lands in the dead center of the wishing circle. 

In silence, they sit for a few minutes, just watching the Cheonggyecheon rush past as children and couples and tourists walk around them. 

“Hey,” says Junmyeon, not looking at Lu Han. “I love Chen. He’s my cat and all but, well, I hope your wish comes true.”

“So you believe me?” Lu Han asks, watching water swirl and turn effortlessly. 

“I don’t know what to believe,” Junmyeon sighs, getting up and brushing himself off, holding a hand out to Lu Han, who pushes himself up on his own. “I’m sorry,” Junmyeon says, as Lu Han turns to him. He fidgets. “I haven’t exactly been a great friend lately.”

“You thought I ate your cat,” Lu Han says, shrugging. “Just for the record, I’ve never eaten a cat and don't plan to. Though some people in Beijing do.”

“That’s repulsive,” Junmyeon says, giving him a startled look.

“People in New Zealand eat grubs,” Lu Han says, shrugging. 

“Also repulsive,” Junmyeon says. “Will you eat today?”

“Maybe,” Lu Han says. “I hope Chen does.”

In the depths of his pocket, Lu Han’s cell phone rings. He digs it out and flips it open, barely glancing at the number as he answers with what may be ‘hello’ but which is probably ‘what, asshole?’

“There’s something wrong with Chanyeol,” Yifan says, voice panicked over the phone.

“Define wrong,” Lu Han says as Junmyeon gives him a curious look. 

“He’s acting strange. The vet says there’s nothing wrong but he’s been acting strange,” Yifan says. “He’s not really eating and he keeps either avoiding me or wont leave me alone.”

“I’m sorry,” Lu Han says. “This is Lu Han. I don't know if you were trying to reach the dog whisperer hotline but-“

“Lu Han! I know it’s you, you twat,” Yifan spits and Lu Han blinks. Yifan is never annoyed unless he’s really riled up. “I just wish I knew what was wrong. I wish I could ask him what’s wrong.”

Lu Han blinks. “Go to the Cheonggyecheon,” Lu Han says and Junmyeon’s eyebrows rise on his face. “Make a few wishes and see what happens.” Yifan sputters as Lu Han hangs up on him.

“You’re a horrible friend,” Junmyeon says, staring at Lu Han. 

“I’m delightful,” Lu Han corrects him. 

Sehun apparently is a genius. While Chen refuses to eat and mopes around with increasingly matted fur because Lu Han does not think a bath is the best idea at the moment, Chen drugged out of his mind on catnip thinks food is the best thing ever. “You should have seen it,” Sehun says, watching as Chen naps on the couch in a heap as he leads Lu Han and Junmyeon into the living room. “I barely got the plate of fish down near him before it was gone. He threw up half way through but got the rest of it down, plus a fair amount of water.”

“You’re a genius, Sehun,” Lu Han says, smiling and feeling a wave of relief as he looks at Chen, feeling both hope and despair. Though he supposes he shouldn’t have expected the find Chen bounding up to him, arms naked and waving happily, after just making the foolish wishes. Life isn’t that simple. “Thank fuck you deigned to choose Junmyeon as your mate.”

“Can we drug Lu Han with catnip too?” Junmyeon says dryly, pushing past Lu Han to the kitchen. “Then maybe he’ll eat and not starve himself into early stages of anorexia.” 

“I’m not hungry,” Lu Han says, wandering over to the couch and slumping to the floor so his face is level with Chen’s sleeping one, gently poking at his whiskers and smiling to himself as they twitch. Junmyeon doesn’t push. Sehun sets down a small bowl of rice and some water on the coffee table an hour later. Lu Han manages half before feeling sick and leaves it. Chen wakes up just as Lu Han is walking to his room, blinking blearily. “Hey, sleepy face,” Lu Han says, rubbing a hand over Chen’s ears. Chen blinks, eyes going wide, before he seems to realize he’s still a cat and meows at Lu Han. 

“No, I can’t kiss you,” Lu Han tells him, bending down to pick him up. “That’d be weird.” Chen doesn’t seem to think so as he butts his face to Lu Han’s, rubbing vigorously. Lu Han laughs. “You don't need to mark me, I’m already yours.”

“I seriously hope Chen really is Jongdae and Lu Han hasn’t actually lost it,” Sehun says as he emerges from the bathroom, toweling his hair dry. 

“Honestly, if Lu Han has gone insane, it’s not like much will change,” Junmyeon says, walking to Sehun and swiftly kissing him. 

“You're a wonderful friend,” Lu Han says, turning to Junmyeon with an excessive smile on his face.

“Get some rest,” Junmyeon says, his eyes flickering to Chen who is curled in Lu Han’s arms. Lu Han falls asleep with Chen curled into chest, nails digging into his skin as he kneads, purring softly. 

“You’re still high as fuck, aren’t you?” Lu Han says, smoothing down fur. Chen makes a soft meow purr hybrid and shifts, small body quivering against Lu Han as sleep slowly creeps over them. 

It’s hot. Excessively hot and sticky and claustrophobic and cramped. It’s almost suffocating as the heat wraps itself around Lu Han and sucks all of his energy away. He groans, trying to move away from the breathing hampering hot thing that is pressed so determinately over his face that Lu Han is pretty sure he may be experiencing poorly planned homicide. He tries to roll from under the horrible hot thing but freezes when it groans. 

Groans.

A second later, Lu Han is scrambling, hands pushing at everything and anything as he tries to get up and see and please for the love of-

There is a loud indignant squawk as something, or someone, tumbles unceremoniously to the floor from Lu Han’s frantic movements in a tangle of sheets, limbs, and sounds. “Oh my God!” Lu Han yelps, flinging himself to look over the edge of the bed at Chen, sprawled in an awkward arrangement of limbs and facial expressions and tangled in most of Lu Han’s blankets. Chen frowns at him. 

“That hurt,” he says and then his eyes fly wide. “Speaking!” he yelps before shouting a second later as Lu Han hurls himself from the bed and onto him, wrapping his arms around him and essentially sobbing happiness. “Legs aren’t supposed to bend that way!”

“I don’t care!” Lu Han yelps happily, burrowing into Chen and laughing idiotically. “You’re back, you’re human, God I missed you.”

“I never left!” Chen yells at him, trying to fight Lu Han’s ridiculous hold on himself. 

“I know, but I can’t hug you like this when you’re a cat because you'd squish into cat jelly,” Lu Han says, breathless as Chen wriggles around until he’s properly in Lu Han’s arms again. Lu Han’s grin hurts on his face it’s so wide. 

“Or kiss you,” Chen says, mouth tugging at the corners. “Though I tried.”

“So, you’re okay not being a cat?” Lu Han asks, feeling breathless as he looks between Chen’s two very dark brown eyes, all traces of gold gone. 

“I never want to see another litter box again,” Chen says, hands coming up to trace over Lu Han’s face, fingers trembling as he runs them over lines that he seems to scared to touch for fear they’ll disappear. “Is it okay?”

“For you to be human?” Lu Han asks, feeling his heart pound. 

“Yeah,” Chen clarifies, biting his lip as he looks up at Lu Han, face creased. 

“Fuck, yes,” Lu Han says breathlessly, leaning down and finally pressing his lips against those which he had never thought he’d miss so much but which he has as Chen’s fingers dig into his hair, chest arching into him as Chen moans high and loud. “Yes, it’s okay,” Lu Han pants, kissing Chen repeatedly as he holds him close. 

“I’ll learn,” Chen pants, hands scrabbling at every inch of Lu Han he can, tugging his sleep shirt hastily over his head and kissing him frantically. Lu Han laughs, the happy sound spilling from his throat as his kisses Chen over and over, hands flying over skin he’s not touched in what feels like an eternity as Chen rolls them over, straddling him and kissing every inch of skin he can reach. 

“Is everything al-Oh My God!” Junmyeon slams the door open and immediately runs back into it, trying to leave as Lu Han turns and Chen rips off Lu Han’s boxers, hands fire over his skin. 

“Junmyeon, what’re, oh, Hi Jongd- What?!” Sehun looks even paler as he walks in and belated processes the scene. 

“Chen’s human again!” Lu Han yells to the other couple as Chen growls low in his throat somewhere around Lu Han’s midriff. 

“Oh, my eyes!” Junmyeon wails as he falls his way out of the room.

“Good to know,” Sehun rasps out, following Junmyeon and closing the door swiftly. 

“Mine,” Chen growls, leaning up and burying his face in Lu Han’s neck, breathing harsh as he rolls down onto Lu Han, cock hard. 

“Yours,” Lu Han says, breathless at the amazing fiction. “Do you really want to-“

“I have been stuck as a goddamn cat for a week, if you don’t fuck me now, I’m going to fuck myself,” Chen growls and rolls into Lu Han again. 

“Fair enough,” Lu Han says, breathless and still bursting somewhere around his entire body in numbing delight at the human who is panting in his arms. Shifting to try to push Chen over even as Chen resists with a whine. 

“Mine,” Chen repeats and Lu Han looks at him as he draws away. Chen’s eyes are dark and hazed but hold so much sincerity in them Lu Han feels like he’s drowning. “Not boyfriends,” Chen pants, rolling back onto Lu Han, cocks sliding together, stiffening rapidly. “Mates. Lovers. Bonded.” 

“Mine,” Lu Han moans, rolling up into Chen with a thrust and dragging a harsh pant from him. 

“Please,” drops from Chen’s lips as he bucks and Lu Han begins to sit up, reach for the small bottle of lube he’s not bothered to put back from it’s current home on his bed side table, when Chen grabs him, panting, and aligns him with purpose. 

“Chen, wait-“ Lu Han’s words die in his throat as Chen sinks himself down, mouth open red and wide as he face creases. It’s hot. So hot and tight and intense Lu Han can barely gasp air into his lungs. Before he can even place steadying hands on hips, Chen is pulling off and slowly moving back down, whine curling in his throat. “Holy fuck.”

“Lu Han,” Chen rasps out as he rocks back, setting an uneven pace that has Lu Han gasping, trying not to jerk into him. 

“Holy hell, you’re tight,” Lu Han pants, finally gripping his hips and stabilizing him as he plants two hands on Lu Han’s chest, firmly rocking back and letting out small gasps. Chen answers him with a long moan, pressing down hard and jerking, taking Lu Han deep and dragging a moan from him as well. “Chen,” he pants out, rocking up and into the amazing tight heat of Chen, sending his entire body into a fog. Chen huffs into his neck, pace speeding up as he pushes down into Lu Han’s thrusts, small moans echoing through the room rising in volume with Lu Han’s rasping pants, as the spiral towards the edge. 

“Close,” Chen huffs, nails digging into Lu Han’s sides as he slams himself down harshly, taking him deep and hard. Lu Han, breaths short, swiftly ghosts his hand to Chen’s obvious arousal, pumping quickly and Chen lets out a loud cry, head tipping back and baring the smooth curve of his throat, mouth spilling obscene sounds. A moment later, he’ arching, letting out a strangle yell as he clenches down around Lu Han and shoves him tumbling over the edge as well, hips snapping and chest heaving off the floor. A moment later, Chen is crumpling into him, limp and breathless and Lu Han, hazed and body humming, immediately wraps him in his arms and pulls them together. 

“I feel like having sex barely ten minutes after you’ve turned back into a human is a bit bold,” Lu Han pants into Chen’s mussed and sweaty hair. 

“Probably,” Chen gasps, chest still heaving as he curls into Lu Han, fingers splayed over heated skin. “But I don’t really think anything about us is normal.” He smiles, turning to look at Lu Han with flushed cheeks and dancing eyes. “I love you.”

Lu Han smiles, kissing him sweetly. “I know,” he says and Chen blinks. 

“How do you know?” Chen asks, eyes flickering between his own. 

“Because I’m telepathic,” Lu Han says with a smile and Chen bites him gently on the nose to chastise him before letting out a soft laugh. Lu Han sighs happily, shifting before rolling them over to snuggle further into the sheets, just making Chen laugh more, voice ringing. “I love you,” Lu Han says into Chen’s hair, grinning broadly. 

“I know,” Chen says back and Lu Han couldn’t be happier if he tried. 

After a long overdue shower, Chen dresses in the clothes Lu Han bought and wanders into the living room looking alive and as if he hadn’t just spent the past week as a cat. Lu Han follows and makes for the kitchen, grabbing about six different things before practically bouncing into the living room. 

“So, were you really Junmyeon’s cat?” Sehun asks, perched on the sofa and looking at Chen carefully.

“Don’t ever give me catnip again,” Chen tells Sehun as he grabs his Korean books and flips them open. “Also, if you aren’t careful, I’ll tell Junmyeon about how you sing songs to yourself about romantic picnics and Joony cakes and Sehun the Moon man.”

Sehun sputters incoherently at Chen as Chen folds himself elegantly on the couch. 

“Those both sounds better than ChenChen-foobly-woobly-bumber-pants,” Lunan says, flopping onto the couch and into Chen, wrapping his arms around him and smiling into his shoulder as Chen lets them crumple uselessly into the couch. 

“Well, it’s just proof Junmyeon should never nick name anything,” Chen says, wrapping his arms around Lu Han in turn and pressing his nose into clean hair. 

“So, you’re back,” Junmyeon says, walking into he room and looking at Chen warily. 

“Yes,” Chen says, stiffening and looking at Junmyeon steadily. “I’m back, so to speak.”

“Were you really Chen? My ChenChen?” Junmyeon asks, sitting down with Sehun and a small frown.

“Yes,” Chen says flatly. “Though you don’t own me now.” His face cracks in a small sort of smile. 

“How do I know you’re Chen?” Junmyeon asks, eyes narrowing.

“You used to hum to yourself about how you were the great guardian of all of the ass when getting dressed in the mornings,” Chen says as if this is a completely normal statement. Junmyeon flushes scarlet. “You also used to practice pic-“ Junmyeon hurls a pillow at Chen to get him to shut up as Lu Han bursts into hysterical laughter and Sehun raises very surprised eyebrows. 

“Guardian of all the ass,” Sehun says, looking down at Sehun.

“I covet nice asses,” Junmyeon says, throwing on a calm face as he slips his hands into the back of Sehun’s jeans. 

Lu Han snorts laughter into cushions as Chen wriggles under him, forcing them further into the couch and further into each other. Lu Han’s not entirely sure where they will go from here, but he’s pretty sure they’ll figure it out. It won’t be easy, considering Chen doesn’t really have a history, or anything really, but at this point in time, Lu Han is just glad he’s here, safe in his arms, and not wishing to be anything or anywhere else. 

Over lunch, Lu Han’s phone goes off. Chen smacks him a few times with his spoon as Lu Han passes and Lu Han ruffles his hair, giant smile on his face. 

“Abuse recovery hotline,” Lu Han answers, putting the phone to his ear.

“Lu Han!” Yifan yells at him through the phone and Lu Han jerks the device away from his ear.

“Yifan!” Lu Han bellows back before bringing the received back to his ear hesitantly. “What’s up?”

“Lu Han! There is a naked man in my apartment!” Yifan is apparently in hysterics. “He keeps saying his name is Chanyeol and falling over himself and laughing and rolling around and calling me ‘master’ and- NO PUT THE TENNIS BALL DOWN!” Lu Han’s eyes widen before he’s bursting into laughter. “Lu Han! He won’t put on pants and keeps shoving his face into my crotch!” Yifan yells over a few loud explosions of sound in the background. “What the hell is happening!?”

“Have fun, Yifanny pants!” Lu Han calls over the phone before flipping it shut, giant grin on his face. 

“Who was that?” Chen asks as Lu Han returns to the table and wraps their fingers together next to the spare set of chopsticks Chen has yet to learn to use. 

“Just Yifan,” Lu Han says. “He just wanted to thank me for some advice I gave him the other day.” Junmyeon shoots him a skeptical look over their dwengang jiggae. Lu Han grins, squeezing Chen’s hand tightly in his own and not bothering to hide the huge smile that spreads over his face as Chen pats him lightly on the shoulder with his spoon, asking for more of the ‘little fishies’ side dish.


End file.
